Waiting for social security, homesick already

[teama&a 3]

Hi..I POE'd at Queenston-Lewiston bridge on Aug 29, and currently staying with hubby at his mom's place since our place won't be ready till the 15th.

As a tenant I have to fill out an application with background check, which requires my social security number that I have yet to receive. I feel trapped as all other major items on my to-do list also require having an SSN (switching driver's license, getting a job, opening a bank account etc). How long does it take for them to mail it?

I'm starting to get homesick and it hasn't even been one week, and I just feel uncomfortable and like a burden. Also not knowing how long the greencard and Social security card will take to get here doesn't help.

My husband is a police officer, so with his busy schedule and shift work I don't see him as much as I would have hoped I would and I don't have many other friends here to talk to. There have been a few shootings back to back in the city, yesterday a cop was shot while on duty. All of this obviously isn't helping me feel any better. I know I signed up for this, but I am just having a hard time adjusting. Any advice?

[JR loves JR 196]

I'm really sorry that you're homesick. It won't take that long for your greencard to come in the mail. One important thing you could be working on is your resume and maybe even start applying for jobs. Most jobs here take a few weeks from application to job offer. Even if they offered you a job, you could inform them that you still need to wait to get your documentation but should have it fairly soon. Most companies expect that a new hire will need to put in a two week notice so they should work with you on a start date.

As for the social security card, I'm not sure how CR-1 recipients receive theirs. But after my fiancé applied for his, it took 2 weeks to get the actual card in the mail. If POE triggers the creation of the social security number in CR-1 cases, then I'd assume that will show up in the near future as well.

Some other things you can do:

Study for your driving test

Find a library, get a library card, read

Look online for things to do in your city and plan afternoon outings for yourself. This should be somewhat fun and will be a great way to familiarize yourself with your new home. Talk to your husband to find out if there's places you need to avoid.

Join a gym

Search for volunteer opportunities

Shop for a few pictures, rugs, knick knacks, or something to make your new home feel more like your home - they don't have to be expensive.

And last but not least, have grace for yourself. You've made a big life change and it takes time to adjust. There's nothing wrong with feeling sad about what you left behind. Just don't allow yourself to solely focus on that.

[oncefuturealien 45]

That's all great advice! ^^

In Atlantic City at this time of year I would be spending time at the beach, although I guess the weather's not too nice these days, which probably isn't helping your mood! it will all come together, don't worry.

I didn't write down when I received my new SS card, but it was before my green card arrived, so less than 6 weeks. I think it was 2-3 weeks but I'm not positive. As the poster above said, you are good to apply for jobs etc since the visa in your passport gives you the right to work.

I guess the main thing is to get out of the house and explore your new town! and have confidence things will progress and improve.

[Citygirlbeachboy 4]

I'm also really sorry to hear that you are homesick. And the fact that you're not in your own place yet, and living with your mother-in-law would also make me feel uncomfortable.

The posts above are great advice. I've moved a lot andthe best attitude to have is to embrace discovering all that your new city has to offer. Think of it like a treasure hunt to uncover all the local treasures.

The library will likely be a great resource for local organizations, events, local job search resources, etc. It's the time of year for fall classes to start. Maybe a general interest course with the local board of education, dance classes, art classes etc. would be fun for meeting some new people.

Take this time to scout out all the new services you'll need in your new neighborhood - the nail spas, the hairdressers, the gym, coffee shops, restaurants for date night. "Hi, I just moved here, what type of services/food do you offer?" You can check out the ambiance, the prices, the friendliness of the staff, and ask a lot of questions without having to commit to anything. You'll probably even discover some places that will be new to your husband. Some of the best places may have local owners instead of national chains.

I like the suggestion of looking for things for your new home. That could mean exploring the local thrift shops, your (new) favorite stores, or the wonders of online shopping (no huge shipping fees to Canada, no exchange, no GST). That would certainly fill up my day

Keep focused on the things you enjoy doing and finding the new places to do them. Create the life you want for yourself! You go girl!