ThomKimQC

I live in a southern state (GA) and I understand your frustration TCO, many folks here feel the same way you do, but come on man we can send a rocket to the moon but no one in government has a clue about proper HUMAN relations. Instead of vilifying a certain ethnic group for crossing the border illegally in search of a better life why not put heads together and solve the issue humanely geez. That is what's wrong with America, we seem to always quickly cast out and throw dirt on anything outside the norm, if its not strictly by the book then Big Gov't do not want to deal. It's this collective habits of thought that keep us as a country from reaching our true potential. We need to stop voting these same old bigot buzzards into office ad get past the old, established ways of the past and become more creative dealing with humans. Goodness, if GM can finally build an automobile where the bumper stays on then I know thinking heads can come together and find solutions to human relation issues. I mean seriously this thread was about a life being taken abruptly.

LOL very true indeed...I never complain about any of my trips to Phils because I know as soon as I am off that plane I am a walking neon sign. I just grin and bear it. On a side note everytime I land in Phils a go right up to Kuya and ask to borrow his phone to call my Kimmy and they are have alwasy been cool with me. Sometimes you just have to know how to speak the language, smile and offer a fair tip always seem to get me in good graces.
Thom

I live in a southern state (GA) and I understand your frustration TCO, many folks here feel the same way you do, but come on man we can send a rocket to the moon but no one in government has a clue about proper HUMAN relations. Instead of vilifying a certain ethnic group for crossing the border illegally in search of a better life why not put heads together and solve the issue humanely geez. That is what's wrong with America, we seem to always quickly cast out and throw dirt on anything outside the norm, if its not strictly by the book then Big Gov't do not want to deal. It's this collective habits of thought that keep us as a country from reaching our true potential. We need to stop voting these same old bigot buzzards into office ad get past the old, established ways of the past and become more creative dealing with humans. Goodness, if GM can finally build an automobile where the bumper stays on then I know thinking heads can come together and find solutions to human relation issues. I mean seriously this thread was about a life being taken abruptly.

I live in a southern state (GA) and I understand your frustration TCO, many folks here feel the same way you do, but come on man we can send a rocket to the moon but no one in government has a clue about proper HUMAN relations. Instead of vilifying a certain ethnic group for crossing the border illegally in search of a better life why not put heads together and solve the issue humanely geez. That is what's wrong with America, we seem to always quickly cast out and throw dirt on anything outside the norm, if its not strictly by the book then Big Gov't do not want to deal. It's this collective habits of thought that keep us as a country from reaching our true potential. We need to stop voting these same old bigot buzzards into office ad get past the old, established ways of the past and become more creative dealing with humans. Goodness, if GM can finally build an automobile where the bumper stays on then I know thinking heads can come together and find solutions to human relation issues. I mean seriously this thread was about a life being taken abruptly.

Isn't it amazing how certian states (TX,AZ) economy benefitted from the backs of these so-called non-english speaking illegal immigrants for decades and now due to the economic meltdown that started with that other Bush time to round em up and ship em back. Fact is anyone who lives in the soutern states of America, that house you are so comfortable in more than likely was built by some illegals. I live in Ga and I say forget the good people standing on the corner each day trying to find work to send back home, how about we start taxing Canada for all their d@mn illegal Canadian geese taking over.

Isn't it amazing how certian states (TX,AZ) economy benefitted from the backs of these so-called non-english speaking illegal immigrants for decades and now due to the economic meltdown that started with that other Bush time to round em up and ship em back. Fact is anyone who lives in the soutern states of America, that house you are so comfortable in more than likely was built by some illegals. I live in Ga and I say forget the good people standing on the corner each day trying to find work to send back home, how about we start taxing Canada for all their d@mn illegal Canadian geese taking over.

