Considering Abondoning it all

[Cassie 8]

Ditto what other much wiser people than me have already expressed here. My best wishes to you as you figure all of this out.

[SpiritAlight 1]

On the chance that you will dive back in here to read all these posts, here's another one.

I read this last week and could not respond...yet.

What I have learnt in my "wise ol' age" is this:

No one can judge.

They cannot judge you, and you cannot judge others.

Judgments are assumptions, and they are always off base.

We can talk and talk and talk to others about our lives and they can attempt to advise us.

In the end, no one really can advise anyone else...especially in matters of the heart.

We are all unique and no one walks in our shoes.

There is a time to talk and time to walk...and sometimes a temporary walk fixes things, as leaving things alone fixes things sometimes.

When horribly angry, the best course of action is to exit the scene and say something like, "I am going out for 20 minutes. We are too angry to continue right now. When I come back we can continue to discuss this."

I'm sorry to read of your hardships, and yes, in these even more stressful times it is a good call to just wait...for a bit.

And then update...again!

Update update update...do you know what I mean by this?

I mean check into yourself (here I go with some metaphysics and spiritual shtuff), check in with your self, and see how you feel.

Maybe write it down. Each day you can write an essay or you can write one word.

A feeling.

Read back after a week, a month, a few months, a year...well, if you decide to do this for a year in your present situation.

Even after a few weeks you will see a pattern.

Your feeling.

Are you in alignment? Meaning your hopes, dreams, joys, etc...are they congruent with how you feel about what life is and can be?

Have you both honoured your agreements?

Have a recap and then make new ones...they could even be something that you say you will do for the next week.

They do not have to be "permanent"!

Hmmmm...this is challenging....to write stuff down here (as succinctly as possible) that I attempt to live my life with every day.

Believe me when I say, from the moment my sweetie and I had a blow out a few months before I got here until (still) now, I am not sure we are compatible and can create a life of joy together. The urgency of his father's health put "us" on the back burner, so to speak.

No wedding.

No celebrating.

We weren't ready anyways, and it was not the time.

So we are talking about stuff from the past, and I am updating and looking for signs/clues as to what is now.

And sometimes there is hope and other times there is confusion.

And so...since I am not quite certain yet, I keep listening and reading and communicating love thingies. Connection, bridges, etc.

Above all there has to be JOY.

Lots of it.

I observe (always) to see if there is more joy than hardships/misunderstandings/arguments/fights.

Ah life.

Whacky....as usual.

I surrender.

Edited December 24, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[Texanadian 10]

On a lighter note, are you sure you want to do this? Do you know how much snow has fallen on Vancouver Island?

[Sprailenes 47]

On the chance that you will dive back in here to read all these posts, here's another one.

I read this last week and could not respond...yet.

What I have learnt in my "wise ol' age" is this:

No one can judge.

They cannot judge you, and you cannot judge others.

Judgments are assumptions, and they are always off base.

We can talk and talk and talk to others about our lives and they can attempt to advise us.

In the end, no one really can advise anyone else...especially in matters of the heart.

We are all unique and no one walks in our shoes.

There is a time to talk and time to walk...and sometimes a temporary walk fixes things, as leaving things alone fixes things sometimes.

When horribly angry, the best course of action is to exit the scene and say something like, "I am going out for 20 minutes. We are too angry to continue right now. When I come back we can continue to discuss this."

I'm sorry to read of your hardships, and yes, in these even more stressful times it is a good call to just wait...for a bit.

And then update...again!

Update update update...do you know what I mean by this?

I mean check into yourself (here I go with some metaphysics and spiritual shtuff), check in with your self, and see how you feel.

Maybe write it down. Each day you can write an essay or you can write one word.

A feeling.

Read back after a week, a month, a few months, a year...well, if you decide to do this for a year in your present situation.

Even after a few weeks you will see a pattern.

Your feeling.

Are you in alignment? Meaning your hopes, dreams, joys, etc...are they congruent with how you feel about what life is and can be?

Have you both honoured your agreements?

Have a recap and then make new ones...they could even be something that you say you will do for the next week.

They do not have to be "permanent"!

Hmmmm...this is challenging....to write stuff down here (as succinctly as possible) that I attempt to live my life with every day.

Believe me when I say, from the moment my sweetie and I had a blow out a few months before I got here until (still) now, I am not sure we are compatible and can create a life of joy together. The urgency of his father's health put "us" on the back burner, so to speak.

No wedding.

No celebrating.

We weren't ready anyways, and it was not the time.

So we are talking about stuff from the past, and I am updating and looking for signs/clues as to what is now.

And sometimes there is hope and other times there is confusion.

And so...since I am not quite certain yet, I keep listening and reading and communicating love thingies. Connection, bridges, etc.

Above all there has to be JOY.

Lots of it.

I observe (always) to see if there is more joy than hardships/misunderstandings/arguments/fights.

Ah life.

Whacky....as usual.

I surrender.

You think so much, it hurts MY brain.

But I know what you're saying. Or I like to think I do.