I understand what you are saying. While I may not be familiar with "arranged" marriages" (not sure that this would considered one). It certainly does make sense for *both* of you to be aware of the timelines involved in the immigration process before you start to consider if you wanted to move forward.
Good luck going forward.
Why do you need to book a tour in advance? Just book refundable airline tickets and worry about a tour after the fact.
It's off topic, but I would argue you don't even need a tour to enjoy your trip, just plan it yourselves.
I hope your *eventual* "Janey come lately" Swedish wife sees this comment and gets an idea of what you think about her. Maybe she will make the decision of if she and her child stays behind while you return to the US alone for you.
If she comes to the US without a valid immigrant visa and plans to stay she would be committing visa fraud and be subject to deportation just like any other person who comes here illegally.
You DO have the option to leave your wife (and child) behind and move to the states to set up a household. Many, many people need to go this route. Is it the best circumstance? No, of course not, but it IS an option.
Traveling with small children is not a hardship in the least. NY to Istanbul is a 12 hour flight with a stop midway in London. You are looking at 2 6 hour flights more or less.
Can you have a friend or relative make the trip with you? I'd bet you could find someone who wouldn't mind a vacation. Making a solo trip isn't all that difficult either.
I travelled solo with my 5yo NY to Bangkok which is was a 26 hour trip. He loved every second of it.
Of course there is also the option of meeting in a 3rd country. Bahamas is visa free for him and a very short flight from the US.
That post refers to a wedding reception, not an engagement ceremony. Sounds like two different things.
I'll defer to you on the engagement ceremony since you have HCM City specific knowledge, but I would still be hesitant to do it..
This can be a risk if immigration sees photos or other evidence of the reception and decides to label them as "too married for K1"
I would wait, get married here and then go back for a reception in Vietnam.