erynaught

It is a combination of both the economy of third-world countries improving and the economy of the US faltering - it has been in decline for years, kinda surprised you hadn't noticed it. The number of foreign countries who peg the value of their currency to the USD is declining as well. With high debt, a congress unwilling to make tough choices, a population generally irresponsible with their finances, high cost of labor, dwindling respect in the world view - it shouldn't be a surprise. I don't think the US is going to the dumps, so to speak, but I think there is a leveling of standards and opportunities - and in doing so, some gain and some lose.

Carry your passport with you everywhere you go in the States. There are no checkpoints within the US... Of course just be careful you don't cross any boarders into Mexico or Canada.

I'm interested to know - are foreign visitors required to keep their passport/VISA within their immediate vicinity while they are within the US?

I ask because as far as I know there are no ID laws in the US that require a USC have ID on their person; of course, most of us drive and have a drivers' license for that purpose and there are many reasons why a business would require an ID for verification. However, you cannot be charged for simply not having ID on you when, say, you were walking down the street or through a public park. I would think though that you could cause yourself some inconvenience for not producing an ID when asked.

In many other countries, though, there are laws mandating that you carry an official ID at all times and the police can request to check ID for whatever reason they wish.

Keep a journal of visits, calls, missed visits, broken promises, etc and do so until child is 18yo - no need for an essay, but note the dates/times/half dozen words of what the entry is about. Very easy; the hardest part will be remembering to do it. It will come in handy should the ex re-visit the custody issue or try to expand visitation priveledges later.

Your spouse's attorney is coming after you hard because they think your so nice that you'll be easy to push around and give in to what they want.

BIG mistake moving out of your own home. You need to get yourself back in and get her out. It may sound harsh, but you are setting a precendent which will only bolster her argument for continued support. You owe her nothing - do not provide support unless the Court orders you to do so - it doesn't make you look bad and the Court won't care that you've tried to be a nice guy. You want her in a position where she will agree to terms - and living in a home that is paid for with money coming in to cover her basic needs isn't much of an incentive to agree on terms.

Don't be threatened with a Divorce attorney going down the immigration path - they usually next to nothing about immigration.

You cannot apply to be the Pope. Pope is elected by secret vote of College of Cardinals from amongst their own, who are themselves appointed to their positions. Follow current events - it'll be happening again soon.

Citizenship of the Moon would be cool - but until sovereignty issues beyond our planet are agreed upon, this won't be possible.

I agree that VAWA is important legislation and serves to protect abused people, but people can (and do) file VAWA petitions regardless of the legitimacy of their claims.

They can only file for VAWA if they were abused. Did you abuse your wife?

No. They can file the VAWA if they can complete the paperwork. VAWA will be approved if they can convince the adjudicator that the abuse took place.

wowza - finally figured out how to quote a previous quote - simple things make me happy

Maternity care is, in most states, an optional rider to a policy unless it is a group policy covering 50 or more in which case it must be included.

Keep in mind that pregnancy is a pre-existing condition and may, as such, not be covered if insurance is obtained after conception. Many policies have longer exclusionary periods.

Also, baby will need it's own coverage after birth - and those costs are going to consume more than the mother's maternity care (assuming no complications).

My sister-in-law had a c-section without insurance and she's still paying it off and the kid just turned 5.

and the transfer at NRT is about as smooth as it gets

Vanessa&Tony - you got it right on the K1! Been there and can tell you that after consulting 100s 'immigration' attorneys, only about 15% understand the statutory prohibition against a K1 adjusting status with anyone other than the sponsor - (or they're bullshitting to garner additional fees.)

OP needs to wake up and get some self-esteem. Very concerned with how far this nut job is willing to go to get her to 'help' him - best to get him out of the picture as quickly as possible, divorce later in absentia. There's nothing needed from this guy other than the sound of his feet running away. Having the gullibility and stupidity to continue to 'help' him then OP probably deserves the hell it will put her through.

