sailormoon01

55 minutes ago, Boiler said:

Check the Pakistan forum, think I saw one who had got up to 5 years, a year or so seems a more normal extreme case.

Hey I think I remember that lady from Pakistan. I'm honestly scared as hell of longterm AP. Thats one of the reasons I got the nationality in my mom's country. Worse case scenario we try for there because there even if they give problems with the visa, they automatically have to give the nationality after 2 years of marriage. 

Just now, Lemonslice said:

Maybe the problem is... Syria now, and not the American policies on where the interview will take place?  

Again, you CAN request the case to be transferred to Beirut - if you know Syrians who have done it... that's exactly how they did.  Nothing to debate really.

I did say that it is Syria. Even if he is allowed to enter Jordan, the problem is when he returns to his country. Seems to me though the American government purposely make it difficult for Syrian applicants by having it in Amman. They might as well have it in Tel Aviv. I also despise Obama for closing all American operations in Syria and for closing the Syrian embassy in the USA. Would be soooooo much easier if still an American embassy in Syria. 

You would be mad too if you spent time and money and now can't attend the interview. Your country is also Canada, so easy for you to talk. 

Whats the longest anybody here has been in AP? Just curious. I've been lurking on this forum for a while and seen many people in it for years. Also, seen this crazy article. http://lawandborder.com/administrative-processing-black-hole-visa-applicants/

Even if they let him enter Jordan, he is scared for how they will treat him back in Syria knowing he traveled to Jordan. They sort of see Jordan as an enemy and don't take too kindly to there citizens traveling there. 

Has anybody had luck with this? I wrote Beirut on our forms. I wanted the case in Beirut. NVC sent to Amman. NVC and USCIS are no help and seem to be wanting to wash their hands clean by saying they already sent the case to Amman. My fiancé can't go to Amman. Even the Amman website highlights the difficulties of Syrians going there. NVC and USCIS are basically telling me my only hope is to contact the embassies. This is messed up considering its their error and I correctly wrote the embassy on our application. I am so angry and scared. Amman told me they will send the case, but I need Beirut to email them stating they will accept it. I am so scared Beirut will not accept because of course they probably want a lighter case load. This is so scary. We were already in a bad situation because of the travel ban. 

P.S. I am also a citizen of a European country. I am starting to think our only hope will be to marry and for him to go to my other country. I still had hope for the USA because i seen some people getting waivers. Now that they wrongly sent his case to Amman, I am hopeless and crying every minute. 

They sent it to the wrong country. Was on the phone with both NVC and USCIS today for 4 hours. Neither of them want to take responsibility. Instead, they are telling me to contact the embassies. Of course, the original embassy will not want to receive the case now. They want a lighter case load, even though they would have had to originally accept the case if USCIS and NVC would have done their jobs and sent it to the embassy I clearly listed on the application! I just don't know what to do. 

I have lost all hope. He can't enter the country and even on their embassy's website they have listed its difficult to enter for nationals of my fiance's county. 

Has anybody had this happen? Please help. Its impossible for my fiance to arrive at the embassy they transferred his case. We had the correct embassy listed on our petition. 

Thank you I have no idea why they freaked out on me like that! Really it was just an innocent post and I was looking to meet people who might be in my area and looking to travel with somebody. Plane rides can be long and lonely. Who wouldn't want to meet another friend who is going to the same part of the world?

One more thing, there is NOTHING wrong with the post I had written about my ex. I was just trying to warn women about the reality and warn them that its fine to have fun with these guys but proceed with caution when trying to bring them to your country. The people who want to bully me really need to get lives. My post about my ex was heart felt and anybody who had a problem with it only has a problem because they are probably insecure within their own relationships. I know when I was with my ex, reading horror stories of other women didn't bother me.

Yeah, I had second thoughts about bringing that up. I decided to just sit back and see how this goes. No wonder the family has concerns...

Again, I will say what I told her. You need to mind your own business and stop being a bully. I forgot how the ladies on here bully so much. The funny thing is the majority of women on the MENA forum don't even like Arab men. I truly have an attraction for Arab men. I could get any Western guy, but I prefer not to. Many of the ladies here just go with Arab guys out of desperation, but if a handsome Western guy wanted you tomorrow, you would run.

When I see a post I don't like or find suspicious, I ignore it. No need to get your panties in a bunch Have a nice day

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/topic/442825-the-cold-hard-truth-about-mena-husbands/

How about minding your own business? Yes, I am no longer with my ex. However, I am trying to travel back to Leb to meet old friends and I thought this would be a good place to maybe meet people in my area who also will be traveling to the Middle East soon.

