Strange thing about locked threads

[rebeccajo 14]

i think in real life we for the most part surround ourselves with people we get along with....

that is hard to do on this site that is comprised of so many different people... and we really have no control on who we hang out with...

I really think that most of us don't act the same in real life that we do here...

Marilyn, the best example of a place in life where you DON'T get to pick who you are surrounded by is WORK. It's important at work to get along with others and play nice, but it's also important to be able to function at your job. If somebody is being a real butthead (to the point it affects the work environment) then honestly, I would rather try to handle it (at least one time) with the 'perpetrator' before I run off to the HR department and whine.

but you could always go work somewhere else... and you also usually choose where you work....

i hate when I want to say something but I can't get my point across the way I want to

Leave a good job because of someone in the work environment who is a #######? That's not 'turning the other cheek' - it's probably a poor career choice.

[Jenn! 918]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

Again, a difference in perspectives. While you think staying mum is preferable since you are not "stooping", I think that many people take that as a sign that their behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. They will continue until they see otherwise.

I never said to just ignore it but you shouldn't stoop to their level.. it could be handled differently....

Well, I guess I don't see that happening all that often to be honest. Most often it's that any criticism of a poster's behvior is interpreted by that poster as a personal attack. Calling someone out for their nastiness is not stooping to their level.

[Fandango 1,439]

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

Again, a difference in perspectives. While you think staying mum is preferable since you are not "stooping", I think that many people take that as a sign that their behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. They will continue until they see otherwise.

That doesn't mean you can't reply to the person in a calm and rational manner....no one's saying to let it be ignored if you feel you must say something....it's what is said in response that can be just as offensive as the original comment.

[Marilyn. 340]

Marilyn, the best example of a place in life where you DON'T get to pick who you are surrounded by is WORK. It's important at work to get along with others and play nice, but it's also important to be able to function at your job. If somebody is being a real butthead (to the point it affects the work environment) then honestly, I would rather try to handle it (at least one time) with the 'perpetrator' before I run off to the HR department and whine.

but you could always go work somewhere else... and you also usually choose where you work....

What? So if someone gets bullied at work they are supposed to turn tail & QUIT THEIR JOB???? Not in my lifetime.

One can only deal with so much attacking. It's obvious by the amount of different PMs I receive about it that I am not the only one who sees it continually be allowed to go on. Favoritism is very much in play on VJ.

ETA: Different perspectives. I don't see it as retaliation or revenge. I see it as not letting someone walk all over you.

but sometimes that is done in the same manner that it is done to you... we need to be the bigger person and not stoop to the same level....

Again, a difference in perspectives. While you think staying mum is preferable since you are not "stooping", I think that many people take that as a sign that their behavior is acceptable and will be tolerated. They will continue until they see otherwise.

I never said to just ignore it but you shouldn't stoop to their level.. it could be handled differently....

Well, I guess I don't see that happening all that often to be honest. Most often it's that any criticism of a poster's behvior is interpreted by that poster as a personal attack. Calling someone out for their nastiness is not stooping to their level.

geez, again I am misunderstood i need to get better communication skills ...

I am just saying that you have that choice to leave if you have tried to resolve the situation peacefully rather then stoop to their level.....

I do see some people stooping to the same level.. I wasn't saying that happens in every case....

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

[Fandango 1,439]

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

CW, I don't make personal attacks. And I certainly don't think any attacks on me should be moderated. Let em hang out for all to see!

I've been attacked in the past, and the last thing I'd do is stoop to that level...

And if I ever would (everyone's human I suppose), I would be complaining about the attack if I participated in a just-as-guilty reply.

[cheeky^Wolf 0]

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

CW, I don't make personal attacks. And I certainly don't think any attacks on me should be moderated. Let em hang out for all to see!

I've been attacked in the past, and the last thing I'd do is stoop to that level...

And if I ever would (everyone's human I suppose), I would be complaining about the attack if I participated in a just-as-guilty reply.

LisaD, I didn't say you made personal attacks. I was referring to ignoring comments from others and not reacting. However, you did once accuse me of being passive agressive, which I would take as a personal attack, but that's in the past

[Fandango 1,439]

LisaD I really don't think you're the right person to be preaching to others about ignoring comments from others and not reacting. You are as guilty for doing this as the next man.

This isn't a personal attack on you, just an observation

CW, I don't make personal attacks. And I certainly don't think any attacks on me should be moderated. Let em hang out for all to see!

I've been attacked in the past, and the last thing I'd do is stoop to that level...

And if I ever would (everyone's human I suppose), I would be complaining about the attack if I participated in a just-as-guilty reply.

LisaD, I didn't say you made personal attacks. I was referring to ignoring comments from others and not reacting. However, you did once accuse me of being passive agressive, which I would take as a personal attack, but that's in the past

I don't see there being a problem if people respond...it's the way you respond. It's the 'stooping-to-your-level-whilst-claiming-the-high-ground' that I think is really strange.

I don't remember calling you PA....but glad it's in the past! I'm sorry if you thought it was a personal attack....I wouldn't put it in that category though.

Although now I am curious...what constitutes a 'personal attack'? I think we're all gonna be surprised to hear everyone's different answers.

[rebeccajo 14]

Being niggly nosy to get a point across.

Edited July 24, 2007 by rebeccajo

[TracyTN 237]

Being niggly nosy to get a point across.

Yes, but if I put a happy emote after it then I'm not being niggly nosy, right?

[Fandango 1,439]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

[TracyTN 237]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

Who said it was?

[Trompe le Monde 1,107]

I'm not sure everyone saw personal attacks (except from the OP) in the original locked thread which is why this thread exists and is 15 pages long.

[Fandango 1,439]

Being niggly nosy is a personal attack?

Who said it was?

I thought it was an answer to the question I asked right above her post.

[no name 1]

Deja-vu...

http://www.visajourney.com/forums/index.ph...ttack&st=15

Edited July 24, 2007 by devilette