Things You Hate & Love About The Philippines

[mapletree 33]

From Wikipedia –

Crab mentality, sometimes referred to as crabs in the bucket, describes a way of thinking best described by the phrase "if I can't have it, neither can you." The metaphor refers to a pot of crabs. Individually, the crabs could easily escape from the pot, but instead, they grab at each other in a useless "king of the hill" competition (or sabotage) which prevents any from escaping and ensures their collective demise. The analogy in human behavior is that of a group that will attempt to "pull down" (negate or diminish the importance of) any member who achieves success beyond the others, out of envy, conspiracy or competitive feelings.

This term is broadly associated with short-sighted, non-constructive thinking rather than a unified, long-term, constructive mentality. It is also often used colloquially in reference to individuals or communities attempting to "escape" a so-called "underprivileged life," but kept from doing so by others attempting to ride upon their coat-tails or those who simply resent their success.

= = =

For me, it typically finds expression in the Philippines when a member of a family finds nominal success and gets into college or gets a decent job, only to be forced back home or to drop out and get a job to pay for family expenses or cover family obligations.

You might hear, “After two years college I had to drop out and help with my brother.”

The rare flower of success is often uprooted and pulled back home where it cannot grow.

Similarly you might find someone in a city that is making good money, but sending most of it back home and as a result they are struggling to survive and living a substandard life. This means they cannot affect the trappings of their work and as a result fail to advance. They fail to buy the nicer clothes, or go to the after office events or the like and live as cheaply as possible as their family in the province keeps them tapped out. Instead of saving and building a cushion, they live on the edge and a minor set back (sickness, layoff) sends them back home where they lose all their progress.

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

yep 0311 Cannon Fodder, hehehe.

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

ahh ok I get it , Thanks.

[Leatherneck 693]

yep 0311 Cannon Fodder, hehehe.

Hahahahaha, I laugh because my last unit was a Battalion of cannon-cockers! So I've been in support of the ground-pounder.

3/12 Camp Butler, Okinawa.

3rd BN. 12th Mar. 3rd Mar. Div.

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

1rst Mar Div, 9th Bat B company, miss my buddies.

[edwardteresa4ever 18]

First time I was in PI, I was 19yrs old, compliments of the USMC, Always loved the culture and food and people, not to mention I have always thought the women from that part of the world were beautiful, in so many ways. So, after my Divorce made a trip over to HK and it reminded me of how much I enjoyed the Asian Pacific rim, I had forgotten after all these years.

I met my girl online while I was spending the winter in Florida ( live in western pa ) one things led to another and here I am. I enjoy this site, so much to think about and love reading the posts. Still waiting the NOA2 but as difficult as it is, it definitely gives you time to reflect and absorb so that when she is here we can have a very good understanding of whats to come, at least as much as anyone ever knows what the future has in store.

I feel pretty lucky having met the girl I did, I would like to think that both of us being pretty bright and sharing so many similarities will be in good shape when this is all said and done. I think most importantly loving, as in truly loving is the best step forward. Hoping everyone is successful here.

[Leatherneck 693]

mapletree,

You make good points, hence the reason I would not make a good Filipino. I have too much of the rugged American 'individual' streak in my blood. However, I think it is very noble for one to gain some success then reach back to help other family members to achieve. But there is a helluva big difference from family 'expecting and demanding' help, to the help being 'voluntary.'

I know so many filipinos under tremendous financial stress due to sending money back to the Philippines each month.

There are other groups that suffer from the same "crab" mentality also, black Americans are a good example.

As a side note, but keeping close to the topic.

Filipinos are very tribal in nature and all too willing to please the family as opposed to pleasing themselves and will do mostly as the family wishes. I tried dating Filipnas in the US, if the family here does not approve of you, it will not happen. If a guy here does not meet their career and financial expectations, does not live in the right area or have much potential to earn exceptional money... it won't happen. Now I speak from my experience in California.

That is why I turned to the 'motherland' to look for a Pinay.

[paul_kay 31]

LOVE

I miss being able to commute because of the jeepneys and taxis.

The cheap movie tickets!

Cheap and good food!

The HEAT!

The aura when Manny Pacquiao has an incoming fight/ when he has a fight

Rice in McDonald's and in just about any American fastfood in the PI

Filipino humor

etc etc etc

HATE

too much heat (lol)

power tripping govt workers

etc etc etc

[Leatherneck 693]

First time I was in PI, I was 19yrs old, compliments of the USMC, Always loved the culture and food and people, not to mention I have always thought the women from that part of the world were beautiful, in so many ways. So, after my Divorce made a trip over to HK and it reminded me of how much I enjoyed the Asian Pacific rim, I had forgotten after all these years.

I met my girl online while I was spending the winter in Florida ( live in western pa ) one things led to another and here I am. I enjoy this site, so much to think about and love reading the posts. Still waiting the NOA2 but as difficult as it is, it definitely gives you time to reflect and absorb so that when she is here we can have a very good understanding of whats to come, at least as much as anyone ever knows what the future has in store.

I feel pretty lucky having met the girl I did, I would like to think that both of us being pretty bright and sharing so many similarities will be in good shape when this is all said and done. I think most importantly loving, as in truly loving is the best step forward. Hoping everyone is successful here.

We both have that in common. I was a few years older, but still a young man of 22 years when I first went to the Philippines.

As a young Marine, I remember the stories the old timers and other NCOs' would tell about the Philippines as we floated in the Atlantic or the North Atlantic on those exercises with the Europeans. They told me I had no idea what waited for me and I needed to experience it myself.

I knew if I ever got stationed on Okinawa I was would go to the Philippines, and boy, did I go. I traveled there so many times in my two years on the "Rock' I lost count.

