Advice lang po sa mga tulad ko...

[sunlyk 1]

My dear please find a right forum that has the same situation as you, so you'll get good advise.

In State "We serve kids"at the same time teaching them. Let kids be kids, make sure that they are happy. When you discipline kids here it doesn't mean hitting the child or spanking them or else you are " Dead Meat " by the law of child abuse. In US most parents always make kids as a top priority over themself so no matter how busy or tired life is we have to attend there needs. You should try to understand the culture here and the right approach how to handle the situation. I know it not that easy it take time.

And I have to be honest with you " You enter this relationship without thinking " that part of marrying your husband you marry also his kids and that doesn't change when you get into their life, those kids are still your husband kids.

What do you want to do with this kids? kick them out in your house? Do the same with the eldest of your husband? Have you ever imagine what the eldest feeling right now? You think it's easy to grow up without parents on his side or parents not seeing their child growing up? Now that you have children of your own it doesn't mean also it can help the situation but rather make it worse and you know why? because your own children will see and feel how their brothers treating you an it can directly affect their behavior. Girlfriend your situation should be corrected with the help of your husband.

Read about Parenting and step parenting this informations are available online for free. Do not just think of yourself and your children. Your stepsons are also the same page as you are, but they are kids they need to be tought how to behave properly.

[Rocky_nBullwinkle 6]

You should watch this movie and get a few pointers. I don't have stepkids, but I've got nieces and nephews. I love them, but they are undisciplined and a pain in the butt sometimes.

[Ban Hammer 14,182]

when all else fails............

video link - some language, maybe safe 4 work

[simple_mhe24 0]

My dear please find a right forum that has the same situation as you, so you'll get good advise.

In State "We serve kids"at the same time teaching them. Let kids be kids, make sure that they are happy. When you discipline kids here it doesn't mean hitting the child or spanking them or else you are " Dead Meat " by the law of child abuse. In US most parents always make kids as a top priority over themself so no matter how busy or tired life is we have to attend there needs. You should try to understand the culture here and the right approach how to handle the situation. I know it not that easy it take time.

And I have to be honest with you " You enter this relationship without thinking " that part of marrying your husband you marry also his kids and that doesn't change when you get into their life, those kids are still your husband kids.

What do you want to do with this kids? kick them out in your house? Do the same with the eldest of your husband? Have you ever imagine what the eldest feeling right now? You think it's easy to grow up without parents on his side or parents not seeing their child growing up? Now that you have children of your own it doesn't mean also it can help the situation but rather make it worse and you know why? because your own children will see and feel how their brothers treating you an it can directly affect their behavior. Girlfriend your situation should be corrected with the help of your husband.

Read about Parenting and step parenting this informations are available online for free. Do not just think of yourself and your children. Your stepsons are also the same page as you are, but they are kids they need to be tought how to behave properly.

If you wont mind po...gusto ko lang e-correct kayo about sa sinabi mong ito..."What do you want to do with this kids? kick them out in your house?Do the same with the eldest of your husband? Have you ever imagine what the eldest feeling right now? You think it's easy to grow up without parents on his side or parents not seeing their child growing up?"

First,no one kick him or tell him to move out of the house..It was his decision to leave with his grandparents bago pa man ako dumating sa buhay ng asawa ko...He's having issue kasi before tungkol sa drugs so according to my husband..A month before I came here sa US,I even told my husband na ok lang kung dito tumira yung eldest nya sa amin kasi yun naman talaga ang dapat,diba...But it's still the eldest decision saka according to him,he'll be 19 na rin naman so kaya na rin daw nya...Every weekend,we spent time with him at my in-laws and my husband calls his son halos everyday para updated lagi sa eldest...Never miss an occassion when it comes to his son...I even sometimes go there to visit my in-laws and him kasi walking distance lang naman...

Wala rin akong intensyong palayasin yung mga kids sa bahay...It never occured in my mind to ever do that...

[mrsartis 10]

sis,

eto lang sakin, wala akong anak, or any step kids or anything Pero nakitira ako sa mga anti ko so nagalaga ako ng mga pinsan pamangkin. Natural hindi pareho yun, unang una bahay mo yan.. Pangalawa, ako lang magisa sa mga panahon naiyun wala akong asawang makakasama o masasabihan (nanay ko lang, pero nung mga panahon naiyon, isa lang payo niya, kung gusto ko ng matapos i have to eat ###### sandwhich) pro anways so iyun pag sumasagot ang mga pinsan ko.. sakit. prang feeling basahan ka diba? o katulong pero kung tutuusin pamilya . so nung hindi ko na nakayanan sinabi jko sa anti ko, and she said its ok, you can do whatever you want as long as it is disciplanary and wont hurt them just as much.

