Did you change your religion for your Desi SO?

[deathbydalbhat 0]

This section seems a little inactive, so I thought I would try to get some discussion going. I got this idea from a similar thread on the MENA forum. For those who are engaged/married to S. Asians, did you change your religion after you met them or are you practicing the same as before? Did you have or are planning a traditional religious wedding ceremony? How are you or will you bring up your children? Did you become interested in Hinduism, Islam, Buddhism etc before you met him/her? In my case the last statement is true - I am a practicing Buddhist with Hindu leanings(in Nepal people often blend the two) and had been practicing for a few years before I even met Kumar. In fact, I was going to the temple to do puja when I met him and we say that Lord Shiva brought us together. The first thing I noticed about Kumar(besides his gorgeous smile) was a rare Gauri Shankar rudraksha bead(sacred to Lord Shiva) around his neck, and I commented on it, which was our first conversation that started everything. When I came back to the states I looked up Gauri Shankar rudraksha - the Hindu scriptures say that it represents Shiva and Pavarti and that wearing it will help you 'recognize your life partner'... In our case that is certainly true!

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

Not really applicable to us. Both my wife and I were raised Hindu. She still claims to believe (I've never seen her pray though) but I don't even go that far.

[chri'stina 190]

You're right, this section is inactive and I wonder how long it will take for more people to answer.

To answer the Q's...

No, I didn't change my religion. I am a Christian and wanted to marry a Christian, which Sujeet is also. He didn't change for me either, he already was into Christianity before I met him, even though he was born into a Hindu family, hence his name being Hindu. His family is still Hindu. But what started our talking online was that Sujeet was looking for a Christian to ask things to, someone who maybe knew more about the bible than him. He hardly knew any Christians so that's why he decided to find someone online to discuss the bible with and someone who would be willing to help him possibly find answers to certain Q's he had about it. So our first online talking was not flirty but serious. Some may think it was unromantic, but we both had a lot of fun discussing/debating with each other and did get feelings for each other not too long after.

We are both very devoted to our faith and active in our church. So how you believe you were brought together, we believe that too that God brought us together because neither of us ever imaged marrying someone from another country, also not someone from the internet!

[Saddle Bronc 124]

Also true that neither of us changed for the other.

Both of us are born-again Christians (originally Hindus) but came to this quite independently (Pras in India in 1983, myself in Atlanta in 1994).

[lak&ajm 0]

Ok...looks like I am the first one here who is not of the same religion as my SO. I am Christian and very active in my church. He is technically Hindu, but not very active. He likes to say he is more spiritual than religious and I completely understand and respect that.

He does know about my religion though. While he was here attending college he went to a dinner/Bible study my church provides for international students at our local university. This is actually how we met up for the second time. I had decided to start attending these and there he was!

Neither one of us plans on changing at this time. He has been sharing information with me about Hinduism and of course I have been doing a little studying on my own. Once he gets here I know I will learn more.

We are going to have a civil ceremony at the courthouse a couple of weeks after he arrives. I do not have any problem NOT being married in a church - a wedding is a wedding and my church recognizes civil ceremonies. I do not think my church would have a problem marrying us, but I figure this will be just as easy and more comfortable for him.

We are not planing on having any children. I already have one daughter and personally I feel I am too old - I will be 43 next month.

And thanks for starting this thread! I have to admit I wish this forum was more active. I just cannot think of threads to start, but I will participate!

Lori

[Charuhans 0]

I am a practising Hindu and my wife though not active is Christian. We got married in India; a traditional hindu wedding! Nobody raised any questions about my wife's religion nor expressed any thoughts about religious conversion. My parents and sibilings thought that even airing such views would be an insult to my wife. We were not so sure about the priests who conducted the ceremony but when we talked to them they assured us that there is no such thing as "both the spouses have to be of the same religion and that the non-hindu has to convert" hence they were not concerned. But then we were not surprised since Hinduism is such a tolerant faith, more a way of life than a institutional religion. Of course, there will be exceptions (that proves the rule, doesn't it?) and some people will be very difficult but my experience is that they use it as a front to hide their real reasons for opposing the marriage.

I know a bit about Bhuddism since there is a large Bhuddist population in India. A very peaceful and tolerant people who I have never even heard on insisting on religious uniformity for marriage. Hence, anybody who is getting into a relationship with a Bhuddist need not worry on that front.

India also has a large (the second largest in the world) muslim population. But I am not very familiar with their ways hence can't say anything. Don't want to just mention what we I read in the newspaper and see on TV and then get flamed.

[w¡n9Nµ7 §£@¥€r 123]

India also has a large (the second largest in the world) muslim population. But I am not very familiar with their ways hence can't say anything. Don't want to just mention what we I read in the newspaper and see on TV and then get flamed.

I am always amazed at Indian Hindus in the US who grew up in India but claim to unfamiliarity with Indian Muslims. Muslims in India are everywhere, they are teachers, bankers, policemen, your neighbor, the kid who sits next to you in school.... how can you be unfamiliar? Perhaps it is a function of the part of India you grew up in? I grew up in eastern UP where the communities are very integrated.

