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Meeting Fiancee's Parents

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Hi VJers. I'm flying to the Phils in a couple of weeks and will meet my Fiancee's parents and family in her Province for the first time. What should I expect and what are some things I should do to earn their trust and respect. I understand most of the culture and I'm not too worried. Just want to cover all bases. My Fiancee's interview is in April so it is nearing the time where my Fiancee and her daughter will leave their home. Her family knows our intentions and plans but I would just like to know how to address their concerns (if any). Thanks in advance.

01/12/2013: POE
02/14/2013: MARRIED ON VALENTINE'S DAY!
03/18/2013: AOS Sent via USPS Express Mail
03/28/2013: NOA - AOS, AP, EAD
04/25/2013: Biometrics

05/28/2013: RFEs for EADs and APs

06/17/2013: AOS Interviews. Approved

06/26/2013: Green Cards Received! (APs and EAD also received but not needed)

Removal of Conditions

===================================

03/25/2015: Mailed I-751

04/06/2015: NOA1

05/05/2015: Biometrics

07/27/2015: RFE

09/07/2015: RFE Response - Additional Evidence Sent

11/19/2015: Interview - APPROVED!

12/15/2016: Green Cards Issued!

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

I don't know what to tell you Amy's dad was sitting out at the curb when we pulled up in front of Amy's home... at least he didn't have a shotgun! :whistle:

Actually his big concern was that I take very good care of his daughter, after that all was good, he wanted my assurance of that and my hand shake. After that all was good... let's party!!

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

Picture

 

“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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Filed: AOS (apr) Country: Philippines
Timeline

My fiancee's father wanted the same assurance that Hank above said. He shook hands. I spoke to him privately and asked his permission to marry his daughter. He asked me if I love her and if I will take care of her. After addressing his concerns he gave me his blessings and 2 days later I proposed to her.

Make sure you are humble. If the family is eating with their hand don't look down on them. You may want to eat with your hands or if you choose to eat with your utensils don't do it in a demeaning way. Find something postive to commend about their home. Even if they live on the side of a mountain with a smoldering volcano, commend them about the beautiful view and scenery from their home. You get the idea... :star::star::star:

Sent I-129 Application to VSC 2/1/12
NOA1 2/8/12
RFE 8/2/12
RFE reply 8/3/12
NOA2 8/16/12
NVC received 8/27/12
NVC left 8/29/12
Manila Embassy received 9/5/12
Visa appointment & approval 9/7/12
Arrived in US 10/5/2012
Married 11/24/2012
AOS application sent 12/19/12

AOS approved 8/24/13

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Take some gifts, plan a party to meet the family - a pig for lechon works well, and ask your fiance to explain comfort room procedures to you if you don't know already.

Service Center : California Service Center

Consulate : Manilla, Philipines

2009-07-15: Marriage

2011-03-23: I-130 Sent

2011-03-29: I-130 NOA1

2011-07-09: I-130 RFE

2011-08-16: RFE Reply Sent

2011-08-18: RFE Reply Received at USCIS

2011-09-19: NOA2 approved

2011-10-12: Received NVC

2011-10-20: Paid $88 fee

2011-11-29 NVC submitted

2011-12-08 NVC approved

2011-12-12 Received interview date - need to change

2012-02-01 New Interview Date - need to change again - sputum required

2012-01-11 Medical - 3 day sputum required

2012-01-18 Begin 3 day sputum test

2012-01-23 Results of Sputum negative now wait for 2 month culture

2012-03-21 ***culture results*** NEGATIVE!!!

2012-03-27 Interview!!!

***APPROVED***

2012-03-30 IR-1 delivered, still waiting for IR-2

2012-04-04 IR-2 Delivered!!!

2012-06-08 POE LA

2012-06-20 SS card arrives

2012-06-26 Green Cards arrive

2012-07-03 Health Dept calls for follow-up TB testing?

** Ramona went through more testing including xrays. The doctor said he couldn't find any evidence of Tb and cleared her for everything.

