BEST WAY TO TEACH MY FILIPINA TO BUDGET

[Gizzy 0]

WONDERING HOW TO MAKE MY FILIPINA ABOUT BUDGETING....SHE SEEMS TO HV NO IDEA OF WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE MONEY AN BE ABLE TO SAVE OR BUDGET... SOMETIMES I THINK SHE THINKS MONEY JUST FALLS FROM TREES HERE... BELIEVE ME,,I NOT THE BEST WITH MONEY BUT I KNOW WHAT AN WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE PAID... IF I ASK HER WHERE THE MONEY WENT,,MOST THE TIME SHE GETS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HER WITH MONEY SHE SAYS... THANKS FOR ANY IDEAS....GREG

[David-and-Mae 15]

I was working way back when my then fiance (now husband) and I were in the process of doing K1. Since I was the breadwinner in the family, I never really had enough money for myself -- just getting by, but very hardly. When my then fiance offered to help me financially, I opened a bank account and put there whatever money he gave me. I got myself a log book of credits versus debits, so that at the end of the month, I can see where the money went. My then fiance never asked for what I did with the money, but when we visited me again for the second time, I showed him my log book. He was truly impressed and amazed of my system. He also found out how frugal I was. Now, when I got here, it took awhile for him to hand over the budgeting to me, only because there were so much to learn. Then when he thought I was ready to take over, he just let me do all the paying bills, banking, etc... It's never hard to budget whatever money you got if you list things and prioritize. Bills are paid as soon as we got the income, then live on whatever's left in the bank. We got all of our bills automatically deducted first week of every month. That way we don't miss any due dates.

Your fiancee needs to learn how to handle money wisely. When she gets here in the states, she will then realize that money, was in fact, hard to earn.

[Impatient Cupcake 10]

i sense a red flag. especially when someone uses the "you dont trust me" line aka guilt trip. i really hope im wrong though.

[Harsh_77 716]

You can use some free tools that are available online where you can record your every expense and at end of month, some of these tools have good charting capability which can give you good visual where you spent the money.

The only thing is both of you will have to enter your expense in it, if you just ask her to enter her expense and not your expense then your trust issue will come back in game.

I think visual at the end of month should help both of you to see where you guys spent most and where you can control.

here are couple tools, Mint.com, Buxffer.com

[paul_kay 31]

If she's in the Philippines, send only enough to cover what is needed to be paid. Have her list down all her expenses and more importantly, tell her how hard you worked for the money you are giving her.

[walls1010 3]

Ask her to find a job, maybe this way she will find out how hard to earn money. Show to her all the bills you're paying and remind her that you both need an "emergency money" in the bank just in case something happen (God forbid). Get a notebook and list all your expenses and bills payment , she may not know how to budget but you can start and teach her how.

[David-and-Mae 15]

Just thinking about how my husband almost lost his life in line of duty one time too many was enough for me to know how to spend wisely and carefully.

Edited August 1, 2011 by David-and-Mae

[FastViper 5]

I pay my fiancee so she does not work and we chat 8 hours a day while we wait for the K-1. She spends on average $10 a day in Thailand and emails me a daily record. She also lives with her aunt, so no rent, but I pay the electric for thhe house and internet. I gave her a BIG credit card and she charged $0.00 on it and she knows I make a few bucks and we have enough for about anything in life we would ever want.

[RK_and_Inday 10]

Greg/Gizzy--Yes, we all can always learn more about budgeting. I am still learning, too, but between an engaged couple, so many relationship situations--including financial handling--seems to be a matter of mutual learning, mutual trust, and clear communication.

I agree with walls1010 that an important first step is for you to communicate clearly to your fiance your personal income/outgo--not only to show your expenses but also as an example of how you manage your own personal budget. [Also, you might convert the expense amounts to pesos for clarity.] And, yes, don't forget to always try to set a percentage aside for those unexpected items, potential emergencies.

Second, instead of asking what happened after she has spent money which you have freey given, instead perhaps do the following: you and her, together,--before you send money--agree on a budget where a specific amount of what you will send is to be spent on specifically designated items/categories. You can even designate a certain portion to be a "freedom fund"; a portion of the budget which is not allocated to specific items but designated for her to use in whatever way she wants, no questions asked. Yes, she will later have to tell you if the amount(s) in the other categories were too much or too little but this is not a question of trust but rather realistically meeting needs and wants as best one can. Try this approach for a couple months and see how it works--you may have to adjust categories or amounts somewhat but at least you will be developing mutual trust, communication, and hopefully will be a learning experience.

I suspect your fiance is a very generous person, perhaps wanting to care for her friends, immediate family and extended family in action, time, and perhaps monetarily. If you set the combined monetary limits and flexibility in the approach suggested above this allows your fiance to still be generous but work within the limits of realistic budgeting. Plus, gives you both a chance to practice mutual money handling skills before your marriage. The above suggested approach is based on personal experience. No, the approach did not personally work out 100% perfectly, especially at first but seemed to work out pretty well after awhile. I am not even saying this will work for you and your fiance. I am just presenting a possible idea for you to consider. You and your fiance will have to discover what works best for the both of you. I sincerely hope that others here have and will share additional ideas that might work for you and Madelyn but most of all, sincerely, wish you the best in all things as a couple, your relationship, and your life together.

--RK

[Gizzy 0]

THANK U ALL FOR ADVICE...MUCH NEED...SHE AT HER SECOND DAY OF MEDICAL RT NOW AND NEXT WEEK INTERVIEW...I BELIEVE I KNOW WHAT NEEDS TO BE DONE NOW...THANKS AGAIN TO EVERYONE...

[southcalhog 43]

Ask her to find a job, maybe this way she will find out how hard to earn money. Show to her all the bills you're paying and remind her that you both need an "emergency money" in the bank just in case something happen (God forbid). Get a notebook and list all your expenses and bills payment , she may not know how to budget but you can start and teach her how.

Walls where you at in San berdoo????

[Messybrownhair 251]

Show her your salary and then your list of bills so she sees where the money goes and why its important to be thrifty. Hopefully she will understand

[SuperDuper! 230]

Yes, you need her to be involved with the monthly budget. So she sees what you pull in every month, and then list ALL the bills each month. Maybe collect all the monthly receipts and send them to her to tally and add up together.

When she sees all the expenses versus your income, then it will register in her brain what it means to live within a budget, that includes monthly savings for the future and retirement.

Good luck.

[happyblessedme 12]

WONDERING HOW TO MAKE MY FILIPINA ABOUT BUDGETING....SHE SEEMS TO HV NO IDEA OF WHAT IT TAKES TO MAKE MONEY AN BE ABLE TO SAVE OR BUDGET... SOMETIMES I THINK SHE THINKS MONEY JUST FALLS FROM TREES HERE... BELIEVE ME,,I NOT THE BEST WITH MONEY BUT I KNOW WHAT AN WHEN THINGS NEED TO BE PAID... IF I ASK HER WHERE THE MONEY WENT,,MOST THE TIME SHE GETS MAD BECAUSE I DONT TRUST HER WITH MONEY SHE SAYS... THANKS FOR ANY IDEAS....GREG

Well that is the most common mistakes we filipinas NOT ALL think especially when we are still in our country. We think money in america just grow on trees...lol( that's what i thought at first too).

My fiancee who is my husband now sends me and my family every month but whatever he sends me every single month may it be 100 or 1000.. is considered mine then he would and never asked me how i spent the money but i have to say it's all budgeted to last for a month.

When i got here and got a job of my own i know how to budget and prioritize things. BILLS first. Needs first before wants.

[walls1010 3]

Walls where you at in San berdoo????

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