vermont77

Part 3 coming soon - may take a couple weeks to type my story line. Stay tuned folks.

Popcorn is $10.99 for a large, movie theater prices.

I think I liked it better when I was visiting my wife in the DR. Sending a chica money and visiting her country is a lot easier than having her come and live with you. I really enjoyed the exoticism of leaving my mountain home to come to a tropical country. Now, there is no exoticism. It is the daily boring grind of life.

Andy, you write beautifully. Thank you for your insight.

Cheezes, look I appreciate your sarcasm, I really do. From your threads it looks like you got burned to. I am sorry to hear that. Doesn't it feel good to wash your hands of your misery onto someone else? Keep your silly comments to yourself and play nice.

I haven't divorced her because I feel like she needs more time to see how things are done in the USA. Her cousins have been telling her how life is in NYC and she has changed some things. Her best friend told her if she has more sex with her husband, her husband will be happier and the marriage will be happier. So, the sex has been pretty good lately. I think it's going to take baby steps with her, but eventually, I hope she can figure out how life is in the USA.

She is not gonna have a baby because you were a means to an end for her. I know all too well you were in my peoples term CHAPIADO she got you to buy her all her needs here you paid for her apt in DR she prob has a boyfriend in and you got her here.

I am telling you listen for key words when she's on the phone gringo, el americano, el blankito, el estupido, anormal, bruto....some of which mean run.

Get her out quick can she prove commingling and a relationship or can she prove abuse?.. If you don't give her her 10 yr gc she will get it other ways trust me.

Didn't she wire tap you...she would have been dismissed long ago!

She is not like that. She's not scamming me for a green card.

We didn't end up separating long. We never talked about finances going into the marriage or before she came here to the USA. I talked to her about contributing money towards living expenses and she said to me "I see you are stressed and probably stressed about having a baby, so you know what? I no longer want a baby with you". She said she can go to a sperm bank if she wants to have a baby. She makes these ridiculous decisions and if I try to counter argue, she says she can leave and go back to her country. She is pleasant as sweet peas when were not having a serious conversation. We get along great, have fun together, but when it comes to making a decision or talking about our future, she doesn't have anything good to say. It's her way or the highway. So, I told her, we are going to live in this small house in Vermont forever. Unless, you want to start contributing to our future, this is our future.

I am lucky only her brother hits us up for money. Her family actually does well, most own businesses and some are nurses and 1 is a doctor. One of her brothers will knock up any woman in the DR, get her preggers and then beg for money. The poor guy works as a security guard for 35 cents US an hour, so I will throw him 50 bucks here and there, not as a loan, because he will never pay me back. I am lucky in that regard, that nobody from her family asks for money. BUT, when I come to the DR on vacation, It's pretty much expected that I pay everything, food, beer when I go out with her family.

Me and my wife from the DR married Sept. 2015 in the USA on a k1 visa. She didn't get her work permit until March 2016. In the meantime, she really helped a lot with my business from home. She cooks for me, cleans, just does everything...until it comes to money. I didn't pay her much because she wasn't an employee. She helped the business because that is my "our" main income. This is the way I was able to spend the thousands to get her here to marry me and live with me. I flew to the DR many times, stayed at nice hotels, traveled, took her shopping, got her an apartment. She wasn't working at the time. Mysteriously, she lost her job 1 week after we met. They laid her off. She was a secretary for a large company. I know that secretaries are usually not the 1st to be laid off. Good secretaries are hard to find. She was paid peanuts but she worked for the company for 7 years. Anyways, this gets to where I am going with this. She actually expected me to give her a paycheck every week while she was helping 'my business'. Don't worry about the $20,000 I spent getting to know her and her travels to the US OF A. Don't worry about my mortgage, utilities, phone, car payment, health insurance. Excuse me...but life here in the 'greatest country on earth' is not free.

I always made sure she had some cash in her purse. What woman likes to go downtown and not have a $100 or so in her purse. I bought her clothes, shoes, winter clothes, the whole 9 yards. Fast forward a few months, her aunt passed in March 2016. She had to fly down for the funeral, which is 7 days of mourning. Here in the USA we have a wake, funeral, after-get-together and that is it. In the DR, culture is to mourn and celebrate for 7 days. She also needed to get a tooth implant replaced. She told me it would be cheaper getting this done in the DR. It ended up not being cheap. I had to pay for an apartment we no longer needed, her food, dental costs and her share of the 7 days of mourning. Imagine providing food for every John, ####### and Mary that came into your house to mourn her aunt. Half of these people didn't even know the lady, they just came for the free drink and food. Anyways, lesson learned...she stayed 30 days and came back. This was in the height of a New England winter, which is generally brutal cold. She never left her country before so I could understand this being her first winter, her body couldn't handle it. She knew where I lived. I told her way before she came to the states, that honey...I live in the country in Vermont. Here cold in the winter has a different meaning. She is so cute, she always said "I'd rather have it cold than blistering hot". We had a pleasant first part of winter and everyone kept telling her 'you haven't seen anything yet'. Needless to say, the heating costs were double this winter with my wife present. I never complained. I wanted her to be comfortable. It was an oven inside the house.

