CAPRICEJAH

On 4/25/2017 at 9:13 AM, Penguin_ie said:

****** This is a mod reminder to stay civil, and end the bickering.  Post constructive advice for the Op or do not post, admin action will be next. ******

Just wanted to write a update. I want to Thank the ones for the great advise. I Did get a chance to talk to my mayor and he  had the electric company to send him another notice. He has 30 days to respond. If not.....I will let it stay just like it is. After I explain to him about my issue with the deposit and losing my old deposit. He said he made sure they have noted that my ex will not be able to turn anything off.  He can take his nane off, but no authority to turn anything off.  I am fine with that.  I have no intention on moving, nor opening new accounts.  No more worrying about his nane.  If late, or skip a payment, it will reflect on both of our credit report. I wouldn't do that.  I know some of you saw this not a big deal,  until you have to deal with it....I pray you don't.  A peace of mind is priceless.  Now case closed👍

1 hour ago, Lemonslice said:

Utility companies have people move and forget to disconnect, people die, people run away from apartments ALL THE TIME .  Switching an account to another name is usually not a problem (with tenants, I've done it dozens of time as they forget to notify all providers that they're moving out), provided you give them what is required (in this case, it seems they're asking her a security deposit, which she's refusing/unable to pay).   Sadly, divorces and separation are costly - money, energy, emotions...

I know what you mean about people leaving without paying.  I have never/would never do that. Those same people lose their security deposit, and this is in some cases put on your credit report. That's just not something I would do.  That will at times affect you from getting a job. Most companies check your credit report.  Here in my town if your family dies, you will have to bring a death certificate to turn the utility off.   Some people don't care how it will affect their life. My credit. affects my car insurance, home insurance, your credit period.  

1 hour ago, Boiler said:

Agree the whole thing is both weird and nothing to do with Immigration.

 

I would have thought most posting on this thread have had to set up new accounts when moving. No biggie.

Not sure what account you are referring to.  I didn't move.  He lives in another state.   He probably has his own bills and deposit.  He was added to my account. K1 is showing joint accounts,  other things.   I will get this done one way or another.  You think this is weird, if you only knew...lol

1 hour ago, Ebunoluwa said:

OP said she had this account for many years but added him to it to show co mingling for the K1.
Now they won't take him off. It has always been her account.
I did not address any joint utility accounts either, never crossed my mind, just financial accounts.
I took my ex off my utility account without any problems, some towns make this difficult.
 

I really thought it would be easy.  Had this account for years.  Even when they said all he had to do was sign and return. I really thought no problems.....this is crazy.  The joint account wasn't hard to closed. I talk to the bank about my situation and it was over.  I am determined now more than ever get this done. I will update later today. Crossing finger.

1 hour ago, Ebunoluwa said:

OP, do as advised and contact the commander and/or a pro bono attorney OR pay the bill, close the account and
get a deposit for a new account (you may be able to transfer the previous deposit to the new one.
Show them evidence that he called to cut off your service.

Block the Ghana numbers.
You may never know why he is not taking his name off, he may be clueless on how things work here in regards to

utility companies.
Glad you moved on, sorry you had to go through this and it's ok to vent about this, it's frustrating to have a cling -on
messing up your name and credit.
 

Thank you. I was told that if I show them the final divorce decree I could be able to do it, later I wss told I was misinformed. He would have to sign off. That was the only reason it wasn't written in. Other than that I wss happy to sign my divorce papers.  Like a weight off my shoulders. They sent him several emails because he is in another state.  He will not sign it.   I was like F it. I will Just. Continue to pay the Bill. I am on call 24/7 on my job. My children are home at times alone. To call the electric company to have my power Switch off while my kids  are there along is Just low down.  I will get this done.  Again this was one things of many since the divorce.  I am getting back on track,  He has tried to mess up my credit and my name.  Determine to get this done.  

12 minutes ago, yatsek said:

No, I call it "persecution complex". So now you claim he or his buddies are calling you from Ghana? And how do you know it was him who called the electric company?

