My SO and her son.

[Partners forever 0]

Hi everyone,

My SO wants to bring her son over with her when she first comes to the states.

I would like for him to stay with his grandmother for a month or two so she can come over and we can get the house just the way she wants it for him and to get her aquainted with life here.

She has told me that if he does not come with her at the same time that he will have to go and get his visa seperatly from the embassy at the time he is coming over.

Is this true or can he have it in hand when she gets hers and then just come over when we want him too?

I want him here too but I'd like to make it easier for him and have things ready before he gets here.

Thank for the help,

ME!

[orion44 0]

How old is her son? Could he travel by himself or would you accompany him to the USA? It sounds like it would be a big hassle to leave him with his grandmother so you can fix things up for him. Even though I believe technically your fiancee is wrong about the visa, maybe she's expressing her wishes to you.

[Mr.D2006 0]

If the child was part of your petition he could receive his visa when she gets hers, provided he goes through the medical and interview with her. When she fillis out her ds forms for her interview, it will ask if the child will accomapany or follow, she can check will follow. Just keep in mind she will not be able to go back and get him in two months, becaue it may take four or more months before she receives her green card. If the child does not enter the country within six months you will have to petition him separately, wihch will take a year or more.

Your lady in so many words is telling you she wants to bring her son, who will be yours also. I know you want to spend time alone with her first, but you have a package deal. So, do the righ thing and bring the child at the same time, after all this is what will make your lady happy.

[Partners forever 0]

I think you are both right. I'll have her bring him with her. It sounds much easier and iI do want to make her happy.

Thanks for the help and the "Kick in the pants", I do want them both here.

[Bobbie 1]

I think you are both right. I'll have her bring him with her. It sounds much easier and iI do want to make her happy.

Thanks for the help and the "Kick in the pants", I do want them both here.

Good for you. No offense, but for some of us singles moms, this is why we didn't marry until our children were...in their 20's. It is really hard to blend a family and for many of us, it was so hard to try and keep everyone in an order. The child felt they should come first and behaved that way, the new boyfriend felt he needed to come first and behaved that way, and the woman...just ran around trying to fix it all. If you take a step back, and let the kid take his time to adjust....and make him/her feel safe...you will see you get so much more time and all that you want. You just have to wait a bit. Good for you to not try and make the woman put everyone where they belong. It's hard to explain...but many women will stay single for 20 years instead of trying to get everyone feeling happy and comfortable and her in the middle of it all.

Bobbie