meeting requirement

[RosaMystica7 0]

LOL Thingee, I'll try to type slower for you.

Yeah, the last time my fiance had to go back to France... oh did we sob... and sob... and sob some more... it was just so depressing. But just know that after that visit, if you choose to file for a K1 or K3 visa, the NEXT time you see him again there will be no more goodbyes.

[rebeccajo 14]

There is a 99% failure rate for the waiver of meeting.

Maybe Aussie Wench or someone more familiar with the site will come along and post the link, but perhaps you can do a search on waivers and find it as well. She posted a link to look at waiver applications, their outcome and explanation. Very informative I think. There are very few waivers that get approved. Best bet is to suck it up and go, or have him apply for a tourirst visa showing plenty of ties to his country and intent to return, and then make sure he does!!

maggie, I'm sort of familiar with this site in case you were wondering.

This topic has been discussed ad naseum before and the statistic is verifiable.

I sort of read that as her saying someone more familiar than she is? but eh, either way.

Correct. I remember seeing the post and link, but since I am not trying to get a waiver I did not pay much attention to it. My point was that maybe someone who is more familiar with where things are located on this site can point the OP to the appropriate place. I'm mostly a MENA girl and have just recently started to venture out to other forums.

There's a whole big VJ world outside of the regional forums. Glad to see you joining us!

My apologies if I overread your comment.

[bostonparis 0]

I'd definitely suggest talking to a good immigration lawyer.

One question though: why in the world would you want to marry someone you've never even met? I know it's possible to think you're in love with someone you met online... but there's so much more to a relationship than words. There are all the nonverbal things, and a little something called "chemistry" that also comes into play.

Airlines can be very accomodating to persons with physical impairments as well. You can arrange for them to drive you in the little golf cart things to your gate, and you can pre-board so you don't have to wait in a huge line for everyone in front of you to get setted. You're asking him to give up everything he knows: his family, his culture, his way of life just to be with you. It isn't too much to ask you to go visit him just once?

I didn't feel like going into the whole long personal story, or what other things have factored into our thoughts on this. And I would not be marrying someone I never met- when you are at the visa website, it looks like this is a simpler visa for what we intend, and that you can't file for tourist visa if you intend to stay permenently eventually, so the thought is you have to get this kind. We would be meeting in person before marrying. The visa is not a binding contract to marry- to the contrary, it just means if you want to stay here, you have to get married in 90 days. Obviously, he is free to return to mexico at any time, he is not a prisoner here, nor just because he was here, would we HAVE to get married, either on of us could decide to wait, and not do that, or have him return to Mexico etc.

My question simply was on the waiver bit, and can he come here first to visit on a tourist visa even if we plan to be together permanently. I have had some reent complications with my health issues that really make it beyond not a good idea for me to travel that far. It is not the walking, or riding in a cart- it is the sitting on the plane for hours and hours. Not to mention because of where I live, even getting to the airport. At this point, I found this website in doing some searches online, looking at different options, and just had the question, as I am well aware that what the government SAYS, vs. what they DO can be 2 entirely different things LOL.

I'm sorry, but you ARE going to marry someone that you have not yet met. This is clearly a larger issue - how on earth can you know that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with when you have never met him? Never held his hand, looked into his eyes...??

This is the kind of stuff that makes me crazy. There's all kinds of couples out there just dying to finally be together for good... who are in love, who have MET, who have travelled in all kinds of conditions, just to be together for a few days at a time... and we have to wait and wait and wait while USCIS and the rest have to sift through petitions of "couples" who have never met.

But, like I said, that's clearly a larger issue.

[RosaMystica7 0]

Bostonparis, she was asking about the waiver only because she was under the impression that him visiting her in the States would be fraudulent, and she is physically unable to go to Mexico. Now that she's realized that it won't be fraudulent for him to visit her, she said they'll go the route of getting him a visitor visa so they can spend some time together. So they're going to meet in person before doing the K1 shebang.