when a person, whether a man or a woman asks for a pre-nup - it means that person was hurt very bad in the past and is having difficulty trusting a new partner as far as finances is concerned. try and talk to your fiance about this. what exactly is bugging him before you throw yourself into the fire. I can see from your details that you are more or less established in Singapore. sayang kung iiwan mo ang naumpisahan mo, tapos mag uumpisa ka sa wala pagdating mo dito.
alam mo, hindi naiiba ang condition ko sa'yo. that's why even if I haven't slept yet, I logged in here to send you this reply. I used to work in an embassy in the Phils. my daughter studies in a private school and I have a small but beautiful and well equipped apartment in Makati. in other words, love na lang talaga ang kulang. when my friend (now my husband) proposed marriage, we had lots of arrangement. kse nga we both had bad relationship in the past. hindi man in writing, we held strong to these arrangements. on my part ayaw ko ng sinungaling, baon sa utang at maraming issues sa buhay. on his part, he asked that I don't take his house (in case the relationship doesn't work out) and I help out sa bayaran sa bahay.
fast forward. 1-hr before I met my in-laws, my fiance told me about a pre-nup I need to sign. I wasn't shocked but I was wondering why. gosh, kung kelan I am already in the US why bring that up? fine, we met my in-laws. they started talking about my fiance's ex etc etc. I was very straight forward with them. they can put whatever conditions in the pre-nup provided I get to put 3 conditions for myself: 1) let me and help me find work. the soonest I find work, I will find my own house so he could keep his house if that means so much to him 2) though shall not get jealous of my job and make an issue out of it. I have a record of being dedicated and passionate at work, palagi ako na po-promote na nagiging cause ng insecurity ng lalake. and 3) in case the relationship turns bad, give me at least 30days notice to pack my stuff and leave. no questions asked.
believe it or not, I didn't even see the paper they were talking about!!! that was in Sep2010.
I will confess that of my 7mos marriage, about 80% is hell - thanks to my stepchildren. now na nakuha ko na EAD ko at SSN, I am able to look for a job. my aim is to find my own place to stay and be independent. I told my husband na since hindi tao ang trato sa akin ng mga anak nya, hindi ako magbabayad ng share ko sa utilities. nek nek nya! anyway, grabe and competition dito with regards to work. even if you are educated, the opportunity is limited - depends on which state you reside.
so if I were you, pag-isipan mong mabuti. aanhin mo ang pag-ibig kung araw-araw umiiyak ka... hindi pa kayo kasal ganyan na ang conditions nyo. what more kung kasal na kayo at magbago na naman ang isip nya?

I concur with some of the response here about the PRE-NUP: However, not everyone have the same view or perspective about wether a pre-nup is good or bad.
But in the name of true love, you have to trust and have faith to each other. Relationships aren't perfect and no marriage that doesn't go through a lot of ups and downs.
In my own view, and if I were him regardless of what I have, that my love to a woman will be because of love that comes deep inside my heart. I'm not saying that he doesn't love you that deep or anything
but, the only way to figure that out is to trust each other in every day of your life.
Remember: money can't buy true love....... no matter how much billions you have......
I hope that you will have a time with him to discuss about this matter and soon have a resolution. but remember always follow what you think is right and what makes you happy...
Goodluck!!!!!!!

So as many of you guys already know who have been to Phils that some malls men CR's in Pines do not have toilet paper readily available. So I excuse myself from the table becasue after eating a pleasant lunch in the Food court I felt a rumbling in the ole tummy. I tell my lady I will be back shortly and I two step it to the CR. Two pinoy are at the mirror dolling themselves up as I slip and slide in (wet floors). I open up an empty stall and prepare myself for quality relaxtion time. I hear the two out at the mirror laughing but I ignore them and after I am done doing my business I reach for the tissue paper, BUT wait it's not where its suppose to be. I am like "WTH" so now I am totally screwed at this point. Do I get up and penguin walk to the next stall for tissue Do I swallow my pride and ask for assistance from those primadonna's in front of the mirror so I asked them for some assistance with toilet paper. One guy said $350 peso and at this point I was in no position to bargain so I said 250 peso now and 100 when he hands me the paper. Sur eenough the guy was true to his word and handed me the paper so I handed him the 100 peso. I was able to escape that embarassing moment. Low and behold on my exit from the comfort room I see where you are to purchase a packet of toilet tissue for 50 peso Kimmy till this day knew nothing about my Mall CR adventure

