so frusterated and upset

[gimygirl 0]

nadine ...

you're really going to have to either let the anger go completely or talk it all out with him & come to a resolution. if you don't ... you will start building contempt and we all know what that breeds.

i'm sure your fiance is a very loving, wonderful guy ... you're in an extremely stressful time in your life ... he is NOT going to understand that because YOU are the one that has been taking care of everything. you really can't expect him to get super involved right at the end ... that's an unfair expectation to put on him.

you said that he's going to be much more involved in the AOS process ... that's a lot more realistic. he will be there at the beginning of that process and will be able to see first hand all the work that goes into it.

personally, i would shake it off and let it go!

[Fandango 1,440]

Well, we talked two more times and he tried to be supernice and we talked about looking for a flightticket soon and we sorted some other issues out (not between us, just things that need to be taken care of), but I still feel that I am upset with him about this whole visa thing and how he is so lazy and lets me do all the work but then questions me just because now HE has to do some work.

I really don't want to bring it up to him anymore because I am fed up with anything that has to do with visa and immigration right now, but I know he will notice that something is still wrong.

Uggh, I guess I just need a break. And a hug. And my visa. hihi

I think sulking isn't going to help. gimy's right, let it go...

there's an old saying my family has 'resolve or remove'....either resolve the problem or remove yourself from it. Cos when you get down to it, what other choices do you have???

Good luck!

[Laura_and_IanM 0]

You know I really feel for you. I think Agent Smith was correct in what he said. I have done ALL the research and have done all the paperwork on my own. But that doesn't mean that Ian isn't interested in what is going on. For him it is just a matter of having to contend with work, helping his father out, selling his house, making sure his son is going to school ...etc. Seeing as to how I can't work while I am in the UK, I have no problem with doing it all. It's a small price to pay even though it is a lot of information to consume in one's brain in such a short amount of time. When I first started in here, AussieWench was a godsend and really helped me out a great deal. We are here for you anytime...so vent away. I am sure that your fiance will show his appreciation of all your hard work in due time. Just be patient. If he doesn't...we will all gang up on him and clobber him...DEAL??

Laura Mitchell

[*Robert* 2]

It always surprises me when I hear about the non-USC doing all the work to get the visa and AOS paperwork. If the USC is serious about getting their non-USC SO over here, they should be making darn sure everything is 100% correct. As many members here can tell you, NOTHING is guarnteed when it comes to the immigration process!

I'm sad to hear you fiance is so lazy and not being proacitve in this process, because it's laying the foundation for your future together. If you don't have a strong foundation, the building will collapse.

Good luck with your interview.

[nane1104 146]

I really appreciate all your input.

Yes, I think too, I should let go on that. It is not doing any good.

I was never complaining about me doing the work, even I wished he would have shown more interest in this all but it was okay.

It ticked me off though when he out of a sudden started questioning me, just because now there were some things I needed him to get done.

That was areally disappointeding experience for me, because yes, this is what we build our future on: Without visa no wedding,...

He is organizing and taking care of a lot of other stuff though, so I am not expecting him to get involved into the visa process out of a sudden, but yes, I will make sure, he will be more involved into the AOS.

Though...there are a lot more other things and times that really layed the foundation for our relationship and I know, that this visa process and the stress that comes with it, is nothing but a kinda bumpy road we must travel right now, but nothing that would really shake the foundation our relationship is build on.

Discussing things and not agreeing about them and getting upset about each other to me is a normal thing, as long as it doesn't get out of hand.

And that's what happened- we got upset, we gonna get it straight again.

I definitley thank you guys for the kick in the butt to let go on the anger. I know I tend to bottle things up and then occasionally explode...I know that's not a healthy thing to do.

Gosh, I feel so much better now.

Thanks for listening to my babbling

[Anyta Holland 1]

Hi, just thought I gave you my two cents....

When me and my husband got married, I had to do 90% ON MY OWN the other 10% was done by my parents and my husband driving me here or there (but not too much).... I got really angry one day, when I asked him to sort out the photography, as he had a housemate whose best friend was a photographer, he never finalised anything with the girl (just spoke informally to her) and 3 months before the wedding, she pulled out (when he went to seriously talk to her, after a much needed nagging from my part!)... We were getting married in his home country, in his home town, my parents were across the pond and I was all on my own, and noone bothered to help me, not even his family!

Now, my point is, that I have learnt to live with it, and with the way he is: laidback, relaxed and comfortable with the fact that he knows that I take care of everything (which pi$$es me off sometimes) as every now and again, I need him to take over...

In any case, for what it's worth, we are DCFing and I did ABOSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, even order his BC and Police Certificate.... He only had to sign here and there...

I reckon that I am partly guilty for his behaviour, firstly, cos I like to know what is happening and take over if I can, as to be honest, I don't trust anyone in lifechanging matters like this one... My hubby is also quite forgetful, and I reckon that he would have forgotten a lot of the things he had to do... Having said that, he is quite excited and has always wanted to be informed of the stage we are at and all that, so I suppose I can't say that he has not been involved....