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A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

Edited by Joelb1

10/19/2011- FedEx'd I-129F

10/20/2011 - Received @ Dallas Lockbox

10/25/2011 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA1

10/28/2011 - Received NOA1 Hardcopy

02/11/2012 - Received E-mail/Text RFE

02/13/2012 - Received Hardcopy of RFE

02/16/2012 - Fedex'd RFE response

02/17/2012 - Received RFE response @ VSC

02/24/2012 - Received E-mail/Text, RFE Response Review

03/07/2012 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA2 (134 days)

03/10/2012 - Received NOA2 Hardcopy

03/13/2012 - NVC Received I129F Approval Packet

03/20/2012 - NVC Sent Packet to Embassy

04/04/2012 - Embassy Received Packet

04/16/2012 - Fiancee received Packet 3.

04/30/2012 - Fiancee responded to Packet 3

06/21/2012 - Interview Date. Visais Approved!.

07/01/2012 - Received Visa from Go2

07/05/2012 - Arrived in USA. Chicago POE.

07/05/2012 - Arrived in Washington.

07/27/2012 - Married (Yea)

09/01/2012 - AOS, AP, EAD Applied for via USPS Registered Mail

09/09/2012 - EMails for all three forms arrived.

09/1?/2012 - NOA 1s for all three arrived.

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Duplicate delete please

Edited by Joelb1

10/19/2011- FedEx'd I-129F

10/20/2011 - Received @ Dallas Lockbox

10/25/2011 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA1

10/28/2011 - Received NOA1 Hardcopy

02/11/2012 - Received E-mail/Text RFE

02/13/2012 - Received Hardcopy of RFE

02/16/2012 - Fedex'd RFE response

02/17/2012 - Received RFE response @ VSC

02/24/2012 - Received E-mail/Text, RFE Response Review

03/07/2012 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA2 (134 days)

03/10/2012 - Received NOA2 Hardcopy

03/13/2012 - NVC Received I129F Approval Packet

03/20/2012 - NVC Sent Packet to Embassy

04/04/2012 - Embassy Received Packet

04/16/2012 - Fiancee received Packet 3.

04/30/2012 - Fiancee responded to Packet 3

06/21/2012 - Interview Date. Visais Approved!.

07/01/2012 - Received Visa from Go2

07/05/2012 - Arrived in USA. Chicago POE.

07/05/2012 - Arrived in Washington.

07/27/2012 - Married (Yea)

09/01/2012 - AOS, AP, EAD Applied for via USPS Registered Mail

09/09/2012 - EMails for all three forms arrived.

09/1?/2012 - NOA 1s for all three arrived.

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A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

:thumbs:

Touching the elders hand to your forehead is a big one. Good call!

Service Center : California Service Center

Consulate : Manilla, Philipines

2009-07-15: Marriage

2011-03-23: I-130 Sent

2011-03-29: I-130 NOA1

2011-07-09: I-130 RFE

2011-08-16: RFE Reply Sent

2011-08-18: RFE Reply Received at USCIS

2011-09-19: NOA2 approved

2011-10-12: Received NVC

2011-10-20: Paid $88 fee

2011-11-29 NVC submitted

2011-12-08 NVC approved

2011-12-12 Received interview date - need to change

2012-02-01 New Interview Date - need to change again - sputum required

2012-01-11 Medical - 3 day sputum required

2012-01-18 Begin 3 day sputum test

2012-01-23 Results of Sputum negative now wait for 2 month culture

2012-03-21 ***culture results*** NEGATIVE!!!

2012-03-27 Interview!!!

***APPROVED***

2012-03-30 IR-1 delivered, still waiting for IR-2

2012-04-04 IR-2 Delivered!!!

2012-06-08 POE LA

2012-06-20 SS card arrives

2012-06-26 Green Cards arrive

2012-07-03 Health Dept calls for follow-up TB testing?

** Ramona went through more testing including xrays. The doctor said he couldn't find any evidence of Tb and cleared her for everything.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

Agreed, small gifts for all will go a long way. Nothing extravagant or even expensive. It just shows you were thinking of them too.

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Filed: K-1 Visa Country: Philippines
Timeline

I second the suggestions of a gift for the family members and the blessing. The blessing is called "Mano Po". This is not done just upon meeting them, it is expected every evening actually. They will love that if they don't expect you to do it. Also learn some basic Tagalog. It is very appreciated that you try even if you butcher the pronunciation. If they laugh, they aren't laughing at you they are just flattered that you are trying to impress them. Hosting dinner is a major bonus! As much as I hate to admit it, their culture is heavily stricken with poverty in most places. It sounds tacky, but if you can I would leave behind some cash as a parting gift. (optional, but recommended) The Filipino culture is notorious for the fact that "you marry the girl, you marry the entire family". Just let them get to know you and be totally transparent. Let them see what it is that your future bride sees.

