Shadowess

I highly recommend volunteering! I'm a new transplant and I was becoming depressed and angry because I went from the town I was born and raised in, with all my friends and family, my own car and my own business to sitting around in the flat by myself all day with no job, no car, and no friends.
I've recently starting volunteering at a local museum and it's been really helpful to my mood, I'm talking to new people, making new friends and it gets me out of the house for a couple hours a week.
The side benefit is it's helping me build a network and gain US experience and therefore have a US based reference for my work ethic.
It's also helping me from snapping at my husband (as much )
The thing I wasn't really prepared for was how isolating it would be. I realized one day before I started volunteering that I had gone two weeks and the only person I had spoken to was my husband (aside from the cashier asking me cash or credit) The other thing that was unexpected was that I would be desperate to go out on weekends (since I had been sitting in the flat all week) but my husband wanted to just sit around the flat all weekend since he had been working all week. So we've compromised and have one weekend in and one weekend doing some event.
I suggest looking up your local city website and then see if they have a list of volunteering opportunities. This will allow your spouse to get some US based experience, build a network and help give them some purpose.

I highly recommend volunteering! I'm a new transplant and I was becoming depressed and angry because I went from the town I was born and raised in, with all my friends and family, my own car and my own business to sitting around in the flat by myself all day with no job, no car, and no friends.
I've recently starting volunteering at a local museum and it's been really helpful to my mood, I'm talking to new people, making new friends and it gets me out of the house for a couple hours a week.
The side benefit is it's helping me build a network and gain US experience and therefore have a US based reference for my work ethic.
It's also helping me from snapping at my husband (as much )
The thing I wasn't really prepared for was how isolating it would be. I realized one day before I started volunteering that I had gone two weeks and the only person I had spoken to was my husband (aside from the cashier asking me cash or credit) The other thing that was unexpected was that I would be desperate to go out on weekends (since I had been sitting in the flat all week) but my husband wanted to just sit around the flat all weekend since he had been working all week. So we've compromised and have one weekend in and one weekend doing some event.
I suggest looking up your local city website and then see if they have a list of volunteering opportunities. This will allow your spouse to get some US based experience, build a network and help give them some purpose.

I drove across at the Port Huron/Sarnia border crossing with a Uhaul and my car towed behind it. March 2016. My fiance came with. When we got to the border I told the officer at the wicket (after giving him both my fiance and my passport) that I was activating a K1 visa. He put a magnetic cone on the roof of the Uhaul and told us to pull over to secondary inspection. There the officers told us to leave all bags and purses in the van and just bring our documents. We also had to unlock the trailer door.
We went it and were called up. I told them I was activating my K1 visa and importing my car (if you are bringing you car you need to TELL them you want to import it) They took my passport, and sealed documents (it says clearly on them to keep them sealed) and told me to sit down. The officers outside looked through one box of my stuff and asked that we removed the car cover so they could look in the back seat of the car. They came in while we were waiting and told me they had looked through one of my boxes and since it had some fragile items that I could go out and repack the box (they provided me with some tape as well)
I told them I had an inventory of all my stuff, but they said it wasn't necessary. But it's good to have this just in case. I actually numbered my boxes and then wrote the contents of each box on a piece of paper. That way if they had questions about any specific thing I could direct them to the specific box instead of having them root through everything.
I got called up and the officer asked me to confirm the information, then stamped my passport and he gave me the car importation documents and other items back (they kept the sealed documents - they had opened it as I saw my original I129F petition) Then they said welcome to the USA and we were free to go.
Overall it took about 1 1/2 hours from the time we pulled up to the border to the time we pulled away.

I drove across at the Port Huron/Sarnia border crossing with a Uhaul and my car towed behind it. March 2016. My fiance came with. When we got to the border I told the officer at the wicket (after giving him both my fiance and my passport) that I was activating a K1 visa. He put a magnetic cone on the roof of the Uhaul and told us to pull over to secondary inspection. There the officers told us to leave all bags and purses in the van and just bring our documents. We also had to unlock the trailer door.
We went it and were called up. I told them I was activating my K1 visa and importing my car (if you are bringing you car you need to TELL them you want to import it) They took my passport, and sealed documents (it says clearly on them to keep them sealed) and told me to sit down. The officers outside looked through one box of my stuff and asked that we removed the car cover so they could look in the back seat of the car. They came in while we were waiting and told me they had looked through one of my boxes and since it had some fragile items that I could go out and repack the box (they provided me with some tape as well)
I told them I had an inventory of all my stuff, but they said it wasn't necessary. But it's good to have this just in case. I actually numbered my boxes and then wrote the contents of each box on a piece of paper. That way if they had questions about any specific thing I could direct them to the specific box instead of having them root through everything.
I got called up and the officer asked me to confirm the information, then stamped my passport and he gave me the car importation documents and other items back (they kept the sealed documents - they had opened it as I saw my original I129F petition) Then they said welcome to the USA and we were free to go.
Overall it took about 1 1/2 hours from the time we pulled up to the border to the time we pulled away.

