Jump to content

What can your fiance do once they get here?


4 posts in this topic

Recommended Posts

Filed: Country: Peru

Hey all,

My girlfriend and I are starting to think about getting engaged and are trying to plan things correctly. My girlfriend does not speak English very well, and I am nervous about this. What have other people in my position done to help their significant other assimilate to American culture? What did they do to learn English and to find a job? What did they during their first months here while they weren't working and were dependent on the USC? It just seems like those first few months are critical to the success of a relationship with a foreigner...Any advice or experiences would be great.



Link to comment
Share on other sites

I have a friend whose wife came here from Ecuador. She had the equivalent of a BBA and already spoke English a bit, but then as soon as she got here, he put her in a 4-week intensive English class through the local university. (Maybe it was 6 weeks?) I mean, she arrived on a Wednesday and started classes Monday—eight hours a day, five days a week.

As soon as she got her EAD, she was able to get a job working in a bank, doing substantially the same work she'd been doing in Ecuador. That was 4 years ago and she's now pretty high up in the bank.

I would look to see if your local university has any English classes for immigrants. I think most large universities do. Seriously, I think she would have been much less able to adapt to the US if she hadn't gotten such a grounding in English right off. And it gave her something to do for a month or so while she was unable to work.

Bethany (NJ, USA) & Gareth (Scotland, UK)


01 Nov 2007: N-400 FedEx'd to TSC

05 Nov 2007: NOA-1 Date

28 Dec 2007: Check cashed

05 Jan 2008: NOA-1 Received

02 Feb 2008: Biometrics notice received

23 Feb 2008: Biometrics at Albuquerque ASC

12 Jun 2008: Interview letter received

12 Aug 2008: Interview at Albuquerque DO--PASSED!

15 Aug 2008: Oath Ceremony


Any information, opinions, etc., given by me are based entirely on personal experience, observations, research common sense, and an insanely accurate memory; and are not in any way meant to constitute (1) legal advice nor (2) the official policies/advice of my employer.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The local community colleges often have ESL courses and would be cheaper than a university per se. As for assimulating, get her out there to meet your friends and as she gets more confident with her English see if she would like to join some kind of activity, swimming club, art class or anything similar that is within the community. Coming from England, I obviously did not have a language problem, but still found it very hard to settle here to start with. What helped me was meeting my husbands friends, who we now go out to lunch with every Saturday. Being dependant when you are used to working and being out regularly is hard too, so I think the key is to make sure that she doesn't feel isolated, especially if you are at work all day. Also, I would say not to expect it to be plain sailing, there might well be times when it seems really hard, but if you have faith in each other, you'll get through those times.

Best of luck to you



16th December 2005 - Sent I-130, AOS, EAD & AP USPS overnight to Chicago Lockbox

18th December 2005 - Received at Chicago 9.18pm.

23rd December 2005 - NOAs for I-130, AOS, EAD, AP!! Didn't expect them that quickly

13th January 2006 - RFE for Medical and additional I-864 info

17th January 2006 - INFOPASS Apt about RFE.

23rd January 2006 - Appointment notice for Biometrics on 10th Feb.

10th February 2006 - Biometrics Appointment

21st February 2006 - Medical. Cost $250 including all blood tests, Td Shot, TB test and Titers for MMR and Varicella.

27th February 2006 - Appointment with immigration lawyer re. RFE for I-864.

1st March 2006 - Final results Medical. Papers in hand to send.

10th March 2006 - RFE responses to Lees Summit

13th March 2006 - RFE responses signed for at Lees Summit

24th March 2006 - Emergency AP approved in Omaha

28th March 2006- Collected AP

31st March 2006 - EAD Approval online

7th April 2006 - EAD arrived in mailbox.

21st April 2006- Received Interview Date for 22nd June

9th May 2006- Received SSN



June 20 2008 - Package mailed to CSC under new rules. Would have been an NSC transfer

June 23 2008 - Package recieved at CSC

June 27 2008 - Recieve NOA1

July 16 2008 - Biometrics

July 17 2008 - Touched

September 9 2008 - Card production ordered

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Filed: Country: Belarus

While I cannot help you with the English advice (my wife was an English teacher), I can tell you what we did before she got her work documents and Green Card.

Yes, your wife will be totally dependent on you for many things and you will have to be her mentor for quite a while. The first 6 months was the toughest for us. My wife and stepdaughter (then 18 years old) had never owned or driven an automobile. That was one of the first things we worked on since we live in car dependent Houston. Public transportation just plain sucks in our city.

Fortunately I already had ties to the Russian speaking community in our city and they were always available to give advice. We also live in a district with Russian grocery shops near our house. These things helped in the transition and assimilation.

There is a huge learning curve involved on both sides. I spent a lot of time learning what I had to do get them driver's licenses, Social Security Cards, employment authorization, Green Cards, etc. I found that I could get my stepdaughter her driver's license, put her on my medical insurance, and enroll her in our local community college without needing a Social Security Card. My K-1 fiancee applied for a Social Security Card before we were even married, but my K-2 stepdaughter couldn't get her's until she got her EAD after we filed for AoS. What a headache!!!

The transition was more difficult for my stepdaughter because she left all of her friends and had to make new friends. It took her more time to get adjusted. However it was her choice to leave and come to America with her mom. She was already graduated from high school there and her mom offered to give her their apartment in Belarus.

Just keeping them busy and occupied until they could legally work was a chore at times.

After more than 2 years in the USA they both have driver's licenses, jobs, Green Cards, friends, etc. We're cool.

So my advice would be to try to live in a city that has a significant Hispanic community, enroll her in ESL, and help her to get all the documents and tools to assimilate into American life. It will take a lot of your help and support to accomplish that. Believe me...it is not easy and will take a lot of extra effort on your part to make it happen.

"Credibility in immigration policy can be summed up in one sentence: Those who should get in, get in; those who should be kept out, are kept out; and those who should not be here will be required to leave."

"...for the system to be credible, people actually have to be deported at the end of the process."

US Congresswoman Barbara Jordan (D-TX)

Testimony to the House Immigration Subcommittee, February 24, 1995

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Didn't find the answer you were looking for? Ask our VJ Immigration Lawyers.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
- Back to Top -

Important Disclaimer: Please read carefully the Visajourney.com Terms of Service. If you do not agree to the Terms of Service you should not access or view any page (including this page) on VisaJourney.com. Answers and comments provided on Visajourney.com Forums are general information, and are not intended to substitute for informed professional medical, psychiatric, psychological, tax, legal, investment, accounting, or other professional advice. Visajourney.com does not endorse, and expressly disclaims liability for any product, manufacturer, distributor, service or service provider mentioned or any opinion expressed in answers or comments. VisaJourney.com does not condone immigration fraud in any way, shape or manner. VisaJourney.com recommends that if any member or user knows directly of someone involved in fraudulent or illegal activity, that they report such activity directly to the Department of Homeland Security, Immigration and Customs Enforcement. You can contact ICE via email at Immigration.Reply@dhs.gov or you can telephone ICE at 1-866-347-2423. All reported threads/posts containing reference to immigration fraud or illegal activities will be removed from this board. If you feel that you have found inappropriate content, please let us know by contacting us here with a url link to that content. Thank you.
  • Create New...