Oh! One more thing!! DON'T HUG!! LOL..... I'm a hugger, but they don't respond to it like you would think. I would also keep your physical affection with your fiancé to a minimum while you are in the presence of her family until you know how they feel about it. Most families will frown on you two staying together in a hotel or something. I would make sure you have a clear understanding of how they would feel about that before doing it. I asked her Nanay's permission before she came with me.

Good luck! Feel free to ask any questions! I kept it short cuz you say you know their culture, but if there's anything else let me know.

4/4/11 ---- Met on filipino.com

10/17/11-10/21/11 ---- visited Jinkie in Philippines

10/23/11 ---- proposed to Jinkie

12/7/11 ---- mailed I-129F

12/12/11----Received at VSC

12/14/11 ---- NOA1 (email/txt) I-129F received

12/16/11 ---- NOA1 (mail) I-129F received

12/23/11 ---- Touched

3/12-21/12 ---- Visited Jinkie in Philippines

4/13/12 --- 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY!

4/20/12 ---- NOA2

4/23/12 ---- Received NOA2 email/text

5/16/12 ---- NVC letter with case number saying within a week petition will be forwarded to Embassy

6/15/12 --- Scheduled Interview appt

6/18/12 --- Received instruction letter from PI embassy

6/19/12 --- Medical Exam

7/2/12 --- INTERVIEW!

7/25/12 --- Needed Police Clearance from Bahrain. Arrived and sent to Embassy 7/25

---- CALLED REPEATEDLY!!! ----

8/23/12 --- Visa Issued

8/29/12 --- Visa Received

8/30/12 --- CFO Seminar Completed

8/31/12 --- Arrived at POE - Detroit WOOHOO!! IN MY ARMS AGAIN!!!

11/1/12 --- Married!!!!

Adjustment of Status

11/15/12--- filed AOS

11/20/12--- NOA1

Brian - Shreveport, Louisiana

Jinkie - Quezon City, Philippines

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

"I can do all things through CHRIST who strengthens me" - Philippians 4:13

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Filed: Country: Philippines
Timeline

I concur with the above comments -- and a couple of bags of chocolate will make you a hero in the eyes of the small kids in the family.

"The Marines I have seen around the world have the cleanest bodies, the filthiest minds, the highest morale, and the lowest morals of any group of animals I have ever seen. Thank God for the United States Marine Corps!" - Eleanor Roosevelt, First Lady of the United States, 1945.

"Retreat hell! We just got here!"

CAPT. LLOYD WILLIAMS, USMC

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Filed: Other Country: Philippines
Timeline

For sure a party, which we had that day ( and yes my treat )... in fact everyone from their church showed up too.

And yes chocolate and gummies... the kids love the gummies.

Half of the stuff I am packing is gifts this trip.

Hank

"Chance Favors The Prepared Mind"

 

Picture

 

“LET’S GO BRANDON!”

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For sure a party, which we had that day ( and yes my treat )... in fact everyone from their church showed up too.

And yes chocolate and gummies... the kids love the gummies.

Half of the stuff I am packing is gifts this trip.

The most requested items I get are small chocolates and perfume or body sprays - Bath and Body Works or something similar usually has a sale bin where I stock up. But please don't forget the chocolates!

Service Center : California Service Center

Consulate : Manilla, Philipines

2009-07-15: Marriage

2011-03-23: I-130 Sent

2011-03-29: I-130 NOA1

2011-07-09: I-130 RFE

2011-08-16: RFE Reply Sent

2011-08-18: RFE Reply Received at USCIS

2011-09-19: NOA2 approved

2011-10-12: Received NVC

2011-10-20: Paid $88 fee

2011-11-29 NVC submitted

2011-12-08 NVC approved

2011-12-12 Received interview date - need to change

2012-02-01 New Interview Date - need to change again - sputum required

2012-01-11 Medical - 3 day sputum required

2012-01-18 Begin 3 day sputum test

2012-01-23 Results of Sputum negative now wait for 2 month culture

2012-03-21 ***culture results*** NEGATIVE!!!

2012-03-27 Interview!!!

