Mrs. Best

Nothing irks me more than seeing "CAN I SEND THEM BACK?" or some variation of this. I admit with all the fees you pay the immigration process can feel like modern day slave trade. Know what you want, know who you are, and know who you are marrying before you dive into visa waters. Yes, some of our significant others come from economically struggling countries and others whose countries fair far better than the US. Your spouse is not an expensive shirt that you tuck the tag in, wear for a night, and return the next day. My husband is fine where he is and it touches me to hear him pray for the betterment of his country and the people. Our spouses are perfectly capable of sustaining themselves in their home country. If you examine the circumstances the quality of life may be somewhat advanced in the US, but the quantity you pay is the same. Your spouse's life is changed as well as their family's. Some of them endure ridicule and negativity, because they married you and not a fellow countryman.

i wish uscis would post live stats like igor's list format.

Here's what I understand from your story: you got denied the first time, and the embassy sent your case back to USCIS for revocation.
What should have happened from then is as followed: USCIS would send you a Notice Of Intent to Revoke (NOIR), to which you could answer in a certain time frame to rebut the CO's reasons for denial. Then, USCIS could have reaffirmed your petition, and you would have a 2nd interview.
However, you did not wait for the NOIR, which may take way over 7 months to come, and filed again. So at no point did you provide additional evidence to rebut the grounds for denial. The CO sees you back in his office with a new appliciation and nothing to prove his first decision was wrong, as if the first interview never happened. I'm not surprised he denied you again. What he meant with "make sure to appeal" was "do wait for the NOIR this time and send your rebuttal instead of filing again, because I'd have to deny you again".
I think you would benefit from legal advice at this point.

It must be really diffcult, but as far as i know they are entitled to ask even more private questions...including positions, which i agree is disgusting cause it is not of their business, but at the same time getting in their shoes i understand why they do it.
I had the same experience when i got married. The priest was as inquisitive as this interviwer or worse, he asked not just about sex, but he even asked me if i was a lesbian or if he was gay...i thought they were the most stupid questions in the world, but hey i wanted to get married.

My dear friend you know I love you to death cuz you have been of great help to me and to many here in this website.. And as a friend you know what my advice to is and always have been regarding him. You a wonderful smart beautiful woman who deserves a man that will treat you like a queen and is willing to help you out and not give you more problems. WHAT DOESN'T KILL YOU MAKES YOU STRONGER