The Vent

[Krikit 1,163]

I am soooooooooooo frustrated with Revenue Canada and the Canada Pension Plan. Oh, and with the amount of time VJ is taking to load anything.

Okay. All better. *dusts off hands*

[Emancipation 2]

literally an hour away...

I'm not judging her because I've moved so far away from home or anything but as someone who has never left their own house, wouldn't you be thrilled to get out? She often complains about living at home and how stressful it can be.

What do I know..I left for university at 18 far away and never really came back after that...at least never for more than a few months.

She sounds like someone who wouldn't be happy no matter what happened.. She's what I call a yanger.

[thetreble 19]

She is never satisfied, that is what is really going to ruin him.

Why a yanger?

[Emancipation 2]

She is never satisfied, that is what is really going to ruin him.

Why a yanger?

I made up that word a while ago.. or at least I thin I made it up... anyway, it's a great word to describe someone that is a complainer..

[ozone_1974 1]

Okay so remember a few weeks ago I told you guys about the wedding saga with my future bridezilla sister in law? Well I have even more of a rant here about her so here it goes. Sorry for this guys, I have to get it out!

She writes this 25 Random Things about her on Facebook and one of the 25 things is "I can't wait for marriage and my new job.."

She doesn't even work, is still in school and is not yet looking for a job. She is the onyl person I've ever met in my life that talks about a job like she already has it.

Example: She said that she wanted to have a summer wedding because she had to spend most of August planning her classroom. She doesn't have a teacher's job, has not applied for one yet AND is not even 100% qualified to be a teacher until May.

Well her sister is even crazier then her. She has been engaged to the same guy 3 times and they keep getting back together and breaking up. I know this because she updates me every day on Facebook about her break up.

Example: "L is having a hard day today...", "L wishes she could turn back the clock"

Why and how do people do that? She said she still wants to marry him. Um, so if you get married are you going to separate every 3 months? I don't understand why people even CONSIDER getting married if they can't get along.

I was watching Dr. Phil the other day because I was bored to tears and it was about newlyweds. I don't think people realize how hard marriage can really be. This new wife had practically taken away ANY freedom her husband ever had and everything he ever loved. He had to come straight home after work to spend time with her, no longer had any friends. He moved to the city from the country for her and she made him sell his horses. He wasn't allowed to go to the gym without her.

She was sitting pretty saying , "I don't see what is wrong with wanting to spend time with my husband..."

Uh...because you've got him in a headlock and the guy is at his wits end?

I felt like I was looking at my brother in law on tv in the next couple of years. No friends, monopolized by his wife and just works to support her.

OKAY! I'm done. 1-2-3 WOOOOSSSHHHH. (my french teacher in highschool used to do that with us to get all our frustrations out)

Oh My !!!!!

I am still baffled when I see people thinking they "own" their loved one, cause nothing and nobody is a "given" on earth. I do not think THAT is love at all, I think it is more disguised insecurities (but she will never admit it until she grows up !). I really feel for that guy, but he should also be able to step out and say whatever he have to say instead of accepting everything .. in a case like this, I would say both are to blame (her for putting that guy into pity and him for not telling her that this is enough).

OKAY! I'm done. 1-2-3 WOOOOSSSHHHH.

Actually I tried the one the captain does in "bad boys" "WOOOOOOOOOOSAAAAH" works best lol

[Aaralyn 0]

I had to call in to work Tuesday because there was so much ice, and I can't drive on solid ice.

I had to call in Wednesday because the roof on the porch collapsed Tuesday night/Wed morning and we couldn't get out of the house.

I was off Thursday, so no worries.

I tried to get out to go to work today, and the van is beyond stuck. It's sitting on solid ice, and the moron... oooops I mean, ever-so-friendly neighbor was sooo nice to try and plow the snow and ice... all around my van! Even if I could get any traction to move on the ice, I have a 3 foot pile of snow and ice around the van... *sighs* Alf was out there pushing for about 30 minutes before we gave up. So, I had to call work for the 3rd time this week to tell them I can't get there until my mother is off (at 3pm) and will hopefully let me borrow her car. My boss laughed, so I'm assuming I'm not fired, but still. *grumbles*

[minnew 4]

Well I am not sure if this qualifies as a Vent or Off-Topic but here we go!! I am in the U.S right now visiting my fiance, he just PCS'd with the AF and it is my first time seeing the new city/area we will be living in! I am totally in love with it! We set up the place together! went furniture shopping and unpacked a million boxes! It feels like OUR home! I am having a hard time with not going to be able to see him for at least another 3 months, maybe more! My Vacation Leave is gone! It's no longer a 4 hour drive to see him, more like 15 hours! The wedding planning (or lack thereof) is starting to bug me too! Can't exactly plan without a date! I don't want to pick a date and put money down and not have the bride show up!! But yet I feel like I am being pressured from family to start when I won't have a date, and I have no idea how many people will RSVP due the the fact that over 90% of the guests will be from out of town! It will be a small wedding to begin with 50 or less. His family wouldn't allow a JOP wedding followed by a church wedding so now not only will I have immigration stuff to deal with, then once I get my visa I gotta plan a wedding in 6 months!!! Ok vent done! Gaaaaahhh!!!

