Married To A German :)

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

OK,

First of all....to all of the German thread people whoa re complaining.....just chill the frack out!

This thread was created for a somewhat different group of German/American couples. That being said, everyone is welcome be you from Germany or Kalamazoo.

Second, I will admit my statement covering the German thread was a bit harsh. I apologize.

Third, please lets not make this thread a flaming thread.

Fourth and final, My underlying point was to allow those of us who would like to contribute to do so in English. German, while a unique language, sadly is not understood by everyone with German influences in their lives. It is not necessary to keep it in "English" as it were, but it is preferred.

Lets see if that will calm all of the nerves.

[Aubrey 10]

I was wondering what the 'bash the German Thread' thing was all about. There's another thread a little further below here...same topic.

If you write in english, we'll answer in english..if you never write again then we will just continue in German. After all though...everybody is always more than welcome to post in the German thread.

I don't have a beef against any particular person over in the German thread. Just saying that it's an English-based website, so it's not exactly inclusive to have a German-based thread. It excludes many of us with German SOs who don't have adequate German to join there. It's exclusive by its nature. Many of those very same people respond in other threads in German when the prior posts are written in English, even. That's why I use the term "intolerance" regarding English use by many people from that particular thread.

[Nina+Matt 0]

it is true that vj is an english-based forum, but there are so many other threads within the regional discussion section where people use their nativ language to communicate with their "kind"!

that being said why wouldnt we write german in our german thread? it is actually a way not to loose our native language and for some members the only german company they have around here!

why some people answer in german to some posts that are in english is because its not always obvious if the poster is able to understand german or not if there is a german flag in the profil!

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

it is true that vj is an english-based forum, but there are so many other threads within the regional discussion section where people use their nativ language to communicate with their "kind"!

that being said why wouldnt we write german in our german thread? it is actually a way not to loose our native language and for some members the only german company they have around here!

why some people answer in german to some posts that are in english is because its not always obvious if the poster is able to understand german or not if there is a german flag in the profil!

I always make it a point to respond to the OP or the person I am quoting in the language which the original message was written.

I make no assumptions that someone can read any other language that the one they have written in. I can not write/type German, so I do not even try.

Besides, this is visajourney.com and not visajourney.de.

Edited April 14, 2009 by Dr. ZoSo

[Melian 0]

Not married to a German yet, but soon will be -

I don't see why this needs to be controversial. I thought the other thread was for people who actually were German, and this, I take it, is for their American spouses - something I definitely can appreciate since, though I've been sporadically studying German for 2 years, I'm not at all comfortable with my ability to speak or write in it. I can, however, read & understand it, so maybe that's why the German thread doesn't give me a negative "exclusive" vibe..

I really hope this thread doesn't degenerate into flaming, since a place to chat with other Americans-married-to-Germans is needed and could be fun.

So, does anyone here have a very hard time getting your German person to help you practice the language? Every time I try, he slips back into English almost immediately. I was afraid he'd do the same with our daughter, but he's been pretty consistent so far in speaking German to her. I'm learning plenty of baby talk, at any rate. I tried putting myself into a "total immersion" situation last Saturday by banning all English for the day, but by 6 pm I had a headache, was incredibly frustrated with my inability to communicate any remotely complex concept, and gave up.

Desserts - I'm trying to avoid sugar, and two desserts I've been enjoying lately are plain yogurt, fruit and nuts with cinnamon & vanilla (surprisingly sweet) and homemade cocoa made with Splenda. Dark chocolate is good for blood pressure, I hear - I like it as dark as 84%, while my other half says anything more than 70% is "no longer candy", but 70% is still semi-healthy - or so I tell myself.

Edited April 14, 2009 by Melian

[veronicavonn 7]

I don't read the "German thread" with a negative tone, however, I think that those "regulars" to that thread have read THIS thread with a negative tone.

I think to ANYONE who even just "popped in" to the "German thread" it would seem like German is the ONLY language used... Just as in other threads in the "Regional Discussion" forums.

It's only fair to have a thread for those of us married to Germans to speak English in.

@Melian:

I dont think that my husband purposely uses English, as you said your husband does. Maybe he is just trying to practice his English as well? If that is the case, why don't you make some sort of "schedule" amongst your family members within your househould. Ie: Monday-Thursday, we speak German, Thursday-Sunday we speak English.

The problem that I have had while speaking the German that I have learned was that family and friends (not husband & stepkids tho), would LAUGH when I said something in German. They weren't laughing because what I said was BAD, it was laughing just because I learned something new to say and they aren't used to me speaking German yet. I actually had asked my husband to ask everyone to stop laughing at me. And he did. They understand that I am trying to learn and that when they laugh, I feel like I shouldn't be speaking German.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

So, does anyone here have a very hard time getting your German person to help you practice the language? Every time I try, he slips back into English almost immediately. I was afraid he'd do the same with our daughter, but he's been pretty consistent so far in speaking German to her. I'm learning plenty of baby talk, at any rate. I tried putting myself into a "total immersion" situation last Saturday by banning all English for the day, but by 6 pm I had a headache, was incredibly frustrated with my inability to communicate any remotely complex concept, and gave up.