Edited January 6, 2007 by Angilla

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

so glad to see a response NOT to the question that I asked. Had you actually READ what I wrote- you would have seen that I THOUGHT you HAD to file the k-1 visa if you EVENTUALLY want to get married- didn't say I am marrying tomorrow- didn't elaborate on our personal story, circumstances, religious beliefs etc. What amazes me is that I thought this site was just for that- QUESTIONS about the process and paperwork- not for some sort of intervention because you have mistakenly labled me out of misguided notion that somehow I am delaying your process to be reunited with your love because i am some ditzy internet teen. You don't know me, you don't know us. you don't know anything about my personal life. I also did not ask for your advice or opinion on my personal life or decisions. I asked and had answered my question- that you can in fact visit on a tourist visa even if your eventual plans are to be married. Please to not criticize my personal decisions as to who/what/where/when/why I chose to love someone or choose to marry them. I am sorry you are bitter and angry about the delay in obtaining your visa, but please do not take it out on me. I have not even FILED any paperwork for crying out loud, and even if I had, it is my right as a tax paying citizen to do just that if I so desire. Last time I checked, they did not place qualifiers on filing paperwork based on passing any 7 dimensions of true love, or require anyone's specific definition of what is "real love" and what is not.

[bostonparis 0]

Bostonparis, she was asking about the waiver only because she was under the impression that him visiting her in the States would be fraudulent, and she is physically unable to go to Mexico. Now that she's realized that it won't be fraudulent for him to visit her, she said they'll go the route of getting him a visitor visa so they can spend some time together. So they're going to meet in person before doing the K1 shebang.

Ah. I was under the impression that she had already filed for the K1.

[RosaMystica7 0]

It's okay Phedre LeCroix, bostonparis just understood a few things wrong. Easy to do in a thread that changes gears between the original post (you asking about the waiver) and the outcome (you learning that him getting a visitor visa is ok and deciding to go that route).

You know what I learned on the off topic forum? You know what a penguin that sits on ice for too long has? Polaroids. So corny I found it funny, it actually made me laugh.

We're all under a lot of stress here - it comes with the visa process, so put a lot of stressed out people together and kaboom if we're all not careful. So... let's all keep this post on a good track.

Edited January 6, 2007 by Angilla

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

I apologize, my post was going thru before I read yours, or knew that I was not being understood. I had just reached my limit at feeling like I am being personally attacked and having to defend myself while clearly just trying to ask a simple question because the government makes the whole visa process a confusing mess.

[bostonparis 0]

so glad to see a response NOT to the question that I asked. Had you actually READ what I wrote- you would have seen that I THOUGHT you HAD to file the k-1 visa if you EVENTUALLY want to get married- didn't say I am marrying tomorrow- didn't elaborate on our personal story, circumstances, religious beliefs etc. What amazes me is that I thought this site was just for that- QUESTIONS about the process and paperwork- not for some sort of intervention because you have mistakenly labled me out of misguided notion that somehow I am delaying your process to be reunited with your love because i am some ditzy internet teen. You don't know me, you don't know us. you don't know anything about my personal life. I also did not ask for your advice or opinion on my personal life or decisions. I asked and had answered my question- that you can in fact visit on a tourist visa even if your eventual plans are to be married. Please to not criticize my personal decisions as to who/what/where/when/why I chose to love someone or choose to marry them. I am sorry you are bitter and angry about the delay in obtaining your visa, but please do not take it out on me. I have not even FILED any paperwork for crying out loud, and even if I had, it is my right as a tax paying citizen to do just that if I so desire. Last time I checked, they did not place qualifiers on filing paperwork based on passing any 7 dimensions of true love, or require anyone's specific definition of what is "real love" and what is not.

So, hopefully you know your answer. If he comes here on a tourist visa, and you get married, it's fraudulent. If he comes here on a tourist visa, you both know you want to get married, and he goes back home, there's no fraud. Some people will say that if he comes here on a tourist visa, but you get married a couple of months later if there was no initial intent to marry, there's no fraud either. I don't buy that, but that's just my opinion.