Ok, so...let's get to the point now right? Fast forward to April, 2016, she is back and now its time to get a job. Her English isn't bad, but it's not great either. I had her taking free English classes here but she dropped out after 5 of them. She knows enough English to work in a factory or do housekeeping, but cashier or secretary, probably not. We started getting applications. It turned into a hobby, she got an application from almost everywhere that had a now hiring sign. We had maybe 50 of them stacked up on the kitchen counter. Did they ever get filled out? Nope. I offered to fill them out for her, but she never showed any interest in actually filling them out. It was to much work. Well, a break came through, big break. My neighbor knows the general manager of a local hotel and he said she is looking for housekeepers, full-time. I take her to the interview, she gets hired and starts working 3 days later. She doesn't have a license in the USA, so I bring her to and from work, it's a 40 mile trip both ways. She needed to work. We were both going crazy being at home 24/7 together.

She has been working now almost 3 months and she has been promoted. Her boss loves her, she is a hard worker and stays until the last room is completed. Most of the other housekeepers call out on a daily basis with the same excuses. Some don't even show up, but she barrels through and works hard.

Now, her 1st paycheck. I told her, here in the USA we have to pay taxes. Expect 15-17% of your wages to go to the local and federal government. Back in the DR, they don't take taxes out. They don't pay you very much either, but it is also not a 1st world country. I don't like paying taxes any more than the next person, but I pay them. I don't want to go to prison. She gets her first paycheck and her mentality now is she is working for free. Haha, right, I feel the same way. I own a small business and pay thousands of dollars in taxes. Welcome to the USA.

Here is my dilemma: She still does everything around the house - cooks, cleans etc, but she won't contribute towards bills. We want to move into a larger house and possibly have a baby, but I don't make enough to do this on my own. I give her examples like my brothers who are married. It takes 2 incomes to build a life together. I don't want to seem biased to her country. She comes from a country, where the government doesn't care about its people. They don't earn much but they also don't pay taxes. They don't contribute anything to building the country. Here our streets are paved, we have social services. In the DR, you need to pay for everything. Streets are in miserable shape, parks are rarely cleaned. Her mentality is "I worked hard for this money and I don't want to part with it" or she will say "You were paying the mortgage before I came. You were paying the car payment, light bill, phone bill etc etc". Why do I need to pay it? If you were paying it already. She doesn't have the mindset of contributing within a marriage. Yes, she cooks, cleans and does everything around the house. I am very thankful for her hard work, and try to show her my appreciation by going on vacations with her or taking her to the mall and buying her things that she wants.

Has anyone been in this situation with your wife/husband and how did you tackle it? She pays for food, which is a big expense of $400 a month. She doesn't make much money and she is saving for a car. But, I have told her that in the USA you can save a few hundred dollars a month for your car and pay money towards bills and not have much left over at the end of the month. That is common here unless you are in he 1%.

Alicia, yeah I know you are right but I was in looney love land in my head and wanted to believe it could work. Well folks, Alicia actually met my wife in Santiago with me. I met her on VisaJourney and she was nice enough to come meet us when I flew into Santiago my 2nd trip. Made some great friends on VISAJOURNEY. I talked with my wife today and it sounds like we won't be able to save our marriage, since she basically blames everything on me and takes no responsibility for her sketchy behavior. She has agreed to go back to the DR. So, what do I need to do next after she gets on the plane? File the papers to stop this process and then get a divorce?

I think the problem is that many people go through all this k-1, marriage process without even knowing where they are going to live. I'm from europe and my husband is from western Massachusetts (so pretty much like Vermont). I can say many people wouldn't want/like to live in this type of environment. Very isolated, super cold for many months, long hours of drive to go anywhere, long hours to commute to work (unless wanting to work in a grocery store for minimum wage), it's definitely not easy and not for many people.. she was probably dreaming the america she saw on tv and then realized that the reality is very very different.

I told her where I lived. I sent her photos of my house, the yard, sent her video tours of the town I live in. I live in the country but only 10 minutes from a college town. She is from the 3rd largest city in the DR. I live in the country. I love the country. I like dirt roads and less people. She likes big cities. She visited her sister in Manhattan and fell in love with it. Here, there are maybe 2 Dominicans. I am sorry, But I did not mislead her. I told her straight up...I live in the woods. There are no Dominicans here. You won't be speaking Spanish all day to people you see on the street. This is not washington heights Manhattan. This is Vermont. I was very clear with her and told her she should research it. She hates it here. She can't stand the weather and she has nobody to speak Spanish too. Trust me I am not insensitive. I bring her to Latin night as much as I can at a local night club. We have met Spanish speaking people here, but she isn't that friendly and people up here are kinda stubborn, so she isn't breaking through the ice meeting new friends here. I know it's hard coming from her country and trying to adapt here, but I have put in over 200% to have an easier transition.

