to those of us in ap

[james&nicole 2]

Well its been semi documented I hit a little rough patch recently. These things come and go. Run in cycles, ain't no thing..kinda like the Saigon rains, you see em comin in, as they pass thru you get wet... real wet sometimes...the sun comes out and you move on. It's all part of the process. But you know what? When there's someone selling ponchos on every block the rain ain't such a big deal. I swear that whole city is one continuous drive thru window. You could get on your moto monday morning and not get off till you needed gas.

I realize my maudlin ramblings could be perceived as pretentious drivel by some. But thats not why I'm here. I'm here to help. I'm hoping by sharing my situation it could help someone else. We are all in this together. I believe in you. Sounds stupid I know, but I stand by my word. I'm going to be honest with you...this ain't my first picnic, nor my first time on the love go round. I've been working without a net for a long long time. I've seen things I can't unsee, done things I can't undo. Baggage? Mine's pretty heavy, I'll carry it myself. That being said, its ok to be vulnerable, life doesn't exist in a vacuum. If it gets to be too much, reach out. Ain't no whiners here, we all doin' what we need to do. Strong, Resilient, Focused.

Someday I hope to look back on these times and smile. It's called Visajourney for a reason. It's not Visadestination. Like how they don't call it catching, they call it fishing. By sharing the journey we can lighten the load.

I'm one of they lucky ones. Truly blessed. I found the woman I've been looking for my whole life. Well maybe more like since I was 14 or so. Let's face it there was a time when building model cars in my room was the ultimate. "when I was a child, I spoke as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child, but when I became man I put away childish things."

I have a great relationship with an awesome friend, a lifetime companion, we are truly hai trong mot. I couldn't ask for more. I'm only waiting a short time. There are military families separated as we speak. Nobody is shooting at me...I've been at the consulate and heard people pleading their case...one woman had been trying to get her husband a visa for six years. Another woman I know personally waited ten years to get admitted to the US. Ten years...and that is the given time with no complications. I am so fortunate just to have found her.

I see the difficulty in our long distance relationships. Hell, there was a time I wouldn't even date anyone from a different town, much less a different country. And now I can't wait to jam myself into a toothpaste tube going 600 miles per hour in -60 degree weather with 300 strangers for fourteen hours. I mean for gods sake, I'm going so far, a day....a whole day....just disappears....poof...its gone. That some kind of time travel isn't it? Some sci-fi sh!t right? I can't figure that out.

I'm going to file this now but ill be back in a minute to finish...this will probably be merged with what's to follow. I don't have a computer and even though this smartphone is pretty cool I don't trust it.

[sherryandyashpal 7]

wow! this was a very inspiring post and you really help to put a lot of things in perspective! when you have waited so long to find the right one and you now have to wait to be with them, the waiting is much more bearable because its inevitable you will be with the one you love, even if it take longer and has some complications, thanks for this post, you gave us some things to consider!!!

Sherry

[james&nicole 2]

Ok...pressing forward....AP....we can do this. It's going to take little victories, small miracles and patience, but we got this. In my experience relationships tend to take the path of least resistance. Us VJ folks ignored that memo. But you know what? We have a little special mojo workin' (for lack of a better term). Don't get me wrong.....it ain't all going to work out for all of us. But by god its not for lack of trying. It's been said you miss 100% of the shots you don't take. Well I'm takin' mine and I know if you are here on VJ with me you're takin' yours. No regrets. When I draw my last breath sure as hell don't want to be kickin' myself in the a$$ for the things I didn't do, the choices I didn't make. It won't happen overnight, but when its bottom 9, two outs, nobody on and your down by a few, you don't get it back with one swing. You get back in it by clawing and scratching 90 feet at a time. Thats AP.

Resilience and patience. Determination and faith. It's very frustrating to have our fate in someone else's hands, the open ended waiting, the lack of response. I remember the early times. When I first knew I was going to do this, I went to see some immigration attorneys, the filing period, the time frame for the paperwork, the wait, it was overwhelming. I didn't think I could wait one more day, much less a week.or a month even! I was so naive to the immigration process. But at least there was a date, a time for resolution. AP strips that from us. I've been in AP for a long time now. It doesn't really get any better but it does seem to get more tolerable (if that makes sense....affairs of the heart rarely make sense, but hey we gotta frame it somehow). At least now I don't have that feeling of an invisible hand clutching my throat, the tightness in my chest, the trapped feeling any more. As our relationship, matured and mellowed, we grew as a couple, resolved,committed and renewed. We may not be together physically but we are united just the same. We laugh together, cry together, love together connected by the tiniest of electrons. It is a lifeline for our love. Twice a day, religiously, with a juxtaposed morning and night we laugh love and cry. It's not much but its everything to us.

We in the VJ family are a special group...we took the hard road...even under the best of circumstances a marriage can be hard to maintain (ooh boy do I know that.....). But this is a whole new level. There is doubt from our friends and loved ones...sideways looks from relatives...talk of us being used, green cards, money, etc. Once, in talking to a friend I mentioned my impending marriage, his response was "she's going to steal your sh!t". First thing out of his mouth, not congratulations, not I'm happy for you, just negative bs. These little negatives add can add up but they don't need to stop us. It's a a long row to hoe, but we can get it done.

Let us cherish these moments we we have with our beloved, we know the are no guarantees, no sure things, but let us not be afraid to love, laugh and cry together for in the end the only moment we truly have is now.

[dtc 1]

wow this guy sure can write your writing skill will put my esl teachers to shame.

tb need to be treated before they can give her the visa and turn her loose in the usa ,it is for the common good, or else she will infect a whole bunch of people .i know the waiting game in ap kill yet if you wait long enough you two will live a happy life together. back in 2009 me and my wife got married in vietnam and it took me 2 years before she get the visa and come to the us , now she is pregnant and ill be a father soon. as you can see a bit of waiting actually product a stronger relation ship in the end.

what you can do is move to vietnam and stay there with her for a while if you can not put up with being apart from her. back in 2010 i got fire from my job so i went back to vietnam and spend a few months with my wife while we wait for the visa interview day , those are some of the best months of my life .

[dtc 1]

wow this guy sure can write your writing skill will put my esl teachers to shame.

.errr... i mean to say your writing skill will put my esl teachers writing skill to shame

[AKSinghSingh79 143]

In my experience relationships tend to take the path of least resistance. Us VJ folks ignored that memo. But you know what? We have a little special mojo workin' (for lack of a better term).

Pure poetry, and so true! It's hard to convince the average joe why we did indeed choose to take that path, you know, the long twisted, overgrown one when that other paved, straight tamed path looks so easy. No way man! I will fight through the jungle if I have to, as long as he's on the other side

[james&nicole 2]

Pure poetry, and so true! It's hard to convince the average joe why we did indeed choose to take that path, you know, the long twisted, overgrown one when that other paved, straight tamed path looks so easy. No way man! I will fight through the jungle if I have to, as long as he's on the other side

Damn straight we will. Anybody seen my matchete? I'll use my bare hands if necessary. Ooh.. and some bug spray.

[Mozzer1972 7]

Well said.