[Krikit 1,163]

HUGZ. We've all been through it, Minnew. It'll work out.

[DeadPoolX 9]

Okay so remember a few weeks ago I told you guys about the wedding saga with my future bridezilla sister in law? Well I have even more of a rant here about her so here it goes. Sorry for this guys, I have to get it out!

She writes this 25 Random Things about her on Facebook and one of the 25 things is "I can't wait for marriage and my new job.."

She doesn't even work, is still in school and is not yet looking for a job. She is the onyl person I've ever met in my life that talks about a job like she already has it.

Example: She said that she wanted to have a summer wedding because she had to spend most of August planning her classroom. She doesn't have a teacher's job, has not applied for one yet AND is not even 100% qualified to be a teacher until May.

It sounds like she's living in some sort of fantasy world where marriage and a job will make life perfect. All I have to say to that is: "Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something."

[Emancipation 2]

I love Canada.. you guys know I do.. but honestly.. this company (in Canada) that we deal with for webhosting is the most unorganized, unprofessional & messed up place EVER... gah.. they keep closing my tickets and saying they have done what I asked, and they don't do what I ask

*we've since switched to a new web host, but trying to get lists exported etc. from the old is proving to be a bummer.

[minnew 4]

HUGZ. We've all been through it, Minnew. It'll work out.

Thank you Krikit for listening! I hope everything will work out okay, I am just overthinking everything and driving myself nuts! I am worried our case will get held up, which I won't know until it comes, but I am worried because of his job requires a TS clearance and hoping we don't end up in extra checks or something like that. His commanders told him that it will not affect his ability to get a clearance, but will USCIS put us in extra processing time?! Ok whew I need to relax! I won't make it through this process if I am like this! *deep breath*

[Danu 19]

I really need to get this off my chest so here goes.

So my parents know of the plans (obviously) for Wes and I to get married. I come home last night and my mom goes "so why didn't you go with a work visa instead of a fiance visa?" I HATE having to try to explain myself and I wish she could just stop asking me questions. If I could have gone there for a bit to just be with him first I would have, but I couldnt (its like she assumes I have looked into NOTHING) but heres a crazy idea too. I chose a Fiance visa because...uhm...I love him?????? What a wierd concept. I talked to my dad at one point because this isnt the first time she's been llike this. She toggles back and forth between super helpful and then this...and it makes me feel really torn. My dad told me its just that they are both concerned for me as Wes and I haven't been in the same physical space for very long (after his visit we will have been together in person just over a month). But what they seem to forget is any waking moment that we aren't at work we are talking to each other.

Seriously, Wes works PST night shifts, and I work EST day shifts. Our days go I get up to goto work as hes coming home to goto bed. I get home from work when he gets up, we talk till he goes to work, at which point I goto bed. We do this EVERY day. So even though we aren't in the same actual room, its like we are in the same space. We talk about anything and everything. We know about everything each other wants, from pets to kids, to future plans for jobs/educations, we talk about money, we both know about exactly how much the other one owes and have an idea of what is in each others bank accounts right now. Its not like we just decided upon this without thinking about anything.

My dad's response at one point made me sad too. He said "just remember if things don't work out, there is always divorce." I know there is. I don't really want to think about that though thanks. Wes and I were both previously in 3+ year relationships where we did everything we could to try to keep it together, so we are fighters, we will fight through any issues we may have. Neither of us is opposed to councilling either should we need it, but we both doubt that we will as we have become very good at communicating (go figure lol) and we love each other very much.

What really perturbs me as well is the fact that my parents did something very similar, at almost the exact age I am now. They only were together 6 months before they got engaged, yet somehow they think because they lived together for a longer period before engagement than Wes and I have seen each other, that they had more "quality time" or some BS. My dad was in the military so part of this time he was away on excercise too and not actually there. Wes and I have been talking for almost 2 years, every day.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok I'm done...sorry about the long post but this had me in tears last night and I'm not sure how to talk to my mom about how its making me feel because its not like I want to leave them, but I love Wes....and when I bring up my feelings to her she tends to get defensive.

[DeadPoolX 9]

I really need to get this off my chest so here goes.

