People just dont get it, do they?

[JVKn'CVO 11]

Hi everyone,

I'm sorry about this little rant....

As you can see by my sig, we just got our NOA2 approval. We've been apart for 5 months already during this stretch, and before that, we were lucky to see each other 2 weeks out of the year for the last 3 years. It is very hard, as many of you know. What is even harder is that this time, we have an infant. We made the agonizing decision, once we found out I was pregnant, to wait till he was born to file the I129f, because we didnt want to take the chance that things would get tied up to the point where it might have been difficult for him to re-enter the US for the birth while our case was pending. So, he's been away from his little baby for the last 5 months.

I know many of you can relate to the pain of simply being away from your sweetie for months and months on end, and I know many of you can also relate to having children separated from one parent for months and months on end.

So, here comes my rant....

After all of this, with friends and family knowing darned well how long we're always separated for, when we finally get some good news (the NOA2 being approved), we barely get any kind of response. A gentle "hey, grats" is about the extent, and some people could not even muster that much!

How can these people claim to care so much about me/us, and see me/us suffer for so long, and not seem to care that this waiting is getting closer to being over?

If people have not been thru this, they simply cannot fathom how painful it is to be separated from the one we love. What's funny is, these same people miss their SO when they go away for a weekend or a week, or they commplain when their SO works too many hours in one week...and I want to say "At least you can see your SO at some point during the week! I've been apart from my SO for 5 months, and last year we were separated for nearly the entire year!". They just cannot fathom it, or do not attempt to think about it I guess?

Anyone else get frustrated at stuff like this?

Hi lovemyaussie,

Sometimes is not that "they don't care", sometimes is just that we forget people who haven't been through this process don't know about it. Something like "we just got approved by the office in the US, now the next step is to get the approval by the local embassy, and he can move here! this second part should be much faster that the first part, so we are really close to being together again!" might help your friends really understand how big of a deal this first approval is, and join you in celebrating the good news

Saludos,

Caro

[B'sA 0]

Yep,that's human nature 'though!

You know it's hard when you're laying in bed with a broken leg, but when you actioly are in this position it's so damn hard and difficult...My point is that a human being is most of the time the center of her own world, and we can be supportive and understanding, but we can never realise what's going on in somebody else's heart.

Don't takeit like an offense, they love you...really! That's not about you.

Why don't you celebrate instead?

Woo-hoo,you've got reasons!!!

[Laurence+Lauren 0]

Hey, Lovemyaussie, congratulations for you two! I can’t begin to think how hard it must be for you both, from both sides, with a baby in the mix. I have much respect for what you’re doing and I hope they don’t keep you waiting a second more than is absolutely necessary.

I thought I’d give you all a taste of things from the immigrant’s point of view, as there’s many similar feelings and experiences but also some different things too. For instance, I totally get the fact that others have no idea what we’re going through or why we’re doing this. Fortunately for me, these people are in the minority. For the most part, the people who I’ve told have shown a genuine interest in the whole process, and especially my relationship with Lauren, how we met, when we’ll marry etc, etc. Even my customers at work ask me how things are going on that front every time they pop in!

The interesting aspect has been telling my family. There are some who are genuinely pleased for me, after all the bad treatment I received at the hands of my ex, they’re glad that I’ve finally found someone who appreciates me. And, regardless of the fact I’ll have to move away to be with Lauren, they’re still happy for me. But there are some members of my family, particularly those members considerably older than me that I don’t see that often, who treat me as if I’m making some kind of ghastly mistake, and think I’m in danger of being ‘tricked’ by this ‘strange’ internet-love. It shows that not only do they have no grasp of the situation, but also that they are too selfish just to be happy for me. I know ALL my family will miss me when I go. But I was really disappointed when those few people chose to react that way. I wouldn’t mind if they had some genuine reason for concern, but it’s all unfounded. They are just making excuses because they don’t want me to go away. Well, if I lived my life trying to please those negative people, I’d never find my happiness. I just wish they could be big enough to be happy for me.

On a day-to-day basis, I’ve actually stopped talking about Lauren now. I hate the thought of being a jukebox with just the one tune. But if someone asks me, I’ll talk their ears off about her and the whole process! But I’m guessing most people do the same in this situation. It’s not just days we have to wait, it’s MONTHS. So for the good of those around us, we lock up a lot of the anguish of missing our SO’s. I think for that reason, we insulate others as to what we are really going through. So when something truly great happens with our applications they don’t appreciate it for what it is. Perhaps they mistakenly assume that it doesn’t affect us that much. But I guess it’s really that inner circle of people that counts. The people we do tell how much it hurts and how long we have to wait. At the end of the day, as long as my SO and I are happy once we get to the stage to start celebrating stuff, I don’t really care whether other people understand or not. Still, it’d be nice if they did, wouldn’t it?