This is my story

[tracymike 0]

Hi, If someone lies about non important things and with seemingly no reason, that would definitely scare me. I don't trust liars in the first place, but why lie about such an insignificant thing. Trust is so important in a marriage. Good luck to you as only you can decide this situation. Tracy

[zqt3344 21]

You poor man, I feel for you, now you know what the rest of the US men go through with US women. Get out now while you can, if she is lying about that no telling how much more worse stuff to come, get ready. Run for the hills!

I've been a memeber in this forum for a while but I chose not to post under my nickname and created a different one, I really need to talk and share my story as it's

blowing my mind, my story begins back in 2005 when I met this woman online and had a wonderful online relationship with, we talked day and night

for 2 years before I was able to come here and meet her in 2007, I had a wonderful job back home, and I worked my way to the top in a very well know multinational

company, I've always been skeptic about marriage, I thought it's not made for me, but all in a sudden something about that woman made me reconsider my thoughts

and actually think about marrying somebody, I fell deeply in love, I had to go against my family and my friends for this relationship, they all thought someone like me shouldn't

marry a woman that is older than him, and to me I thought it wasn't an issue, and I fought for it and I didn't care who says what!

Anyways, after I came here in 2007 we spent about 2 months together, during which I felt like I was in heaven, so we decided that every six month I should come for a month

and at the same time we will talk in the internet just like we always did, few months later as I missed so much being with her we started talking about getting married and actually

live together, after a long thinking we decided that I will leave everything behind and come to the USA and start all over again with my career, and so I did.

I came here in May 2008 we got married, had a honeymoon, we stayed happy for 2 months and then in Aug. we decided to file my paperwork.

Then things started to change, ok I don't mind the fact that she was married before and had kids with her ex-husband , never been an issue to me as she was upfront about it

since the first day we met online, but one day I was going to pay some bills and I met someone who knew my wife and he confronted me and told how are you doing with that

woman of yours, I got lit, but I thought for a moment he might be a relative or someone that I don't know in her family, but then he told me that he was her ex-husband, the

problem is that his name was different than the one I know...

Anyways I went down to the immigration lawyer that helpt us file the papers, and had a copy of the papers that she gave him, and I found out that she was married 5 times

before me, and she never told me except for only one of them!!!!

I fought about it and I was ready to leave, and then for some reason I felt sorry for her and I stayed, we worked things out and I decided to forgive her (stupid I know).

the irony is I still loved her but I was hurt deeply.

Anyways, I've just recieved my work permit and SSN last month and I was able to find a job with my resume in the same company I worked with overseas, so I thought

maybe it's God answering my prayers after I got hurt and thought that things will start to get better.

But what happened is one day I happened to be working in a place close to where she works( I work in different places everyday), and I saw her driving her car out of her

jobs parking lot, I called her on the phone and asked her where she was going ? and somehow she thought I was playing, so she told me she is working and

she talked in a low tone as if she was dealing with a customer, so I followed her with my car and then when she saw me she got shocked!!! and then she told me that

she was going to go home to eat something and go back to work! I thought it was a lie and she felt that I didn't believe her, so 3 hours later she called and I got really upset

and she did too, and then she said that the truth is she was trying to surprise me, but again she knows I am working and I am not at home so was she going to surprise? just another

lie...

Anywyas, my interview is next month and I don't know what to do shall I just call immigration and cancel everything?(the lawer told me that I won't be able to come to the USA again

as I will be considered overstayed my visa? is that true?)

If I stay and get my GC (which is not even possible after being married 5 times before me) I'll feel bad as it will be just for the green card and I won't forgive myself for using someone like that.

I am so confused.

[middleofnowhere 0]

Thank you all for your advices and they mean a lot to me as I was unable to think rationaly about this whole matter, anyways we talked about it the last couple of days and then I decided to leave and actually made a couple of phone calls to arrange the money for my ticket

all that infront of her, and I don't know but she thought I was playing or something then she asked me to stay and she will do anything to make sure I get my GC and after that we go seperate ways, I think she finally felt guilty, anyways definitely I did not accept the offer

as she knows very well that I don't care very much about staying here, after that she collapsed and kept asking for forgiveness and that we should work things out and stuff like that, so I told her I need some time to think about it and since then she has been doing everything possible to

please me and to make me change my mind about leaving. And for those who asked me how much older she is, she is 12 years older than me, which I don't think is relevant to her actions or even the reason why she's acting that way, I happen to know many couples where the woman is

older but things work out perfectly, so I don't think I will blame it on that.

[DanielParul 50]

I am so sorry this happened to you. I am not going to advice you to stay here or go back home coz you seem like a reasonable and mature man who can make that decision. I just have my wishes for you and hope you get over this and move on in your life and be happy.

[faryan 4]

Thank you all for your advices and they mean a lot to me as I was unable to think rationaly about this whole matter, anyways we talked about it the last couple of days and then I decided to leave and actually made a couple of phone calls to arrange the money for my ticket

all that infront of her, and I don't know but she thought I was playing or something then she asked me to stay and she will do anything to make sure I get my GC and after that we go seperate ways, I think she finally felt guilty, anyways definitely I did not accept the offer

as she knows very well that I don't care very much about staying here, after that she collapsed and kept asking for forgiveness and that we should work things out and stuff like that, so I told her I need some time to think about it and since then she has been doing everything possible to

please me and to make me change my mind about leaving. And for those who asked me how much older she is, she is 12 years older than me, which I don't think is relevant to her actions or even the reason why she's acting that way, I happen to know many couples where the woman is

older but things work out perfectly, so I don't think I will blame it on that.

I think, the most important thing to consider is whether or not u still want to be married to this person after all this crucial infos come to light and some very weird going ons. Not whether she collapse and beg and stuff. Or offer to work with you re GC even when u dont care about that. Personally i question her mental health, or at least her faculty of choosing right and wrong (what with her antics and all, and at 12 years older I would have at least expected a matured person, who values truth and openness and a stable loving relationship). So her being older is as you said not an issue, but being married 5 times AND not telling you is a huge red flag. Whatever you decide, i wish u the best wishes, and stay safe in case of retaliation.