So my parents know of the plans (obviously) for Wes and I to get married. I come home last night and my mom goes "so why didn't you go with a work visa instead of a fiance visa?" I HATE having to try to explain myself and I wish she could just stop asking me questions. If I could have gone there for a bit to just be with him first I would have, but I couldnt (its like she assumes I have looked into NOTHING) but heres a crazy idea too. I chose a Fiance visa because...uhm...I love him?????? What a wierd concept. I talked to my dad at one point because this isnt the first time she's been llike this. She toggles back and forth between super helpful and then this...and it makes me feel really torn. My dad told me its just that they are both concerned for me as Wes and I haven't been in the same physical space for very long (after his visit we will have been together in person just over a month). But what they seem to forget is any waking moment that we aren't at work we are talking to each other.

Seriously, Wes works PST night shifts, and I work EST day shifts. Our days go I get up to goto work as hes coming home to goto bed. I get home from work when he gets up, we talk till he goes to work, at which point I goto bed. We do this EVERY day. So even though we aren't in the same actual room, its like we are in the same space. We talk about anything and everything. We know about everything each other wants, from pets to kids, to future plans for jobs/educations, we talk about money, we both know about exactly how much the other one owes and have an idea of what is in each others bank accounts right now. Its not like we just decided upon this without thinking about anything.

My dad's response at one point made me sad too. He said "just remember if things don't work out, there is always divorce." I know there is. I don't really want to think about that though thanks. Wes and I were both previously in 3+ year relationships where we did everything we could to try to keep it together, so we are fighters, we will fight through any issues we may have. Neither of us is opposed to councilling either should we need it, but we both doubt that we will as we have become very good at communicating (go figure lol) and we love each other very much.

What really perturbs me as well is the fact that my parents did something very similar, at almost the exact age I am now. They only were together 6 months before they got engaged, yet somehow they think because they lived together for a longer period before engagement than Wes and I have seen each other, that they had more "quality time" or some BS. My dad was in the military so part of this time he was away on excercise too and not actually there. Wes and I have been talking for almost 2 years, every day.

UGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Ok I'm done...sorry about the long post but this had me in tears last night and I'm not sure how to talk to my mom about how its making me feel because its not like I want to leave them, but I love Wes....and when I bring up my feelings to her she tends to get defensive.

My family was similar. They told me things such as, "talking on the phone isn't the same as being with them" or they said, "you two haven't lived everyday life together." Yes, I know that. However, we've talked far more than most couples. Lack of communication is one of the primary areas in which relationships fail. So it seems to me that basing your decision on the knowledge you've gained through talking is a better way to choose a spouse than how most people do.

[Danu 19]

I agree. The funny thing is my parent have been married 25 years this year, and when they first started dating they took dictionaries to their dates because my mom's knowledge of english was minimul at best, and my dad didn't know german, so I'm sure Wes and I know a lot more about each other than they did at that stage.

My sister is happy for me, His sister and mom are happy (his dad has the same concerns as my family) and all our friends are sooooooo excited for me and glad to see me finally happy, so I'm not sure why she keeps cutting me down like I haven't thought of all this stuff. She actually told me last night that at times I act like a teenager >< Usually I have no issues with my mom, but this issue is bugging the ####### out of me.

Edited January 30, 2009 by Danu

[JillA 2]

I agree. The funny thing is my parent have been married 25 years this year, and when they first started dating they took dictionaries to their dates because my mom's knowledge of english was minimul at best, and my dad didn't know german, so I'm sure Wes and I know a lot more about each other than they did at that stage.

My sister is happy for me, His sister and mom are happy (his dad has the same concerns as my family) and all our friends are sooooooo excited for me and glad to see me finally happy, so I'm not sure why she keeps cutting me down like I haven't thought of all this stuff. She actually told me last night that at times I act like a teenager >< Usually I have no issues with my mom, but this issue is bugging the ####### out of me.

Danu, I completely understand what you're going through!! While my parents were in fact quite supportive, they said the same things. "You don't know what it'll be like living with someone, it's different over a weekend, the longest you've spent together on a stretch is 8 days" yada yada. They were also worried about the getting married in 90 days, we need more time to "get to know eachother" I've heard it all. It didn't matter what anyone said. We were SO CLOSE and we talked 2-3 hours per night. We knew every detail about the other, and in an LD relationship you build such a strong foundation due to being apart. The warnings kept coming, I got here. It's been almost 3 months and never been happier. Living with Glen is even better than expected, I knew he'd be wonderful but it's better than that. My Mom even said to me on the phone the other night "you've adjusted much better than I thought you would". It didn't take time for us to get accustomed to living together, we click and it happened immediately. Before I moved she even said "I know you have high hopes, but know that if it doesn't work out for whatever reason we are here for you, you can always come back". I knew it would work out though, in my heart. I wouldn't quit my job that I enjoyed with good pay, leave all my best friends and family if I didn't know it.

Just know we've all been there before.... I'm sure another reason your Mum is feeling this way is because she'll miss you terribly and maybe doesn't want you to leave. You will get through it over time and they will accept it eventually and be happy for you both

Edited January 30, 2009 by JillA