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Jana636

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Filed: Country: Canada
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Hey guys! I found this site a while ago, but my husband has just recently submitted our I-130 petition and so I've been browsing this site every day for the past month lol.

I figured it was time to introduce myself. Our story isn't very different from most VJers' stories that I've read so far. We actually met back in 1999 as teenagers on an online game and kept in touch on and off over the years. Finally, last year, he suggested we meet up for coffee and I agreed. It was a really expensive 4 day coffee date. He flew from South Carolina and I from Toronto and "the rest is history" from there.

We decided to get married in Toronto in March, and I went back with him to SC for 5 months as a visitor. I came back to Toronto in September, and now we're playing the waiting game. I actually quit my really cushy job back in March and I've just started looking for a job since it looks like I'll be here for a long time. In retrospect, I should've stayed employed and we should've gone the K1 route - oh well.

Anyone have any tips on coping with the distance? We chat pretty much all day on and off, FaceTime, Skype, etc. It doesn't help. I miss him so much. :( He just came for a short visit two weeks ago and we're planning another trip in about 3 months. I guess I'm just looking to connect with others in the same situation, maybe have a pity party or two lol.

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Hi Jana,

From my personal experience I can say that wine may be very beneficial. :idea: Must be really hard to come back home after 5 months spent together. We see each other about every 2 or 3 months for about a week to 10 days at a time, and whenever I come back to Montreal, especially after the last time at the end of September, I feel empty.. like this is no longer my home. :cry: Pity party!

What helps us is talking as often as we can and planning for whatever is coming up. For example Christmas Vacation, I'm going to Florida for 3 weeks and we are going on a cruise, as well as checking out spots for our upcoming wedding. Fun! Fun!

Waiting is a mind game and as hard as it is, our attitude is key in how time will pass. Keeping busy helps... maybe once you start working it won't seem as bad.

In the meantime cheers and drink up dear.


''No matter how painful distance can be, not having you in my life would be worse''

August 16 2013: Started dating

July 6 2014: Got engaged! (L)

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Filed: Country: Canada
Timeline

lol funny that you mentioned wine. I didn't have much of an alcohol tolerance over the years, but I've noticed a drastic improvement as of late!!

And I know what you mean about no longer feeling at home. After being there for 5 months, little reminders make it very apparent every day. Like, looking for my favourite vegetable peeler and realizing that I don't have it, or tonight I was looking for a specific skirt for my job interview tomorrow and realized I didn't pack it.

Thanks for the encouraging words and tips. I'm happy that you get to spend a whole 3 weeks together soon! :)

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

Hi Jana,

I know how you feel. I found it very difficult to play the waiting game. Although we did go the K1 route, after my (now) hubby and I met it was difficult to spend time apart. We met in December 2010, but actually didn't file our K1 petition until January 2012. Finally moved to Texas in May of 2013. (I am from Peterborough, ON - not too far from you).

We would plan trips about every 3 months or so. Either he would come up to Canada or I would fly down there. In the summers, I would go down and take the kids with me. I remember always just living for the next time I got to see him. The anticipation of the next trip got me through, and although it was awesome, that flight back - or seeing him leave at the airport was extremely difficult. I attribute it to a roller coaster ride, lots of highs, but extreme lows as well. It did not help much when our petition took so long and then we got an RFE to boot. :cry:

I was on VJ every day, and being connected with others going through the same thing made it a little easier. Plus skype daily, texting and phone calls. I remember one night we went to bed with skype on so that we could sleep "in the same room" together.

Try to keep yourself busy as much as you can. A new job will help. Distractions make the time go by. I would plan weekend trips to my sisters, just to get out of the house for a change of scenery. Try reading some good novels, they tend to take you to another place for a while. :)

Just remember, going through this wait is something you will never forget. I often look at my husband, and remember this wait. Just being able to do normal things together like watching tv in the evening is something we don't take for granted.

Oh yeah and alcohol does help too! :P

Good luck on your journey.


