Meeting Fiancee's Parents

[six7one 17]

Hi VJers. I'm flying to the Phils in a couple of weeks and will meet my Fiancee's parents and family in her Province for the first time. What should I expect and what are some things I should do to earn their trust and respect. I understand most of the culture and I'm not too worried. Just want to cover all bases. My Fiancee's interview is in April so it is nearing the time where my Fiancee and her daughter will leave their home. Her family knows our intentions and plans but I would just like to know how to address their concerns (if any). Thanks in advance.

[Hank_ 9,173]

I don't know what to tell you Amy's dad was sitting out at the curb when we pulled up in front of Amy's home... at least he didn't have a shotgun!

Actually his big concern was that I take very good care of his daughter, after that all was good, he wanted my assurance of that and my hand shake. After that all was good... let's party!!

[X Factor 1,110]

My fiancee's father wanted the same assurance that Hank above said. He shook hands. I spoke to him privately and asked his permission to marry his daughter. He asked me if I love her and if I will take care of her. After addressing his concerns he gave me his blessings and 2 days later I proposed to her.

Make sure you are humble. If the family is eating with their hand don't look down on them. You may want to eat with your hands or if you choose to eat with your utensils don't do it in a demeaning way. Find something postive to commend about their home. Even if they live on the side of a mountain with a smoldering volcano, commend them about the beautiful view and scenery from their home. You get the idea...

[RandR333 9]

Take some gifts, plan a party to meet the family - a pig for lechon works well, and ask your fiance to explain comfort room procedures to you if you don't know already.

[EmelyNJoel 43]

A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

Edited March 1, 2012 by Joelb1

[EmelyNJoel 43]

Duplicate delete please

Edited March 1, 2012 by Joelb1

[RandR333 9]

A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

Touching the elders hand to your forehead is a big one. Good call!

[gary9891 10]

A small gift for the family members in the home. When you meet Tatay (dad) and Nanay (mom), and they hold out their hands to shake, take their hand and touch your forehead with it, as a sign of respect.it is receiving their blessing...

Agreed, small gifts for all will go a long way. Nothing extravagant or even expensive. It just shows you were thinking of them too.

[Brian-n-Jinkie 3]

I second the suggestions of a gift for the family members and the blessing. The blessing is called "Mano Po". This is not done just upon meeting them, it is expected every evening actually. They will love that if they don't expect you to do it. Also learn some basic Tagalog. It is very appreciated that you try even if you butcher the pronunciation. If they laugh, they aren't laughing at you they are just flattered that you are trying to impress them. Hosting dinner is a major bonus! As much as I hate to admit it, their culture is heavily stricken with poverty in most places. It sounds tacky, but if you can I would leave behind some cash as a parting gift. (optional, but recommended) The Filipino culture is notorious for the fact that "you marry the girl, you marry the entire family". Just let them get to know you and be totally transparent. Let them see what it is that your future bride sees.

Oh! One more thing!! DON'T HUG!! LOL..... I'm a hugger, but they don't respond to it like you would think. I would also keep your physical affection with your fiancé to a minimum while you are in the presence of her family until you know how they feel about it. Most families will frown on you two staying together in a hotel or something. I would make sure you have a clear understanding of how they would feel about that before doing it. I asked her Nanay's permission before she came with me.

Good luck! Feel free to ask any questions! I kept it short cuz you say you know their culture, but if there's anything else let me know.

[Leatherneck 693]

I concur with the above comments -- and a couple of bags of chocolate will make you a hero in the eyes of the small kids in the family.

[Hank_ 9,173]

For sure a party, which we had that day ( and yes my treat )... in fact everyone from their church showed up too.

And yes chocolate and gummies... the kids love the gummies.

Half of the stuff I am packing is gifts this trip.

[RandR333 9]

For sure a party, which we had that day ( and yes my treat )... in fact everyone from their church showed up too.

And yes chocolate and gummies... the kids love the gummies.

Half of the stuff I am packing is gifts this trip.

The most requested items I get are small chocolates and perfume or body sprays - Bath and Body Works or something similar usually has a sale bin where I stock up. But please don't forget the chocolates!

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Hi VJers. I'm flying to the Phils in a couple of weeks and will meet my Fiancee's parents and family in her Province for the first time. What should I expect and what are some things I should do to earn their trust and respect. I understand most of the culture and I'm not too worried. Just want to cover all bases. My Fiancee's interview is in April so it is nearing the time where my Fiancee and her daughter will leave their home. Her family knows our intentions and plans but I would just like to know how to address their concerns (if any). Thanks in advance.

Bring the pasalubong. American cigarettes go over big if dad smokes. Some earrings or a watch for mom. Anything American is a big hit. Bring something for everybody and bring a few extras for the ones that suddenly show up unexpected. You will probably have to take the family out to a nice place before you can court the daughter with the parents approval. Get in good with dad. Once you do, then you can relax. Scariest night of my life. Then before I left, I took the family to Tagaytay for a picnic. All this was expected, so just follow your fiancee's lead.

Take lots of picture of both of you with family. You will need those later.

Touching the elders hand to your forehead is a big one. Good call!

Only if they are much older than you! You look silly if you and her parents are about the same age.

[six7one 17]

Thanks for all the great tips and suggestions. I'm familiar with everything that was said here and for sure will remember those things. My biggest concerns was how to deal with Tatay, Nanay and all the Titos and Titas. I know that I need to respectfully ask Tatay and Nanay for their blessings and was banging my head on the wall on how and when to do this. I've never asked a father and mother for their blessings before, and certainly not in the Philippines. Many Many Thanks VJers.

PS: Didn't know about the gummies. Thought it was chocolate all the way. Thanks for the new tip.

[EmelyNJoel 43]

I usually pick up a Mars assortment at the. Duty Free store in Narita, and lt me tell you the ENTIRE bag is gone in 2 hours flat. And OMG the kids are wired the rest of the evening.