Ok.....lol. I don't have any friends nor family in Ghana.  This was my home number. His family would always call my home number. All my family and friends call me on my cell number. I know it was him, because here in the U.S. we don't have power cuts every five minutes and your name have to be on the bill to place an I order to cut it off. I thought you would know this....unless this is not where you were born or never had anything I'm your name.

1 hour ago, dawning said:

 

According to her he is.  It may leave him open to liability, but depending on the company's policy, it might also give him a voice in the services she receives.  I don't think it's unreasonable of her to be concerned, especially since she is describing someone who was not very forthcoming with her throughout their relationship.

 

OP, I think the advice you've been given to seek pro bono legal counsel and other advice from non-profits might be a very good start.  Or as someone else said, save up for a deposit for a new account.  I assume you would get something back from a deposit on the old account?

Thank you❤  I am working on it now.  Sometimes you have to vent.  These 3 years have been hell. I haven't even talk about half of the things I had to deal with. I Thank everyone for their comments. The good, bad, and the ugly.  One thing I can say that my ex has made me a stronger person.  

59 minutes ago, yatsek said:

Is he?? or has he moved on and ceased all contact with her. Leaving his name on the bills opens him to liability, so he should be worried not her.

Is this another fan? You say him calling the electric company moving on? Stange numbers from Ghana all times of the night/morning moving on?  He is not moving on when he refused to take his name off my bills?  This man is not worried about his nane because I always pay my bills.  Moving on means stop playing games.  I will find a way to get it off.  I also believe in my country.  Nothing I could/would do compares to what he is dealing with. In God we trust.

1 hour ago, Coco8 said:

You should try to find free legal advice. There non profit organizations that help women in your situation for free. Maybe you need to talk to someone beyond what you are sharing here (e.g. if he hid money, was it to avoid paying you during the divorce? Is he supposed to pay child support?).

 

I would be mostly worried if there are bills he is supposed to pay that have your name on them, because they could affect your credit score.

 

If his name is on utility bills you pay, they whenever you don't pay them on time, is going to be affecting his credit score. So more bad karma to him. If you rent, maybe the owner of the property can do something about the name on the bills, but I wouldn't worry. 

 

You don't want his name on any of your bank accounts. 

 

I totally agree. I closed the joint account.  The money was sent to Ghana and other places/people.  I am slowly getting myself out of debt

 His name is off my vehicles.  Have extra protection on my credit/social security number, change passwords. Block all the calls that come from Ghana at random times in the morning.  Today I finally have someone who will talk to our mayor......this too shall pass.  My frustration became motivation.  

44 minutes ago, Cruise77 said:

Note my answer above.  The easiest way to do this is pay them off then open your own accounts.  The old ones will just fall to the wayside.  As it sounds like he just wants to move on with his life. 

I would love to move on, but I am out so much. Thousand of dollars in credit card debt.  When is enough, enough?   I had to get extra protection because someone was trying to get credit card in my name. Never thought I would be thankful for bad credit...I will see tomorrow what my friend talk to the mayor about.  To try to get my electricity turn off,  Is that a man who is trying to move on?

2 hours ago, mrtravel said:

The basis for citizenship in this case appears to be military service

So, that is a bit different than if he got citizenship based on marriage.

The best thing to do would to get him removed from the bills.

I recommend legal advice for this if he refuses.  Legal aid services might be available to help.  I do not understand why the power company will not remove him if they are divorced and he no longer is at that address.  I would at least try to contact someone higher up in management.

I have accepted he Is a citizen. I don't understand  the point of not taking his name off and I will try everything, not to contact his commander.  A friend of mines said they will talk to our mayor for me. I will know tomorrow what to do. No matter what anyone say, it's so unfair to have to deal withh this mess of trying to protect your social security, bank accounts, life from someone you trusted with all your personal information. I know it could happen in any marriage, but it's so hard when the man you married can make up documents from another country. 

2 hours ago, piff said:

citizenship may be taken away easily if the person came to this country with visa fraud, the basis for citizenship will annual the citizenship itself.

I really just want him off my bills, and wondering why would he not want to take it off. As far as his citizenship. That's is not up to me. I am sure there will be many days he will wish he stayed in Ghana. These street are not praved in gold, and we have to work hard.  Only the strong survive. 

