Attitude Change to Live In The philippines

[sasha414 0]

i read your post, my fiancee is from ph. i was the one that hint to her that i would like to move to ph when i turn 50 or so. I think after 10 years here in us, saving a few thousand a year for some time we could live in ph very well. quality of life there is great! only downside to usc is there are not many jobs. so i figure take care of the money part and live life carefree in ph!

like that plan or not?

i have a lot of friends who have the same plan . and if you ask me, id say yes , its an excellent idea as long as both you and your wife are happy , in the end thats all that really matters.

[DARUMA07 25]

My wife has discussed this with me many times. She would like for us to move to the Philippines when I retire. I told her if it was feasible, then I would consider it. I would have to have the standard of living like I have here before I make the move. I don't want us to go there and take 3 steps back with our lives.

I don't think your wife or fiancee' is hiding anything from you, she is just hanging onto a dream that she has for you two....

Try discussing the possibility with her. Let her know there is alot to consider before anyone makes that move. Good luck to you!!!!!!

[chizkeyk 0]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

Talk to her, nobody else should know her better than you... Not us! But for the sake of argument, ask her why she wants to move back to her home country.

If she's from Mindanao you have to be careful. With so much terrorism/kidnapping going on... I don't know, for security reasons, I'd love to live and die in my adopted country - USA.

[adventure509 0]

Well Heck I am sure you'll get some interesting relpys to this one. But for the root of your guestion from what I get is that you were suprised by her thinking about moving and retiring in the Philippines and you feel that was left out of earlier duccessions and feel a little deceived. Of course I don't know how you feel or how it was brought up. But do try and remember english is a second langauge for her. As good as it may seem there is things said that are not understond by you or ment to be said by her the way it is either spoken or heard. You took a long journey to get together and must have love to have accomplished that. You ask if anyone her has had similar experiances. I would say close to all. Just from the couple of relpys I have read pretty much shows most of us men that fall in love with these beautifull ladys intend to do just that move to the philippines or at least spend alot of time there. So I don't beleive she ment to deceive you. Just my simple thoughts as others have also said. Communtication is key to any marrage. understanding what is said even more important.

You said you would or at lest thought about that yourself moving to the Philippines. I would think she must of know you have that interest. So talk and share your ideas. come up with the best plan to make you both happy and enjoy your great life together.

As for me. well if you move to the Philippine we may end up as neighbors. I also plan to retire there. Hey I love the US. spent 20 years in the military and would then and now belad to defend it. But I can live a happy carefree life with my future wife in the Philippines. could do so here too but what the heck. Like the site is named life is also a Journey and I enjoy adventures.

Good luck and work out this little missunderstanding

[MMW 2]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

I know my wife has plans for us to return to the philippines when we are retired, not to have me move to her country but finacially it is a smart move. The cost of living there is much lower than in the states and the dollar goes alot father. Maybe she is just planning ahead for your future and trying to discuss what is the best possible scenario for you. I was always aware that my wife had a desire to return to the PI at some point. And since i love her and her family very much, this is a logical thing for her to be planning for us.

I would suggest discussing it with your wife and make plans for that unless you are totally against living in the PI , it is the perfect place to retire to. Take the time now and find a nice piece of land to build a house and do it while you wait for the time to retire.

[Loolie 56]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

Talk to her, nobody else should know her better than you... Not us! But for the sake of argument, ask her why she wants to move back to her home country.

If she's from Mindanao you have to be careful. With so much terrorism/kidnapping going on... I don't know, for security reasons, I'd love to live and die in my adopted country - USA.

not all places in mindanao has terrorism/kidnapping...hehehehe...

[rheanick 42]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

You have to talk to your wife.

[andrew&evelyn 6]

We are going to move to PI to live there I'm the Pinay but that is my hubby wants. So whenever he go I will go And he is more happier there that here.

[DouglasFiel 53]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

I have been around the Filipino community for more then 25 years,,, I am not sure if anyone has addressed this or not,,, First you wife is definately missing her friends, family and the closeness of the Filipino society. This is to be expected. And she fantisizes the idea of living in the Philippines... In the future. But, reality for most mixed marriages,,, comes from the children. The thought then,, is when they are out of HighSchool... maybe, they can go to college in the PI... Then,,, if that fails,,, well when they are out on there own,,, then now you are 20+ years down the road, The USA is now mostly YOUR home,,, It is definately your childrens home, Now comes the grand children. Time to make your choice. Live in the Philippines,,, or be accessible to your children and grand-children. I recommend,, listen to what she is asking,,, cause,, as time goes by her vision of the future will most likely change to match new realities.