You seem to be a good guy I can truly tell that by the way you are trying to admit your fault. Enough people including myself have given you pure hell on your situation. Being American at times we are looked upon in a different light than pinoy. Our words are often twisted or misunderstood, I know because I had issue sin the past with this same problem with a couple Phil ladies. I don't know your lady and I can't feel her heart only you how she makes you feel aside from the money issue. My question to you is how does she make you feel when money is not topic of conversation when you talk or together? I am like you sir , looks does not matter to me as you expressed she is not the most beautiful lady in Phils but its her charm and that is what makes a woman from Phils so unique, the unforgotten charm that captures your soul. I know how you feel and it was wrong of me to judge you or her in my earlier post. You are reaching out for help and all we are giving is headache. If you truly love this woman from your heart to hers then open up to her and tell her how hurt you are from the things she says, make her feel your sore heart beat because I promise you if she truly loves you for you then she will admit her wrong and re-establish her devotion to you because that is how I true lady of the Phils do...they have a love like no other and I bet you have experienced that love before from her or you would not be here trying to find asnwers to your situation. If she truly loves you friend she will come to you and show how blessed she is to have a guy like you in her life.
Thom

You seem to be a good guy I can truly tell that by the way you are trying to admit your fault. Enough people including myself have given you pure hell on your situation. Being American at times we are looked upon in a different light than pinoy. Our words are often twisted or misunderstood, I know because I had issue sin the past with this same problem with a couple Phil ladies. I don't know your lady and I can't feel her heart only you how she makes you feel aside from the money issue. My question to you is how does she make you feel when money is not topic of conversation when you talk or together? I am like you sir , looks does not matter to me as you expressed she is not the most beautiful lady in Phils but its her charm and that is what makes a woman from Phils so unique, the unforgotten charm that captures your soul. I know how you feel and it was wrong of me to judge you or her in my earlier post. You are reaching out for help and all we are giving is headache. If you truly love this woman from your heart to hers then open up to her and tell her how hurt you are from the things she says, make her feel your sore heart beat because I promise you if she truly loves you for you then she will admit her wrong and re-establish her devotion to you because that is how I true lady of the Phils do...they have a love like no other and I bet you have experienced that love before from her or you would not be here trying to find asnwers to your situation. If she truly loves you friend she will come to you and show how blessed she is to have a guy like you in her life.
Thom

I started the first and second quarter it was a hard fought first half against a stingy USCIS defense. I tell you we hit them with everything we had but they would not rollover. At Halftime we needed a new game plan. I looked down my bewildered bench for a spark. Saw my ole Senator Saxby Chambliss there holding up a sign " I maybe small but I can help," took him off the bench and provided us the spark we needed for the second half.
My lil buddy Chambliss went into the huddle called a play, we lined up nose to nose against that touted USCIS defense, Chambliss called an audible, the ball hiked and USCIS blitzed our offense. Chambliss faked right then left, saw his lil lady Kimmy breaking free down the seam he launches a tight Packet 3 spiral 50 yeards down field, Kim runs underneath reaches out grabs it, she's at the NVC 40, the DHL 30, the US Embassy/Manila 20, Visa fee 15, St. Lukes 10, US Embassy Interview tries a shoe lace tackle, kim stublles stays on her feet...she is at the 5, stretches out and APPROVED!!!!The crowd goes wild...Chambliss made the right read at the line of scrimmage. Coming to America!
Thanks to all the VJ friends who helped us with our journey we really appreciate you all and God Bless.
Thom and Kim-

Everyone is giving good advice here and I hope you listen to this for your own safety.
I do have one immigration related question to this. If a person in this situation decides not to get married and returns to their home country, does it cause any issues for later K1 or CR1 petitions? And is there some way that USCIS can be notified of why they person is returning to their home without getting married so that there is information already on file in case they do file again with another petitioner later?

