divorce and pending case - complicated

[many_questions 0]

I currently reside in the US, while my husband and I are waiting for the i-130 and i-485 (adjusting from f-1) to be approved. Our interview should approximately be in October 2009. However, our marriage has been very rocky, since my husband started drinking again and started being emotionally abusive and even physically abusive once (I didn't go to police, so i don't have proof). The marriage is/was "real", so it was hard to give up on him, so I waited, and waited, and prayed and hoped that he would go back to the amazing man that I fell in love with and married. At times he would get better and things would be great, but other times he just wouldn't be here for me when I really needed him. For example, he left me at our rental house when my original F-1 work permit expired, and I was left without a job or a driver's license (waiting for i765 to be approved) while he went across country. He changed his phone number, and I haven't heard from him in 2 weeks.

On the other hand, my ex-boyfriend and my good friend helped me thru all of this and was there for me thru my marriage disaster, and I can't deny that sparks have come back. We've been having a very intense relationship and he proposed to me again (he proposed before, when we were dating 4 years ago, and now he proposed again). I'm trying to be honest with everyone, and I haven't cheated on my husband, even though I don't even know where he is or what he wants anymore (as I said, he changed his phone number 2 weeks ago and I haven't heard from him since). I am seriously considering divorce because no one deserves to be treated the way he has treated me,

So the questions I have are:

1) After I get a divorce, will my current i-130 and i-485 be canceled?

2) How long will I be allowed to stay in the states afterwards - 10 days? 30 days? (if you answered yes to 1st question)

The employment authorization card (that we filed for concurrently with i130 and i485) has just arrived and it's valid for a year. Will it be automatically canceled when I get a divorce? or cancel i130/486? or will the current employment card be valid for a year, still? (other words, can I stay while that is valid, even if i-130/485 cancelled?)

3) If I do say "yes" to my ex-boyfriend/best friend, he said that he would rather get married now than go back to my home country to get me later b/c he might not be given so much time off work and he doesn't want us to be apart for long. If I do say "yes", our families said they wouldn't mind a small family-only marriage, given the circumstances of the paperwork and my pain and needing space for healing. So... After I get a divorce, will I be eligible to marry my ex-boyfriend within the time frame I can stay in the states, and file for AOS? Or would I have to go back, and he would have to come to my home country to get me thru fiancee visa? or?

I hope some of it makes sense, I'm really sorry it's so complicated, and so many emotions and feelings are mixed in. I hate drama, but somehow I got in the middle of it. Please feel free to write your thoughts on how we should proceed with the paperwork...

Thanks again.

[NArocks 13]

If this can be moved to the effects of major change I think you will get more support there

[Ed+Cindy 1]

It doesn't seem to me like you can divorce and re-marry AND keep legal status in the US.

I think the time it will take to process a divorce plus waiting to get re-married will take longer than the short time you will be allowed to remain in the US once your original AOS is denied.

[thepizzadude 26]

It is very hard to give you realistic answers without information starting with what state you live in ... the laws for divorce vary by state in the US so it will have an impact on the amount of time you will need to get a divorce, and whether you will be able to find your husband to sign the papers will also play a role in the time frame.

"given the circumstances of the paperwork and my pain and needing space for healing"

How much time are you leaving for this? I would think you would want to slow down and sit back and gather you thoughts.

Good Luck

[Skyler 0]

If you married in good faith and are thinking of divorcing due to domestic abuse you should talk to an immigration lawyer about VAWA (violence against women act). You may be able to petition for your own status. Try 1-888-799-SAFE (7233) and they should be able to give you some referrals for your state. Email me if you have any questions because I have a some experience with this kind of thing. I know in my state there are some lawyers who do this kind of thing totally free and I have seen many people who have been abused get their green card this way.

[NArocks 13]

NO WHERE in her post does she ay anything about abuse. She knows the deal as it was posted and answered many time here This Thread

If you married in good faith and are thinking of divorcing due to domestic abuse you should talk to an immigration lawyer about VAWA (violence against women act). You may be able to petition for your own status. Try 1-888-799-SAFE (7233) and they should be able to give you some referrals for your state. Email me if you have any questions because I have a some experience with this kind of thing. I know in my state there are some lawyers who do this kind of thing totally free and I have seen many people who have been abused get their green card this way.

[Skyler 0]

Sorry I didn't realize there was another thread. However, she did say this:

"However, our marriage has been very rocky, since my husband started drinking again and started being emotionally abusive and even physically abusive once (I didn't go to police, so i don't have proof)."

If this is the case, you may very well indeed qualify to petition for yourself through VAWA. No one should judge you, just talk to a lawyer who knows about VAWA and see if you qualify. That should be your very first step. Call that number I posted above and don't do anything untill you have ruled this option out because IT IS DESIGNED FOR THIS EXACT SITUATION, HAVING TO LEAVE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE BEFORE YOU HAVE YOUR GREEN CARD. You may qualify, maybe not, but it is a good thing to talk to a lawyer about, and like I said there may be some who will do the papers for you for free with a non-profit.

Good luck!!

[many_questions 0]

Thank you very much for your concerns and suggestions.