Loving a man from a Highly Corrupt Nigeria

[forchika 4]

A very good post 3CHI with some very good sound advice. I've been missing in action from VJ and just dropped in to read up. My advice and three keys to the masses ..communication, compromise and respect goes a long way!! We are still in it to win it with a few bumps and bruises along the way.

[Deeplove11111 18]

I just wish my fiance can see this post,friends have been telling her things about Nigeria, not all Nigerians are have hidden agenda, we are all humans and we have feelings, I love my Angel so much,she is my best friend and my one and only true love. most Nigerian ladies can't endure what she has endured,and I've vowed to love her for the rest of my life and I welcome her to the Yoruba clan

[MeAlone 158]

I just wish my fiance can see this post,friends have been telling her things about Nigeria, not all Nigerians are have hidden agenda, we are all humans and we have feelings, I love my Angel so much,she is my best friend and my one and only true love. most Nigerian ladies can't endure what she has endured,and I've vowed to love her for the rest of my life and I welcome her to the Yoruba clan

You are wonderful! It will be another success story. Love with no borders and not judging by origins

Tasha

[3CHI 11]

It has been successful! I wrote this post because I spent lots and lots of time getting to know him! If was angry at me, he never let on. This is a man who knows I work 12 -15 hours a day now and he helps me around the house and I have no problem making sure he has his native soup and "swallow". It is about sacrifice and if neither of us want to look at each others sacrifices.. then we literally blind or really really selfish.

Tips of an American .. through marriage now an AFRICAN!

• Spend time cooking from You Tube videos: Egusi, Vegetable or Stew before he gets here. (do not make him eat American! come on now!)
• A clear budget on finances and being able to communicate about it.

If you can master the talk of money and food... and don't be surprised if you have to teach him how to hug and kiss! My husband had really worked hard at learning me. But, I am also considered an IRON LADY.. and that I guess is easier for him to handle (or so he says). Most men wont do well if you are a DRAMA QUEEN.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I am not making him do anything but he has a choice to adapt to different foods here or cook himself ! I do not like most Nigerian dishes and we both have to cpromise but that doesn't mean I am cooking . Why should he not try western type dishes, I don't feel compelled to cook Nigerian food after a long days work and told him from day one if he wants to eat he can eat what is prepared or feel free to cook too. Never had issues with hugs and affection, it depends on each person's personality not true that most Africans can't show affection. I agree with some points of your post but not all.

[Ebunoluwa 6,136]

I will remain who I am, German American and find the Euro culture closer to African culture than American culture. I believe it's important to remain who you are and never lose your identity for anyone. Merge respectfully into a functioning unit but keep things real on who you are. I think that is so important for women.

[soulstriker 274]

hmm not a bad post , im nigerian american so not all of this applies to me , but for ppl who arent of deep African decent this is defiantly helpful

[MeAlone 158]

It has been successful! I wrote this post because I spent lots and lots of time getting to know him! If was angry at me, he never let on. This is a man who knows I work 12 -15 hours a day now and he helps me around the house and I have no problem making sure he has his native soup and "swallow". It is about sacrifice and if neither of us want to look at each others sacrifices.. then we literally blind or really really selfish.

Tips of an American .. through marriage now an AFRICAN!

• Spend time cooking from You Tube videos: Egusi, Vegetable or Stew before he gets here. (do not make him eat American! come on now!)
• A clear budget on finances and being able to communicate about it.

If you can master the talk of money and food... and don't be surprised if you have to teach him how to hug and kiss! My husband had really worked hard at learning me. But, I am also considered an IRON LADY.. and that I guess is easier for him to handle (or so he says). Most men wont do well if you are a DRAMA QUEEN.

OK. All of this is me too. And I was thinking it's only with me and it's something wrong with me.

- I do like to cook and learn local food any country I visit, I cook very well South American, Asian food and now learning African and specifically Nigerian food which I like and don't see it difficult yet still my fiance makes better Eguzi soup. I lived many years abroad and I do understand Nigerians not liking the American food too much, it's mostly all about the flavor and spicy hot paper, veggies. I love to cook for my man and I will, I enjoy my family around the table and happy.

- Finances it's still not easy, the prices in Nigeria are too high and I am always trying to save money as all travels it's a lot of spending, he still believes I am stingy and for Americans $300-400 are peanuts. Let's wait when he starts working and living here.

- teach how to hug and kiss??? Now I see, I did think it's something wrong with me, it looks like he is not used to show his feelings, emotions and even hides them. I did get thim talking from his heart when he was feeling like losing me, not an easy man but I see me being nice to him and also teaching some loving tricks to the baby (his baby coming to live with us), we will soften his heart.

Lol, drama queen, sometimes we women are, it's our hormones, our female nature, grown up men know it, mine knows and he is very mature in understanding and finding the right words.

And all I can add to 3CHI advice is define for you both how important and strong your love is and the desire to be together, say it to each other and ... forgive each other in all misunderstandings, learn about each other every day and keep it going, with more time if it's the real love, it goes better and better, understand yourself first, what do you need, who do you need and how serious are you about this relationship, then all details will be just details and giving and receiving

Tasha