I have no problem getting my wife to speak German. She pushes the issue at times. While I try to keep up in the conversations I find myself sounding like a 4 year old repeating the same words in my limited vocabulary or just pointing at things and grunting like it's "mime" day or I'm impersonating Nell for that awful movie.

I try to speak German as much as I can, but at the end of the day when I'm tired, only English comes out.

My wife however has been speaking English far longer than I have been speaking German. I once asked her how her brain works, ie.. "when you think about something what language is it in inside your head"?

She says German and English. I don't believe her!

Edited April 14, 2009 by Dr. ZoSo

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

Desserts - I'm trying to avoid sugar, and two desserts I've been enjoying lately are plain yogurt, fruit and nuts with cinnamon & vanilla (surprisingly sweet) and homemade cocoa made with Splenda. Dark chocolate is good for blood pressure, I hear - I like it as dark as 84%, while my other half says anything more than 70% is "no longer candy", but 70% is still semi-healthy - or so I tell myself.

My wife likes something called Quark. I don't know if I spelled it right, but I have never heard of it before meeting her. To me it's the same as yogurt but she insists it's completely different.

We mostly stick to the world known staples of desserts including strawberry's with whip cream and pear halves. Occasionally she will go to the Bosnia store (what she calls it not me) and get these cream filled chocolate desserts. Personally I cant stand the cream as it tastes like old marshmallows.

Ever tried German pudding?

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

The problem that I have had while speaking the German that I have learned was that family and friends (not husband & stepkids tho), would LAUGH when I said something in German. They weren't laughing because what I said was BAD, it was laughing just because I learned something new to say and they aren't used to me speaking German yet. I actually had asked my husband to ask everyone to stop laughing at me. And he did. They understand that I am trying to learn and that when they laugh, I feel like I shouldn't be speaking German.

I feel the same way when I get the syntax wrong. The bad thing is none of her family ever corrects me when I do make a mistake. I know they are trying to be nice and encourage me to speak more, but I would also like to be told when I put the words in the wrong order.

Edited April 14, 2009 by Dr. ZoSo

[Manuela 0]

If any of you are more into the "playful" learning of a new language you could give this: http://www.amazon.de/K%C3%BChlschrankpoesi...5633013-1110615 a try.

It's basically German words and letters on little magnets that you can put on your fridge to build phrases. It also comes in a "romantic" edition!

I commend you all for at least trying to learn German, my husband hasn't put a lot of effort into it so far. He can talk Swiss German to the cats because that's how I talk to them, but that's about it.

[Dr. ZoSo 0]

If any of you are more into the "playful" learning of a new language you could give this: http://www.amazon.de/K%C3%BChlschrankpoesi...5633013-1110615 a try.

It's basically German words and letters on little magnets that you can put on your fridge to build phrases. It also comes in a "romantic" edition!

I commend you all for at least trying to learn German, my husband hasn't put a lot of effort into it so far. He can talk Swiss German to the cats because that's how I talk to them, but that's about it.

that's interesting!

[EtherealVocalist 0]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

I married the most tender, the most kind and the most loving man... we found each other through the internet. I am a vocalist and he's a film composer. We totally met out of the blue... He loved my voice and I loved his music... We started to collaborate and 3-4 months later decided to meet in real. We have been inseparable ever since - 3+ years later we got married.... He's just so incredible and i looooooooooove the fact that he's german. I think he is the sexiest man I have ever laid my eyes on with the MOST GORGEOUS BLUE eyes!... When I am in his arms, I feel so alive. I am in love with his whole person...

I tried to learn German, alas, I am terrible at it. He just laughs at me and say that I am sexy when I speak french. ( lol ) So I abandonned that idea for the moment... But trust me, i know the "naughty" words...

Edited April 14, 2009 by EtherealVocalist

[Philosykos 0]

I am the German part of the couple, but I would like to join this thread! I also find the "German German thread" a little exclusive, because the conversations seem to revolve around the details of the daily lives of the members who all seem to know each other very well. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don't get into reading it. Maybe I will once I've moved to the US and miss my compatriots! For now, I am much more interested in reading a German-American thread.

Whoever said that "you'll pick up German in no time" really must not have been thinking too much... It is a difficult language! I have two non-German brothers-in-law, and they both have had a hard time learning the language, despite the fact that both are academically educated and have been with my sisters for years - but in their own country. Only now that they recently moved to Germany are they starting to get better at it. It is also nearly impossible for them to practice the language with their spouse, because my sisters both speak their husband's language too well, and because this is the language in which they met, and it just feels completely unnatural to switch. So don't feel bad if it takes you time to learn... I believe you really need to live in the country in order to learn the language well, especially for speaking rather than reading knowledge. I lived in the States for years, and that's why I feel equally comfortable in both languages. A lot of the time I even think in English, as I speak it with my fiancé on the phone every day, as well as at work (I work for an American institution).

[veronicavonn 7]

@Philosykos:

And might I say that you speak VERY good English! I am pleasantly surprised and I love it!

I now have a mini-job here in Germany. I work with my neice who speaks English, however, the rest of my co-workers speak very very little English. This is forcing me to use the VERY basic German that I know every day at work. I love it! Being able to use what my husband and stepkids have taught me is a great feeling.

[cassi9879 20]

Ever tried German pudding?

nope