wheresthebeef29

Do you not think it's possible that the IO would question it?

As for the trial mentality, I'm shocked you have over 18,000 posts here and still seem to be surprised. I havent been on for a while, but such was a weekly occurance when I was here last.

They do.

Lol. Fair enough. Look I am not trying to find some loophole here in either of my threads. I am in a rubbish situation. I am. I made a mistake my overstaying after my visa expired, yep. But I did it. It is done. I shouldn't have done it but I have.

I was just looking for anecdotal advice from people who might have been in a similar spot.

Please keep in mind that immigration benefits are a privilege and not a right. Your, mine, or anyone else's personal opinions thankfully do not dictate the law.

You came here seeking opinions on your current state as evidenced by your original question "Any thoughts?" Not liking the feedback does not make it any less relevant. Immigration officers are human beings just like the rest of the posters here at VJ. Therefore you can expect similar scrutiny. We are all here to help each other and I think it would be beneficial if you were the one with the most open mind since you are the one seeking advice.

So when you hear things like "it sounds like you overstayed and are trying to do the AOS without even living together", do not be alarmed, shocked, or even more strangely, insulted. You know that proof is required and we are telling you how to provide it. USCIS scrutiny is not ridiculous and they have every right to determine what constitutes a "real" marriage vs a "scam". And I repeat, thankfully your personal definition (whatever it is) is not the standard.

So, I wish you the best in your immigration journey. However, there are glaring red flags that you think should not matter but do.

Thank you. This all makes sense, and I appreciate the time you've taken to give me thoughts and comments.

Why does the OP appear to be on trial here for daring to ask questions? Shouldn't the decision on their case situation be up to the IO and not VJ members?

Thank you. Seriously. I am gobsmacked and absolutely gutted by this reaction!!

Clearly made a mistake asking anything

When will I ever catch a break. I was just trying to get advice from people who have been through this.

So you have been out of status since 2014? 2 years? That's how long you said you have been with the man you married but don't live with.

Interesting.

You think? I left my job at the place we both worked at after it was discovered that we were in a relationship. It was not a fun time. That said, I am asking for insight from people who have been in a similar position to me -- i.e., for this post, disagreeing with attorney re filing for AP.

As an aside:

I was so upbeat last night about people's helpful (and candid) responses. Now I am utterly stunned and honestly devastated at how many people are so quick to use this forum as an opportunity slam someone else's marriage. Why don't the people who "suddenly" married their online boyfriend a week after coming in on a WVP get trolled like this?! Man. I feel sick.

Great. Then you shouldn't have any problems associated with your H1b.

You could have just opted to file for greencard through H1b. Much easier option. (based on personal experience).

Good Luck!

I know. Hindsight, ey. Thank you!!!

H1b visa is only valid if the visa holder is employed. The expiration date on visa is not to be taken as legal right to stay in the US of A.

If the employment is terminated, the employer informs USCIS to revoke the visa. Hence, the expiration date on visa is not valid.

It expired when I left my job in 2014.

There is a difference between getting married for immigration purposes and getting married and then playing by the rules of the immigration process.

No one's is suggestion you frame your relationship in a way that is any less genuine in terms of love, just follow the rules. We can't expect the government to make exceptions to account for the countless variations in relationships styles that different couples have, so they set a certain standard for the bona fieds and it's always best to consider these standards when going through the process.

Living together is in most cases seen as a pretty important requirement for proving a bona fied marriage. Most people know this going into it.

You need to prove that your marriage is for love, and its reasonable for someone to question the fact that your husband recently opened up a lease in a separate apartment than you when trying to make that judgement.

I'm really not seeing how it's counter intuitive to try your best to follow the suggestions of immigration law.

That's what we're trying to do now. It is not as if we both have moved around in different places since we've been married. I have a small ~500SF studio apartment. He has a slightly larger studio apartment that he's lived in and worked from for 11 years (though he did renew it to coincide with when my lease is up -- what else was he going to do?).

That said, your point about the government not making exceptions to account for the various relationship styles is a very good one. That's a good way to frame my concern. Maybe we should hold off on filing until 2017, when we have our ducks more in a row and are living arrangements aligned in the eyes of the law. Or maybe we should have lied, and risked someone finding out I have an apartment in my name that I can't get rid of for another 8 months.

Call me a wishful thinker, but I just figured we were past that stage as as country where marriage had to fit within the confines of a very rigid stereotype of one man, one woman, one house, a dog, lots of garden space, and 2.5 kids. We're a married couple who had a huge wedding with our friends, family and work colleagues, we met in person not online, we are part of the same religious group, we have an intimate (sexual) relationship, we want to have kids in the next year, and our families are a unit. We are living our lives together within .1 miles of each other until we can figure something else out. If that's too much for the "open minded" people on here to handle, you're all right, it won't fly with an IO. Which totally sucks and seems unfair as we should as a couple be able by law to use the immigration privileges that are afforded to everyone else who gets married and is in a bona fide relationship.

In short, it's clear that we should hold off until filing until 2017.

