nigerwife

Well, you would both be welcome in Nigeria. Many of us on this forum have done so. It is also very helpful at the point of interview to prove your commitment to your marriage and relationship.

I'm not sure where in the world you could go for 12-18 months without getting some type of residency status...regardless of your passport country. Tourist visas typically range from 3-6 months in duration globally.

You may also think about how you would continue to prove domicile in the US if you are not living here. It can be done, but you'll want to be sure to plan for that.

Which takes me back to the suggestion of considering Nigeria--there are so many benefits to you doing so, even beyond the immigration process.

If you care to read my post carefully, you will note that I wasn't suggesting you have your fiancée meet you in the North. I was just stating that foreigners do travel and live there. I am well informed on the terroristic state that many are living under in some parts of Nigeria.

However, the fact remains that she could meet you in another part of Nigeria just as easily as she can meet you in Togo and the CO will know this. As they too live and work in Nigeria. They aren't there on holiday.

Just playing "devil's advocate"....I agree with the other esteemed Nigeria-savvy posters here. While you may live and work in the North, you were clearly able to travel out and meet your fiancee--so why not just meet her in Lagos or Abuja? Lagos is a tough consulate to get through, so you have to be prepared to answer tough questions.

Many of us here have traveled and lived in Nigeria--even in the North--despite the color of our skin or country of origin. Personally, I lived in Jos from 2008-2010 during some very rough times in that city. I was certainly not the only foreigner to do so.

I am probably not alone in recommending that you try to get one more visit in, preferably in Nigeria, before your interview. You have a few months to make this happen. Despite what the minimum requirements may be, going through the Lagos Consulate has proven that meeting the minimum requirements simply isn't enough.

This is a complicated issue...here are my thoughts and some feedback from my Nigerian husband....

Unless she has gone to some court and/or has an affidavidt stating that she has custody, then by normal Nigerian cultural standards (which the US Consulate will consider), she doesn't have custody in the same way that we consider legal custody here in the US. There is no "family court" in Nigeria, as these matters are typically handled in the traditional manner rather than via the court system as we do here.

I am the USC in our situation, and my husband was previously in a traditional Nigerian marriage which produced two children. We petitioned for the younger of his children to come with him immediately, with the older to follow later due to schooling. Even though my husband had physical and traditional custody--and provided 100% of financial support for his children, we had to have a local court statement signed by thier mother that she was aware of, and support of, their moving to the US with their father. This was presented to the US Consolute during the interview and there was no issue nor a request for DNA testing. We also provided school records and proof that we paid their school fees, etc. to show financial responsibility.

We did, however, run into a snag with proving his first "marriage" was no longer valid and were given a 221g at his first interview. This is because we assumed his marriage was not "legal" by American standards because they did not get married at the registry or church and there is no physical record of his traditional marriage anywhere. In fact, there was never any ceremony of any kind but rather only a dowry paid. This wasn't good enough for the fine folks in Lagos, so we had to get a court document certifying that the marriage (which wasn't on record anywhere in the first place) no longer existed. My point being, if the father has paid any dowry or "settlement" of any kind to the mother or her family, they may be considered married in the eyes of the US Consulate.

I spoke with my husband and he suggests that the mother try to appeal to someone other than the father (trusted uncle, friend, pastor, etc.) that can appeal to his sensibilities and do what is in the best interest of the child. This is how it would be traditionally handled and may produce better results. If the child is not allowed to come with the mother, is the father financially and emotionally prepared to take over care of the child? As that may be the only alternative--unless they opt to live in Nigeria rather than the US.

Of course--Lagos being Lagos--she could totally sail through the whole process without any questions asked! But I wouldn't take that risk with my child.

Can you clarify if she has custody in the US or in Nigeria? I ask because it is customary in Nigeria for children to stay with the father or his family when a marriage dissolves because Nigerian custom is that the children are members of the father's family rather than the mother's. So it would be an exception for a Nigerian mother, living in Nigeria, to have legal custody without the father's express consent.

