A Man's Answers To Every Question A Woman Ever Asks

[hampster 0]

1.WHY ARE MEN SUCH JERKS? It's a testosterone thing. Much similar to your PMS thing, we men suffer from testosterone poisoning. Why do you think the average life span of a male is typically 10 years shorter and it's not just from all the bitching and nagging we have to endure?

Hormone modifies behavior. We're just misunderstood.

2.WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN? Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you? Besides, women do it as well. Women are just much better at not getting caught. I'm fairly certain it's some sort of photographic memory deal. Women take one quick look and memorize it for later reference. Since men lack this ability, we try to burn it into our memory by staring as much as we can.

3.WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES,

ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

4.WHY DO MEN ALWAYS SAY SUCH STUPID THINGS?

We like to. It's actually a whole lot of fun to see our partner frustrated by a few simple (and well chosen) words.

5.WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?

You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

6.WHY DO MEN HAVE TO ACT LIKE SUCH RETARDS?

Well, we don't actually have to; we do it because we enjoy it. It's the old fashioned pride in a job well done that's missing in so much of the world nowadays.

7.WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SHARE THEIR FEELINGS?

Do we look like women to you? Why is it so hard to understand that men and women are different? How are we supposed to share how we feel when we have no idea how we feel? Unless we're experiencing some extreme emotion like rage, hatred, disgust, or a brick on our foot, we have no idea how we feel. Personally, I get a headache whenever I try to figure out how I feel.

8.WHY CAN'T MEN CUDDLE MORE

(I.E. LIE DOWN AND HUG)?

Please... How many hours do you think there is in a day? We oblige you as much as we can, but who the hell (besides women) can stand lying around for hours on end? We men... Men hunters... Need go roam... Starve in cave... Must go find wildebeest... Now sitting on our asses for hours on end on the other hand is a whole other story.

9.HOW CAN MEN SIT ON THEIR ASSES

ALL DAY WITHOUT MOVING?

Men have very powerful sets of sitting muscles developed by evolution that enable us to sit for extended periods of time without getting tired. In prehistoric times, it was often necessary to sit in one spot for extended periods of time while hunting for prey. The more successful hunters were able to sit very still for very extended periods of time thereby passing on this ability to their progeny.

The fidgety types were all gobbled up by saber toothed tigers etc. The end result is that almost all modern

men are born with this innate ability.

10.WHY CAN'T MEN JUST SAY "I LOVE YOU?

Men are taught from a tender young age to be self-sufficient. To say that we love you is equivalent to saying that we need you. Most men consider that a character fault. It's not easy to admit to one's own character faults.

11.WHY DO MEN SAY "I LOVE YOU"

WHEN THEY HARDLY KNOW ME?

Ho, Ho, Ho... Aren't you special? Well, some men think it's a sure fire way to get into your pants. Surprisingly, it actually still works quite well.

12.WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

13.WHY WON'T MEN EVER PICK UP AFTER THEMSELVES? Why should we? It doesn't really bother us that much. Besides, we know darn well you'll pick it up.

14.WHAT'S WITH ALL THE BELCHING AND FARTING?

This usually only occurs after months of courting. It's our way to let you know that we're comfortable with you. Believe it or not, it's actually a sign of affection.

Besides, holding it for extended periods of time

gives us stomach cramps.

15.WHY DO MEN HATE SHOPPING?

It's an evolutionary thing. Men hunt.

Women gather. We just want to go out, kill it,

and bring it back.

Who wants to spend hours and hours to look at things we have no intention of killing? Err... buying?

Disclaimer..

These Comments are not the view,

of the person posting..

Edited January 27, 2007 by hampster

[onuche 0]

LOL,

hahahahahhahahaha, i must say u got some truths there.Honestly show me a man that wants to lie in bed all day? A man has got to work!!!!!

Might not be all women but if u got no job u r called lazy,when u go get a job tp bring home some money you are seen as putting your job ahead of the family.

Honestly can a man ever win?two yrs into my marriage i have given up hope of wining,aint no use fighting she wins.(wifey is going to kill me for this)

lol.

[brnidokiegurl 1]

awww now women know, think you for the insight

[hampster 0]

awww now women know, think you for the insight

Your welcome ... did you see the Disclaimer..

These Comments are not the view,

of the person posting

[brnidokiegurl 1]

sure, ok so give us your interputations

[Alex+R 0]

I think the author of these answers is in a very bad relationship.

Except here

12.WHY DOESN'T MY PARTNER EVER ANSWER ME?

We just simply don't have the energy to answer every single one of your questions. If we think we do not have the answer, or that you will not like the answer, we simply remain quiet and save the energy for other things.

I certainly can relate to being on the receiving end of this...

PS I have never met a man who didn't want to cuddle much more than the lady did, if you consider the data I have gathered during girl talk. ("Why can't he just let me get ready for work!?)

[GaryC 7]

5.WHY ARE MEN SO UNCOMMUNICATIVE?

You'd learn to keep your big mouth shut too if every time you open it you get into trouble with your partner.

Now there is a real truth!!

Edited January 27, 2007 by Iniibig ko si Luz forever

[maggieNomar 0]

2.WHY DO MEN ALWAYS HAVE TO OGLE AT OTHER WOMEN? Again, this is a testosterone thing. Do you honestly think that all the testosterone just fell out of our bodies the moment we met you?

Well YES!!! Or at least that you find us so beautiful no one else could compete for your attention!

[brnidokiegurl 1]

Probably even with this one, think women probably look just as much at some good looking guy, kinda hard not to