Edited January 14, 2007 by Gupt

[ManuNSam 1]

Me and my husband are also different religions.

im christian hes sikh. we kept our own religions.

In fact being different is part of what brought us together believe it or not.

my curiousity about his religion caused many questions and discussions and a few requests for trips to temples. Since i never thought i would be returning to india (i was there on a short term assignment when i met him) i thought i had nothing to loose by asking him ANYTHING.

However i do have to say that it has been not so accepting by my friends at home - especially from church. i dont really see those guys anymore. my parents and relatives are fine with it though - thank goodness.

i am a practicing christian - in fact i had been fairly involved in missions before i got engaged.

my husband is also a practicing sikh - he does do his prayers each day and follows all traditional practices........however he doesnt have a turban or a beard.

if anything i feel that having my husband in my life has made me a stronger christian. being in india and being with my husband has made me review everything i know as religion. and i have learned so much about his. i feel even more defined in my beliefs and realized some things i think are ridiculous.

i also dont think that other couples have had nearly as many conversations about religion as we have had with each other. so to all my friends from church that gave me woes when i first got engaged - i knew i had shared more with my man than they had with thiers. i doubt any of them ahve even questioned thier religion - they just go to chruch every week and feel good.

im really interested in hearing others chat about thier thoughts and feelings on this topic.

to even go futher with this topic, id like to add to the question how your friends and family responded to your union iwht someone of a different religion, is there anything you relearned about your religion or changed your mind about, and what plans do you have when you have children

sam

[Nikita2Charles 31]

We are both Christians, Roman Catholic

Both of us grew up as Catholic, as such there wasn't much of a problem religion wise, Culture wise yes

Having traveled and been for years in India. I became well verse regarding the Culture. I've been to Garnisha Festival around July, Shiva festival around Feb, went and see the pooja and used to get lots of religious status gif.

The funny thing, most people didn't know my fiancee was Indian, so it was like the suprise at the wedding reception in Queens, So when everybody got there, they were like hmmmm how come, she doesnt' have a typical India name, that was a great night, everybody had a great time. Before traveling to India i used to have a different perception about Hindu, why so many gods, then later on when i live there, meet with the people, and get insight knowledge, and based on the informations I got. In Hindu they do have different Gods, like Shiva, Garnisha, but they do recognized the Almighty God which they refer to as the Supreme Being. The same way we have saints, prophet, Muhamed, they have their God to help them get closer to the almighty. Maybe someone else might add some more insight. In my philosophy we are all children of the almighty, depending on what part of the planet we end up we will pick up different language, culture, customs and differnt shape into different societies.

One luv

Me and my husband are also different religions.

im christian hes sikh. we kept our own religions.

In fact being different is part of what brought us together believe it or not.

my curiousity about his religion caused many questions and discussions and a few requests for trips to temples. Since i never thought i would be returning to india (i was there on a short term assignment when i met him) i thought i had nothing to loose by asking him ANYTHING.

However i do have to say that it has been not so accepting by my friends at home - especially from church. i dont really see those guys anymore. my parents and relatives are fine with it though - thank goodness.

i am a practicing christian - in fact i had been fairly involved in missions before i got engaged.

my husband is also a practicing sikh - he does do his prayers each day and follows all traditional practices........however he doesnt have a turban or a beard.

if anything i feel that having my husband in my life has made me a stronger christian. being in india and being with my husband has made me review everything i know as religion. and i have learned so much about his. i feel even more defined in my beliefs and realized some things i think are ridiculous.

i also dont think that other couples have had nearly as many conversations about religion as we have had with each other. so to all my friends from church that gave me woes when i first got engaged - i knew i had shared more with my man than they had with thiers. i doubt any of them ahve even questioned thier religion - they just go to chruch every week and feel good.

im really interested in hearing others chat about thier thoughts and feelings on this topic.

to even go futher with this topic, id like to add to the question how your friends and family responded to your union iwht someone of a different religion, is there anything you relearned about your religion or changed your mind about, and what plans do you have when you have children

sam

[Donna A 4]

my husband is muslim and im christian. nope i wouldnt change for anything in the world either.

[Saddle Bronc 124]

my husband is muslim and im christian. nope i wouldnt change for anything in the world either.

Not sure on this post--as neither of you is desi (Sub-continental)

Edited January 15, 2007 by CherryXS

[JanaknJanet 0]

I am a Non-practicing Roman Catholic... .. after my divorce .. I stopped going to conventional church.. mainly the day .. probably 8 years after my divorce... I was confronted by a church member told.. ohhh since you are divorced.. you are welcome to come in... I asked.. hey I never knew i was not allowed... haha.. that was probably the last day i attended formal church. ..