Wow, some people need to chill out! How is it a strange offer? I never said I would pay for anybody. I have a family member who works with the airline and I can get us to any European city for cheap. Then, I plan on purchasing MY ticket to Lebanon with my miles. If anybody wants to travel with me, I can help them get where they need to go for cheap. I never said I am willing to pay. I am just looking for somebody to travel with to feel a greater sense of security and for my family's peace of mind because there is so much happening in that part of the world now. People are far too paranoid these days! I guess I am a much more social person and looking to meet new friends. No need to get all paranoid and assume!

Truthfully, this seems like an odd offer, as there are many other charities that would accept such an offer. As to using this offer as a way to reassure family members, I don't think it's very effective. You're attempting to gain a travel partner but as a stranger. Not sure this would be very reassuring to me if I were your father or brother.

You might consider asking a family member or a family friend to travel with you, which would be far more reassuring to your extended family. Yes, it has that old fashioned chaperone feeling to it, but consider where it is that you're going. If you're meeting with a potential fiancee for the first time, then it would be wise to take extraordinary precautions.

Please read my previous reply. Anyway, you are not from the MENA forum or traveling anywhere in the MENA, so why even respond to this?

Hi, I am looking to travel soon to go to Lebanon. I live in Chicago. Are there any ladies who would want to join me? I can get tickets for close to nothing. It would be so nice to have a traveling partner, at least so my family will not worry. By the way, even if you are not going to the same country as me, we can travel to Europe together then split up. For example, if you are going to Morocco or something. Either way, let me know. I have connects in the airline industry as well as a ton of miles saved. I can help you get out for cheap just because I would feel a lot more comfortable traveling with another woman. Even if you are not in Chicago, you may have to connect through O'hare so it will work and I can bring you out to Chicago for about $30.

My "posse" ? Teehee. Cabalista !

Anyway, when you're really and truly over that guy, you won't even waste your time thinking about him... much less spending days arguing in drama threads about him. Life is beautiful, but people who trash their exes (along with anyone who shares their ethnicity, religion, culture or place of origin) on public message boards are really not.

Maybe I like entertaining myself with losers like you. Trashing him? Did I even mention his name or anything to possibly identify him? Get real. Take your own advice and if you don't like what people post then ignore the thread and stop trying to harass people and paint them as something they are not because you are probably jealous other women got free.

My "posse" ? Teehee. Cabalista !

Anyway, when you're really and truly over that guy, you won't even waste your time thinking about him... much less spending days arguing in drama threads about him. Life is beautiful, but people who trash their exes (along with anyone who shares their ethnicity, religion, culture or place of origin) on public message boards are really not.

Maybe I like entertaining myself with losers like you. Trashing him? Did I even mention his name or anything to possibly identify him? Get real. Take your own advice and if you don't like what people post then ignore the thread and stop trying to harass people and paint them as something they are not because you are probably jealous other women got free.

I think I am glad you got out of that prison. Now it seems you want to become the warden.

" It was a useless, wasteful 2.5 years of my life and no woman should have to waste her time doing a visa for pathetic losers"

How exactly can women know which ones are these pathetic losers? Once identified is it ok if they help get visas for the seeming winners as you did? No kidding. With all of your education and knowledge you failed to see it coming.

I am really sorry this guy did this to you but I still don't know how you expect others to do what you couldn't and wouldn't even after you read all those terrible stories you spoke of. We see here what happens when you try to warn people about what happened to you. The response is incredible and much of it nasty. This would be the same if you were told not to do what you did I think. People do what they fell is best for them especially if it involves love.

I for one am not jealous of you. I think I have what you cant find so you should be jealous of me especially because I don't have to worry about losing it. I am actually sad for you. I hope you can find peace.

.

I said nothing about you and anyway, you are NOT even a MENA person so maybe you should not pay attention to these threads.

I'm cool with charges of pseudo intellectualism coming from the likes of the ethnocentric bigot with the badass degree in international relations any day of the week.

You are a bigot and a racist, mocking other cultures. Be yourself.

Furthermore, you are ALL jealous because I am out of the emotional prison of being in love with a man who is simply a user. I had the courage to LEAVE and want more for myself than a guy who is looking for a ride and was initially attracted to me because I am a US citizen. 90 percent of you know damn well that if you were not Americans or from some type of Western country, your husbands wouldn't have given you a second look. #facts #truth #sorry

Again, you know nothing about me and you wouldn't have gotten angry responses if you and your posse hadn't attacked me. My OP was very lovely and civil. I am NOT angry because I am NO LONGER IN LOVE ANYMORE. HATE is NOT the opposite of love, indifference is. I don't hate my ex. I just never want to see him anymore and I hate the time I wasted. It was a useless, wasteful 2.5 years of my life and no woman should have to waste her time doing a visa for pathetic losers.