Regards!!!

[LonnieNCarmie 0]

My personal opinion is this your wife of course should know where you stand on the issue. I would love to buy a nice up scale condo in the Phils as my rertirement home now and pay it off with the american dollar then spend at least 4-6 months out of the year there when i retire of course I have another 30 yrs but its a pretty good investment now. Especially with the bad US economy.

[Steve and Nor 0]

Hi there,

Yes, I agree communication is important in any relationship, much more in a husband-wife relationship.

Being a Filipina, life would not be very easy living in a place you hardly know about, there are so much adjustments to make. Not just between the spouses but with the people that surround you as well.

Even if we know how to communicate in English, it still feels good to communicate in a native tongue. But because I love my husband I am willing to jump overboard and embrace the life that my husband is offering me.

My husband and I talked about living in the Philippines when we retire. We both agreed to it. There is nothing better than my husband wanting to live here. I know he will have to have some adjustments also, but It makes me happier knowing he considers living here. Knowing I will be living in a once very familiar place brings gladness in my heart.

Even now I am very much willing to just live here with my husband. But of course we need to work first and save up for the future.

I know that your wife is truthful to you. I guess, she is just praying that someday you will consider the idea of living here. Anyway,you also mentioned that you talked about it before.

Philippines might be full of craps but we love it nevertheless.

[Tahoma 2,291]

Have any of you experienced meeting a Filipina and falling in love with her and discussing her moving to your country and marrying you and then right about when the petition is approved or shortly after she gets to your country she starts hinting to you about moving to the Philippines when you retire? But before that it was all about her saying she had NO problems moving to your country and marrying you and having a happy loving relationsahip forever? Seems like having you move to the Phils was in her mind all along and she only was agreeing to come to your country for as short as a time as possible. I have nothing against about moving there and actually have thought about it prior to her mentioning it but it just seems as if that was her plan all along and she never was truthful to me about it.

I have been around the Filipino community for more then 25 years,,, I am not sure if anyone has addressed this or not,,, First you wife is definately missing her friends, family and the closeness of the Filipino society. This is to be expected. And she fantisizes the idea of living in the Philippines... In the future. But, reality for most mixed marriages,,, comes from the children. The thought then,, is when they are out of HighSchool... maybe, they can go to college in the PI... Then,,, if that fails,,, well when they are out on there own,,, then now you are 20+ years down the road, The USA is now mostly YOUR home,,, It is definately your childrens home, Now comes the grand children. Time to make your choice. Live in the Philippines,,, or be accessible to your children and grand-children. I recommend,, listen to what she is asking,,, cause,, as time goes by her vision of the future will most likely change to match new realities.

Regards!!!

Thank you for your thoughtful comment. It reminds me of a story that was passed down through my mother's Italian family.

Many of the Italians (and other Europeans) who immigrated to the U.S. during the past two centuries only planned to stay in the U.S. long enough to work and make their way in the world. They planned to go back to the country of their birth with enough money to retire comfortably. That was their plan.

However, the vast majority of them ended up staying in the U.S. because of the same issues which you mention. Their children are American, and don't want to live in a foreign country. The parents don't want to leave their children and their grandchildren. And besides, over the years, the immigrant has gotten used to life in America.

Yes, their dream changed in order to match the new realities. None of my family (on either side) ever returned to the old country.

~ Tahoma

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

Before we all JUMP on the poor man, for asking someone else opinion....he just seem to be genuinely surprised.

There is a period of time when moving to a new place/area called adjustment, adjustment to a new life, new world, new culture.

So don't be surprised if the other person in the beginning is talking about a world or culture that he/she more comfortable with.

