feels like the end before the beginning...

[JoyDee 21]

Having said that, too much knowledge is still a disadvantage of open internet forums. In an ideal future, we would have a system where you could access all the information and discussion you needed, but were not needlessly exposed to horror stories until after you had completed the immigration journey. So, you could say "I have never even touched anything remotely criminal" and you would then never have to read about denials and waivers relating to criminal stuff. Personally, I could deal with everything immigration related in a rational and calm manner but visiting the US whilst waiting for my visa caused me many sleepness nights. I would've liked to have known what evidence to carry with me when flying, and also seen the statistics of other people's experience visiting for various periods of time, but not had to read about anything else.

I absolutely know more about defrauding the system after visiting this site, and how seemingly benign activities can be interpreted as fraudulent. I am also significantly more terrified than I was previously, and I can assure you, that's not useful.

[pushbrk 12,570]

I absolutely know more about defrauding the system after visiting this site, and how seemingly benign activities can be interpreted as fraudulent. I am also significantly more terrified than I was previously, and I can assure you, that's not useful.

The information is useful but the emotional reaction is not. How you react is up to you. That you have accurate information is critical.

Edited December 27, 2010 by pushbrk

[LoriT 16]

The first part of my comment was of more importance in that sense: that VJ is a huge help to people. I would never advocate ignorance as the better course of action. I was merely saying that there are always disadvantages to knowledge, even when the advantages greatly outweigh them and it is obvious that knowing is better. Some people find it easier to be "logical, rational, and calm" than others. For some people, once they have educated themselves and done all they need to do, they then need to focus on something else. Sometimes people need to be alerted to the possible negative outcomes, and other times they need unequivocal encouragement. My comment was aimed only at the OP, who was educated and had also been alerted to possible issues/solutions by previous posters.

Having said that, too much knowledge is still a disadvantage of open internet forums. In an ideal future, we would have a system where you could access all the information and discussion you needed, but were not needlessly exposed to horror stories until after you had completed the immigration journey. So, you could say "I have never even touched anything remotely criminal" and you would then never have to read about denials and waivers relating to criminal stuff. Personally, I could deal with everything immigration related in a rational and calm manner but visiting the US whilst waiting for my visa caused me many sleepness nights. I would've liked to have known what evidence to carry with me when flying, and also seen the statistics of other people's experience visiting for various periods of time, but not had to read about anything else.

Thank you for your positive comment. I take every piece of advice and digest it all. But when someone throws an uneducated response like telling me that because Colin and I have only spent 2 weeks together on one visit we don't qualify. I suggest people do a bit of research before they decide to throw out a comment that could add even more stress to an already extremely stressful situation.

[pushbrk 12,570]

Thank you for your positive comment. I take every piece of advice and digest it all. But when someone throws an uneducated response like telling me that because Colin and I have only spent 2 weeks together on one visit we don't qualify. I suggest people do a bit of research before they decide to throw out a comment that could add even more stress to an already extremely stressful situation.

It might not be enough time together for some countries but for the UK, not such a big deal. We take the good with the bad here. It comes with the territory. The issue works both ways. Both some of those asking the questions and some answering them, don't realize how much difference the country makes in getting or giving useful advice.

[Rebecca Jo 1,962]

It might not be enough time together for some countries but for the UK, not such a big deal. We take the good with the bad here. It comes with the territory. The issue works both ways. Both some of those asking the questions and some answering them, don't realize how much difference the country makes in getting or giving useful advice.

Well, people really should look at the country of origin before they answer. Not doing so was a mistake I made when I was new here. It does sometimes frighten the person they are answering. I would hope no one answering a question hopes to make someone fearful.

The reason we need to know the country involved is because we have anecdotal evidence of what happens at the different consulates and what the CO's are looking for. We know one big thing they are looking for is "cultural norms" for a relationship.

I am not so sure that I would go so far as saying one visit is not a big deal for the UK. I don't feel like I know enough about how long ago Lori and Colin spent that two weeks together. It might not be a "deal breaker" as you say; conversely I am certainly not going to say it's a kiss of death that they've begin together only once. I do though specifically remember our CO spotting me come into his field of vision during the interview, and saying "Ah I see she is here so I'm not going to ask you when the last time was you were together". Since that time 6 years ago, I have read of the same question being posed to other UK visa applicants. Not "when did you meet" but "when was the last time you saw each other". I can only surmise this question comes up because of the ease of travel between the UK and the US. And because anecdotally UK/US couples usually take advantage of that freedom and visit as often as possible. Therefore - a cultural norm.

I would really like to see Lori attend Colin's interview. I say that partly based on our experience. My own affidavit of support was weak and I felt strongly about being there in case there were any questions. There were absolutely none. I can't say for certain if my presence made a difference, because I know the UK consulate is not as "picky" about the affidavit as other consulates, and I know that I qualified as a sponsor, though marginally, with child support included. I do believe they put more weight on the legitimacy of the relationship and do not look at "holes" in the I134 as an excuse to issue a denial.

[LoriT 16]

Well, people really should look at the country of origin before they answer. Not doing so was a mistake I made when I was new here. It does sometimes frighten the person they are answering. I would hope no one answering a question hopes to make someone fearful.

The reason we need to know the country involved is because we have anecdotal evidence of what happens at the different consulates and what the CO's are looking for. We know one big thing they are looking for is "cultural norms" for a relationship.

I am not so sure that I would go so far as saying one visit is not a big deal for the UK. I don't feel like I know enough about how long ago Lori and Colin spent that two weeks together. It might not be a "deal breaker" as you say; conversely I am certainly not going to say it's a kiss of death that they've begin together only once. I do though specifically remember our CO spotting me come into his field of vision during the interview, and saying "Ah I see she is here so I'm not going to ask you when the last time was you were together". Since that time 6 years ago, I have read of the same question being posed to other UK visa applicants. Not "when did you meet" but "when was the last time you saw each other". I can only surmise this question comes up because of the ease of travel between the UK and the US. And because anecdotally UK/US couples usually take advantage of that freedom and visit as often as possible. Therefore - a cultural norm.

I would really like to see Lori attend Colin's interview. I say that partly based on our experience. My own affidavit of support was weak and I felt strongly about being there in case there were any questions. There were absolutely none. I can't say for certain if my presence made a difference, because I know the UK consulate is not as "picky" about the affidavit as other consulates, and I know that I qualified as a sponsor, though marginally, with child support included. I do believe they put more weight on the legitimacy of the relationship and do not look at "holes" in the I134 as an excuse to issue a denial.

I would LOVE to attend the interview!!! Believe me, I would do anything in the world to get there. Financially, coming up with the $1000.00 plane ticket is a bit rough at the moment as I've had several unexpected major expenses lately. But I am saving every single penny and will do my very best to be there. Colin and I spent our 2 weeks together in September so I was only 3 months ago. I had planned on surprising him in February for his birthday but as I said, some stuff happened and I was unable to. I have a friend willing to loan me the money and I may take him up on that. I'm just the type of person who doesn't really like to borrow from people. But I do agree, being there would be wonderful and would help ease his worries as well. Thank you for your positive input, it is greatly appreciated