Thanks everyone for the advice! I appreciate it all.

You never mentioned the "little" fact that you have been here illegally since 2012 in your other thread.

It doesn't matter. Also I have not been here since 2012 illegally. I entered here in 2012 on an H1-B visa. It expired in 2014.

you are already separated seeing that you have never lived together in the first place. Just an observation

Being separated by half a block is different from being separated by the Atlantic Ocean, no? Come on.

You usually learn pretty quick that if you want things to work for your then you have to keep in mind what is best for immigration.

That seems counterintuitive to the whole concept of us getting married for love and not for immigration purposes.

where did you meet? how did you meet? have you met each others parents? do you have pictures with each others family? have you guys traveled together to the UK to meet your family? IMO those are the better telling signs of a true genuine marriage.

Yes to all of the above. We've met each other's parents, we have a lot of photos of stuff we've done together with both of our parents all together, and photos of events he's been to with just my Dad for example (they LOVE GOLF and are close), our parents have met each other.

Someone else asked about age and religion. We're both Jewish, white, and in our early 30s (two year age difference). We met through work.

Someone asked about the leases through 2017 -- I am on a two year lease in a co-op where I sublet from the owner. He is on a one year lease, renewed his lease in January since I was trapped in my place anyway until Feb 2017, so to speak, so we made the decision to look for a 2 bed (or maybe a house outside the city) next year. Maybe that wasn't the best decision but that's what we did. At the time, we didn't make this decision based on what was best on paper for immigration -- we made the decision based on what was best for our situation. It really sucks that even though this was an honest decision, it feels like we should have manipulated our situation to better fit with the standard white picket fence ideal held by the IOs. We just didn't know that at the time. We didn't marry and set up our lives based around the idea of getting a green card, so we didn't take it into consideration. I regret that now.

I would caution you to examine the United Kingdom's spousal immigration criteria before settling on this plan. It's not as simple as him moving right over. You would need to find a job with at least £18,000 yearly salary assuming you have no children. In your scenario where you use AP due to a family death, I highly doubt your priority will be lining up a new job over in the UK.

Alternatively, you would need a cash savings of £62,000 on hand if you do not have a job. I noticed in another thread you mentioned both you and your husband are high income earners, but the requirements are that the assets come from the UK citizen only.

Thanks for this. I know it wouldn't be easy, just as it is not easy on this end, but being separated just isn't an option.. he's my husband. You're right, it would be a lot of effort to start from the beginning of the immigration journey on the UK side of things, but that's all we can do. Hopefully it doesn't come to that!

I would just explain the leases and the medical issue.

For what it is worth, my first husband and I lived separately a few blocks apart for our whole marriage after sharing an apartment while dating. It wasn't a big deal, but we didn't have to deal with USCIS.

My current husband and I slept in different room for almost a year and I wish we had the separate bedrooms to do it now. I hate sharing a bedroom with someone else - I am an extreme night owl and my husband is an extreme morning person. I need a room to be very cold in order to sleep well, but most people can't stand it that cold, etc.

I'm sured they've seen it before and if you were trying to scam a greencard, you'd probably just lie about the living situation.

Thank you for this.

OP stated that both of them have leases through 2017, yes? OP, is it possible to add your name to your husband's studio lease, and his name to your lease? At least then, both of you would be on both leases.

This. This is a great idea. We're not living there 100% of the time, but it would be another way to show we are both equally responsible for and share all expenses and obligations of our lives.

I wish you both all the luck in the world, and I hope you will come back and let us know how your journey goes

Thank you so very much!

I also live in NYC. If you are both high earners then surely you can afford a two bedroom apartment. Right now you are paying two rents....it makes no sense..just playing devils advocate here. You need to realize how it appears . I wish I could help you with encouragement but it honestly makes no sense.

That is the plan. Right now we both have leases on our studios through mid 2017. Hence the no immediate plans to do so (I didn't say we never will, though! A 2 bed is the plan when our lease is up). I'm worried about giving specifics as I don't want to out myself, but it is loosely related to a form of sleep disorder on his end that renders it totally impossible for to sleep in the same room for the majority of the time. Which, in our current situation with us each in a studio, means separate apartments for now. We have regular sleepovers, it is not as if we NEVER sleep in the same apartment; we do on a regular basis. But he has to have his own place (and next year, room) for when this issue is at its peak.

Also, please don't consider me a bad wife! He insists on this arrangement as he ends up so upset and beating himself up the next day when I haven't been able to get any sleep. It is a really bad situation, but everyone has their flaws/issues and I cannot and do not blame him for his. We treasure the nights where we go out and drink so much wine that we're both unconscious and this isn't an issue LOL.

Maybe it's easier to document a medical condition with data than to document a "belief".

I guess, but that seems so discriminatory to me! I feel bad for those people.

So if you get the AP and leave, but don't get back in...what are your plans?