Una kinausap ko rin mga bata, nung hindi nakinig, tinaasan ko boses ko, nung hindi parin tumama na kamay ko sa puwitan nila..BIgyan mo rin sila ng responsiblity athalimbawa if they want something, they should work for it.. ikaw na maybahaya siyan sis. Tatagan mo kung hindi ay naku lalaong tataas ang mga sungay ng mga yan..

Goodluck ha?

[maritoni 3]

when all else fails............

video link - some language, maybe safe 4 work

[maritoni 3]

My dear please find a right forum that has the same situation as you, so you'll get good advise.

In State "We serve kids"at the same time teaching them. Let kids be kids, make sure that they are happy. When you discipline kids here it doesn't mean hitting the child or spanking them or else you are " Dead Meat " by the law of child abuse. In US most parents always make kids as a top priority over themself so no matter how busy or tired life is we have to attend there needs. You should try to understand the culture here and the right approach how to handle the situation. I know it not that easy it take time.

And I have to be honest with you " You enter this relationship without thinking " that part of marrying your husband you marry also his kids and that doesn't change when you get into their life, those kids are still your husband kids.

What do you want to do with this kids? kick them out in your house? Do the same with the eldest of your husband? Have you ever imagine what the eldest feeling right now? You think it's easy to grow up without parents on his side or parents not seeing their child growing up? Now that you have children of your own it doesn't mean also it can help the situation but rather make it worse and you know why? because your own children will see and feel how their brothers treating you an it can directly affect their behavior. Girlfriend your situation should be corrected with the help of your husband.

Read about Parenting and step parenting this informations are available online for free. Do not just think of yourself and your children. Your stepsons are also the same page as you are, but they are kids they need to be tought how to behave properly.

You saying it is HER obligation to teach them how to behave properly?i believe the OP had already done that..Marrying my spause doen't mean i also married with his child Parenting is not easy, parents who flail themselves for not being able to control their toddlers and make them do what they should do, for heaven's sake, might be better off taking a fresh look at the whole parent-child dynamic. Forget about time-outs,forget about punishment entirely. advocate no begging, no manipulation, no threats, no giving up,and am not talking about the kids, am talking about how the parents behave. That's the gist of this more gentle approach to discipline: if parents can teach themselves to act assertively, kindly, and responsibly, they have a good chance of teaching their children to do the same.What i am saying is WE should SET a good example so kids will learn from us..

Peace,

Mj

[sunlyk 1]

This is what i meant when I said "what you gonna do with the kids? kick them out? sorry just replying thru my mobile can't do those highlighted thingy in the sentences, it is only " figures of speech" not literally kick them out as per advise!!! second of all, i did not said that you kicked out the eldest it is another question. The situation of the eldest I guesd is kind a hard for your husband.

Just try to fit in those people shoes. Believe me, I also feel your struggle. What I'm trying to do here is to speak in behalf of those kids or your husband but again I can be wrong.You are the one venting here and i don't know what's your husband side neither his children.

Sorry same thing to the last poster can't copy paste the sentence above. When i said marry obviously you only marry your husband when i said you also marry the children doesnt mean literally "marry" again by marrying the husband you accepted the resposibility as a spouse and as stepmom to his children, you may not be a bio mom but you are the PARENT. I don't mean no harm with my sentence some would agree and some won't. I am a Stepmom too and I'm also a stepdaughter so I know how does it feel both side again of course we have different situation.

[joemaria 0]

I have two beautiful step daughters, and like you I already knew them before we got married. The only prob is that may pagka burara din cla and I cant blame them for that kc ganun din ang bahay nila with their biological mom, aside from that nothing else coz they're such a sweety. Im a keen observer so the second time around na sa amin cla i told them what a woman should be. So i told them to clean their room and i helped them, as if parang naglalaro lang kami, from that i discipline them and we're having good times.Everytime they have to leave they make sure their room is not messy so when they come back i have a little treat for them. Anyways when i first set my foot in our house, my hubby already told them to follow whatever rules i impose, respect me the way they respect him and treat me their second mom if not their bestfriend. But they chose the first one. Their dada always says if they want him to be happy make sure that i always wear a smile. Sis better to tell ur hubby what's going on, im sure he'll understand. Mas maigi na yun alam niya instead of being quiet lalo na sa sitwasyon mo ngayon. Dont worry things will work out fine need mo lang ivoice out...

[andrew&evelyn 6]

Meron din akong stepkid. He is 8 years old now.Pero we have a totally different situation. My stepkid is a special child. He is very dependent to us. He can't walk, he cant talk and he cant even eat by his mouth. By this we provide everything he need. From feeding him, changing his diaper, wiping his butt, changing his clothes, giving him a bath...as in everything. Even waking up in the middle of the night to check and change his diaper. But all of this doesn't stop me to love and care for him even knowing he does'nt know how to say thank you for everything I did for him. My heart goes out for him.

