Put that in your Stimulus...

[thongd4me 69]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q.What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A.It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ?

A.From taxpayers.

Q.So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A.Only a smidgen of it.

Q.What is the purpose of this payment ?

A.The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a

high-definition TV set,thus stimulating the economy.

Q.But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A.Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy

by spending your stimulus check wisely:

*If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,

the money will go to China or Sri Lanka

*If you spend it on gasoline,

your money will go to the Arabs.

*If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ,

Taiwan or China ..

*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,

Honduras and Guatemala ..

*If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

*If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..

*If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go

to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1)Spending it at yard sales, or

2)Going to ball games, or

3)Spending it on prostitutes, or

4)Beer or

5)Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale

and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

[Gary and Alla 3,694]

Sometime this year, we taxpayers will again receive another 'Economic Stimulus' payment.

This is indeed a very exciting program, and I'll explain it by using a Q & A format:

Q.What is an 'Economic Stimulus' payment ?

A.It is money that the federal government will send to taxpayers.

Q.Where will the government get this money ?

A.From taxpayers.

Q.So the government is giving me back my own money ?

A.Only a smidgen of it.

Q.What is the purpose of this payment ?

A.The plan is for you to use the money to purchase a

high-definition TV set,thus stimulating the economy.

Q.But isn't that stimulating the economy of China ?

A.Shut up.

Below is some helpful advice on how to best help the U.S. economy

by spending your stimulus check wisely:

*If you spend the stimulus money at Wal-Mart,

the money will go to China or Sri Lanka

*If you spend it on gasoline,

your money will go to the Arabs.

*If you purchase a computer, it will go to India ,

Taiwan or China ..

*If you purchase fruit and vegetables, it will go to Mexico ,

Honduras and Guatemala ..

*If you buy an efficient car, it will go to Japan or Korea ..

*If you purchase useless stuff, it will go to Taiwan ..

*If you pay your credit cards off, or buy stock, it will go

to management bonuses and they will hide it offshore.

Instead, keep the money in America by:

1)Spending it at yard sales, or

2)Going to ball games, or

3)Spending it on prostitutes, or

4)Beer or

5)Tattoos.

(These are the only American businesses still operating in the U.S. )

Conclusion:

Go to a ball game with a tattooed prostitute that you met at a yard sale

and drink beer all day !

No need to thank me, I'm just glad I could be of help.

Also make sure the prostitute is a US citizen or legal alien, the game is baseball or football (NO Soccer!) the beer is not from Canada. The tattoo and yard sale are givens.