Dianalorena

This process is really rough, and it can make you go crazy. Sometimes I feel like I'm losing my mind, but I won't let it define me, who I am or how I relate to others. 

I know the waiting is brutal, some days we all feel like we can't go on. But even then, we can't let it affect us so much that we end up hurting others. 

It's a darn shame that you meet people that are going through the same and think you have found a support system, just to be completely wrong about them. 

I didn't create a fake profile and trolled the forums and/or insulted others like them. (it remains unclear to me if this is what I did to deserve the polarizing reaction of being cast out) I was also called a liar.  I never lied, but I did omit the truth: I didn't say that I found their actions to be pointless, childish and downright mean, that not everyone is trying to scam and that we are not under attack from others as they seem to believe. That I don't think anything is gained from fighting or gossip, even when I tried my best to fit in. It's just not me.

We all deal with stress in different ways. To each their own. 

I don't have the time and energy to waste on being mean to others, I was bullied growing up and it devastated me. I've lost friends before because I was honest and tried to help them out or just spoke my mind. It pains me to realize I haven't fully learned how to choose friends yet, or that I don't always follow my instinct when I should. I'm not perfect by any means, but I always try to do the best I can and be the best person possible for those that I care about. 

I will not succumb to peer pressure or the stress of immigration and become a horrible human just because I am under stress. Sorry. I know they're not necessarily bad people, and I wish them the best. I know they're just going through a very rough time, but so are the rest of us. It's not an excuse. 

Good riddance, and another harsh lesson learned.