***APPROVED***

2012-03-30 IR-1 delivered, still waiting for IR-2

2012-04-04 IR-2 Delivered!!!

2012-06-08 POE LA

2012-06-20 SS card arrives

2012-06-26 Green Cards arrive

2012-07-03 Health Dept calls for follow-up TB testing?

** Ramona went through more testing including xrays. The doctor said he couldn't find any evidence of Tb and cleared her for everything.

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Share on other sites

Filed: Timeline

Hi VJers. I'm flying to the Phils in a couple of weeks and will meet my Fiancee's parents and family in her Province for the first time. What should I expect and what are some things I should do to earn their trust and respect. I understand most of the culture and I'm not too worried. Just want to cover all bases. My Fiancee's interview is in April so it is nearing the time where my Fiancee and her daughter will leave their home. Her family knows our intentions and plans but I would just like to know how to address their concerns (if any). Thanks in advance.

Bring the pasalubong. American cigarettes go over big if dad smokes. Some earrings or a watch for mom. Anything American is a big hit. Bring something for everybody and bring a few extras for the ones that suddenly show up unexpected. You will probably have to take the family out to a nice place before you can court the daughter with the parents approval. Get in good with dad. Once you do, then you can relax. Scariest night of my life. Then before I left, I took the family to Tagaytay for a picnic. All this was expected, so just follow your fiancee's lead.

Take lots of picture of both of you with family. You will need those later.

:thumbs:

Touching the elders hand to your forehead is a big one. Good call!

Only if they are much older than you! You look silly if you and her parents are about the same age.

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Thanks for all the great tips and suggestions. I'm familiar with everything that was said here and for sure will remember those things. My biggest concerns was how to deal with Tatay, Nanay and all the Titos and Titas. I know that I need to respectfully ask Tatay and Nanay for their blessings and was banging my head on the wall on how and when to do this. I've never asked a father and mother for their blessings before, and certainly not in the Philippines. Many Many Thanks VJers.

PS: Didn't know about the gummies. Thought it was chocolate all the way. Thanks for the new tip.

01/12/2013: POE
02/14/2013: MARRIED ON VALENTINE'S DAY!
03/18/2013: AOS Sent via USPS Express Mail
03/28/2013: NOA - AOS, AP, EAD
04/25/2013: Biometrics

05/28/2013: RFEs for EADs and APs

06/17/2013: AOS Interviews. Approved

06/26/2013: Green Cards Received! (APs and EAD also received but not needed)

Removal of Conditions

===================================

03/25/2015: Mailed I-751

04/06/2015: NOA1

05/05/2015: Biometrics

07/27/2015: RFE

09/07/2015: RFE Response - Additional Evidence Sent

11/19/2015: Interview - APPROVED!

12/15/2016: Green Cards Issued!

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Share on other sites

I usually pick up a Mars assortment at the. Duty Free store in Narita, and lt me tell you the ENTIRE bag is gone in 2 hours flat. And OMG the kids are wired the rest of the evening. :)

10/19/2011- FedEx'd I-129F

10/20/2011 - Received @ Dallas Lockbox

10/25/2011 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA1

10/28/2011 - Received NOA1 Hardcopy

02/11/2012 - Received E-mail/Text RFE

02/13/2012 - Received Hardcopy of RFE

02/16/2012 - Fedex'd RFE response

02/17/2012 - Received RFE response @ VSC

02/24/2012 - Received E-mail/Text, RFE Response Review

03/07/2012 - Received E-mail/Text for NOA2 (134 days)

03/10/2012 - Received NOA2 Hardcopy

03/13/2012 - NVC Received I129F Approval Packet

03/20/2012 - NVC Sent Packet to Embassy

04/04/2012 - Embassy Received Packet

04/16/2012 - Fiancee received Packet 3.

04/30/2012 - Fiancee responded to Packet 3

06/21/2012 - Interview Date. Visais Approved!.

07/01/2012 - Received Visa from Go2

07/05/2012 - Arrived in USA. Chicago POE.

07/05/2012 - Arrived in Washington.

07/27/2012 - Married (Yea)

09/01/2012 - AOS, AP, EAD Applied for via USPS Registered Mail

09/09/2012 - EMails for all three forms arrived.

09/1?/2012 - NOA 1s for all three arrived.

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Share on other sites

 
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