And from where and to where is she trying to travel?

Face time for those of us going through the Lagos Consulate is really important. Face time in Nigeria is even better! If you have the opportunity to go and live with your fiance/husband in Nigeria--DO IT!

This is just my personal opinion and advice, based upon my own person experiences.....

A cross cultural marriage is no joke--it's hard. Nigerians do not think or react like Americans. Living in Nigeria will allow you to understand his culture and family in a more intimate way. You are asking him to move away from his home country--why wouldn't you do the same for him for a short amount of time? Your personal emotions living away from your family during this time will help you understand his feelings when he comes here to live away from his family and friends. Your experiences in Nigeria as a minority will be eye-opening and give you a better perspective on how he might feel living as a minority for the first time in his life. These are a few of the key reasons I recommend you going to live in Nigeria for a short time--but there are many more.

For the record, my husband and I spent the first two years of our marriage in Nigeria. Then two years apart during the visa process (with me here and he there). And now he has been here for two years. We will likely be moving back to Nigeria in the next few years while maintaining our home here in the States as well.

I wish you all the best on your journey!

Apply as soon as you have the required visa documents and fees.

Although a "letter of invitation" is commonly required for those wishing to get a visitor visa to Nigeria; it is really irrelevant for those seeking a tourist visa to the USA. They are not as interested in why you are visiting as they are in why you will be returning to Nigeria after a brief visit to the US. You must apply and get approved based on your own merits. You need to show strong ties to Nigeria (job, income, family, etc.) Good Luck!

Have you pursued refugee or asylum status? According to the USCIS website...."Refugee status or asylum may be granted to people who have been persecuted or fear they will be persecuted on account of race, religion, nationality, and/or membership in a particular social group or political opinion." http://www.uscis.gov/portal/site/uscis/menuitem.eb1d4c2a3e5b9ac89243c6a7543f6d1a/?vgnextoid=1f1c3e4d77d73210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD&vgnextchannel=1f1c3e4d77d73210VgnVCM100000082ca60aRCRD

Maybe you'd have better success with that route?

You have to remember that the embassy will consider what is customary and standard in the beneficiary's culture. In this case, that would be what is customary in Pakistani culture. So, if by Pakistani standard/culture, you are considered married then the US embassy will consider you married.

I am not Muslim, so I cannot speak to it in that context. But I have seen couples in other countries, Nigeria specifically, denied the K-1 when they had a traditional ceremony only and had no marriage document, no court wedding, no church wedding. That is because, in Nigeria, they were considered married by traditional custom. They were denied and told to file as married.

You get it in Nigeria. I do not know of anyone who has received it via the Nigerian Embassy here in the US. We just went to our local Immigration Office in the state we lived in (Plateau). So, you may want to go ahead and get your Visitor Visa for this trip and then look into the Nigerwife visa when you are in Nigeria.

There is a visa catergory called Niger Wife that you may be entitled to, it is under the CERPAC visa catergory. http://www.immigration.gov.ng/index.php?id=7

I got one about five years ago when we were living in Nigeria. It was free, never expires--and even allows me to use the Nigerian resident line at Immigration (when the customs officials are being friendly).

Safe travels!

My husband brought his daughter from his first "marriage" with him when he came to the US. We did get a notarized letter from her mother stating that she was aware and in agreement. In addition, we had a Nigerian attorney write up a document that helped establish "custody" per se.

The only issue I can see that she may have is that in Nigeria, children are customarily considered a member of the father's family rather than the mother's. In the US, we assume that the mother carries more rights than fathers--and historical custody decisions reflect that. But it is the exact opposite in Nigeria. The consulate makes immigration decisions based upon the customary practices in the immigrants home country--Nigeria--so this could be tricky for a woman trying to take her children without the father's express permission.

