Dave-Bhel

That's why I said a percentage of your income to put towards the bills. Neither one of you should have to contribute everything you make unless your bills are more than what you made and that's a totally different issue. What I found works best in the past is start with a percentage say 75% of each of your income. If you notice that the bank account is growing and you can lower it and if you notice that it keeps going down you can raise that percentage. Eventually you will find a number that works where you know what to contribute and then you know what is yours. Oftentimes you can actually have your payroll direct deposited to multiple accounts based on this percentage. That way the money going into your account is yours and the money that goes into the family account you know has gone to bills. Being that it's a marriage you should both have access to that bill paying account. It might sound like a cold way to do it but in the end it relieves the stress from both of you and what's left over you can have fun with. I had also told you if you are looking for somebody to just take care of you there are guys out there that will do that. You will always have to bring something to the relationship some guys will not expect you to bring Financial Adams to the relationship. It really comes down to where you want to go from here if you want your marriage to work then there things you can do towards that. If he really isn't what you want life is too short to be miserable find a situation that makes you happy.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

I really don't recall anybody saying that. but it's not uncommon for two people to work together to pay the bills in a household. The amount of money should be relative to how much you make, of course the person who makes more should pay more it's working together as a team to have a life together. I am of course assuming that you want a life with this person, if you don't then get out and find somebody that will offer you what you're looking for. If you decide to leave the marriage make sure you find somebody that is what you're looking for and you're what they are looking.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

Alright I'm going to try to chime in on this. Hi I'm Dave, I came into this looking for a partner that would be a homemaker. I'm a field service engineer, have a great job that I love, and the job has a great package of benefits. I'm also a single parent of three girls, take care of my 89 year old mother and own a 300 year old family home in Vermont. All of that equals an overwhelmed David in need of a partner who is loving, caring, and wants to build a home for the relationship. Each of us comes into this with expectations, hopefully knowing what we're looking for. It's important that we just don't stop at the first pretty face, yes Bhel is absolutely the most beautiful girl I have ever met but she's also everything else on the list I was looking for. in time Bhel may want to find a job but it's not a priority for us. Right now we're kind of looking at this as a June and Ward Cleaver thing.
My question for the OP is, when you came into this, were their expectations that you would work and pay half the bills? It's not an uncommon thing, I know many couples that operate this way. I know many happy couples that have it worked out to a percentage of their base salary that is put into a family account and the rest goes into their individual accounts. So that the bills get paid and they each have some money based on how much they work and other factors that the couple works out. If you came into this understanding that he wanted a working partner and now you're unhappy with the situation you shouldn't have entered into the situation in the first place.
Now if you entered into this thinking that you would be a housewife and the situation changed it sounds like something for marriage counseling. Situations do change, it may be possible he felt you weren't doing your end of the bargain so now he is expecting you to financially contribute . Given if this is the case then the domestic duties should be equally shared. Arrangements should be reached so you're not contributing 100% of your salary to the relationship and have some money for your personal needs . It doesn't mean that the relationship has to be cold, it can be hotter than ever. With the needs met the two of you can have fun together with what's left over at the end of the day . I've had girlfriends that have said they wanted to be Susie Homemaker and then would sit on Second Life all day while I was at work so I know it can drag you down.
I suppose another scenario would be that you fully expected to be a princess, to be taken care of and catered to in exchange for something that he felt you would be offering to the relationship. I can understand that, I tend to be that kind of guy that wants to treat his girl like a princess but I try to temper this with the reality of life. It's entirely possible that you had visions of setting on a silken pillow while he worked all day to bring home dinner for you. I've seen this type of relationship work too, but remember both parties have to bring something to the bargaining table. Think back to what it was you offered in exchange for the life you thought you were getting. It may be time to remind him of what you bring to the table. This type of relationship only works with crystal clear expectations, communication, and often a contract.

No friends there, the agency she got the job through is closed, and the family she worked for has moved out of the country.

Good morning everyone, I and Bhel are here is our room at the Lotus Garden getting ready for our interview at 9 am wish us luck as we do the same for all of you.

Love is a great treasure, it would be amazing to me if it helped one person. It is hard when you realize your other half is on the other side of the planet, so finding a community in the same boat is a blessing. As love struck as we are we had our first sleepless night last night but are feeling better now.