Building Filipino Community in the U.S.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Greetings to all the Filipinos here! My wife and stepson our about to celebrate being here in the states now for 7 years! She got her U.S. citizenship last summer and is in her final year at a state university, obtaining her bachelor's as a dental hygienist. It's been a long road for us - many pitfalls and many difficulties that weighed heavily on us. We've lived in two different states during that time and connecting to other Filipinos has been essential to feeling a little less homesick (she hasn't been back). I don't know how she could have made it through without that kind of support from our local Filipino community.

For those Filipinos and their spouses who've been in the states now, how has the transition been for you? Have you connected with any local Filipinos in your community (church)? If so, how important has it been to be able to celebrate familiar traditions and how has your non-Filipino spouse integrated into those celebrations? What do you hope your social life to be like as you two spend your lives together?

[Gumbolette 58]

I've been here for close to 5 years this November,and I have been back to the Philippines once since I moved to the US permanently. Even before I moved to the US, I was not as festive like any other Filipinos maybe in the country. It's not until Im on the the brink of my 2nd year in the states I started meeting Filipinos in the surrounding areas. But you always learn it the hard way that its your own roots can do such damaging things to yourself. (Gossiping, backstabbing, and "trying to keep up with the Jones") I've always mind my own business anyway but I gave myself the chance to be acquainted to the Filipino culture and share it with fellow Filipinos in the area but I was pretty disappointed with the outcome.I threw my hands up in the air, and say...Fuss it! I have my white and black friends.

My ex-husband was never truly excited of Filipino culture and its traditions. So it was pretty hard to share events and occasions with him which made me even just shrug off any Philippine holidays. I came from a family who celebrates "notche Buena' (night dinner) by Christmas eve, to only me and him --eating in Olive Garden the night before Christmas.

Needless to say, Its important to have Friends esp a group of people that understands and share your own culture. Once you have that circle, choose the ones that you think you can trust, and values friendship. These people are the ones that can make you feel "home" away from home. I am blessed to have few but quality friends to celebrate few Philippine events.

Edited January 22, 2014 by Cutie_Patootie

[Hank_ 9,173]

Ya that kind of stuff is an issue for sure and sadly fairly common - Gossiping, backstabbing, and "trying to keep up with the Jones.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I've been here for close to 5 years this November,and I have been back to the Philippines once since I moved to the US permanently. Even before I moved to the US, I was not as festive like any other Filipinos maybe in the country. It's not until Im on the the brink of my 2nd year in the states I started meeting Filipinos in the surrounding areas. But you always learn it the hard way that its your own roots can do such damaging things to yourself. (Gossiping, backstabbing, and "trying to keep up with the Jones") I've always mind my own business anyway but I gave myself the chance to be acquainted to the Filipino culture and share it with fellow Filipinos in the area but I was pretty disappointed with the outcome.I threw my hands up in the air, and say...Fuss it! I have my white and black friends.

My ex-husband was never truly excited of Filipino culture and its traditions. So it was pretty hard to share events and occasions with him which made me even just shrug off any Philippine holidays. I came from a family who celebrates "notche Buena' (night dinner) by Christmas eve, to only me and him --eating in Olive Garden the night before Christmas.

Needless to say, Its important to have Friends esp a group of people that understands and share your own culture. Once you have that circle, choose the ones that you think you can trust, and values friendship. These people are the ones that can make you feel "home" away from home. I am blessed to have few but quality friends to celebrate few Philippine events.

Hi CP! Thanks for sharing! I have noticed among the current Filipino community, a lot of drama (backstabbing, gossip) among some of them. It's gotten to the point that some are choosing sides, so we don't see all the regulars at gatherings anymore because of bad blood. I've noticed that some Filipinos, if they feel they've been crossed by someone, they get very vengeful. I don't go to all the gatherings as much as I used to mainly because a lot of the non-Filipino spouses are not very sociable.

My wife has made lots of non-Filipino friends and she seems content knowing that the Filipino community here is what it is - fun to gather from time to time, but not necessarily people she can confide in. Still, it serves a great purpose in keeping her feeling connected to her roots.

Edited January 22, 2014 by Porterhouse