Kimberley and Richard
Service Center : Vermont Service Center
Consulate : Montreal, Canada
2012-01-25 : I-129F Sent
2012-01-27 : VSC Received
2012-01-31 : I-129F NOA1 Notice Date
2012-02-01 : Touch
2012-07-05 : RFE Email (after 161 days)
2012-07-11 : RFE Received in Mail
2012-07-12 : RFE Reply Sent via USPS Overnight
2012-07-13 : RFE Reply Received at VSC at 12:16 PM
2012-07-18 : Case status updated to: "Request for Evidence Response Review"
2012-09-20 : Service Request Submitted with Tier 2 ISO
2012-09-25 : NOA2 Approved after 242 days!!
2013-01-07: Medical
2013-01-22: Interview - Approved! smile.png

My blog and video review of the Montreal Hotel that we stayed in: http://fanatictourist.com/blog/travel-tales/review-le-square-phillips-hotel-and-suites-montreal-canada/

2013-04-30: POE - Sarnia / Pt. Huron

2013-05-06: Made it legal.

2013-06-10: Apply for AOS, EAD and AP

2013-08-27: EAD / AP Received
2013-09-17: Greencard Received

2013-09-28: Wedding! smile.png

2015-06-15: Sent I-751 Application - Removal of Conditions.
2015-11-23: Approved
2015-12-02: 10 yr Green Card Rec'd.

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Filed: IR-1/CR-1 Visa Country: Canada
Timeline

Long distance is not for the faint of heart, I have been doing it for over 6 years. Even as I write "6 years", it's hard to wrap my head around that amount of time.

My husband and I tried to see each other every 3-4 months or more - being 3000 miles apart and having demanding careers w/limited vacation time was part of the challenge. Not to mention extricating ourselves from our existing marriages (I had been separated for over 7 years when we met, and am very close friends with my ex, my husband was separated but went through a bitter and financially crippling divorce as his ex had mental health and substance abuse problems, she then passed away a couple years after their divorce, so the financial part was resolved tho not in the way we would have asked for) We have been through all these things together, even at our distance. Second Life (where we met) is still a part of our lives and we use it's voice feature to spend time with each other and friends there. Yahoo Messenger, Skype, texting, telephone. There was rarely a day where we didn't speak to each other. We also spent many evenings watching movies and tv shows together by syncing up our audio.

We knew after meeting in person in 2008 that we were in it for the long haul, as I was raising my teenage son and was not in a position to move countries until he was finished school and on his own life journey. We also knew that we each had met our absolute soul mate, and we were deeply committed to one another from the very first meeting.

Perhaps one other advantage was our ages - being older and having been in unhappy marriages, we both knew what we DIDN'T want, and we both had reserves of patience that younger people seem not to have.

Has it been easy?? Not on your life. Were there times when we both questioned the whole relationship?? Absolutely. Do I cherish every moment we've ever had together?? Totally.

So, that was my long winded reply.

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Montreal, with my interview at the consulate in the morning. Assuming I'm approved, I shall be moving to the US on Christmas day to at long last have a proper life with my beloved husband.

All I can say, if you are meant to be together and can find the strength, you will find a way to make it work.

Good luck to you.

Namaste and Peace.

:goofy:

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Filed: Citizen (apr) Country: Canada
Timeline

I feel for you while you wait out the process. The hubs and I suffered some long bouts without seeing one another despite calling for hours daily, skyping etc...Eventually I would have a slight mental breakdown moment because I couldn't stand being apart and we'd get past it.

7 yrs of marriage and living in the US later - I like to think of it as a distant memory. Now there are other challenges of missing family and friends of course.


Wiz(USC) and Udella(Cdn & USC!)

Naturalization

02/22/11 - Filed

02/28/11 - NOA

03/28/11 - FP

06/17/11 - status change - scheduled for interview

06/20?/11 - received physical interview letter

07/13/11 - Interview in Fairfax,VA - easiest 10 minutes of my life

07/19/11 - Oath ceremony in Fairfax, VA

******************

Removal of Conditions

12/1/09 - received at VSC

12/2/09 - NOA's for self and daughter

01/12/10 - Biometrics completed

03/15/10 - 10 Green Card Received - self and daughter

******************

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Filed: Country: Canada
Timeline

Hi Jana,

I know how you feel. I found it very difficult to play the waiting game. Although we did go the K1 route, after my (now) hubby and I met it was difficult to spend time apart. We met in December 2010, but actually didn't file our K1 petition until January 2012. Finally moved to Texas in May of 2013. (I am from Peterborough, ON - not too far from you).