Interesting post. Never considered this. A friend of mine has met a Thai woman who has two children (I believe from two different fathers, but am not sure.) I've been told she is raising the kids on her own and the father(s) are not in the picture. Should I advise him to move on and find someone else before he gets himself in too deep here?

"My husband tried to teach me to drive stick. I cried and we haven't tried again."

Ha ... for years I've had a manual transmission for my vehicle for two reasons: 1) much more fun to drive and 2) hardly anyone asks to borrow my truck because they can't drive it

Family car is automatic though - just kinda a boring ride.

PS: how do you quote a previous comment in a reply? I can't seem to figure out how y'all doing it.

My wife also complained that I wouldn't correct her all the time. Reality was that I was so used to her and the anomalies in her language that my brain would auto correct and I wouldn't be aware of the mistakes.

Took my wife about six months to learn how to drive well and be confident with it. However, took me over a year to get her motivated to learn and understand that there was a real benefit to her and the kids for her to accept that she needed to be a driver.

It really does depend on how motivated the person is. My current wife is well educated but her English was terrible when she moved here a few years ago. Now, her English is excellent with just a tinge of her Thai accent coming through now and then. Her profressional colleagueas are surprised at how little time she has been learning English. However, she was very motivated and sought out every opportunity to surround herself with English as much as she could and she was never embarrassed to be misunderstood or be creative in getting her point across - embarrassment and shyness are a huge obstacle to many.

It can be very difficult to teach/coach your spouse, especially if the expectations are not the same. I'm pretty driven and so is my wife, so that wasn't a problem. But a friend of mine was getting very, very frustrated giving his wife English lessons (and he was too cheap to enroll her in a proper ESL program), so my wife and I gave her English lessons instead - we had more patience, she didn't get as frustrated with us when we corrected her again and again, and she made better progress, but she is also less comfortable and motivated to become a very fluent speaker - more of the attitude to learn as little as she needs to get by and keep her husband off her back.

I helped facilitate the shipment of a colleagues belongings back to Europe when she left after a 3yr stint ... half a container cost $500 and she stuffed it to the gills. Of course, it took 2 months to arrive in Rotterdam, but it was much cheaper than any other option. She moved furniture, clothing, electronics, books, etc.

I travel light, so when my wife came we brought 4 large suitcases of her stuff and that was covered with the airfare. After a few months, she realized that she didn't neet to bring half of it.

Good advice to go the 2yr GC route and ROC with waiver.

However, if he's beating you up and being that physical, the likelihood if it escalating over the next two years is high. If it's real, then document everything and seek out help immediately.

Okay, so i understand the i-864 doesn't get filed with the k1.

So, neither USC would have an obligation here with the government.

But foreign national has a problem.

Correct?

Thanks for the clarification.

Interesting scenario:

1) foreign national comes to us under K1

2) foreign national never marries USC sponsor

3) foreign national marries another USC non-sponsor

4) I-864 filed by USC sponsor; USC non-sponsor never files I-864

5) foreign national divorces USC non-sponsor after 15 years of marriage

6) USC non-sponsor worked full-time all 15 years at above poverty threshold

7) foreign national never attains USC or AOS

Would USC sponsor be off the hook regarding the I-864 due to foreign national having established 40 SS credits through USC non-sponsor spouse?

Maybe I don't understand the details, but I thought the only way the USC could be relieved of the I-864 obligation was:

1) Death of affiant (USC)

2) Death of beneficiary (foreign fiance)

3) Beneficiary becoming USC

4) Beneficiary leaving the US

5) Beneficiary accumulates 40 quarterly credits within SS, essentially 10yrs of full-time work (either fiance or USC spouse)

As far as I understand it, divorce does not discharge the obligation. Even if fiance receives alimony/child support, if fiance receives any federal needs-based public assistance, US Government can sue the affiant for reimbursement.

I always thought the I-864 was iron clad.

Am I missing anything?

Prenuptial agreements are a complete waste of time for most the vast majority of us. They are not routinely accepted by American Courts. Considering the relationships on this forum, it would be relatively trivial for a decent lawyer to argue that your foreign-born spouse didn't fully grasp what she was signing ... and have it thrown of out divorce proceedings.

