Marrying wth a prenup contract?

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

We talked earlier and i agreed.. Thanks for all the comments nd suggestion i understand this is something very important to discuss about. of course he told me for our protection

It is for his protection only. He wants an out if things don't work out. The bolded should be a clue. If you decide to go though with it anyways, do not sign anything until you arrive in the US, and have a lawyer of your choosing (that he pays for) go over the agreement with you, and make sure he agrees to any amendments suggested by your lawyer to protect your rights.

Of course i understand his side.. He xplained everything to me now. Besides i trust his judgement.

So many red flags!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

BTW, the prenup does not abrogate any contract with the US Government or any obligation under law he has as your sponsor

[Dustin and Janen 86]

do not sign anything until you arrive in the US, and have a lawyer of your choosing (that he pays for) go over the agreement with you, and make sure he agrees to any amendments suggested by your lawyer to protect your rights.

Yes do this! Always a good idea to have your own unbiased legal council to make sure what you are signing is actually in your best interest.

[John&Juvy 36]

Consider what other members said. Don't be shy or feel awkward for asking him your own lawyer.

BTW, I have very close friend living in Maryland. Her husband didn't mention to her about the prenup when she was still in the Philippines while processing her visa. 1 week after she arrived her husband told her that he want to have a prenup. She was heart broken and disappointed, but she signed anyway, coz she love the guy and didn't marry him for his money. 2 years after their marriage the guy cheated on her, travel a lot in all different countries without her. Then later the guy also decided not to have any children with her also anymore. Now they are married for 7 years... situation still the same, they already separated but she still staying at her husband house and paying for a rent. The husband probably going to file for a divorce soon. Her regret is why she didn't ask for her own lawyer before and she just did signed and agreed of whatever her husband put on the prenup contract.. coz of the thought that it wasn't worth to question it, coz she trust and love her husband. She got nothing from him.. not help not even a right to stay at the house unless she's going to give him a money as her rent ! What a De**h .

Wish you the best !

Edited August 3, 2013 by John&Juvy

[davenjanet 22]

A pre-nup does not necessarily override the divorce laws in your state. Therefore you may still owe alimony to an ex-spouse or child support if there were children in the marriage.

It's a tough call for both the man and the woman but in some cases there are legitimate reasons to do it.

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

Consider what other members said. Don't be shy or feel awkward for asking him your own lawyer.

BTW, I have very close friend living in Maryland. Her husband didn't mention to her about the prenup when she was still in the Philippines while processing her visa. 1 week after she arrived her husband told her that he want to have a prenup. She was heart broken and disappointed, but she signed anyway, coz she love the guy and didn't marry him for his money. 2 years after their marriage the guy cheated on her, travel a lot in all different countries without her. Then later the guy also decided not to have any children with her also anymore. Now they are married for 7 years... situation still the same, they already separated but she still staying at her husband house and paying for a rent. The husband probably going to file for a divorce soon. Her regret is why she didn't ask for her own lawyer before and she just did signed and agreed of whatever her husband put on the prenup contract.. coz of the thought that it wasn't worth to question it, coz she trust and love her husband. She got nothing from him.. not help not even a right to stay at the house unless she's going to give him a money as her rent ! What a De**h .

Wish you the best !

Most prenups, at least in California, require that a separate Lawyer inspects the prenup for the disadvantaged Spouse.

You should have your close friend contact a Divorce Attorney to gauge the validity of the prenup agreement.

Prenups are not meant to harm but to protect, IMHO.

[Dustin and Janen 86]

Consider what other members said. Don't be shy or feel awkward for asking him your own lawyer.

BTW, I have very close friend living in Maryland. Her husband didn't mention to her about the prenup when she was still in the Philippines while processing her visa. 1 week after she arrived her husband told her that he want to have a prenup. She was heart broken and disappointed, but she signed anyway, coz she love the guy and didn't marry him for his money. 2 years after their marriage the guy cheated on her, travel a lot in all different countries without her. Then later the guy also decided not to have any children with her also anymore. Now they are married for 7 years... situation still the same, they already separated but she still staying at her husband house and paying for a rent. The husband probably going to file for a divorce soon. Her regret is why she didn't ask for her own lawyer before and she just did signed and agreed of whatever her husband put on the prenup contract.. coz of the thought that it wasn't worth to question it, coz she trust and love her husband. She got nothing from him.. not help not even a right to stay at the house unless she's going to give him a money as her rent ! What a De**h .