We would plan trips about every 3 months or so. Either he would come up to Canada or I would fly down there. In the summers, I would go down and take the kids with me. I remember always just living for the next time I got to see him. The anticipation of the next trip got me through, and although it was awesome, that flight back - or seeing him leave at the airport was extremely difficult. I attribute it to a roller coaster ride, lots of highs, but extreme lows as well. It did not help much when our petition took so long and then we got an RFE to boot. :cry:

I was on VJ every day, and being connected with others going through the same thing made it a little easier. Plus skype daily, texting and phone calls. I remember one night we went to bed with skype on so that we could sleep "in the same room" together.

Try to keep yourself busy as much as you can. A new job will help. Distractions make the time go by. I would plan weekend trips to my sisters, just to get out of the house for a change of scenery. Try reading some good novels, they tend to take you to another place for a while. :)

Just remember, going through this wait is something you will never forget. I often look at my husband, and remember this wait. Just being able to do normal things together like watching tv in the evening is something we don't take for granted.

Oh yeah and alcohol does help too! :P

Good luck on your journey.

Ahh, I used to drive to Peterborough fairly often. Well, Norwood. There's a vizsla breeder there, called Pointblank Dogs and I used to take her to do bird training with Liz.

We also got an RFE and according to our timeline, that delays it another 30 days at VSC. :( You're absolutely right about not taking even the little things for granted. I've already read 4 books, and I'm hoping going back to work will help. In fact, I'm sure it will. It's also comforting knowing that all of you have gone through the same thing, and a lot of you who have responded are finally reunited with your love ones. :)

Edited by Jana636

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Filed: Country: Canada
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Long distance is not for the faint of heart, I have been doing it for over 6 years. Even as I write "6 years", it's hard to wrap my head around that amount of time.

My husband and I tried to see each other every 3-4 months or more - being 3000 miles apart and having demanding careers w/limited vacation time was part of the challenge. Not to mention extricating ourselves from our existing marriages (I had been separated for over 7 years when we met, and am very close friends with my ex, my husband was separated but went through a bitter and financially crippling divorce as his ex had mental health and substance abuse problems, she then passed away a couple years after their divorce, so the financial part was resolved tho not in the way we would have asked for) We have been through all these things together, even at our distance. Second Life (where we met) is still a part of our lives and we use it's voice feature to spend time with each other and friends there. Yahoo Messenger, Skype, texting, telephone. There was rarely a day where we didn't speak to each other. We also spent many evenings watching movies and tv shows together by syncing up our audio.

We knew after meeting in person in 2008 that we were in it for the long haul, as I was raising my teenage son and was not in a position to move countries until he was finished school and on his own life journey. We also knew that we each had met our absolute soul mate, and we were deeply committed to one another from the very first meeting.

Perhaps one other advantage was our ages - being older and having been in unhappy marriages, we both knew what we DIDN'T want, and we both had reserves of patience that younger people seem not to have.

Has it been easy?? Not on your life. Were there times when we both questioned the whole relationship?? Absolutely. Do I cherish every moment we've ever had together?? Totally.

So, that was my long winded reply.

I'm sitting in a hotel room in Montreal, with my interview at the consulate in the morning. Assuming I'm approved, I shall be moving to the US on Christmas day to at long last have a proper life with my beloved husband.

All I can say, if you are meant to be together and can find the strength, you will find a way to make it work.

Good luck to you.

Namaste and Peace.

:goofy:

Sylea! Good luck on your interview tomorrow! You must be so incredibly excited! I can't imagine being apart for 6 years. I know that we could do it, but it must have been so agonizing. Big kudos to you. I couldn't imagine a better Christmas present for the both of you! From what I've read, the interview is the easiest part - so a big congratulations to you and your husband!! :dance:

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Filed: Country: Canada
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I feel for you while you wait out the process. The hubs and I suffered some long bouts without seeing one another despite calling for hours daily, skyping etc...Eventually I would have a slight mental breakdown moment because I couldn't stand being apart and we'd get past it.

7 yrs of marriage and living in the US later - I like to think of it as a distant memory. Now there are other challenges of missing family and friends of course.

I had one of those breakdown moments about a month ago. I was sitting on my balcony up on the 16th floor, and I'm about a 20 minute drive to the airport. So I was watching plane after plane fly above (there were at least 10 of them in the span of a maybe 45 minutes) and I kept crying as each one flew over. Not just a tear or two, but the "ugly face crying" lol. It's funny to think about now, and I'm sure it won't be the last meltdown but my gosh was it bad!

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