2 hours ago, Hope&Love said:

you sounded like Danielle from 90 days fiancé. Just pay the damn bill and move on!

Is it hope&Love?  or praying& hoping? You sound like I May be messing up your game.  Not sure if you are the sponsor or whatever. I wish you well on your journey.  You must be a fan of my ex...lol.  You can send me the money if you like.   I take donation. God Bless you😂😂😂😂❤✈🇺🇸

1 hour ago, Lemonslice said:

If he removed his name from the advice, some companies will still request a security deposit from you... If you really can't pay these, I would not push too hard that way.  Sorry your marriage didn't work.

 These are bills that I had for years. I have no intention of moving. I had to add him because of the K1visa.  It doesn't matter to the electric comany. One of the reason is because I received a call from my children that a worker from the electric company was at my hone to turn my electricity off due to a call from my ex.  After explaining that this man is no longer in my home( almost a year) and living in another state.  He said to try to take his name off asap because this could happen again. Thank God my children was home.  Who does things like that...smh.   My marriage wasn't meant to last.   It took me going to hell and back, but my lesson was a blessing.  Wasn't the first, nor last to deal with a Scam marriage. 

4 hours ago, Redheadguy03 said:

If he has his citizenship then you can't do much obviously. Unfortunately, it happens. 

I understand that completely. I know now that it was a blessing to me that he left. Reading others experience it could have been worst.  I was surprised at the. things he did to get that citizenship.  My thing is why not take your name off the remaining bills.  If I could pay another deposit I would, but I have two teenagers that I support.  I really thought he would just sign and go......

3 hours ago, mrtravel said:

Instead of him taking his name of the bills, why don't you take your name off them?

 

I would love to if I could afford it.  I was told that I would have to open up a new account and another deposit.  I couldn't believe it. I am from a small. town that. have their own rules.   I mange to closed the joint account, but this is crazy to me why he won't  just sign and move on.  I have manage to get almost everything back in order, but this situation.

Hello VJ, I am writing because I really need Some good advise.  I will give you a little background. I met my ex husband on Facebook.  Chatted, Skype. And talk on the phone for two years. After meeting, for only 7 days. We started the k1 journey. He arrived, Married and 16 months later. He left/abandon the marriage.  He joined the military, took his oath and became a citizen.  All this time I thought we were working on our marriage. After the second year...he never came back home to me and my children, he file for a divorce.  I was devastated. When I found out All the lies, cheating, and just low down he was because this was his plans from day one....We are now divorce. This man now will not take his name off my bills. I tried giving them my divorce decree, but I was told he has to sign off on them. They have sent him 3 emails to sign. He irgore

them.  Meanwhile he is on every dating site you can name. What can I do?  Is it a visa issue why he want his name to remain on my bill? I know he will be sending for his child, /child mother, and his parents. Our divorce was final after the third year anniversary.  I knew that I had to educate myself, even if I found Out too late about the military and citizenship. His different religion, the cheating and hiding money.  He doesn't respond to My calls, emails, even trying to contact him on our old VJ profile. He has changed everything.  Jahk18 was Our old profile(He blocked me Out a long time ago. Should II be worried?   

On 12/8/2015 at 5:35 AM, jahk18 said:

My post was to provide answers to people who aint sure they can noin the military with 2-yr GC not YOU!! It's sad that we have people like you here who have nothing positive to say but to cast doubt and see things with myopic lenses from what people post here. So any foreigner who joins the U.S military does so for papers? I could still live my civilian life and still get my naturalization cos am still married to my wife.

*In anycaes, everybody joins the military for a reason including U.S citizens. Most of them I met is because of students loans. Are you not doing your present job for a reason? What not any other job than what u doing now? Moreover, signing to join the US Army isn't a guarantee that u gonna graduate. So many people couldn't make it but I have made it. To serve the best Army in the world and be part of the 1% or 2%/of the people serving is enough satisfaction for me.

Thank you NLR. A word to a wise is enough.

When you wrote this post, wasn't you. Being too defensive?  I thought you and your American wife wss  separated .. I Guess you can  abandon your wife and still join the military to attain citizenship..  