Again, you know nothing about me and you wouldn't have gotten angry responses if you and your posse hadn't attacked me. My OP was very lovely and civil. I am NOT angry because I am NO LONGER IN LOVE ANYMORE. HATE is NOT the opposite of love, indifference is. I don't hate my ex. I just never want to see him anymore and I hate the time I wasted. It was a useless, wasteful 2.5 years of my life and no woman should have to waste her time doing a visa for pathetic losers.

frumpy, obese, or an older woman desperately in love with a younger man who is trying to just gain something from her.

That was a insult by any long shot period, you are trying to put yourself in a different category, than everyone else. You would be very shock to hang out with me and knowing I am married to a Egyptian, I think that is why you stir up a bee nest with this topic.

No, it was not an insult because it was not directed at nobody in particular. I was referring to the stereotype that people usually assume its desperate women who can't get American guys that are used for visas. I was simply trying to say that I proceeded without a second thought that I might be getting used for a visa because I didn't fall into the category of being much older than the guy or not being somebody he would usually be attracted to. If you or anybody else became offended by something that is NOT even directed at you then that is YOUR problem and reflects on your insecurities. On the other hand, I have been dealt DIRECT insults in this entire thread by people who seriously have some underlying issues. Now, I WILL make a direct stab because I am sick of all the rude, disgusting people on here with no compassion and I don't care anymore. Listening to your attitudes, no wonder why you guys had to marry and desperately cling to men who most likely just want you for your passports. You better pray and hope he never leaves you because who else would want to be around such annoying women? Also, have fun when he bounces and leaves you for a girl 10 years younger than him from his own country. Peace! Enjoy being with somebody you have ZERO in common with. As much as we try to lie to ourselves and say we can relate to these guys, most of us have absolutely NOTHING in common with these men. At the end of the day, it DOES matter to have somebody you are COMFORTABLE with and can share EVERYTHING with, including your families all meeting together once or twice a year, rather than in laws who will NEVER even contact your mother and father, in the same way they would do if you were an Arab girl. Don't use language barriers as an excuse because as I have stated before, my aunt married and all-American guy and my grandparents DON'T speak 1 word of English, yet his family has still made an attempt to get close to our family and his mother sends my grandma holiday and birthday cards every year. Not to mention, a large majority of MENA people have some knowledge of the English language. Keep telling yourself these things don't matter, but they do. At the end of the day, I rather be ALONE the rest of my life than be back with my ex.

If I do decide to eventually settle down, I will NEVER sell myself short again as most women on here have. I will only settle for a marriage with ALL of my family present at the wedding. A man with parents who care to actually become close to me and show respect and acknowledgment to my family. A man I meet offline, who is not desperate to work in the USA. A man where wife is #1 and he can adjust to life as a husband, rather than only continuing his roles as a son and brother and friend, while neglecting what it means to be a husband.

As for sandinista, enjoy your pseudointellectualism. Before joining here, I lurked for a while and always laughed at your ridiculous idiotic comments and hostility. I have seen other threads on here before where women are simply trying to share about their awful experiences and immediately they are attacked! Keep believing that if you guys attack somebody and dismiss their stories that the same won't happen to you.

You don't know why people are 'attacking' you (they're really not) because THEY DON'T KNOW YOU...yet, you tar most of their husbands (men whom you don't know) with the same brush as your own. Yeah yeah, you're not talking about 'all', but then you'll talk about 'men from the region' 'most MENA men' blah blah blah.

If you can understand how maligned you feel, think of how what you say comes across about their husbands, and by extension, them. 'Most' MENA men (according to your posts) are scamming abusive bastards who prey on insecure women, who mostly are fat and old. You, naturally, are the exception, because you're not fat, ugly or old, therefore you really don't understand why he was a #######, so of course, it has to be his culture.

And really, everyone here has been helpful, and hasn't thrown that kind of hate your way.

Umm, no...you married The Doctor...sheesh get it right.

I never pointed out anybody's husband because I don't know them or their husbands. Name me one post where I personally talked about a VJers husband. I am simply talking about me and other MENA stories I know about.

I rest my case OP. I do believe the name calling, the condescension, the immaturity, the irrational venom, the combative baiting and general lack respect with which you respond to others in your posts speaks for itself. I'd just like to leave you with a wise quote...

Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.

(Mahatma Gandhi)

Cheers!

I was called names and even sworn at by sandinista (creepy screen name... what can she possibly know about Nicaragua.. lol jk). Maybe you should go back and see I didn't call 1 name besides calling somebody "genius". You are the immature one and sandinista with her extreme dark sarcasm and downright rudeness. Peace out.