More than likely, in the wrong section for this kind of question. Wow, do I have a wonderful wife now, but neither her or me were smart enough to realize that in our younger years. Just literally all kinds of chemical imbalances in the brain with some kind of people. And you quickly learn that in the sacrament of holy matrimony, that the Holy spirit does not fly down from heaven and make things all right.
If you think its bad now, wait until you get hitched, then it really gets miserable, in the case of my wife, her ex started to beat her. Would sure like to meet that guy, but already had enough legal problems with him, but he more than met his match. I can't believe anyone would treat her like this, she is and still is, the sweetest person I have ever met, anywhere.
If you want my advice, don't walk away from this guy, RUN! No this behavior is not normal, he should be treating you like a queen, bring you flowers, and do just about everything for you.
I had to put a retaining order on my ex, not that I couldn't have flattened her with one punch, but was very cognizant of the legal implications, even got full physical custody of my kids. Now that is rare for a guy.
Oh, my children positively love their new stepmom.

Hi, I'm an American man and I can tell you 100% that this is NOT normal behavior for an American man. This is normal behavior for a BAD man (of any nationality). I hate to be the one who says it, but as an American man I've noticed some other American man want to marry a foreign national for the wrong reasons. Some of them, it sounds like your fiance might be one, want to marry a foreign national woman because he believe she will be more submissive and put up with more of his sh*t. Many many more American men are like me. I'm marrying my fiancee because she's the love of my life, her nationality is just part of who she is (though she does have one heck of a cute accent). Most American men, when looking for a wife are looking for a partner for life's journey, but unfortunatly, some men are looking for a servent they can sleep with too. It's really unfortunate, and I'm sorry to say it looks like you're in a situation like this. It's not a typical trait of all American men, but it is a typical trait of all CONTROLING men who use abusive behavior to intimidate thier spouses into doing whatever they want without question. It's not fair to say that it's only men who act this way. Unfortunatly when you add the visa process to the equasion maybe he feels you "owe him" (and you DON'T) There are women who act this way too (and use moodiness to manipulate their significant other). I wouldn't tell you to leave your fiance. This is a personal decision, but I will say, I would have a talk to him and demand the respect you deserve. You don't need him to have a good life and you don't need him to get married. Marriage is about love and partnership and mutual respect. If he can't give you these things freely, then he can't be a good husband and you need to seriously consider going home before it's too late. There are other men. If you're attracted to Americans in general, I can tell you that there are MANY American men who will treat you with the love and respect you deserve.
I'll say this one last thought, and I hope you really think about it. If he can treat you poorly, he will probably treat your CHILDREN (if you have any or will have any) poorly too. So it's not just you getting hurt. It's your children too who need you to protect them. Even if he never lays a hand on you or your children, growing up in a house where you can't predict when your parent may have a violent mood swing is a scary and unstable enviornment that could cause major damage to their psyche.
Please remember, you deserve love and RESPECT. You don't need to stay in any situation where you are not receiving both freely. I hope your fiance realizes this and realizes what a huge sacrifice you have made for him (leaving behind your home and family).
Take care.

Hi please do not judge all American men by someone's out the park comment. I myself am a black American that has been to Phils several times in my life and I absolutely enjoy and respect the country and it's people. When I am there the people do not see my color well let me back up, certain remote areas I get a fair share of stares, shy smiles, and hey Joe...but for the most part I am treated with respect and return the favor. There are so many beautiful women in Phils and the temptation to be a bad boy is tremendous, but finding the one woman who you click with is key and stick to her is the remedy for doggish ways. The ultimate key here is maturity and respect for women, not just pinay but every woman.
Take care

Creeps you out! Wow you need your own talk show with that one. Don't turn my post into your version of negativity. That is what's wrong with the world too ultra sensitive.

Sorry for the hurt you are going thru now. But it is a small hurt compared to what you will feel if you stay with him. The reason he doesn't let you go with him to see his son is probably because the mother is there and he spends time with her, too.
You deserve to spend time with someone you can trust, who will love you and be faithful to you. Best of luck to you!