noname0

"Being bitter and vindictive doesn't make anyone happy, especially immediately after a failed marriage."
Oh please stop it.

Gowon, I didn't know I was talking about you.
Anyway, everyone has their own opinion. Opinions are different. And stories have sides. If you have too much time on your hands, there are better things to do than sitting in front of the computer all the day long, checking www.visajourney.com every 2 seconds, judging who is right, who is wrong, telling this person to shut up, ordering that person to think like you. One of the good things to do is helping your spouse with the housework to make your marriage even happier.

I don't want to generalize all the USC men or women who marry a non-USC person, yet, I've seen many of them who want the foreign spouse to be nothing but a servant, a piece of possession they've invested some thousand dollars in and now it's time for them to get it back. "Serve me, obey me or you'll send you back home." Or "no matter how bad I treat you here you still luck out, you live better here than you did in your home country."
We, the foreign spouses, wouldn't mind leaving the US if we hadn't given up everything, job, house, bachelorhood, or barcherettehood, many opportunities to come here to share our life with you. Entering a marriage is not like going to a bowling game, if the game is not so much fun, ok, we'll quit and go home.
There are many reasons for a marriage to not work. But once it falls apart, the only excuse the USC spouse resorts to is "h/she scammed me into marrying him/her and now h/she leaves me!" Oh really? So you were naive like an angel! Angels don't complain or try to hurt anybody.
I do believe that things like that do happen somewhere sometimes, yet, they don't happen to every marriage, which the foreign spouse (has to or chooses to) get out of.
Being bitter and vindictive doesn't make anyone happy, especially immediately after a failed marriage.

Only certain HPV strains cause cervical cancer,first figure out which ones you have, don't panic, as well as you know about it and have it under control, it will all be fine. Good luck, go to a free clinic and see if you can't get tested for all STDs possible. Good luck!

Good luck!!!! hope everything comes out find!!!!

Just take the test and Relieve yourself from this in your mind and yes be concerned.I agree with Ebunoluwa Just because you have this doesn't mean you have cancer.I'm praying for you ...wish you the best

http://www.cdc.gov/std/hpv/pap/default.htm
Above is a link on HPV. You can read it and realize that just because you have abnormal cells does not necessarily mean
you have cancer. You may need to be treated so it doesn't turn into cancer later.
You can go tomorrow and get HIV checked if it hasn't been done already with your recent visit.
You should also ask your husband to get checked.
Worrying about it now changes nothing so calm down and try not to upset yourself with negative thoughts.
Discuss your concerns with your doctor in depth so you will be well informed.
Previous sex partners ( and number of ) should be discussed before taking the relationship to the next level and
a transparent disclosure to evaluate compatibility and risk factors are always best talked about before getting involved.
Best wishes and you will likely be just fine.

That's a tough situation
I'm not trying to add to your concern but it's not just HIV that you have to worry about. 200 women is quite a few. I would go to the physician and ask for a FULL STD work up. While HIV is a big concern, it's actually the hardest to contract. You need Hep B and C testing as well. Also the full spectrum of STDs, Ghonorrea, Chlamydia, Syphilis and Herpes. Some of these viruses can go undetected in males for a long time, so he might not even know he's carrying anything.
I recommend you educate yourself, not to the point of scaring yourself to death, but to be informed on this situation. GET TESTED and that will give you peace of mind.
Good luck

Don't panic just follow up with the treatment that is required and if caught early it will be cured, as far as the HIV your GYN shoukd of
had you tested for everything once the HPV came back positive, Its amazing that 80% of women have it and many are unaware that they have it.
Like I said before it is pertinent thatyou follow all treatment as necesary.It will be ok.

oh dear. i hope everything goes well for you. i wish your husband is there when you get the results from the clinic.
best of luck.

I agree with what everyone has said- it's human to panic and it's okay to vent- that's what VJ is there for.
But you need to have a serious discussion with your husband even if it means involving a religious leader or someone who you both trust in your marriage who is like a mentor. Do not agree to be intimate with him until he agrees to accompany you to a testing center. Women are the most vulnerable creatures when it comes to STIs and it's not fair what you're going through.
We're praying that everything turns out okay. Please put yourself first, your health especially.
Wishing you God's grace & comfort.