Hey Op I agree with you!

First off hello and I am very sorry you have gone through all of that as everyone else has said, I'm glad that you are strong and wise enough to run far and fast away from that situation; unlike many woman who choose to stay with their abusers. I hope that God blesses with you with a great, wonderful man whenever He finds a suitable time and until then you heal and have a renewed hope in humanity (as if I were in your situation I would have a hard time with).

I am married to my awesomely sweet Moroccan husband (hi honey I know you are reading this ) for over a year now, alhamdoulilah he is awesome in his faith (I am a Muslim too, convert before our marriage) and we were really best friends before our marriage and had talked about me moving to his country but...I'm well accustomed to my culture and he is willing enough to sacrifice his for mine (thanks simo). We are in AP and it sucks but inshAllah, Allah tests the patient.

Anywho...on to the subject. I agree with what you said, having known some fraud marriages from stories my husband has told me about other men, one including a moroccan man who is married in Morocco (wife and two kids) and bribed someone to have his "bachelor paper" or whatever it's called and passed his interview and is now happily in America with his american wife and she has absolutely no idea that he is married with kids and I don't even want to know what that poor first wife of his is going through.

Sadly I know a lot of Moroccan stories and some Algerian that are just scams and the girls are naive to what's going on. Infact I get messages from them sometimes asking ME to find them a wife here (as if! they can keep dreaming). Infact I think I know more stories that are scams than are actually legit happy marriages. There are some warnings signs, one big one I notice is they are hypocritical to their religion and tend to either fake their religiousness or there is an absence of it which is...not very common in MENA cultures particularly north africa. I know if your husband feared Allah this would never happen but people sadly have no fear of God so it seems. I notice you pinpointed a few things Islamically, yes they are supposed to raise their kids as Muslims it's forbidden to raise as a Christian. There's many reasons for this which I won't get into but if you marry a man who is Muslim and he is actually practicing his faith you are marrying his laws/customs...as he does and should integrate into yours (so long as they do not interfere with his religious rights). A lot of our MENA husbands on here have that happy medium of being a good Muslim and still fitting into society.

The thing about your post is, most of us on this MENA forum have successful marriage so we can't necessarily relate to your story (and it's a horror story I wish nobody had). Also the MENA women are a bit...clique-ish and there's a lot of unnecessary hostility which comes from...who knows where and I apologize for that, I have a happy marriage that is contrary to your post but it's still something one should ponder as it is unfortunately a very big reality and problem. My problem that I have is that the embassy keeps giving them visas. I know personally 2 scammers with green cards, passed with flying colors while I know 3 of us who have legit relationships in AP and I have half-a-mind go ask how much hashish the embassy smokes daily but I am rather dependent on them so I bite my tongue for now.

If you had an issue with some of the shariah laws than I give you kind advice to perhaps not marry a Muslim in the future as it's not in anyone's right to revoke someones ethical laws (for either partner) as there has to be some sort of agreement on things. I will conclude that I do believe most MENA men have ill intention on getting a visa as I have seen it and so has my husband first hand whether it's for the visa, contentment, to escape their countries. I just think a lot of these men aren't on visajourney. I'm sorry you were with a bad Muslim and may Allah give you justice whether it's in this life and the next. I hope this post did shed some light to all of us that there is a problem with moreso the embassy for approving these relationships and that perhaps some women will look for more warning signs (evil the travel/gov website has it's own segment on fraud marriages as yes MENA women they are that abundant). Thank you for telling us your story.

Luckily, I already have somebody new who I am absolutely infatuated with. I am not pursuing the relationship because I need to take care and finish this chapter, as well as continuing my education. However, its nice to know I can fall for somebody again. I appreciate you admitting the truth that you are marrying his laws/customs. My ex was extremely religious, but in a hypocritical way rather than in a good nature way. I never knew how much his customs and traditions would influence our relationship. I never met a man who acted the way he does with his family in an almost obsessive way, rather than healthy loving relationships.

The fact that you spent the whole weekend bickering back and forth is a pretty clear sign you are far from indifferent. I am confident in my relationship and confident it won't end up like yours. But by saying that I have a feeling you'll come back and say "just you wait it WILL happen to all of YOU" or something like you know my fiancé or the other members' husbands personally. You don't. In fact you never did because your husband is a true POS. Cut off that parasitic necrotic tissue that's still hanging onto you for good and go have yourself a better life.

I am bickering or I am responding to personal attacks on here and people assuming stuff about me? I never ever pointed out anybody's husband or attacked anybody on a personal level or tried to analyze. I just talked about me and the majority of stories I know about personally of women with MENA men. Get over it and stop trying to find excuses for your behavior and the other women on this forum who just hate.