Naiintindihan ko yong situation mo. Nakakapagod talaga mag-alaga ng bata..even your own kid..what more pa pag hindi mo pa anak. Especially yong mga stepkids mo ay masyadong burara at parang napakahirap pag sabihan...mas mabuti siguro kung kausapin mo na yong asawa para alam nya rin yong pinagdada-anan mo especially na you have 2 yrs old at preggy ka pa.

Like you im almost 7 weeks pregnant...and during the day talagang napapagod ako at sa umaga ang hirap talaga gumising. This time sya muna yong nag-aalaga sa bata. He give me enough time to rest. I suggest na mag open up kana sa hubby mo..

Evelyn

[CHICTOPIC 0]

Sabi nila mahirap daw talagang maging ina , kaya nga umabot na kami parehas ng 30 yrs old di pa namin naisipan mag anak .

Mahirap talaga sitwasyon mo , walang madaling step para dumisiplina sa mga bata , lalo na kung hindi naman syo nanggaling.

Mapapayo ko lang syo , kausapin mo asawa mo , sya ang dapat magdisiplina sa mga anak nya ,

Magtry ka rin na magset up ng rules sa bahay nyo ,kelangan sa rules mo ipaliwanag mo sa kanila , i-print mo sya sa white paper yun makikita nila everyday .

Allahanin mo buntis ka , di ka dapat na-strees .

Huwag kang padikta sa kanila , kase bata yan mga yan di nila alam kung meron ba sila nasasabi na mali or tama , hindi nasosolve ang problema sa pagtatampo , kung tutuusin mas nakakasama pa nga ng loob .

Nandiyan na yan problema , so ang kelangan mo ngayon isipin ang pinakamabisang paraan para malutas yan .

Goodluck ,sana maging maayos din ang lahat sa inyo .

Ingat ,

Rhia

[Vera__ 0]

Wow, talk about an inconsiderate ex.

I have a step-son but so far, he's the "mabait" kind. I hope the ex-wife won't give us problems though.

If I were in your shoes, I'd talk to my husband to re-negotiate the arrangement with the ex-wife. I really can't enslave myself to do what you're doing.

[forever_green 0]

I recommend you read this book "There's a New Family in My House! Blending Stepfamilies Together" by Laura Sherman Walters. I got mine from the Back to the Bible Bookstore here in RP but I'm sure they have it there, too.

Discuss your feelings openly to your husband.

Establish your own house rules and be firm on it. You have responsibility, yes, but you have rights, too. Make it known to the kids as early as now that when they are in YOUR house (although, it is their father's house, you are his wife now and that belongs to you, as well. you have authority, too), they should follow YOUR rules and it will not be you following them.

Most importatntly, PRAY that the LORD would change their attitudes towards you.

God bless you.

[mikeuday19 0]

I am sorry to hear about your situation.

I have 4 stepchildren ...2 grown-up girls from the first marriage, but they are on their own and two wonderful boys ( 7 and 8) from the second marriage. We have the boys every other weekend. My husband is strict and definitely a disciplinarian,that is probably the reason why the girls and boys grew up to be polite. I have a good relationship with all of them and I must say that previous parenting has got to do with it. My stepsons know better than to bad mouth their father or me. In fact I am really impressed because they even ask permission in almost everything like having a soda or treats or going out to play with the neighbors or using the computer to play a game and even using the phone to call their Mom when they are with us.

Don't sulk. Keeping it to yourself wont solve your problem. Instead talk to your husband about these things. You cannot let these kids manipulate you. My eldest stepson tried that to the point of even asking me to get him a glass . . I would tell him that God gave him hands so he better use it and that he is old enough to tend to himself with simple tasks. My husband and I have set simple rules for them and they cannont play until they are being done . The boys must fix their own beds or they must put their plates in the sink and rinse them after eating, they will pick up their own toys and mess. If they don't do these things, they can't play. They know the consequences so in a way they obey.

Your husband must help you with this situation because honestly you wont be able to change things by yourself, you husband must make sure his kids understand that you must be respected. My husband made it clear to the girls and even to the boys that if they disrespect me, he will deal with them harshly. He also made it clear that if they cause trouble betweem him and me, he will choose me.

Talk to your husband about your feelings. Make sure that when he talks to his kids about their behaviour you are there and you must also be able to express your feelings to his kids. Let them know you are hurt with some of the things they do or say to you. Not flushing the toilet is disgusting and this behaviour calls for a drastic change. Set consequences if they keep doing it. Your husband will play a big role in making changes to all these so you must talk to him.

Goodluck and I hope everything will be better.

very well said ate

[-B&T- 1]

Pag sawang-sawa ka na....

~Just wanna make you laugh don't do it ok?!Sana ok ka na ngayon diyan sis.Musta na?