Since then.. I have searched many different religions... .. Christianiaty, Budhist Taoism. While working on my Masters in Oriental Medicine.. I had the gift of a opportunity to travel 45 days in China. Had numerous opportunities to study with some of the Budhist priest.. went to the White Cloud temple in Beijing.. got to sit with the oldest Taoist priest at the time. Given the fact I was on a QiGong excersion... we had many doors open that we had otherwise not had gotten. Ever since then I have learned that no matter what the religion... we all ultimaetly are believing in primarily the same thing... stepping out of the box.. looking at the whole picture. it is a part of spirituality .. the belief.. that is important.

I learned it is not the formality but the thought and belief... whether you call it your quest via Christianity or Budism, Taoism .. Muslim.. Hindi... .. do we not all seek the same enlightenment?

Janak is from Gujurat. He is Hindi. He knows I have my beliefs but do not go to formal church... I know he goes and I look forward to learning his religion as well as he mine.

I dont think it would be a matter of either of us changing our religion but accepting each other for who we are and blending giving each other what we both have to offer. that is what makes us .. us..

[Saddle Bronc 124]

I am a Non-practicing Roman Catholic... .. after my divorce .. I stopped going to conventional church.. mainly the day .. probably 8 years after my divorce... I was confronted by a church member told.. ohhh since you are divorced.. you are welcome to come in... I asked.. hey I never knew i was not allowed... haha.. that was probably the last day i attended formal church. ..

Since then.. I have searched many different religions... .. Christianiaty, Budhist Taoism. While working on my Masters in Oriental Medicine.. I had the gift of a opportunity to travel 45 days in China. Had numerous opportunities to study with some of the Budhist priest.. went to the White Cloud temple in Beijing.. got to sit with the oldest Taoist priest at the time. Given the fact I was on a QiGong excersion... we had many doors open that we had otherwise not had gotten. Ever since then I have learned that no matter what the religion... we all ultimaetly are believing in primarily the same thing... stepping out of the box.. looking at the whole picture. it is a part of spirituality .. the belief.. that is important.

I learned it is not the formality but the thought and belief... whether you call it your quest via Christianity or Budism, Taoism .. Muslim.. Hindi... .. do we not all seek the same enlightenment?

Janak is from Gujurat. He is Hindi. He knows I have my beliefs but do not go to formal church... I know he goes and I look forward to learning his religion as well as he mine.

I dont think it would be a matter of either of us changing our religion but accepting each other for who we are and blending giving each other what we both have to offer. that is what makes us .. us..

Mistake at the two bolded points: "Hindi" is the national language of India (spoken "native" by 45%, and understood-but-non-native by an additional 15-20%); the religion is HindU.

[deathbydalbhat 0]

Since then.. I have searched many different religions... .. Christianiaty, Budhist Taoism. While working on my Masters in Oriental Medicine.. I had the gift of a opportunity to travel 45 days in China. Had numerous opportunities to study with some of the Budhist priest.. went to the White Cloud temple in Beijing.. got to sit with the oldest Taoist priest at the time. Given the fact I was on a QiGong excersion... we had many doors open that we had otherwise not had gotten. Ever since then I have learned that no matter what the religion... we all ultimaetly are believing in primarily the same thing... stepping out of the box.. looking at the whole picture. it is a part of spirituality .. the belief.. that is important.

I learned it is not the formality but the thought and belief... whether you call it your quest via Christianity or Budism, Taoism .. Muslim.. Hindi... .. do we not all seek the same enlightenment?

Wow, you practice Qigong? Which type? I practice a little Emei qigong - I find it much easier for me than Hatha Yoga but offers a lot of the same benefits. I climbed Mt. Emei in 2005 - probably the biggest physical challenge I have faced in my life but what an incredible place!

I like to compare the quest for enlightenment in different religions and belief systems to climbing a mountain - we may come from different dirctions and follow different routes carrying different baggage but the summit is our common goal!

[JanaknJanet 0]

[

Wow, you practice Qigong? Which type? I practice a little Emei qigong - I find it much easier for me than Hatha Yoga but offers a lot of the same benefits. I climbed Mt. Emei in 2005 - probably the biggest physical challenge I have faced in my life but what an incredible place!

I like to compare the quest for enlightenment in different religions and belief systems to climbing a mountain - we may come from different dirctions and follow different routes carrying different baggage but the summit is our common goal!

First... apologies for the Hindi/Hindu.. error... dont wish to step on toes.

I practice Soaring Crane. Turtle Longivity Clapping Qigong, Essence Qigong was a member of Wu Dao Jing She InternationalQigong Society in Portland ..The Qigong trip I took China went to Bei Dai He to a mental sanitariam where they treat primarily with QiGong... a form of rolling Qigong. I am a Acupuncturist so for healing techniques Soaring Crane works well for me. I was in China 1998.. also did Mt Emei.. .. reaching the top.. climbing the stairs to the temple at the top ... tears came from no-where... was one of the biggest emotional experiences I had ever had.. sitting there above the clouds..