Conditional Resident and Divorce...

[Ohio_hunter 0]

My USC spouse and I were married early this year (09) and everything was going great and we loved each other more than ever.

I was granted CR1 late May this year. We are both in the early 20s.

I hide the fact that I wasn't doing well in school from her because I was worried I was going to lose her if she knows the truth...I made a poor judgment call that I thought was right at the time. And that is the only thing I hide from her, I have never cheated, violated the laws, etc...

Anyhow, the roof caved in and the truth came out (my mother-in-law used her job to dig into my past) and now she wanted a divorce. She is shielded by her parents from talking to me and have told me repeatedly that it is over.

I have tried in the past month trying to talk to her and offer to meet with a counselor, mediator, and is willing to openly talk about what does it meant to both of us. However, she seems to have no interest in the continuance of our relationship...

I am devastated and I cannot eat, sleep, or do anything besides thinking about her - I want to be a man but it's just I love her so much that I can't seems to be able to move on. My families, priest, and close friends all told me the same thing: "if she cannot stood up for you and caved into her parents, this is bound to happen anyway, she doesn't deserve you" or "marriage is hard if she doesn't want to work it out, it won't work anyway"...but I just want to save our marriage, I just want to make everything right again. Or that she is acting like we are just dating in high school... Everyone wants me to be mad at her but I can't

I want her to be happy, and I want to take the responsibility of my mistake by working it out and follow through my commitment to her...but she just kept shutting me down.

She is now saying that they(her parents and her) have met with an immigration attorney and threating me with the removal preceding from USCIS if I don't get a dissolution - but I do not agree with our separation and frankly, I really don't care if I get to stay or not if I cannot spend the rest of my life with her. It hurt so much to know that she has already met with a lawyer...I thought I knew her and I can't even begin to count how many times she have told me in the last 2.5 years that she would never leave me...

I have couple questions as to the situation

(1) If we do get a divorce, what do I do with my CR? Do I just leave the country or I should stay to file a waiver?

(2) The conditional PR card is valid through may of 2011, do I file the waiver then?

(3)Any suggestions as to what should I do with my situation please do share...

If filing a waiver would help me to stay and fight to keep our marriage, I am more than willing to stay. I believe that she will realized one day that she is manipulated by her mother - the mother that doesn't even allow her to read Cosmo the magazine.

[youtube 0]

sorry to hear your story

#3 just do your best. Forcing someone to love you is not love. If you can't reconcile, time to move on. If you dwell on the past you won't have a future.

good luck

[candelari 0]

From immigration point: You need to find a lawyer and start working on divorce, ROC and more. Your marriage is based on good faith and you can prove that. As long as you have that your have a pretty good case. Rest is into USCIS hands so a good lawyer will help.

From emotional point; Start living your life as she will never return. If she returns accept it as a pleasant suprise, if not it wasn't meant to be. Believe me as soon as start your life truly (start making plans without her and having a life) things will chance dramatically....

I wish you the best!

Ebru

[Brother Hesekiel 2,235]

Ohio Hunter,

how old are you exactly and where are you from?

From the vibes I'm receiving, your wife was too young to get married. Emotionally she's not an adult yet. People often disagree with me, but I believe marrying under the age of 25 in our western society bears an overproportional risk of failure.

I'm saying that for one reason that is related to your problem: Salvaging your marriage will be very difficult as long as the little girl is still under mommy's and daddy's umbrella.

Now to your questions.

(1) If we do get a divorce, what do I do with my CR? Do I just leave the country or I should stay to file a waiver?

(2) The conditional PR card is valid through may of 2011, do I file the waiver then?

(3)Any suggestions as to what should I do with my situation please do share...

If you get a divorce, and once your divorce is final, and assuming you want to continue being a permanent resident of the US, you do not leave the country. Instead you file for Removal of Conditions (ROC) singularly immediately after having the divorce decree at hand. The fact that your marriage is so young will make it a bit more difficult for you to submit sufficient evidence that you entered the marriage in good faith, but it's doable. What you need to do NOW is gather such evidence, basically everything that shows that you and your wife had a life together where you shared house and finances.

Best of luck to you.

Edited October 23, 2009 by Just Bob