I fell in love just as you did, with the people, their warmth, the country, the food, the culture and especially the sweet Filipinas. It has now been a 27 year love affair. My first wife was born in the Philippines but raised in San Diego from age 2 or 3, I quickly learned there is a world of difference in a Pinay raise here and a Pinay born and raised in the Philippines.

Look at this process as you did your time at MCRD, it was not very pleasant going through it, but well worth it on the other side.

Best wishes to you and the little lady!

[CristiFur 15]

LOVE

I miss being able to commute because of the jeepneys and taxis.

The cheap movie tickets!

Cheap and good food!

The HEAT!

The aura when Manny Pacquiao has an incoming fight/ when he has a fight

Rice in McDonald's and in just about any American fastfood in the PI

Filipino humor

etc etc etc

HATE

too much heat (lol)

power tripping govt workers

etc etc etc

Could not agree more!

Pang bola bola noh!

Trikes and Jeepneys! but I love the heat

[I AM NOT THAT GUY 5,715]

Similarly you might find someone in a city that is making good money, but sending most of it back home and as a result they are struggling to survive and living a substandard life. This means they cannot affect the trappings of their work and as a result fail to advance. They fail to buy the nicer clothes, or go to the after office events or the like and live as cheaply as possible as their family in the province keeps them tapped out. Instead of saving and building a cushion, they live on the edge and a minor set back (sickness, layoff) sends them back home where they lose all their progress.

That is a hard lesson for some Filipinos to learn, whether living in the US, or back in the Philippines. It seems many are used to being overly generous with their money, so that are not obligated to help anyone else once they are free of the burden. My wife insists I "manage" her funds, lest the money burn a hole in her pocket. Her parents will spend every last peso, even knowing they have expenses coming up, then ask for help when the expenses become due.

[Theresa0828 65]

Her parents will spend every last peso, even knowing they have expenses coming up, then ask for help when the expenses become due.

This reminds me of my Mom... hahahahaha

[southcalhog 43]

Don't forget the incredible amount of envy and jealousy, especially with regards to homes, cars and all things financial.

Filipinos in the US, at least in California are so damn competitive and envious.

But other than that, I love attitude about family and the beauty of a Filipina.

I agree with you 100% Leather neck! Especially in California! I see it also!

[Leatherneck 693]

I agree with you 100% Leather neck! Especially in California! I see it also!

Great! Then I'm not alone in my assessment of what I've witnessed and experienced personally.

In fact, I've invited Filipino friends out, and they'll ask me, "How many other Filipinos will be there?"

I go anyway for the food, drink and to socialize... I avoid the drama.

[TeapotGirl 66]

Love

1. The food. Even though the food portions in Philippine restaurants are the size of kid's meals in the USA, I always seem to gain weight when I'm there.

Try to have more activity. Since you are the visitor, people do most of the things for you.

2. The People, for the most part people in general are very friendly and easy-going. Well it did throw me off a bit, first time I was in The Philippines and i was jogging in my fiancee's subdivision and waving to people I pass by and no one waving back, but gave me weird stares in return. I asked my fiancee why no one wave back to me and she said, "why would they wave to you, they don't know you." LOL

They're shy. You look different too, their hand is paralyzed with "amazement".

3. My fiancee and I can go to the movies and only spend 200 pesos for both of us.

This prize is not in Manila. Prize range is from 150-800 per ticket

4. The atmosphere... the smell of lechon manok in the air, people driving on the wrong side of the road, naked baby in the steet, people killing a pig to lechon on the side of the street, not being able to get out my car to pump gas, "oh I forgot to buy gum at the store... no worries there's a street vendor knocking on my window selling gum," traffic lights... what's that? Street signs? Huh?, beautiful women EVERYWHERE, Christmas and New Year's in The Philippines, etc.

Hate

1. NAIA Airport. First thing a tourist sees when they arrive in The Philippines. Embarrassment. If you going to charge a terminal fee and a security fee, I would expect a nicer building. Also, I really hate how they only accept cash to pay for the terminal and security fee. I've seen so many foreign tourists begging other people for money to cover the fees because they don't accept debit/credit cards and they don't have anymore pesos in their pcoket. I mean really... how hard is it to accept card payments.

There are a lot of corrupt people there. When you feel yo are a little harassed, the magic line is "Where is your supervisor?"

It's because a lot of people do not have credit card. The business will still run even if you do not have credit card machine. Go to the mall, that's for sure they accept credit card. But some don't still. One of the many surprises to me is SBARRO.I love SBARRO but they do not accept credit card too.

2. Running errands... Online bill pay? Mail a check to pay for your bills? LMAO! Paying your bills or going to the bank takes you all day long.

I got an online account with at least 3 banks but not all of my utilities are tied up to them. IN any bank, there's always at least one bill that will be left behind. SO just pay them over the counter all at once.

3. What's up with all the waiting in line? I never waited in line in my entire life as much as I did in The Philippines. Wait in line hours at the bank, LTO, NBI, ordering food at Jollibee, waiting in traffic to move 1 km an hour.

it depends on the management of the establishment. LTO- you can go to malls, NBI same thing- they have offices in malls that got shorter lines.

4. I thought things were cheaper in The Philippines? Electric bill is higher, food bill is higher, cable bill is higher, etc. Minimum wage in The Philippines is 200/300 pesos per day? So why does one family size Pizza Hut pizza cost like 600 plus pesos? It takes the average guy 2-3 days just to buy a pizza. That is just wrong.

Minimum wage in Manila is 389-426. Provinces are lower. Food is higher for you because you feed other people aside from your fiancee. It is also advisable not to bring you in a filthy market so better get it in the air-conditioned market. Edited November 12, 2011 by teapotgurl1983