GF this is the root of your problems.
Do you have family or friends here in the U.S? U did great finally getting physical help for your pains but it sounds like u should try to find more help for the other issues u might be quietly enduring. This does not sound right.

Definitely get tested for HIV. Your husband should also be tested. I would be having sex with a condom from now on if you can. 200 women is a lot and STIs/STDs are common.
I hope your HIV , STD and HPV tests come back negative.

It's always a good idea to get tested (both parties) before you go into a monogamous relationship with someone that involves unprotected sex. From one sexual encounter the chances of getting HIV is not that high, probably lower than you would expect. "If your partner is HIV-positive, your chances of getting AIDS after one night are 1 in 5,000 with a condom, 1 in 500 without." Like everyone else said, just stay calm and get yourself tested. And, make sure he gets tested too... Also, I know you didn't ask about this, but I'm just going to throw it in. 200 women is a lot of women and indicative of someone with a voracious sexual appetite. I'm not saying that means he has been unfaithful, or would be unfaithful... but just some food for thought. I had one boyfriend with numbers that high and he had a serious fidelity problem. If someone told me that they had slept with that many women it would be a bit of a red flag.
As far as HPV goes, there are four common strands of HPV that comprise nearly all cases. Only half of those strands contribute to cervical cancer. Your doctor should be able to tell you what strand you have (I'd suspect if you had abnormal cells you had the kind that can lead to cervical cancer). The other strands are the kind that cause genital warts. It's very important if you have the kind that contributes to cervical cancer that you go back for frequent pap smears. Unfortunately, when my ex cheated on me I contracted the HPV that causes cervical cancer. I had to have a very small procedure where they removed the pre-cancer cells. The good news is that most of the time HPV goes away. Six months after I was diagnosed I was deemed 'clean' and no longer carry it or am capable of transmitting it (thank god) and as a bonus you never have to worry about getting that strand again.

Follow up with your doctor to ask more questions about the abnormal cells, they're are usually cancer causing cells. Most times these can be treated without futher problems. HPV is so common in america that now they give a vaccine to girls and boys age 15 to prevent HPV. That is scary to know your husband has been with so many women. Get tested for HIV to be on the safe side and it would be nice if he agreed to get tested also. Good Luck

You should be able to get a print out of the results from all of the tests that they did. If not go back, or go to the local health dept, they might do it for free.
You also should have an appointment with you OBGYN doctor without your husband present at least to discuss everything that is going on. It sounds like you have a few issues here and your OBGYN doctor should be able to help you work through them. If your husband's main concern is being accused of non-consensual sex then he doesn't need to be involved in your health discussions.
Also, demand that your husband have full testing done as well. Not only does this affect the two of you but any possible future children you might have. Even if only one parent has an infection/disease.
In the end, we are all responsible for own health and the consequences. So sorry you are having to deal with this. Please take care.

HPV is very common and it's not life threatening. You'll get a "freeze" treatment of those cells or they will be removed. That's it. Only 4% of those cells turn into cancer. Get tested every 6 months for HPV and please DO NOT LET YOUR HUSBAND DETERMINE WHETHER YOU CAN GO TO THE DOCTOR OR NOT! Outrageous!
Go to your OBGYN again and ask for a complete physical. You probably already did, hence you were diagnosed with HPV. Ask again for an appointment and get blood work done. HIV tests are free in most hospitals or clinics, so you can also go to one of them.
Don't let the stigma of the number of partners get to your head. Sexual intercourse is not the only method of transmission. Yes, the more unprotected sex you have, the higher the odds of contracting anything. That said, remember, HIV is now a survivable disease. There are many misconceptions about the virus, thanks to fear campaigns. Do a thorough research and you'll find that, more people die of diabetes and obesity related diseases than HIV. In fact, more people die of cigarette smoking, than HIV. It's something NO ONE wants to have or should ever fathom the idea of having. If you do, however, know it can be controlled with proper treatment.
Also, know that, if your husband has been tested and he has been hiding his positive results from you- or any other partner- knowing it may infect you, he is liable. There was a famous case where a man, knowing he was HIV positive, purposely engaged in unprotected sex with many women and infected them. It was a class action and he served time in prison. Hopefully this is not the case and you're just frantic.
You will be ok. If you're in a bad marriage, to the point this is even a problem, you should rethink. No one should live in fear for their lives, whether is domestic violence or disease fears, etc.
Take control of your life and take care, please. Good luck.

