Family and Religion

[Calypso 464]

Is it important to raise kids with a religion? Can you teach children about God without having to include any religious context? How does it work in your own family now? How did your parents handle that matter when you were young?

N.B.

I am a cradle Catholic (term borrowed from Kuya Steven). My husband has no religion and he doesn't say anything against my faith nor does he stop me from going to church. In fact, he used to accompany me every Sunday for the Holy Mass since I was in Cebu (I served as a lector in the Cathedral) and even when I arrived in Santa Monica, CA. I am not interested in proselytizing either. We don't have a child yet.

[^_^ 5,021]

Ooh, a multipart essay question. My favorite!

Is it important to raise kids with a religion?

IMO - No, but it is important to raise them with culture and a sense of tradition. Most, but not all, cultures and sub-cultures are intertwined with religious tradition.

Can you teach children about God without having to include any religious context?

Of course you can. You can teach your child anything you want. But will it hold once they are "out there" and confronted with people who believe differently, perhaps very differently? I suppose this is one reason people try to live around their own 'kind', however they define that. New age yuppies tend to live together, as do orthodox Jews and Muslims.

How does it work in your own family now?

Religion and God are non-issues in my family right now, where I define my family as my wife and I. However, if I take the more traditional Hindu definition of family then religion is anywhere from important to critical. Depending on who we're talking about, it's either a ceremonial/ritual thing that is intermittently relevant to their lives or it is the driver of all decisions.

How did your parents handle that matter when you were young?

My parents weren't very religious when I was growing up. They got more religious later, when I was an adult by which time it was too late

[one...two...tree 2,762]

IMO, a religion is much much more than simply a set of beliefs. It is building and being part of a larger community, which can have a tremendously positive influence on a child's development. Parents can't be everything to their children, no matter how involved they are. Children need to be surrounded by positive outside influences and a community based church can help provide that. Involvement is key.

Edited October 22, 2010 by El Buscador

[chri'stina 190]

I will be the first fundamentalist to answer.

It's only important to raise kids with a religion if the parents think so. That's going to be answered yes, no, or maybe depending on who answers it. I'll answer that it's important to me to raise my child in my faith.

I think people can teach about God without religious context but your child will grow up and wonder where that fits into the religions of the world I am sure.

In my family our faith is central to our way of life, with me and my husband both being Christians. We are devout not in ceremony or ritual but in other aspects. We will teach Kavi what we believe and try to practice what we preach, and he will have to decide for himself when he is old enough.

I was raised in a Christian home. My dad was/is a pastor so I was always involved in church when young. Yet I wasn't forced to do anything. I enjoyed it a lot.

[Gemmie 142]

I think it's important to inform your children about things without pushing your beliefs onto them. I'm not a fan of religious schools, I was shocked when I came to the US and saw children as young as five being told to pray to Jesus for their sins and givings. To me, it's your job as a parent to teach your children what is right and wrong, and how to say sorry and thanks. Not because of religious beliefs, but because it's the right thing to do.

My husband and I were both raised as Christians but now we're not religious. And I don't mean we just don't practice the religion, we don't believe in it anymore. I guess you could call us Atheists, although we hate the label. That doesn't mean our children won't be exposed to religion. I want to teach them from childhood about all kinds of religions and what people believe, and they can make up their own minds.

[chri'stina 190]

Our son will also have Hinduism in his life from my inlaws in India. There is going to be mixed messages within the family which stresses me out a little. But there isn't anything I can do about it, and I won't force anything.

[^_^ 5,021]

Our son will also have Hinduism in his life from my inlaws in India. There is going to be mixed messages within the family which stresses me out a little. But there isn't anything I can do about it, and I won't force anything.

Don't worry, Hinduism is very difficult to believe unless someone is 'exposed' to it 24/7 and from a very young age.

Edited October 22, 2010 by \

[chri'stina 190]

Don't worry, Hinduism is very difficult to believe unless someone is 'exposed' to it 24/7 and from a very young age.

I guess I don't so much worry about him believing it, but they can be pushy. They already ask about certain ritiuals for Kavi that they should know we aren't going to do...but they don't get it nor seem to want to.

Edited October 22, 2010 by chri'stina

[^_^ 5,021]

I guess I don't so much worry about him believing it, but they can be pushy. They already ask about certain ritiuals for Kavi that they should know we aren't going to do...but they don't get it or seem to want to.

Yeah you probably won't understand but there is this real fear in the orthodox-types out in India that if one doesn't do every puja and every ritual just right and at the right time, something terrible is going to happen.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

I think it's important to inform your children about things without pushing your beliefs onto them. I'm not a fan of religious schools, I was shocked when I came to the US and saw children as young as five being told to pray to Jesus for their sins and givings.

I don't think beliefs are as impressionistic on young children as experiences. Just listen to the countless numbers of comedians who talk about going to Catholic School. It was the negative experiences (or sometimes positive) that left a lasting impression over any doctrine or beliefs. Children need to be involved and feel they are part of a larger community beyond their immediate family and a community based church, IMO, is the best source for that.

[^_^ 5,021]

I don't think beliefs are as impressionistic on young children as experiences. Just listen to the countless numbers of comedians who talk about going to Catholic School. It was the negative experiences (or sometimes positive) that left a lasting impression over any doctrine or beliefs. Children need to be involved and feel they are part of a larger community beyond their immediate family and a community based church, IMO, is the best source for that.

Yeah, the 'turning point' for me (in hindsight) was when a Hindu temple officials tried to steal my stuff. They stole mine and my uncles and his sons stuff. I was 15 or 16 at the time and made a big deal of it. I got my stuff back, got my cousins stuff back too but since their dad was a wimp who refused to come help me I 'forgot' to get his.

[one...two...tree 2,762]

Yeah, the 'turning point' for me (in hindsight) was when a Hindu temple officials tried to steal my stuff. They stole mine and my uncles and his sons stuff. I was 15 or 16 at the time and made a big deal of it. I got my stuff back, got my cousins stuff back too but since their dad was a wimp who refused to come help me I 'forgot' to get his.

Maybe they just wanted to redistribute your wealth?

[chri'stina 190]

Yeah you probably won't understand but there is this real fear in the orthodox-types out in India that if one doesn't do every puja and every ritual just right and at the right time, something terrible is going to happen.

I do understand that they might believe that...so yeah it's definitely a little conflict since I am not willing to ignore my own beliefs to make them happy. If there wasn't thousands of miles between us at the moment, I have no idea what would be going on with these issues (between inlaws and us).

Edited October 22, 2010 by chri'stina

[mawilson 2,133]

Yeah you probably won't understand but there is this real fear in the orthodox-types out in India that if one doesn't do every puja and every ritual just right and at the right time, something terrible is going to happen.

Terrible things do happen all the time. How do you know it's not because some orthodox type in India screwed up a puja?

[chri'stina 190]

Terrible things do happen all the time. How do you know it's not because some orthodox type in India screwed up a puja?

So when are you going to become a Christian?