#@!!*

Falling on tacks doesn't make you a wrestler. Ric Flair has all the right moves.

Wooooo!

All the right moves? Wasn't that a really bad Tom Cruise movie? Why would you admit to having that movie in your collection?

In the same way that bud is supposed to be the king of beers?

I see. Does this mean that women need medication to hang with you?

Wooooo!

Why ask why? When you shop for Flair the ladies always buy.

Wooooo!

Does this make you a ho?

Does this one count?

Wow. You DO care!

Woooooo!

It's okay buttercup. (pats Ric Flair on the head...the one on top of his shoulders) Do you need to go boom boom?

ARGH! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!

I was thinking the exact same thing on my way home from work. As a matter of fact, I got the placecards at Office Depot too. Which ones did you get, we got the white ones with the platinum edge. If I find anything (looking for matching tags at the moment) would you like me to post it for you?

My sister wanted me to order some weird mixture of substances. Something along the lines of tall decaf vanilla soy milk cappuccino with one-and-one-half shots of sugar free hazelnut syrup, shaken not stirred with whipped cream, and three other requirements tagged onto the order. My eyes sort of glazed over after soy milk cappuccino and I began to babble quietly to myself. She wound up ordering the drink herself and confusing the barista. My sister is cool.

I am not a big fan of winking I must admit.

I, however, am a fan of the winky.

You could smack her and then blame it on another co-worker who hypnotised you and gave you subliminal suggestions to do it. You could send her a bondage apple through inter-office mail, anonymously of course. Superglue her phone to the base so she cannot use it. Give a co-worker a dollar to kick the ####### out of her. Poke her in the eye so she has to take time off from work. Build a fortress of solitude around her cubicle. I'm coming up with plans for two co-workers. One of them continuously cracks her gum and the other is always clearing her throat so loudly that you can hear her 50 ft away. I think I am going insane.

Or you can play Kitten Cannon.

http://www.funny-games.biz/kitten-cannon.html

Apologies for the diversion here....

Hi LisaD, I found this for you. Not saying that you are a biyatch of course, but I thought you might get a kick out of it. I don't know if it has been posted before....

Any luck yet globetrotter?????

I am keeping you in my thoughts. I hope that they give you your interview soon!!!!

It said that I was 60% evil, but I didn't like that very much. I went out, kicked some puppies and committed crimes and now I am 100% evil.

I used to really like Racer X from Speed Racer. I hated the rest of the characters, but Racer X was dreamy. Something about a man in black leather....

I think my old response was 'deal with it, azzhole'

Mine was "Why thank you, thank you very much. So kind of you to notice."

Re: the original post. I hate that ####### too. Annoys me to no end, makes me want to go out and kick a small stuffed animal. I also hate those "send this to 15 women that you know so you will all be filled with the woman spirit" things. Last time I got one of those, I sent it back to the sender eight times, and for good measure I sent is seven or so times to another friend who sends me them. One of them stopped sending them, the other one warns me what the mail is about.

That child looks like he is about to eat that man's brains for dinner.

Heina,

Perhaps the pisshead wanted to ask you for an antibacterial handwipe to clean his hands after he finished? Hygiene is our friend.

cake

Who said anything about getting sick? Getting drunk doesn't automatically equal getting sick.

i can assure you from personal experience that baskin robbins ice cream and german beer don't mix

Neither does 3/4 a bottle of vodka, some Capt Morgans, some undetermined lager, coffee, chocolate, and perhaps some fries from Wimpy Burgers. The word diabolical springs to mind. I remember a conversation regarding the merits of mint green thermals on a cold nite vs the standard grubby white ones.

Hmm. Then there was the time my friends and I went out on a She-Woman Man Hater's Club nite (the guys were on a He-Man Woman Hater's night. We of course went to an L-7 gig, where we proceeded to have men flex their arms and then turn around and bend over to show us their backsides (clothed of course, we weren't pigs )

coffee flavored coffee eh?

i had a green tea at lunch to even out the buzz

Do you think that might calm you down enough for more coffee?

Side note: What he couldn't see in the picture was that I, being quite drunk, had leaned over a candle earlier in the night and set fire to my #######. Ok, so just the dress actually suffered damage, but there is a small hole now in my vintage 1960's polyester minidress that I planned on wearing again this year. To be honest this is all hearsay as I don't remember setting myself on fire nor do I remember how I was put out. I'm trusting one of Craddy's friends were nice enough, in just this instance, to feel me up.

Just a fun side note for the week. Polyester, alcohol and candles do not mix. AVOID Joey's caramel apple shots, I took down more than just myself that night.

Joey

While I have never actually set fire to my #######, I can see the widom in your advice. I managed to melt a nice quarter-sized hole in our carpet with a halogen bulb last year. My poor now non-existant security deposit!

Congrats to the both of you! And thank you for the information.

#@!!*

Does other peoples reactions to your British accent drive anyone else mad??!! I can't even buy anything in a store without people saying stupid things to me! Just this weekend I got...

I have nothing to add to the accents conversation, but do understand your amused frustration, louandmikek3.

However, as for giving out your phone number to clerks, just politely decline to offer it, since it's rarely required to complete the sales transaction. I hate offering my number as well, and decline every single time.

Or maybe you can say something along the lines of "That's flattering and all, but I am a happily married man/woman" or "You are a bold little cupcake aren't you. My wife/husband is right here." I don't give my number out to them either, nor do I usually give out my zipcode. My sister shops enough at those places that I figure she's got the whole family covered.

I need a standing ovation smiley.

I first read that as "a standing ovary smiley". Sheesh. My eyes are off again.

Excellent post LisaD.

edited: I posted in the wrong thread....sorry