C&Q

My fiance gave her a chance by agreeing on partial custody ... Has she changed? Not at all. I don't care about her or her feelings because of what she has done to my fiance and the kids ... Have u read my posts? If u have, I don't think u would say something like this... What she did was horrible and A MOTHER would never do any harm to her own kids.

A quick google shows that people in 2002... 1 week for a K1

This frustrates me even more ... U GOT to be kidding me ...

Took me 2 months to get my J1 visa last year btw... With background checks and everything...

Hire more people and improve ur services. As simple as that. And if USCIS doesn't have enough money to hire more people (which I highly doubt) then raise the fee ... Personally, I wouldn't mind paying $100 or $200 more if that means I get my visa within 3 months instead of 7 or more. So somebody please explain to me why they don't do it?

I just don't understand their whole system ... I'm getting super tired of this though. Everytime u call u never really get an answer or they tell u to wait 38475737 days ... After waiting 38475737 days u call again and they tell u to wait another 29485737 days ...

Today I learned never to trust the USCIS website, I'm going to start drinking now...

I learned that a long time ago

CHEERS

Is your date going to be rescheduled?

Yepp, original court date was January. New one is this Friday.

Woah, that's just weird.

Or Karma? ... She is fine, she's probably just trying to find an excuse why she can't make it to the court date. Like she did last time ...

Was it a car accident?

Well, couple days ago she really texted him saying that she had got in a car accident and she didn't know whether she can make it to the court date ...

Yes ma'am

Ugh...

DS-156: Have you ever violated the terms of a U.S. visa, or been unlawfully present in, or deported from, the United States?

I assume I have ???

Why should you be frustrated? You are only 2 months and 11 days from you NOA1. You have a long way to go, so sit down and be patient like the rest of us. Your average processing times for an I-130 from the VSC is 5 months. I filed a I-129F and it is in CSC with an average time of 5 months. I filed mine and received my NOA1 on December 8, 2011 and am still waiting for the NOA2. It looks like mine could be as early as the end of April or early May which is around 5 months. SO getting frustrated is not going to help you and will not get your petition to move faster. USCIS will get to it when they get to it. We are all at their mercy.

No disrespect RickJovi but this is not the first, not the second, not the third time reading such a comment. What is this all about? "You've only been waiting one, two months. Why are u worried yada yada yada" It doesn't really matter how long u have been waiting... Even weeks seem an eternity when ur far away from ur love and sure u get impatient and want to see some progress... Where's the understanding? I just don't get it But that's just my 2 cents.

Like I said, nothing personal or anything like that but this is just something I've noticed ...

Vermont is slowing way down, i seen two updates.....5 and 6 months....well hopefully they and Cali will speed up so everyone can be together before next winter

Well not everybody updates their timeline right after they receive NOA2

My timeline went from June 28 - July 9 to June 19 to July 1 by the way

There are different types of visitation, as well. Try to dig deep into 'supervised visitation' for your area, learn a bit about what that means. IMO, supervised visitation is much better for the kids, there's another human there (not you or your spouse) that can intervene on any silliness the mother might bring.

We will definitely do that, no doubt

Sure, anytime you're ready...hey, here is some encouragement...today is one day closer to when you will next see your darling :-)

U are so right !

In some states yes a mother has automatic right, but more and more states are coming round to the idea of 50/50 custody time with each parent. Unfortunately unless CPS is reporting to the court their concerns about the mothers fitness to take care of the kids there is little a court will do with regards giving the daddy sole custody. You cannot be seen to be on a witchhunt for the kids Mom, that will look bad for you, what you need to do is document every exchange and if you are in a state that allows you to video the exchanges and record the conversations then you should do so, may be it is something you should look up online. If the children are in counselling what is the counsellor saying, are her findings going to help you in court? I don't know your full story, but I do have experience of dealing with ex wives and we battle with my hubbys ex every time we try to have contact with the kids. My step kids have been through the mill with their Moms various husbands and boyfriends and no court in the land is willing to help us regarding their safety, even CPS has called us and told us what is going on but they're not willing to go to court about it.

I wish you good luck with everything and for the kids I hope it works out well, they didn't ask to be born and brought in to this mess, they deserve a good, happy, healthy and safe life.

I guess we are lucky that the judge is on our side - at least I had the impression that she was - and with everything we have (CPS, statement from HER mother, police reports, statements from the Army, etc) I think it looks pretty good for us *fingers crossed* I just wasn't aware of the fact that she will still have visitation rights but we will have to deal with it.

Court date is soon and I will let everyone know how it went

Child custody is a right of a mother, but sometimes she can lose the rights due to special factors. Usually the mother loses custody in cases of abuse,abandonment and confirmed neglect of a child. The mother can regain custody after a while if she files a motion to obtain a custody modification, if it's enough evidence to warrant a retrial of the custody hearing then the custody may be modified.

Regarding to move out of the State some States do require written consent from the non-custodial parent. Since the custodial parent proof

that is not an attempt to restrict the former wife to access the children and if it's in the best interests of the children in relocation then the Court may grant the relocation. The most important thing is that the children do not get caught in the crossfire.