Wish you the best !

He cheated? Haha. A good lawyer can make that prenup go away. Depending on the laws in her state she might not be in bad shape even with prenup. She needs to get a good lawyer like yesterday.

[John&Juvy 36]

My husband told me the same thing about her problem. But there is actually more of a story recently that this option may not gonna apply to her anymore. But thanks for more of the advice here. Will mention it to her. Hopefully this not gonna add up with her regrets.

[JoBri 545]

I am glad my Filipino wife didn't make ME sign a pre-nup. She is the wealthy one in this marriage. I am the poor US citizen. That would have really sucked. I mean, there are so many fears and insecurities going into all this to begin with. I mean, the long distance relationship in most cases, and the differences in culture, and all the rumors and stories one hears. Before I met my wife I never even would talk with anyone from another country because of not trusting anyone from overseas and their intentions. My wife was wealthier than me and had secure, professional employment, which I did not have. But in keeping with ONE pre-condition I made a long time ago, I refused to ever move to be with someone I fell in love with. I was firm in that if I met someone this time, she would have to be willing to come here to be with me. That gave me a little sense of security at least. And in my wife's case she had to give up quite a lot to come to be with me. But she did. But if she required ME to sign a pre-nup, I would have been so scared off I would have RUN as far away from her as I could have as fast as I could. That is how scared I was of this whole relationship with someone so far away.

So, I can only imagine how it would be for a woman who isnt so well off, who leaves all that is familiar and secure to her behind, including the job that meant a meager existence for her, but yet existence. Imagine leaving it ALL behind to go to this foreign country, the USA, a totally different culture, with nothing of security there other than your husband and his word. So frightening it would be to have the one you love ask you to sign a pre-nup then too. It just wouldn't be right, to me. It would be very sad, actually, to put her through that...

Edited August 4, 2013 by Brijo

[James&Edlie 2]

If you have thoughts of a prenup, then you are not certain about how strong your relationship is.

[Micasa 0]

I do believe you are right for me. That's why I'm pursuing you. I believe I can offer you what you want in a man and you can offer me what I want in a woman. However, if for whatever reason I am wrong, neither one of us should spend the rest of our life working to pay the other person. That's all a prenup does.

-this is his message..

He agrees i have my own lawyer:)

[del-2-5-2014 1,339]

He agrees i have my own lawyer:)

He's wrong about what a prenup does but that's cool.

Do not retreat from having your own independent Lawyer review the prenup (I am very pro prenup by the way).

I also don't think that you should be sharing your personal communications with us.

[jimmysmitts 9]

I think they are a bad idea just because you are going into the marriage with a plan to fail, you should be going into head first, all in.

If I lived some place like Florida with permanent alimony I might insist on it.

[madtownguy 164]

Consider what other members said. Don't be shy or feel awkward for asking him your own lawyer.

BTW, I have very close friend living in Maryland. Her husband didn't mention to her about the prenup when she was still in the Philippines while processing her visa. 1 week after she arrived her husband told her that he want to have a prenup. She was heart broken and disappointed, but she signed anyway, coz she love the guy and didn't marry him for his money. 2 years after their marriage the guy cheated on her, travel a lot in all different countries without her. Then later the guy also decided not to have any children with her also anymore. Now they are married for 7 years... situation still the same, they already separated but she still staying at her husband house and paying for a rent. The husband probably going to file for a divorce soon. Her regret is why she didn't ask for her own lawyer before and she just did signed and agreed of whatever her husband put on the prenup contract.. coz of the thought that it wasn't worth to question it, coz she trust and love her husband. She got nothing from him.. not help not even a right to stay at the house unless she's going to give him a money as her rent ! What a De**h .

Wish you the best !

7 years is a long time, most pre-nups cover quick divorce and every state is different. If you are giving up a lot monetary wise then don't sign but it makes no sense if you are coming from nothing and getting married that all of a sudden you are entitled to the money. It makes a lot more sense for the person with the money to create a trust fund, if done right you essentially look broke so the pre-nup is a waste. If you are getting married and a prenup stops you I would think your intentions are wrong.

[madtownguy 164]

I think they are a bad idea just because you are going into the marriage with a plan to fail, you should be going into head first, all in.

If I lived some place like Florida with permanent alimony I might insist on it.

Do you plan to get in a crash when you put on your seat belt? Florida has horrible pre-nup support, it's almost worthless here. Like mentioned earlier you can set up your estate to be untouchable with certain legal planning.