I can understand your concern....
However, before people are quick to give health advice...nobody knows what one's "chances" of contracting the virus are, it depends on obviously if the person is infected, what their t-cell count is, as well as what their viral load is, if they are on medication and if they are detectable. So none of us can say if there is a chance that you have HIV/AIDS. If your husband will only allow you to go to the Gynecologist, find a free clinic or a place that does free HIV testing in your neighborhood, go when hes going to work ro tell him your going for follow up for Gyn. Also, some of the other suggestions of a support group, and a discussion with a religious leader are great pieces of advice.
You also can not contract "AIDS" from one encounter, you can only be infected with HIV, which if not properly managed can turn in the disease AIDS.
As far as prosecution, the laws vary by state, please lets be sensitive before giving out information that we are not sure of.
First things first, take the HIV test, have the conversation with your husband with a religious leader or family friend. If you still need to, seek out support groups.
I wish you the best of luck.

Sorry to hear. Make sure ur husband is with you and supporting you if and when u decide to do a HIV test

"Any chance that I have HIV/AIDS? i'm freaked out!"
I have been where you are.
You should be tested right away - but optional
YOUR HUSBAND NEEDS TO BE TESTED - NOT optional
he is the one who has slept with over 200 women, not you.
so obviosly HE needs to be tested ASAP.
And, yes you will both be nervous until you get the results.
Then 6 months later you both should be tested one more time(just for HIV though) - for peace of mind.
.

I just wanted to add do not be afraid to get a second opinion from a different doctor. Sometimes a doctor or a lab can be wrong. It is always good to get a second opinion. Your doctor can be a source of lots of different information, including if you need help from a abusive relationship. Also a doctor is NOT allowed to discuss ANYTHING that you tell him with ANYONE. This includeds your husband. So, you can feel at ease confiding in him/her. I hope that your husband wakes up and starts treating you in the proper manner. Unfortunately, nothing will change unless you speak up. Stress is a very dangerous thing. It can make you sick, rob you of your spirit, take away your enthusiasm for life, and even kill you. I hope that you are able to find piece of mind with all of your problems.

People here have given you good medical advice. Getting tested for HIV and STIs right away should definitely be your first priority. But there's another issue at work that is downright scary, and it's your husband's treatment of you. I couldn't let this go without commenting: He let you see the gynecologist? You have a right to your health, and no one - not even your husband - should stop you from receiving medical care, whether you appear to be in perfect condition or not.
Please do as others have suggested: if you have family or friends in the area, reach out to them for support and protection. If need to see the gynecologist again, you could check into seeing a Planned Parenthood physician, if you have one in your area. They will be able to do confidential exams and testing, so even your husband doesn't need to know, and in many cases they can provide reduced-cost or free services.
You have enough on your plate as it is now, but when you are secure in your health again and things are calm, I urge you to consider you marriage: are you truly equal partners, or has he overstepped his bounds as a husband?

You can go to a free clinic and for a nominal charge they can give you an HIV test with immediate results. It involves a swab of the inside of your mouth for HIV antibodies. They can give you the results while you are there.

Get tested, get your husband tested, get a lawyer and leave him. That he doesn't want you to see a doctor says a lot about him.

It seems your husband is a freaking abuser.He had sex with over 200 different women WITHOUT condoms before getting married, it means that he doesn't have any self respect then do not expect he will respect you either...without condoms 200 women? what a jerk... Get tested, and remember you can't travel back in time, but you can make smart choices to protect yourself NOW!. Life is way to short to spend it in poor relationship.

I don't get why or how people tell her to not panic. Being a virgin and getting In a marriage is a big deal. In middle eastern and South African countries you are raised to believe you are bringing something priceless into the marriage, your purity, your lack of baggage and history and you expect your partner to acknowledge that and respect that. So now not only one feels bad because her health has been compromised , but also her husband lied and lost her trust and didn't live to his duties that are expected from a solid, legit, honest man.
It's ok to feel bad, it's ok to feel stressed, scared and upset, just don't let it fog over your thinking process. Do what is best for ou. Get your health concerns in order and then deal with the marriage