She apparently has a trove of evidence against me and has been wire tapping me with her cell phone since day 1. She said she has recorded every argument we ever had. Today we talked about her returning to her country. I think this is the best choice and then I will proceed with cancelling this whole process out. Last week I was sending money to the Dominican Rep. for stupid stuff like: remote stopped working for the apartment gate that I never used in my entire life. Her credit card company charged her a late payment fee even tho I sent the payment in way earlier than it was due. Her cousin gave her some money, he didn't loan it to her. I asked him if I should pay him back and he said "don't worry about it bro, it's my gift to you guys"...well what do you know a month later I am sending him a few hundred dollars. It actually wasn't sent to him in NYC. It was sent to her aunt in the DR. I didn't ask him about this but I should. Her whole family thinks she is this innocent goody 2 shoes catholic girl. I should of saw the writing on the wall. My 1st trip to the DR was just an amazing time. The 2nd trip, I noticed the romance going downhill and she wasn't like she was the 1st trip. I went for a 3rd time, we argued everyday about stupid #######. The 4th trip was for the embassy interview in Santa Domingo. We actually argued so much in the luxury hotel room I purchased the night before we almost agreed on calling the whole thing off, but I didn't. I am college educated, own a small business, I know a scam when I see one. I was homeless on the streets for 2 years. I know scams. I know con-artists. I have taken every scenario we have had and dissected it. The red flags are insane. She told me she loved me after speaking for a week on whatsapp. I started paying for an apartment after the 1st week of meeting her. Apparently she was being kicked out of her aunts house and she was going to be homeless. Well I visited her nice little aunt. It turns out, her aunt never wanted her to leave because her aunt is old and sick, and she was taking care of her. She wanted her own apartment because she couldn't sleep with all the motorcycles driving by all hours of the night.

Thank you all for your tips and information. I am going to seriously consider my options over the next 2 weeks. We are married and we have filed for the AOS. She is currently living in Manhattan with her sister while we figure out how to proceed. I live in Vermont. I have told her I don't care about money. I could be homeless living in a tent with her and still be happy. All I wanted was to be with her. She's not here to get her greencard - infact she has talked about going back to her country and cancelling the entire process out. She says she hates the USA because you have to work hard for a little money. She sees me putting in 12-14 hour days working my *ss off and then the government takes 30% for taxes. In the DR, you make fish food for income but they don't take taxes out. So now her perception is - it's actually not an easy life here in the good ol' USA. I am going to talk to a divorce lawyer this week and see how to proceed.

You have three options: try to make it work, do nothing, or cancel your affidavit of support which will result in her being unable to legally stay in the US.

If you two are done and you're willing to make her go back to the DR, you have that option if her AOS hasn't been approved. You would have to contact the USCIS to have them cancel your I-864 affidavit of support. That will effectively cancel her AOS. But if you do that, she will not be able to get an EAD or adjust status to stay. And if you ended up staying together, you'd have to re-file and pay the fee again. Be sure you want to end your relationship before doing this because there's no easy way back. I'd also recommend seeing a divorce lawyer and starting to protect yourself from a VAWA accusation.

If her AOS is approved before you cancel your affidavit of support, you can be held liable if she received public assistance. And that liability lasts until she WORKS 40 quarters in the USA. That can be a long time if she doesn't like to work and can live with relatives.

If you stay together, be sure it's because you want to be together and not just for her status. At her AOS interview, they'll ask questions about your relationship. And you'll have to be honest. If they think the marriage was or is for status, they can investigate it as fraud. I don't know how often that actually happens but I know it happens. But if you're actively working to make your relationship work, even if it's a rough road, then the adjustment will be legal.

Good luck with whatever you decide. You're in a hard spot. But if you decide on getting a divorce, I'd read more of the topics in this thread. VAWA charges can wreck your reputation and be a huge headache. From how you describe your wife, I'd take precautions to protect myself.

JR, Thank you, this was very good advice. I am going to wait a week or more before I decide on my next step.