Do anyone know if an immigrant that have received an American Citizenship ever been deported back to their country due to Marriage Fraud?

I totally agree that if its just a marriage gone wrong, just get a divorce(before he drain you of your bank account and dignity). In my case I collected tons and tons of evidence. My soon to be ex was also teaching family members and friends how to come here via the k1 visa, how to get your mate to put you out or divorce(trying to report abuse by their mate) writing down and recording every detail. He also taught many how to marry and join the military....then divorce. As he boast on VJ. THE QUICKEST WAY TO OBTAIN CITIZENSHIP. I was blessed to have friends who help me get in contact with the right people.. I have mailed all my evidence, including FB messages to other women, fake profiles with different names during our marriage and after our separation, membership to dating sites, and sworn statements from the women he was involved with. I have pictures and messages of him trying to hookup women to men from Ghana for a fee.. Also hidden money he is sending via friends to a private bank account(not paying taxes on this money) He is now back in Ghana(vacation after filing for divorce and getting his citizenship) Making plans to bring his child and her mother. If you think that you are a victim of a fraud marriage. You must have evidence, Just know that the decision is not up to you, but immigration and homeland security. Accept it and move on. That's okay, Just knowing that in the end karma is a B...... Some marriages are real, and I pray that the real ones will have a short journey to be with their loved ones. Take care

Oh, Shelinny... he has already been dishonest with you from the first moment, when he met you using a fake profile. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Yes, there are real relationships coming out of every country including Ghana, but this one has ALL the red flags. As others have said, including the one who started this thread, it is extremely rare for a man from sub-Saharan Africa not to want children. I lived there for a year and never once met such a man. I was uniformly greeted with something like pity because I don't have children yet, from both men and women, and was urged to do so. While the cultures are not the same in every country and ethnic group, that seems to be a constant. The purpose of marriage is to have children; in fact the purpose of LIFE is to have children, and provide for them. I'm not kidding, there are even many Catholic priests who have semi-secret families.

It's one thing if a man already has some children and says he doesn't want more from his new wife, but I would even greet that with suspicion.

If a man was known to be infertile, he might have trouble finding a wife in his own community and THAT man might be interested in a bona fide marriage with a woman who couldn't have children either. (It would be rare to know this unless the man had had some kind of severe accident or disease that caused obvious damage.) That's a rare exception I can think of.

People sometimes ask me if my husband had wanted to come to the US before we met. I tell them, I would consider it a red flag if he'd told me he never wanted to and was only willing to move to be with me. I think the majority of the younger generation has at least considered it, and in my experience, think they would want to immigrate to the US--at least on some level. It's also a lot of pressure to put on a relationship, for one person to change continents and cultures and leave their entire family behind for the sake of one person. I'm happy that my husband is also looking forward to career and educational opportunities here, in addition to continuing our life together and starting our family.

I wish you the best of luck in life but hope that you will seriously rethink this. The process is so expensive and that's just the fees you pay at various steps--nothing compared to the difficulties that can come up if someone comes to the US for fraudulent purposes.

Shelinny this is so true.....When they say they never wanted nor thought about the U.S. and only coming because of you.....run don't walk away. Also remember that not everyone will tell you what they are dealing with. I just hope that you continue to stay on VJ and know that we share our testimony to help you and others.

Relationships always have to be proven and a marriage certificate is not enough, not sure what you are talking about,

no matter how long they were married.

The chances of him getting a visitor visa is 99% a no go. Instead of throwing money away for a B2 application, save and go to

Ghana and marry if he is still the 'one' after living with him for an extended time. You are rushing this, it is way too soon after a few

months. Get to know, really know this guy. Follow your heart but take your brain with you ! Feelings are just feelings and reality

can hit you hard if you aren't careful. If someone shows you who they are believe them, that includes being dishonest and lying

from day one. People don't just change over night because you are so special, they want papers and tell you everything you

want to hear and promise to give you the stars from the sky.

If you get fancy love letters, enter a few sentences in google, chances are they already have been used up by scammers.

I don't know you or him and do not want to judge but give you a little warning to be very careful due to what transpired

with his profile. Do not send any money if he requests it. If he resists skyping and answering the phone kick him to the curb.