'm not :bitter and angry". My visa is not "delayed," so I'm not sure why you say that. I already received NOA2, and my petition is at the embassy in Paris. I get annoyed when I see people who ARE delayed by the process because of many reasons. Angilla clarified for me that you didn't file paperwork. Yes, it is your right as a taxpayer to file paperwork if you want to. But a lot of times, people don't realize how it affects others when they're filing these petitions when they're not even sure.

[rebeccajo 14]

As you have said the immigration process is a confusing mess. That being said, point of clarification for you:

The K1 visa, while not a 'contract' to marry, is also not intended as a 'lets try it out' visa. When you submit the petition, you are required to submit written statements from both of you that you indeed intend to marry. I once read that something like 40% of K1 visas are never even activated. I have no idea if that's a reliable statistic, but if it is, that's some pretty hefty evidence that USCIS spends loads of time on cases that never come to fruition.

[RosaMystica7 0]

I once read that something like 40% of K1 visas are never even activated.

Wow, that's nuts! I wonder why? Maybe all the stress and confusion of the visa process breaks up the couples that never would've made it through marriage in the first place. That's still a crazy statistic, though... wow.

Edited January 6, 2007 by Angilla

[mybackpages 0]

I apologize, my post was going thru before I read yours, or knew that I was not being understood. I had just reached my limit at feeling like I am being personally attacked and having to defend myself while clearly just trying to ask a simple question because the government makes the whole visa process a confusing mess.

Sometimes that happens here on VJ. But we are really just one big family, so welcome and good luck with your visa journey. You might want to post in the latin American forum for advice about getting a tourist visa in Mexico. They are not always approved, but it all depends on how prepared you are to show ties to the country. You will get some good advice specific to the consulate in Mexico.

[mybackpages 0]

If he comes here on a tourist visa, and you get married, it's fraudulent.

Just a little clarification here- he can come on a tourist visa and get married. They can get married while he is here on a tourist visa, but he must leave before the visa expires and the USC then files for a spouse visa while he waits in Mexico.

[bostonparis 0]

If he comes here on a tourist visa, and you get married, it's fraudulent.

Just a little clarification here- he can come on a tourist visa and get married. They can get married while he is here on a tourist visa, but he must leave before the visa expires and the USC then files for a spouse visa while he waits in Mexico.

Yes, my bad for not completing. Thanks!

[Phedre LeCroix 0]

I'm sorry, but you ARE going to marry someone that you have not yet met. This is clearly a larger issue - how on earth can you know that this is the person that you want to spend the rest of your life with when you have never met him? Never held his hand, looked into his eyes...??

This is the kind of stuff that makes me crazy. There's all kinds of couples out there just dying to finally be together for good... who are in love, who have MET, who have travelled in all kinds of conditions, just to be together for a few days at a time... and we have to wait and wait and wait while USCIS and the rest have to sift through petitions of "couples" who have never met.

But, like I said, that's clearly a larger issue.

Because you said "and we have to wait and wait", which felt like to me that you were personally offended and injured by me as a "couple", thus invalidating my existance as a couple and my feelings to boot. I lost it because when you go to the main visa website, it is a confusing mess, that makes it look like you have to file this kind of visa if you are romantically interested in someone or it is fraud. So i searched and found this website, and posted a question. and from the gate, I start getting reamed about not only my relationship and that we are not a "real couple", but how valid are my physical issues and if you "really loved him" you would kill yourself to fly to mexico.

and so all I wanted to know was what you are supposed to do, when the visa site makes it look like a damned if you do, and damned if you don't thing. I am sorry I went off on you. I just reached my breaking point at feeling lectured to like some wayward child screwing everything up for everyone else, when all i wanted was an answer to my question.

From what i have seen research wise so far, this seems like a hellish process, so i would not be surprised if the failure to activate has quite a lot to do with what Angilla suggested. That the stress and strain of it all can make it just too hard.

Edited January 6, 2007 by Phedre LeCroix