You can bring your cell phone, but they ask you turn it off fully and then you hand it to the security guard who puts it in a cubby behind the security desk and gives you a claims ticket (sort of like coat check, but for your cellphone) When you finish your interview you just hand them the ticket and they give you back your cell phone.

It's 7:40am, they are not open in the evening.

I just went for my interview at Montreal last week.
I arrived at 6:45am and there was already one guy in line, around 7am more people started to show up and by 7:15am there was a pretty long line.
Make sure you do not have a backpack, large purse, or anything like that. The security guard comes out around 7:30am and will have you exit the line and go to the Eaton Center to store your bags in the lockers there (your place is line is lost). I just had my paperwork in an accordion file and I put it and my paperback book in a shopping bag since it was snowing a bit and I didn't want things to get wet.
Also only go inside when the security guard directs you. They only let a couple people in at a time since the entry space is small.
I was first in (since the guy ahead of me had a backpack and was turned away) and I was in and out within an hour (got out around 8:30am)

Also if you are concerned about your wife to be feeling alone while you are at work, then I suggest she find some volunteer work, it will help her meet new people, help with her English (if it's poor) and get her out of the house. Here is a great resource for volunteer positions http://www.volunteermatch.org/
On the work front,
if your fiancee has any specialized skills make sure she researches local certification boards (like if she's a nurse) have her update her resume/CV and contact people she currently works with and to provide references (by email would be great) or letters of reference she can copy and provide if requested at her interview Research now about what job positions are open in her field and make sure she has all the experience necessary (upgrading skills online while waiting for her EAD) See if there are professional networking meetup in your town so she can start making professional connections If she's not on Linkedin then get on it and start finding people in your town/state in the same profession and add them Start to familiarize yourselves with the AOS/EAD/AP paperwork, start filling it out now so once you get married you just need to send it off Make sure you both have everything you need for the AOS paperwork (it's often easier to get government paperwork when you are in your home country) Also at the medical for the K1 see if your fiancee can get a copy in hand of the Vaccination Documentation Worksheet (Form DS-3025) from your Panel Physician, this saves a visit to a Panel physician in the US When you get married ask if you can take your marriage licence to the courthouse/records dept/whatever it's called, if the officiant takes it they will mail it and it will take longer (2-3 weeks) where you might be able to walk it in and get your marriage certificate (make sure to get a couple certified copies when your there) right away Also while I understand that having your fiancee start work right away is important for both her personal worth/making friends/and to help support the household, do remember that she just cut ties with everything from her home, moved to a new country, left her friends and family, got married and is living with her new husband. It is a lot of change in a very short period of time and she might need some down time to take stock of everything and take some time to herself to get comfortable in her new life.
Good luck!!

OMG PLEASE don't go to the US to see him. Please don't go. He is trying to pressure you into sex and getting pregnant, also known at sexual harassment and RAPE. You do not want to put yourself at risk. If he has the emotional instability you have hinted at, the anger issues and the manipulative skills it can put you in a very dangerous situation.
I think you have resolved that this relationship isn't healthy for you. You are a lovely woman, who is obviously smart, kind, motivated and compassionate.
Going to the USA will only put you in a situation where he can manipulate you, trap you and potentially rape you. Please stay safe and stay in France.
If you want to give him "one last chance" then tell him via email or skype: "I will not come to the US until you are gainfully employed for at least a month. If you decide that looking for a job is too stressful for you then me and my concerns obviously don't mean much to you. If you 'don't want to talk about it' then you are demonstrating your lack of care for me. I deserve someone who will treat me as a equal and valued person. This relationship is over."
Don't waste your hard earned money going to visit him, he is obviously not the man for you. You are worth more than his unmotivated, unemployed, uncaring, and abusive self. Please terminate the relationship and cut all ties with him. I'm scared for your safety around this boy.
Please stay safe.