I don't plan to use it. Unless someone literally in my immediate family dies. Touch wood that doesn't happen. If it did, and they didn't let me in, my husband will move back with me (and be responsible on this end for coming back to the USA and upheaving all of our belongings!!). But I feel like the chance of getting back in with it, is substantially greater than the zero possible chance of me getting back in without it. Being an inherently non risky person myself, I want it "just in case."

Just preparing all of the forms for us, and answering questions from a legal point of view. Being that the husband is an attorney, he felt more comfortable that way. His call. We started off doing the forms ourselves, but it was kind of overwhelming and the idea of paying someone $750 to make sure we didn't mess it up and to tell us EXACTLY what we needed was very appealing! He also hadn't discovered the guides on this site at that point...

I should add -- it also has nothing to do with finances, and we wouldn't try and suggest it did at the interview. We're both high earners (him a little more than me), no criminal backgrounds, no previous marriages, both have graduate degrees (he's an attorney). In my opinion, nothing else on our application screams "dodgy." But I know that as normal as our situation is to us, it is objectively not the norm for a married couple.

My second question in one evening. Thank you all for your help! You guys are the best.

My husband and I have been married for one year and are submitting our AOS application this weekend. He is the USC and I am the foreign spouse.

We've were together 2 years before we were married. Our evidence of a joint life is strong. Our financial assets are mixed, we have joint credit cards and phone bills, and evidence of a great wedding/celebration with (choosing only a few select photos from that was so hard! I had to be talked out of submitting the entire album!). We know everything about each other. Everything. And neither of us are closer to anyone else in the world, and never have been. We are literally like one person.

With one exception: we don't live together. We have separate addresses in close proximity in the same city.

Until we started this process, it didn't even cross our minds that this would be an issue, since it is so normal to us. We hired a lawyer to help us with our application, after realizing it was the reddest of red flags. The thing is, we can't live together. Not while we live in a city where apartments are about the size of a shoe box. There's a medical reason behind this, and we have a very long and detailed doctor's report (from a doctor who has experience in immigration experience and "atypical" arrangements), laying out all the reasons why. My mind was put at rest by the medical professional, until I read some topics on here that say that even religious beliefs aren't enough to combat the living together requirement. Surely, religious beliefs are more serious than medical issues?! So in that vein, are we screwed?!

The situation is driving us both a bit mad. We're a married couple and we conduct our lives as such. Always together, in constant communication during the working day when we're not together, my husband and my family are extremely close, and our friends are one solid unit. We spend so much time in the apartment in his name, that I could answer ANY question about it (and his living habits) easily. The thing is, we just sleep in different places most nights, after spending days/evenings together. And we were honest about that on our forms -- we have different legal addresses. That has never made us feel any less than married, until this. I hate that USCIS has the ability to make you feel so invalid.

Any thoughts?

Thanks all. Should I file it on my own (not through the lawyer) when I get my NOA1, since he's said he won't do it? Do you think it will be obvious to him that I applied for it, or will the updates be interpretable as the EAD card being processed? Does that make sense? Not that he can really do anything after all the papers have been submitted of course, but we were hoping to use him to consult with to prep for our interview. I'd prefer not to damage the relationship!

His words were, to the effect of: "USCIS issues documents to everyone who applies, whether or not they are eligible or legally able to use them. You are not eligible. Our office NEVER files frivolous petitions. You are not eligible for advance parole."

I have to say, the severity of the response did spook my husband a little bit (though my initial reaction was what an idiot, lol).

Hi all,

Long time lurker, and this is my first question. My husband and I are finalizing our I-130-I485 application, and hope to send everything off in the next couple of days. He's the citizen, and I am the foreign spouse.

I have read 100s of the topics on here that relate to getting/using AP during this process, but I still have some questions and was wondering if anybody could help me out. First, I have an overstay. A fairly long one. My last (legal, inspected) entry to the US was in June 2012. Because of this, we hired an attorney to help us with the paperwork and coach us through the process, rather than do it ourselves.

It had been my intention all along to apply for both EAD and AP. However, the attorney who is helping us has refused to submit the application for AP as I am ineligible due to my overstay. The way I previously understood it, was that AP was granted to essentially everyone who applies, and that although there is of course risk in using it to travel abroad while your application is pending, that technically a departure with advance parole doesn't trigger the bans and you should be allowed back in.

The attorney we are using just won't entertain this idea. I really don't like it though. I want to apply and have the AP in hand just in case anything happens at home between now and me being approved for my GC. I don't have any plans to go home before I get my GC (I've waited this long!), but I want it as backup in case I need to tend to my family or in case something happens. I'm not a risk taker, but if my choice in that situation is between (1) having to leave and have a 10% chance of getting back in as I have a valid AP document, and (2) having to leave and having zero chance to get back in as I will have abandoned my petition by leaving, it is surely a no brainer?

Aside from this disagreement, the attorney has been great and helpful. My husband is leaning toward following his advice and to not apply for AP, but he said he will support whatever I choose to do. What are your thoughts on this? And, how possible would it be to just file that form myself anyway (would my attorney know since he is entering a notice of appearance on our behalf)?

Thank you so very much in advance.