I'd appreciate legal advice. What should I do? I'd hate to send her packing. I am not trying to sound selfish, money shouldn't be an object when you are in love. I have a good job but I am by no means well-off or rich. I tried to take into consideration that she was leaving her friends and family. I enrolled her in English classes 3 weeks after she arrived. She went 5 times and then just stopped going. We literally still text on whatsapp in the same house using google translator. One of my pet peeves is she still has on her facebook that she lives in the DR. Doesn't say anything about our marriage on her facebook. 2 weeks ago I got upset with her because she posted a photo of "us" on facebook that had me cropped out of the photo. My neck and part of my shoulder was showing. One of my relatives asked me about it. She shrugged it off like it was nothing. I said to her, I am sorry hun but normal people don't do things like this. You should be proud to be my wife and not be cropping me out of pictures using the $600 iphone I bought you. She doesn't have her work permit yet and I am working from home at the moment, so being glued to each other 24/7 isn't helping. I have tried to take her on trips to other parts of the USA so she is not bored. These trips turn into shopping nightmares. She buys stuff even if she doesn't need them. I am basically a walking credit card. She has no money to her name.

VisaJourney helped me no doubt about it. The k1 visa process went well with the help of fellow members. I made some new friends from this forum. We married Sept 2015 and now we are separated. It has been a ROLLERCOASTER. She is from the Dominican Republic. I am American. We met December 2014. I flew down 4 times. We talked every day on whatsapp and phone. Her English is enough to get by on, but not enough to have a deep political conversation - if you're into that. I don't speak Spanish. Bad combo right? Haha...so blah blah, we fell in love the first trip down. It was December and freezing in the North East. I think I fell in love with the warm Dominican temperature in the winter. I was on vacation. I was drinking a lot. I was having a good time. Flash forward to the day she gets off the plane at JFK August 17...it has been quite a train ride. She is the laziest person I have ever met. Dear god the woman can sleep 20 hours a day and not be bored. I spent thousands of dollars on her, buying winter clothes, paying for the entire visa process, supporting her, paying for an apartment in the DR that we don't even use. omg. I realized that having not ever lived together longer than 10 days was a gamble to jump into living with each other full-time. I know it is a major culture shock for her to come to the USA. She has never left the DR before. The weather is different. She was sick everyday for the 1st month in August and September - mainly due to the change in weather. She made $200 a month working 70 hours a week in the DR. She knows every fashion store that has clothes that cost over 1 grand. I am boggled on how a woman who made less than $3,000 a year working as a secretary knows how good shopping can be. I spent thousands of dollars on her for clothes. She doesn't even like sales racks. She goes for the best clothes. Sorry, yes this is a rant. We argue and it gets bad. Like, you can't win an argument with a Dominican Woman. NOPE, sorry, can't be done. My 1st trip in Puerto Plata, an English guy at a bar told me he was divorced twice from Dominican women. He said to me "The best advice I can give you is to wear the pants in the relationship." How can I wear the pants when she doesn't give a **it about anything. Nothing is ever her fault. She never takes blame. She's not grateful for anything. You could buy her a $400,000 Lamborghini and she wouldn't say thank you. We were in an elevator in at a hotel in Boston and this poor crippled guy with a cane was standing next to us. When the elevator made the stop, she rushed past him first. I told her, please baby, here in the USA it is common courtesy to let the elderly and handicapped go first. She looked at me like I was speaking in tongues. When we go to the mall or anywhere in public where there is a lot of people, I am usually behind her apologizing to everyone that walks by, because she doesn't look where she is going, she will literally bump into everyone. If your in her line of walk, she will just bump you out of the way, like you don't exist. She has family in Manhattan and all along I had a feeling she would move there. I am not a big city person. She is. We have our differences. When all seems good when your on the beach drinking margaritas sitting next to a hot babe and your mind starts to wonder about how good it would be to get married to this hot babe...LIVE WITH HER FIRST. Lesson learned

I am curious, me and my wife married in September 2015 but we have had some marriage problems and we are separated for 2 weeks or more. She is staying with family in another state. Does this pose a problem for getting the greencard? How long do you have to stay married? She came here on the k1 fiance visa

Within 7 business days it should ship.

I am not sure if this is the correct forum for this question.

My fiance arrived a few days ago on the k1 visa. We are marrying Sept. 12, 2015.

When is she able to get a job here in the USA?

What does she need to work in the USA?

Thanks so much VJ peeps.

Patrick in Vermont

Thank you deedee! It went to issued today.

How do they notify you in the Dominican Republic when your k1 visa is ready for pickup?

Hi, yes I had my interview and she was approved. They said in 10 days the visa would be issued and delivered. Now it says admin processing. 2 days ago it said "ready"

I know this topic has probably been beaten to death 1,000 times, but we had our interview July 23. It has been at 'ready' on ceac since August 1 and then it switched to adminstrative processing. On the ustraveldocs website it no longer says at us embassy. It says document delivery info:

and no info.

any ideas what may be going on?

Thanks!

Anyone know what the average wait time is now to pickup your visa for k1? We had our interview July 23.

Thank you. We were pretty stressed and nervous but it went quick! We started the process in April 2015 and ended July 24. Where are you located in the USA?