OMG PLEASE don't go to the US to see him. Please don't go. He is trying to pressure you into sex and getting pregnant, also known at sexual harassment and RAPE. You do not want to put yourself at risk. If he has the emotional instability you have hinted at, the anger issues and the manipulative skills it can put you in a very dangerous situation.
I think you have resolved that this relationship isn't healthy for you. You are a lovely woman, who is obviously smart, kind, motivated and compassionate.
Going to the USA will only put you in a situation where he can manipulate you, trap you and potentially rape you. Please stay safe and stay in France.
If you want to give him "one last chance" then tell him via email or skype: "I will not come to the US until you are gainfully employed for at least a month. If you decide that looking for a job is too stressful for you then me and my concerns obviously don't mean much to you. If you 'don't want to talk about it' then you are demonstrating your lack of care for me. I deserve someone who will treat me as a equal and valued person. This relationship is over."
Don't waste your hard earned money going to visit him, he is obviously not the man for you. You are worth more than his unmotivated, unemployed, uncaring, and abusive self. Please terminate the relationship and cut all ties with him. I'm scared for your safety around this boy.
Please stay safe.

OMG PLEASE don't go to the US to see him. Please don't go. He is trying to pressure you into sex and getting pregnant, also known at sexual harassment and RAPE. You do not want to put yourself at risk. If he has the emotional instability you have hinted at, the anger issues and the manipulative skills it can put you in a very dangerous situation.
I think you have resolved that this relationship isn't healthy for you. You are a lovely woman, who is obviously smart, kind, motivated and compassionate.
Going to the USA will only put you in a situation where he can manipulate you, trap you and potentially rape you. Please stay safe and stay in France.
If you want to give him "one last chance" then tell him via email or skype: "I will not come to the US until you are gainfully employed for at least a month. If you decide that looking for a job is too stressful for you then me and my concerns obviously don't mean much to you. If you 'don't want to talk about it' then you are demonstrating your lack of care for me. I deserve someone who will treat me as a equal and valued person. This relationship is over."
Don't waste your hard earned money going to visit him, he is obviously not the man for you. You are worth more than his unmotivated, unemployed, uncaring, and abusive self. Please terminate the relationship and cut all ties with him. I'm scared for your safety around this boy.
Please stay safe.

OMG PLEASE don't go to the US to see him. Please don't go. He is trying to pressure you into sex and getting pregnant, also known at sexual harassment and RAPE. You do not want to put yourself at risk. If he has the emotional instability you have hinted at, the anger issues and the manipulative skills it can put you in a very dangerous situation.
I think you have resolved that this relationship isn't healthy for you. You are a lovely woman, who is obviously smart, kind, motivated and compassionate.
Going to the USA will only put you in a situation where he can manipulate you, trap you and potentially rape you. Please stay safe and stay in France.
If you want to give him "one last chance" then tell him via email or skype: "I will not come to the US until you are gainfully employed for at least a month. If you decide that looking for a job is too stressful for you then me and my concerns obviously don't mean much to you. If you 'don't want to talk about it' then you are demonstrating your lack of care for me. I deserve someone who will treat me as a equal and valued person. This relationship is over."
Don't waste your hard earned money going to visit him, he is obviously not the man for you. You are worth more than his unmotivated, unemployed, uncaring, and abusive self. Please terminate the relationship and cut all ties with him. I'm scared for your safety around this boy.
Please stay safe.

Wow this topic is such a difficult one to tackle.
As someone who was in a relationship similar to yours, I can tell you that in my experience it didn't work. Now looking back I realize that it was an emotional abusive relationship. When I would visit him he was super sweet and romantic, but when I left it was controlling (told me to call him each morning to tell him what I was wearing and he would decide if it was acceptable), manipulative, and made me isolated from my friends and family. After 2 years of that I finally realized that I wasn't valuing myself and I ended the relationship
Your situation sounds similar. my thoughts to you is to either cancel or extend the visa. Have a firm talk with him and tell him that you will not come to the USA to visit, get married, anything until he has secured employment. My lovely man finished his Phd in December and only now found a job, however he would wake up each morning and apply for 3-5 jobs, search out new jobs, go to career advisers, etc. Your fiance sounds like he has no interest in becoming employed.
So I suggest:
1. Cancel or extend your visa
2. Do Not go to the USA to visit, I expect he will be super sweet and romantic while your there
3. If you do go to the USA, I recommend getting a hotel room (as previously suggested) so that you can escape from him and his family if you need to
4. Whatever you do, DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM, or if you do YOU must be in charge of any protection (are you on birth control, condoms, spermicide foam) Use the lot of it, he could possibly want to get you pregnant to "force" you to stay with him.
5. Consider taking a "break" from the relationship while you stay in France. Revisit it in a month, 3 months, however long. With this I suggest you tell him to contact YOU when he's ready to be an adult in the relationship (ie. gets a job, moves out of his mothers house, starts paying rent to his mother, actually wants to talk to you and not just play video games)
I'm so sorry about your situation, I think you should take some time and re-read YOUR posts on this topic. Try to read them as if one of your friends is explaining their situation to you. The heartbreak is very difficult to overcome, but I promise that you will be able to come out of this a stronger person.
I wish you the best of luck with your decision.