I-130 spouse child illegitimate

[pushbrk 12,138]

19 hours ago, JimmyColorado said:

Pushbrk

Well this opened a can of worms with the wife. I've been messaging her all night saying I want to put her baby's daddy's name on the application while the birth certificate says "Unknown" where the father's name should be.

She got very emotional because she was abandoned by this guy and does not want to use his name on anything.

She's concerned that there will be a problem if she lists his name on there I-130 application but it does not correspond to the birth certificate because it says: Father : Unknown.

How do you feel about putting "abandoned" on the I-130 form where it asks for her child's father's name. That way it's not lying and could be further elaborated on if the interviewer chose to do so.

Your thoughts?

Jim

US immigration is not about what a person wants to do or how one feels about what one MUST do.  The discrepancy is not an issue, except that it may be asked about.  Telling the truth about the child's father on the I-130 will take away the suspicion the child is a product of prostitution.  By now, you know that Filipinos generally place a somewhat different value on actual truthfulness than Western Culture does.  This process requires truth, even truth we may not like to disclose.

[JimmyColorado 2]

Pushbrk

I want to thank you for your advice and I have finally convinced my wife to put his name on the i-130. She was crying and everything and said she didn't want to but I finally convinced her basically what you just said. Filipino law does seem to be a little different. They give full custody and full rights to the mother if the child is born out of wedlock, as you know.

I guess they have a problem with that over there. And you're right about truthfulness. Filipinos are extremely straightforward and unpretentious and I very seldom hear them using even sarcasm LOL. It's quite refreshing.

Thanks again

Jim

[pushbrk 12,138]

48 minutes ago, JimmyColorado said:

Pushbrk

I want to thank you for your advice and I have finally convinced my wife to put his name on the i-130. She was crying and everything and said she didn't want to but I finally convinced her basically what you just said. Filipino law does seem to be a little different. They give full custody and full rights to the mother if the child is born out of wedlock, as you know.

I guess they have a problem with that over there. And you're right about truthfulness. Filipinos are extremely straightforward and unpretentious and I very seldom hear them using even sarcasm LOL. It's quite refreshing.

Thanks again

Jim

Again, answer the questions asked.  Answer truthfully.  There is not question on any form she will be involved with that asks who has custody or parental rights.  Yes, the Philippines is different with regard to parental rights for illegitimate children, but every US Immigration Official already knows that.

 

Aside, what you say about avoiding sarcasm and being straight forward when doing so will not cause them to lose face, is very true.  Beyond that, it might be helpful for you to know that I actually LIVE in the Philippines and deal with the very common avoidance of truth, every single day.  Part of the culture is that SHAME is a very bad thing, to be avoided, but there is NO shame until wrongdoing or error is ADMITTED.  Your wife wants all the shame to be on the father who abandoned the child.  I'm not shaming her.  You aren't.  And, US Immigration will not.  Nevertheless SHE did not want to mention the father, because of how doing so made HER feel.  It just IS what IT is.  Not judging here.

 

[JimmyColorado 2]

Pushbrk

Wise words.

My wife was shamed enough at our pre-marriage interview with the government worker who goes over being married. I'm not sure what she's called. But she really highlighted the fact that my wife had an illegitimate child, but in a direct way, not condescending.

Later on in our marriage we might be moving to the Philippines. Where in your opinion is the nicest place to live for an expat?

Jim

[pushbrk 12,138]

4 minutes ago, JimmyColorado said:

Pushbrk

Wise words.

My wife was shamed enough at our pre-marriage interview with the government worker who goes over being married. I'm not sure what she's called. But she really highlighted the fact that my wife had an illegitimate child, but in a direct way, not condescending.

Later on in our marriage we might be moving to the Philippines. Where in your opinion is the nicest place to live for an expat?

Jim

A different Island than your wife's parents and siblings live.  I like Dumaguete.  Peruse these videos.  They are not mine.  https://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=philippine+dreams

[JimmyColorado 2]

Puskbrk

We were just in Dumaguete last month.

We did the tourist thing to Apo Island to snorkel with the sea turtles. Big mistake.

It's so restrictive, it wasnt fun. 

I bet you know Gloria. We stayed at her Airbnb house that's right on the ocean across from Apo Island. She knows a lot of people in Dumaguete. She's married to an 80 year old German guy? And she's quite the businesswoman.

The other place we really liked and we're looking at houses was Lapu-Lapu City, mactan island, Cebu City.

It had a real nice feel there and it's not brutally hot as other places.

Edited February 14, 2019 by JimmyColorado
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