CPS already investigated 1-2 years ago because she neglected them, she tried to kill herself several times, alcohol and drug abuse (even in front of the kids)... She didn't leave out anything

I talked to my fiance yesterday and he told me it looked pretty good for us, he could gather some more documents from CPS... Fingers crossed everything will be fine.

I'm going to assume you're living in Germany, the ex is German and the whole custody stuff is going through the Jugendamt. If your fiance doesn't have sole custody, he cannot PCS out of Germany WITH the kids unless the mother gives up on her custodial rights. And honestly, I don't think I don't think a U. S. visa forum is the right place to figure out custody arrangements in a country that has a completely different legal system than the U. S. Talk to a lawyer who knows what they're doing.

His ex wife is American and both her and my fiance are in the states.

I just talked to my fiance and he had good news. I think everything will work out just fine.

Well thanks everybody for the help. Appreciate it.

If CPS already investigated her and did not make a formal report to the Court that she is a danger to the children there is almost no way you can obtain an order for her to have no visitation. Unless he has sole custody he usually must obtain permission from the court before moving the children out of state (check your state laws).

What you can do is limit contact between yourselves and her. Obtain a cell phone just for the purpose of her calling and turn it on only when she has the children (so she can reach you in case of an emergency). Ask that the exchanges be done at a public location, preferably a police station, etc.

I have a problem with my daughter's step-mom always trying to talk to me in the parking lot of the police station then going into court and lying about what I said. I simply refuse to speak to her or acknowledge her until we are inside the building.

Try to keep the children out of the conflict, be positive about the visits with the mother, children tend to mirror their parents' emotional state.

Well to be honest I don't know whether CPS made a formal report to the court but we have several documents from them that we will present to the judge end of April.

The idea with the cell phone is good as she calls almost every day (even on Sat or Sun morning for absolutely NO reason ugh). Why didn't I come up with this idea?

Talking about emergencies... She refuses to give us her address. She just wouldn't give it to us. Don't we as well have a right to know where they are? If something happens we wouldn't even know where to find them (When we drop them off we meet at a gas station. Police station is nowhere near. Yet we had to call the police because she wouldn't stay away from the car and didn't let us drive home.)

My fiance and I do not talk about their mother in front of the kids. We're trying to make it easier for them but his ex wife is doing the total oposite of what we are trying to do. Whenever the kids are at her house she "brainwashes" them by telling them lies ... I really hope this has an end soon :/

Our experience of Child Protective Services is pretty dismal, no matter what my step childrens Mom does they don't care and laugh at us for being concerned, even when others have reported DV. I don't know about the military and moving the kids out of state, have you tried speaking to Legal on post, they should have some answers regarding the situation. How old are the children, are they old enough to go before a judge or a Guardian Ad Litem and explain how they feel, if not try counselling for the kids, it sounds like they are being traumatized by visitation etc. Good Luck I hope you get it all worked out. Kids are so precious and need to be protected and looked after.

CPS really helped us a lot though that's why custody was taken away from her once ... We have several documents from CPS stating that she is dangerous, her living conditions are not appropriate and so on.

And no we haven't talked to Legal yet. My fiance is planning to do so soon. Unfortunately the kids aren't old enough but they're talking to a councelor already... I hope ur right and everything will work out. My fiance and I are old enough to deal with her but it's about the kids and I just want the best for them so they can grow up in a normal family and focus on their goals.

Hello Sophie0129. I am glad to see someone from Germany, I love that country and I love the language. That is what I occupy most of my free time with - learning German. The most wonderful language there is I even taught Aaron a few words

Aw thank u. That's nice from u! Yes Germany is absolutely beautiful!

Do u have any difficulties learning German though? I know for a lot of people, especially Americans, the pronunciation and the grammar is pretty tough.

Thanks for the quick answers.

Well she had gotten in a lot of trouble and custody was taken away from her once. Child Protection Service is involved too. I should've mentioned that in my first post. My bad.

Couple months later my fiance agreed to her having partial custody though because he thought that she had changed... Wrong! (Sometimes I wanna smack him in the face for that lol)

But I don't understand how she can have visitation rights if the kids don't even wanna see her ... My fiance and I feel so bad because we have to force them and that's the last thing I wanna do.

Edit: I understand that she can require information on where the kids are and stuff. But when my fiance gets stationed in another state do we still need permission?

I'm trying to make it as short as possible and I hope someone is out there who can help me with our situation. I appreciate any advice.

Well, the kids live with my fiance (US citizen, Army) and me. Every two weeks he has to drop them off and the kids stay with his ex wife for the weekend... My fiance and I are trying to get sole custody of the kids back which shouldn't be a problem at all (His ex wife used to be a drug and an alcohol addict). Now here is the problem:

I heard that even if we might get sole custody of the kids she still does have visitation rights???!

We want to get rid of her. My fiance hates her, I hate her and even the kids hate her (because of what she has done to them). Everytime we drop them off they cry and hold on to us... It breaks our hearts having to let them spend the weekend with her even though they don't want to... When we pick them up on Sunday the kids seem traumatized. They get in the car without sayin anything, just sitting there staring out the window until we're back home. Overall she is just crazy and I think even bipolar. She doesn't pay any child support, she tries to brainwash the kids, always texting my fiance about some stupid stuff, insulting him and me. Our life would be so much better without her...