You might try having your Congressman sending an inquiry on your behalf. This helped us expedite a 2nd interview date. They may not find anything out, but it seems to prompt your case to get looked at.

We've used just about everything.....USPS is cheaper but packages can go missing (as you have to rely on the Nigerian post on the back end). UPS, DHL and Fedex are much more expensive but reliable.

We have recently started using a company called Impex Worldwide. They are based in New Jersey and send shipments to Nigeria on an almost daily basis. They are super reliable and cheaper than UPS/Fedex. You can check them out at http://impexworldwide.com/ . Basically, you send your package to their New Jersey office with the name, city and phone number of the recipient. While it is in route to Nigeria, they will send you an invoice with the delivery fee. This can either be paid by you here in the US or by the recipient in Nigeria. They will call the recipient when the package arrives in their city. We typically send packages to Jos and Abuja and have never had a problem.

_{Thanks for clarifying Sapele. I am a natural-born US citizen, so I wasn't considering the other factors that may apply to your case. Best of luck! Hopefully they won't require DNA--and if they do let's hope what is on file will suffice due to your circumstances.}

I replied to your PM--but wanted to post here for everyone as well.

I have a Nigerwife visa; which is a visa in my passport. It never expires and it was free. It took like a day to get it back. This was about five years ago though--so that may have changed.

They also gave me a piece of paper that says CERPAC on it. I do carry this with me when I travel--but I've never been asked to produce it at immigration going in or out of Nigeria.

This might be a stupid question.....by why are you petitioning your children for a visa? If you are a USC and can prove that, you should just be able to get them US passports. My son was born in Nigeria--I am the USC, my husband is Nigerian--and when he was born we just went to the embassy in Abuja and got his US passport. He carries both a US and Nigerian passport.

It just seems that the visa route is more expensive and lengthy....

If I am wrong, I'm sure someone will correct me.

Compared to the cost and processing time of a US spouse visa--50 thousand Naira is nothing!

We got married at the registry in Abuja....and we didn't live there. Our case was a little different than most on this forum, as I moved to Nigeria with my kids (from my 1st marriage) for the first two years of our marriage.

You can be added to your fiancee's bank accounts in Nigeria. Before I even moved to Nigeria, my husband had added me onto his Naira accounts. We also opened a joint USD Dorm Account.

I live in Nebraska....and even I have two African food stores within 50 miles...so you may have more access than you think. Also, you can buy some of the things you are looking for online too. I'd be happy to send you some stuff if you can't find it nearby--just message me.

My husband just discovered wasabi and LOVES it!

Spoke to my fiance today. We may have a solution, but it will take some gentle persuasion from me. We both have had a dream to live in Alaska for many years. My fiance moved up there from Montana earlier this year, but has had trouble finding work other than part time and trade for accommodation type work. He received a phone call last week from his old employer back in Montana, offering him his old job with better hours/pay. The poverty guidelines for Montana are nearly $10,000 less than what they are in AK, and the job with his old employer would cover the income requirements in MT. At the moment he is disappointed that AK hasn't worked out, but I am sure he will see that moving back to MT will allow us to be together and and that going back to MT is the best and only option. We are under pressure with the timeframe in which he needs to make a decision, our fiance petition expires in the first week of December, but I feel confident that he will see that this is our best option and start the move back to the lower 48.

Thanks guys for your advice, fingers crossed we have found our solution and I'll be able to post some happy news that our Visa has been approved in a a couple of months!

You don't have to give up your Alaska dream! Once you're here and considering you will still have your current income, you can take the Alaska risk again TOGETHER. Good luck!

We didn't submit any text messages. As long as you have other proof of communication (phone call records, emails, skype chats, letters, visits, pictures, etc.) it should be okay.

My stepdaughter was a bit younger during the interview, as she was only six years old....but they just asked her name and age. All other questions were directed at my husband.

I suppose if they are interviewing without your spouse there it could be different.