blackmamba007

Lee,
You are a restless case. Let your friends who said you are "NICE" read this thread. Now I am 100% sure why your wife acting that way...... The problem is NOT your wife it's YOU!!!! Listen to yourself.
I hope you let her go because she deserve much more
RESPECT.
I rest my case.
This whole thread is such a wasted of time. I hope the moderator sees that.
How about start a topic UNGRATEFUL USC selfish Husband who doesn't deserve Filipina wife? Poor Anna... Tsk tsk

I'm sorry I have this problem, it probably stems from being an Engineer. People seem stupid to me sometimes, it is easy for me to envision them as ants going about their business and not paying attention to whats going on around them. It is a less desirable trait and I do try to control it most times, however this is not one of them. You do realize that 14 bucks an hour is less then many fast food....I'm sorry...MCjob workers get now right? and if you think $18 an hour is a "plan" lol I have news for you buddy.....you are in your mid 40s and married a 25 year old woman, work it out, if not divorce her so she can get on with her life while she is still young, but above all don't go on a social site and blast everyone's advice after you aired your dirty laundry, we didn't ask about your business, you put it out there.

You totally scared the hell out of me with your "RESPONSE". I don't see any compassion in your response. If this how you communicate with us, I'm guessing this is also how you communicate with your wife. No wonder she don't appreciate you.
If I were you let her work at MCjob that you think it's a degrading work for immigrants. Let her decide for herself while she is adjusting. She don't appreciate your effort because it is too much for her to handle as of the moment.
You do have a good plan for her. I commend you for that. But the way you write comments here……….. It is out of question……..maybe you are a nice guy… but a nice guy won't even talk that way. Think first because you go ballistic with your response.
Why would you post your concern here if there's not a hint of appreciation in your part with our comments.
Maybe your wife just reciprocate how you treat her. Think it over.

Just curious as to what countries excludes recognizing a Philippine passport, but allows US passport entry?
For me the greatest gift I can give my wife is unconditional love, 'for better or worse, richer or poorer, yada yada yada'. Not a blue booklet with a face picture in it.

I read through this thread and a few things surprised me, and would be a direct insult to most wives in any culture. I am not saying that you are wrong or that you are right, but you are not treating your wife as your equal.
I feel like Pinay need to feel that they are on the same level as you in a relationship,as does any woman. just the simple fact that you think you deserve appreciation for bringing her here is an insult, appreciation is given for things you do not "have" to do, it is not given for bringing the woman you love to live in your country. That is expected, it isn't a gift.
The fact that you are separating your finances tells another story as well, it is your wife...why would you require her to work to pay for her ticket home? she should be involved in your finances enough to know whether you can afford it or not, how can you expect her to be comfortable in your relationship if you treat her as a second class member of it? This is even bigger of an issue for a pinay, simply because of the conditions she lived in before, she will not admit it, and may not even know it, but it is true.
I do not know your wife, so I am trying not to make too many opinion based statements and trying to offer constructive critism, I have been with my wife for 4 years and I have slipped into making some similar mistakes as I feel you are, and at the end of the day when I stepped back and tried to put myself in her shoes it would nearly bring me to tears at how I had treated her, she needs re-assurance much more then an American girl, she may feel like it is so easy for you to walk away and want to see if that will happen. She needs to feel like she is not expendable just because she is a pinay. It will get better with time, my wife has no doubts now, it is like any relationship you have ever been in, just with different problems and a less vocal partner. my thoughts to you is to stop separating yourself from her in terms of pinay and kano, be a couple. If you want to give up do it soon for her sake. good luck man, I wish you both the best

I was sympathetic at first to your situation, and before you ask i am within you proscribed geographic boundaries to respond. You are acting like an incredible asshat, you are demeaning, arrogant and narcissistic. Divorce her and be done with it. How dare you demean our significant others, by disparaging the collective you insult all without insight or knowledge. You acr like a 5 year old, nut up and just do what needs to be done, the martyr routine has played out, with each post you look more the clown

@ Dahlia.. As I was reading the latest posts (wincing as a few "got off topic" ) I too felt the real problem is looking back at him in the mirror each morning. Until he too sees this, nothing will improve.
I feel sorry for his wife and understand her desire to go back to the Phils.

The thread that just wont die...
I feel like you would get a lot more sympathy if it wasn't for the fact that his has been going on so long. You have been making posts/threads complaining about your wife for months now and so far haven't actually done anything meaningful about it.
It's my own personal view that you are creating a lot of the problems yourself with the lack of respect and empathy as well as the controlling attitude you have towards your wife. I can see that just from your side of the story, and I am sure her side would make that even more apparent.
Even if I am wrong and it is 100% your wife's fault for all these issues (it never is), the fact that you have received advice on how to handle the issue as early back as at least January (for all I know it could go back further, I didn't did that far) and haven't taken any of the advice to heart makes me think that you don't actually want to fix the issue. Seems to me that you come here, tell the biased side of your "tragic" story in hopes of getting support, attention, and agreement that your wife is terrible and that you are the innocent victim in this scenario and use that to feel righteous in your toxic relationship without doing anything to address all of the "misery" you are feeling.
I also think your opinion on the Philippines is clearly rooted much more in the problems that you have with your wife than actual reality. I've spent some time in the country as I have a relative who is married to a Filipino citizen and I think it is a wonderfully and absolutely beautiful place.
The reality is that the general opinion towards the country for posters on visajourney is probably going to to be incredibly biased. This is a forum where people come when they have issues or need help with immigration (or marital issues, apparently) so what is seen on here is going to be mostly the negatives and not many positives. So if people are basing their opinions on people from the Philippines on what they see here, then yes obviously things don't look great.

I have to say I have a very happy marriage to my beautiful Pinay. 4 years and going strong.

This is too funny, made me laugh a lot. Really good catch, I thought this thread sounded familiar. This has to be a troll.

Lee&Ana- I am a very lucky man to have found and married Dahlia....we both have learned how to love each other more and more each day, give and take, listening, and understanding your partners position and feelings.
It takes both people to make this work. Ana is certainly the one that is in the disadvantaged position and many people have posted about that, compassion, time and understanding on your part needs to be an investment you make in your future with her, at this point she cannot see this.
True Love is when you give to your partner without expecting anything in return....do you have true love for your wife ??
If you don't have what it takes to make this work, then be a strong man and pay her way back home if that is the only direction she wants to go, you can't force someone to love you or appreciate what you are doing for them. For her, maybe she needs to grow and mature before she is ready for the American way of life....
Just my thoughts....best of luck to both of you !!!
Cheers,
Curt

Typical american. Dont generalize it. U havent dated all filipina in the Philippines, heck not even more than 100 filipina to say that.