As time progress, the issue may be irrelevant as get adjusted.... making friend ....accustomed to the new life...

i would still say to discuss it with his wife before even posting such as stuff...unless of course the wife said ..go ahead and post at vj and we'll see the people's opinion..i believe that there are stuff that u should discuss first at ur bedroom(and i mean discuss) and see really what ur wife is trying to tell u and also u can explain ur side to her and not talkin here(so to speak) behind the wife.grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...still its not my business anywas hehhehehe if u want to let every one know that u are complainin behind ur wife..aw shucks

For your information mis "know it all" I have discussed with my wife and I was just askingb a question here.

Maybe the wife is still missing her life in the Philippines. It's up to both of them where they want to settle. I don't think the issue is her not being truthful to him. Maybe (it's all maybe) the filipina is comparing life in the Philippines and here in the US. I don't see anything wrong here, she is just expressing what she feels. If she is thinking of retirement (I don't know her age) I think it's still a long time for her to take that into consideration. Things will still change as time goes and the issue should not affect their good relationship.

For me, it doesn't matter whether I will retire here in the US or in the Philippines. But since my husband will have a hard time adjusting there (because of the weather) I will stay where he is comfortable. My husband is my priority in life and of course my two kids (they like it here). Philippines will still be my native land and I will forever cherish my childhood life there.

i feel the same way luckymom, i always take my husbands needs into consideration.

to the OP: just talk to her about it and try to meet halfway. marriage is about compromise.

You hit the nail on the head.....mariage is about compromise and meeting halfway..thanks!!!

My wife has discussed this with me many times. She would like for us to move to the Philippines when I retire. I told her if it was feasible, then I would consider it. I would have to have the standard of living like I have here before I make the move. I don't want us to go there and take 3 steps back with our lives.

I don't think your wife or fiancee' is hiding anything from you, she is just hanging onto a dream that she has for you two....

Try discussing the possibility with her. Let her know there is alot to consider before anyone makes that move. Good luck to you!!!!!!

Thanks and I have already done what you recommended here and share the same feelings on this as you do.

[Joan >3 Bob 20]

Before we all JUMP on the poor man, for asking someone else opinion....he just seem to be genuinely surprised.

There is a period of time when moving to a new place/area called adjustment, adjustment to a new life, new world, new culture.

So don't be surprised if the other person in the beginning is talking about a world or culture that he/she more comfortable with.

As time progress, the issue may be irrelevant as get adjusted.... making friend ....accustomed to the new life...

Thank you for your kind consideration and understanding. What some of the others here that wish to attack me on my original post do not understand is during many chats emails for almost 2 years the subject was us getting married and living here, no mention of living in the Phils. Then right before the embassy interview the question pops up about do I want to live in the Phils. As I said previously, that thought had come into my mind prior to her asking but we have discussed this before my orginal post and I told her we will look into it when I retire and when we visit the Phils after het adjustment of status becomes final. I am not ruling it out but not agreeing at this time either and I would not lower my living standard to live there and would require to have a nice home as I have here. Like windows with screens and whole house air conditioning and warm water and a fuly functional bathroom and all.

[sasha414 0]

Before we all JUMP on the poor man, for asking someone else opinion....he just seem to be genuinely surprised.

There is a period of time when moving to a new place/area called adjustment, adjustment to a new life, new world, new culture.

So don't be surprised if the other person in the beginning is talking about a world or culture that he/she more comfortable with.

As time progress, the issue may be irrelevant as get adjusted.... making friend ....accustomed to the new life...

Thank you for your kind consideration and understanding. What some of the others here that wish to attack me on my original post do not understand is during many chats emails for almost 2 years the subject was us getting married and living here, no mention of living in the Phils. Then right before the embassy interview the question pops up about do I want to live in the Phils. As I said previously, that thought had come into my mind prior to her asking but we have discussed this before my orginal post and I told her we will look into it when I retire and when we visit the Phils after het adjustment of status becomes final. I am not ruling it out but not agreeing at this time either and I would not lower my living standard to live there and would require to have a nice home as I have here. Like windows with screens and whole house air conditioning and warm water and a fuly functional bathroom and all.

just give it time. your wife is new in america and she misses the phils, her family and her friends. after some time, she will find a job, meet new friends and start to adapt to life in the states then she wont feel so homesick. at the same time, due to the economic recession, you might consider moving to the phils years from now because the cost of living is cheaper here. who knows? so many things can happen in just a few years so just wait and see. my advice: take one day at a time. enjoy the present moment because eventually things will fall into place.