Advise on When to Plan the Wedding or Religious Ceremony

[Maxheadspace 50]

1. First, we have a wedding planned and know that we now have to marry in the United States. We have decided we will just make it a religious ceremony, unrecognized by the U.S. Government (as their website states) but, are torn with how to do it. We have all of these services rented, a dress bought, a pastor coming, etc. However some of the advice I have been reading here suggests it cannot resemble any form of wedding, ie - dress, honeymoon, rings, etc. Should we make it a really little celebration or suck up the costs and redo it after we eventually marry in the US?
   I'm not looking for legal advice, just practical advice. It is to be a small gathering of family, mostly those in Canada. However, discovering this it hurts me to admit we may have to reschedule and I know her parents have been planning and spending to get ready. Thankfully, invitations have yet to go out.
   
2. We may have that celebration and then have to worry about the prospect of doing it and me moving back without her as we continue to wait for the visa to come through. I have a pretty good job so I cannot afford to just stay with her and wait. How do you guys manage that kind of seperation? We have done summers apart (3-4 months at a time) for four years now and it really sucks. Since leaving Canada in December, this is becoming our longest distance apartment. Skype is only so good...
   

Any theories or ideas we should think about for the wedding? Something I may have missed?

I think it's a legal issue that you can answer yourself. If you do a church wedding without marriage license, will it be recognized by Canada so that you would be able to accrue marriage benefits like marital tax breaks? If not, then I would say you won't have a problem with it. Likewise, if the church "wedding" without license would not be recognized to receive benefits as a married couple in the US, then I would say it's not a wedding for legal purposes. In your case, I would say you probably would be OK. Call it a "blessing" instead of "wedding". Happens all the time when couples are separated long distances from their families. Have a wedding one place, a blessing in the other. As long as it doesn't change your names, I would think you're safe.

P.S., there are exceptions...namely common law marriage. Most States in the US do not recognize common law marriage. I don't know about Canada. A common law marriage is where you live together and hold yourself out to be married. After a certain period of time it automatically converts to a legitimate marriage (normally one or two years of cohabitation). Check on this.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Maxheadspace

[bigdog 377]

Keeping it simple, any marriage USCIS of NVC finds out about will most likely jeopardize our application and you will have to start over. Make general plans and keep all dates open, when you get the visa, firm it all up. Anything you do to change the flow delays actions by the government, there is not fast way to do this. If you get married reapply as such and pay more money, wait more time.

[Mariana2012 89]

Well, the pastor (a friend) who will be officiating the ceremony has not renewed his licensing as an officiant. He has no legal power in the province to perform a legal marriage. He has also agreed to bring no paperwork.

Even if he is authorized you need a marriage license, without documents signed it is just a blessing don't worry. You can't be married with " verbal agreement " at least not in Canada and US.

Edited April 3, 2013 by Mariana2012