Family Barriers

[rwenstrom 0]

I know most of the peoople here are looking for information, but I'm assuming many of you have been through some family barriers in the midst of getting married.

I just really could use some support right now through everything that has been going on with the VISA process, wedding plans, work, etc. without the person that I love, I think we all know that is so stressful in itself. Then comes the family's opinions & friends that have never met your fiance, who just don't know how to handle the situation. I feel like sometime I fight for our relationship more than live it.

Right now my family is asking that we move the wedding back until June 2011, because they want us to experience more of life together & of course they want time to get to know him more. It's a legimate concern, but on Danny's part he has been doing everything he possible could do to try & form relationships with my family through webcams, emails, phone calls. His english isn't fluent but over & over he tries to talk with them & they finally decided to come down with me in March to meet him & his family face to face.

I understand that time will always tell & bring more security to the relationship or more confirmation, but Danny & I already have enought confirmation & security about getting married & for once I want to do something that is truly from my heart, but my family's opinions definitely do affect me. I want nothing more than for my parents & sister to enjoy & participate in my wedding planning with a pure heart & pure excitement & I wish for nothing other than on the day of my wedding that there would be no doubts in anyone's mind & my father would be completely confident to hand me over to the man of my dreams.

I just don't know how to make my family feel secure if they haven't met him yet...any thoughts?

[frostysoftyeaton 6]

I know most of the peoople here are looking for information, but I'm assuming many of you have been through some family barriers in the midst of getting married.

I just really could use some support right now through everything that has been going on with the VISA process, wedding plans, work, etc. without the person that I love, I think we all know that is so stressful in itself. Then comes the family's opinions & friends that have never met your fiance, who just don't know how to handle the situation. I feel like sometime I fight for our relationship more than live it.

Right now my family is asking that we move the wedding back until June 2011, because they want us to experience more of life together & of course they want time to get to know him more. It's a legimate concern, but on Danny's part he has been doing everything he possible could do to try & form relationships with my family through webcams, emails, phone calls. His english isn't fluent but over & over he tries to talk with them & they finally decided to come down with me in March to meet him & his family face to face.

I understand that time will always tell & bring more security to the relationship or more confirmation, but Danny & I already have enought confirmation & security about getting married & for once I want to do something that is truly from my heart, but my family's opinions definitely do affect me. I want nothing more than for my parents & sister to enjoy & participate in my wedding planning with a pure heart & pure excitement & I wish for nothing other than on the day of my wedding that there would be no doubts in anyone's mind & my father would be completely confident to hand me over to the man of my dreams.

I just don't know how to make my family feel secure if they haven't met him yet...any thoughts?

Hi I know what you've been going through. I know it's tough but just think that it is you and Danny that is going to start a new life together and not your family. Their opinions are fine but it's your happiness and life together with the man you love. Good Luck

[Jonara 0]

I know most of the peoople here are looking for information, but I'm assuming many of you have been through some family barriers in the midst of getting married.

I just really could use some support right now through everything that has been going on with the VISA process, wedding plans, work, etc. without the person that I love, I think we all know that is so stressful in itself. Then comes the family's opinions & friends that have never met your fiance, who just don't know how to handle the situation. I feel like sometime I fight for our relationship more than live it.

Right now my family is asking that we move the wedding back until June 2011, because they want us to experience more of life together & of course they want time to get to know him more. It's a legimate concern, but on Danny's part he has been doing everything he possible could do to try & form relationships with my family through webcams, emails, phone calls. His english isn't fluent but over & over he tries to talk with them & they finally decided to come down with me in March to meet him & his family face to face.

I understand that time will always tell & bring more security to the relationship or more confirmation, but Danny & I already have enought confirmation & security about getting married & for once I want to do something that is truly from my heart, but my family's opinions definitely do affect me. I want nothing more than for my parents & sister to enjoy & participate in my wedding planning with a pure heart & pure excitement & I wish for nothing other than on the day of my wedding that there would be no doubts in anyone's mind & my father would be completely confident to hand me over to the man of my dreams.

I just don't know how to make my family feel secure if they haven't met him yet...any thoughts?

Sounds like you have a very tight clan so what each and everyone does affect the other. I think this now becomes a question of breaking that custom and how you will manage to detach emotionally. You can't control their views and emotions about certain things but you can for yourself. Great idea that you will introduce them to him and his family but be prepared for what comes after next. What if they still say push the wedding out? You have to be mentally prepared to be challenged again and figure out the right balance. I don't want to say ignore your family but take a stand and do what you really want. Their family of course has your best interest at heart but so have you.

Don't fight it. The universe has its way of aligning where things should be.

[Otto 83]

Not sure how old you guys are, I'll presume fairly young so your family feels they are looking out for your best interests.

My family (or both Karin's an mine) felt we were adults and knew what we were doing (which we are and do), so there was never an issue of anyone feeling uncomfortable.