If you have sizeable assets prior to marriage, a blind trust or some other estate contract is much more secure and binding.

I have children from a previous marriage and a niece I have taken under my wing when my brother died much too young. After divorcing my previous wife, I set up a blind trust to manage some investments for their care in the event I can no longer work prior to their turning 18yo as well as college education is there is enough in that kitty. The trust also covers any further issue from me.

My retirement assets prior to marrying my current wife benefit the above blind trust in the event of my premature death. However, I fully expect to live and retire with my current wife and we will live off those proceeds then. All current income, investments and property are jointly owned and I would expect her to receive roughly half in the event of a divorce.

Sure, we had plenty of discussion on this prior to marriage ... but I wasn't asking her to make any decisions as I had set this up several years before meeting her. No insult. No worries. She knows that she and all the children will be well cared for.

Not wanting to discuss scenario planning and 'what if' kinda situations in your future woul be the biggest red flag to me. I broke it off with a filipina precisely because she refused to discuss things like how to handle emergency medical situations, funeral wishes, etc., etc. My dad died leaving NO will and NO instructions and it was royal pain in the a** sorting out the details and listening to the bickering between my aunts, his gf and everyone else.

Just off the top of my head, my mum has not flown from PI, but other SE Asia, Africa and Europe. My sister few once from PI to VN. Both mum and sister have different last names than me.

Most of my travel has been business and the air charges are direct billed to my department and reconciled monthly by the company - i never see the money end of the transaction and am only aware of the costs in my quarterly reconciliation of my expense account. I don't know if my name is associated with the transaction other than pertaining to passenger info.

I;m not saying that it never happens, just that it has never happened to me or my family on well over 200 international trips. I do think it is prudent though to be safer than sorry. If I had ever had that experience or known someone who had, I'd be preaching the same advice. Note that I'm not advising against it at all.

I do call my credit card company prior to every trip that I can to let them know where I'll be and when. I do this because i HAVE had issues in the past where after several transactions they put a hold on my credit card and because of crappy cellular signal I was unable to resolve it quickly. Glad to see the fraud detection thing works when they see me eating dinner in NYC and a couple of days later purchasing train tickets and meals in Vientiane.

The I-601 is gong to be a real headache. An explanation of what happened that day, even if believed and accepted whole heartedly by the consular officer, is not going to get approval of the I-601. You will need to demonstrate extreme hardship to the US citizen sponsor and family separation by itself does not meet the burden. You will need to educate yourself fully and get a couple of good legal consults - and stay away from the lawyers who specialize in filling out visa applications and springing illegals out of motor vehicle violations - I-601 is getting into territory where you need special, competent knowledge - hence why you should seek out a second and third qualified opinion.

Even IF you get the waiver, she can still be denied entry by the official at the POE who has final say in whether she comes through the border or not. And they can be fickle.

To be honest, it'll probably take most of the five years to get her here with the waiver and everything else. Probably better if u can move overseas for awhile, or if you live near the Can/Mex border, set her up in one of those countries (legaly, of course) and visit often. If u really love her, its going to take time and patience and money.

cannot figure out the cut-paste thing ... but like Emmanuel+Loraine above, I also had a 12 year age gap with my first wife. I tell you though after knowing her for a longer time I started to feel the age gap was more like 40yrs and her immaturity and irresponsiblity began to shine. She ulimately left for someone older - go figure.

Maturity of mind is far more important.

ive gotten over the psychological issues i had with age gap and firnds and family are no problem. i did worry about more practical issues like when i can be elligible for medicare and no longer working how would i provide health insurance for her? the kids? and i want to be healthy and agile enough for her and the kids. i got myself snipped at 55 because the i couldnt bear having a baby that i was unlikely to see start their own family someday and my wife was happy because she didn't want the increased chance of raising a baby without me.

age gap will always present some challenges - it is up to u to decide what those challenges are, how u will deal with them - figure this all out and it won't be an issue for u any more. When you have your priorities lined up and a workable plan, then they become nonissues and you can go on with your life.