Germany: children and proving custody

[Joshua Kaufman 1]

My fiance and step-son recently had their interview in Frankfurt. Everything was fine until they came to the topic of custody of her 10-year-old son. (Both my fiance and step-son have German passports although my step-son was born in London, England. My fiance and his father have been separated for almost 9 years.)

Basically, the immigration officer said that she needed something proving that she has custody of her son otherwise the consulate would view it as "kidnapping her son to America" - they actually said that! The thing is under German law, if the father hasn't been around and the child lives continuously with the mother then custody is automatic. She knew this, but went to a legal assistant to check anyway. They told her the same thing.

So she did two things to try to get this proof. First, she went to the court (I can't remember the exact name she gave) and asked them for some documentation of this, and their reply was that they couldn't give her proof of something that was already in effect. In other words, yes she had custody; no, they couldn't give her a document to show that. Next, she went to social services and asked for a similar document. They couldn't help her either because her son wasn't born in Germany.

The only thing that she thinks she can use is a letter from her son's father stating that he's aware of their move to the United States and grants them permission to do so. This may be enough for the consulate, but I'm concerned that it may not be enough for the border officers.

Does anyone have any ideas what could be done in this situation? I was proud to get this far without a lawyer but I'm feeling like I may have to do that to be safe...

[Joshua Kaufman 1]

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