Hope you find what you are looking for.

I agree 100%. You only known this guy for a couple of months and not sure if you have visit him, but make plans to do so. Live with him a couple of months....experience his lifestyle. Get to know him better. Personally I could not live where my husband is from, but maybe you can. Please listen to the advise you are giving....it beat having to get a attorney and trying to get out of situation/mess you will be getting yourself into. Letters, phone calls, Skype, and a short visit will not reveal the real person you want to commit yourself to for a lifetime.

I don't have to defend myself. I didn't do anything wrong except trust him. Inl just found all this out in the last 2 weeks. He and I went to Costa Rica together on May 265th and the day before we were supposed to come back.( June 1).he told me he isn't coming back. Then he said he was ..then he wasn't.I came home alone and he said he would fly back on June 20th. During those three weeks..he said he would be back 100 times..then sent a message for me to forget him and he wasn't returning..then got a call the19th saying he will be back the next day and that he loves me. Then he never went to the airport. I received a text saying he wouldn't be back. That's when I started asking questions. Seems I was the only one who didn't know. there is more to the story.

Btw. Infidelity is not something I signed up for. I was completely into the marriage. He used me to get a greencard. Say what you want. It was fraud. I don't want comments on whether it was fraud or not. I want info on a divorce.

I totally know how you feel, and know you are hurt. The healing will begin once you file for a divorce. Take time to think about your next step. I know you want a divorce but never make any decisions until you calm down and know that he is not coming back. Don't talk to him while you are in this state of mind. Right now your mind know that he is not coming back, but give your heart time. Not talking about a month or months, but a couple of weeks. Talk to your daughter. if you have a strong family support let them help you. Right now is not the time to try to do this on your own. Trust and believe he is probably not trying to make any major moves. Listen to the advise of your VJ group. Trying to report a fraud marriage is hard. My friend did this and was told if he got into trouble it will be on his report. Even with my situation, I couldn't/wouldn't say that word. I truly believe that God plans are far better than anything immigration could do to him. Take time and try to rest your mind. Think it out before any action. God Bless

Some people are so heartless you know have to forget about him and move on with your normal life till you find someone that God has for you am so sorry about your situation how I wish I can punch him in the face ???????? don't worry God will pay him back good luck

Jemal deen, I am at a better place now. Getting stronger and I know God is watching over my family. Please never lower yourself to his level(by punishing him) We will leave it up to God.

Happens a lot ! Friends will beg friends to introduce them to USC women for papers.

Just this morning I saw a text to someone begging for that. It's crazy.

They want broken hearted ladies ready to visit Ghana or whatever their country is.

Many pass names around for those ready for the plucking.

Out of the blue comes the next knight in shining armor wanna -be and there goes the sequel.

USC thinks it must be fate on how they met but in reality it is all part of the plan to hook each other up.

Happens in all high fraud countries but I have seen it personally in West African countries in internet shops

and from people that were near me. I also was asked numerous times if I have a USC friend that I can introduce to them.

Crazy I say ! Just be watchful and observe and don't fall too hard too soon.

When I visit him in Ghana all of his friends wanted to know if I had a friend for them. He even joked about writing a book and selling it in Ghana......now I wonder about it all.

My friend, who is from Senegal by the way, said the same thing. She said that her friends, cousins, neighbors and such have asked her to introduce them to a USC. They don't say a nice, loving woman, from this to that age, a specific religion or anything like that, they just want anyone. They could be 55 years old, can't have kids, different religion, even a different race, and all of a sudden this young 25 year old is all of a sudden in love, and can't wait to be with the love of his life in America. They don't care what they have to say, they don't plan on being with that person anyway, they just want a GC. It's so sad. Beware !!!

Yes, after my experience I have research so much about this. I can't say I wouldn't do it again. I will say that I will heed the red flags that was all in my face. I really enjoyed my trip to Ghana. The people are wonderful. I can even say that he has some family that I know are truly humble and would be shame of the person he has become. When he arrived here the FB pictures disappeared. Not one picture of us together. The change of the password, the new phone, every conversation in his local language.......just so sad and disappointed