Love advice, LIVE on VJ!

[SpiritAlight 1]

Oh an after thought...I strongly recommend to both sexes:

The Female Brain

by Louann Brizendine, M.D.

A scientific and sociological book.

Excellent.

[Emancipation 2]

Gal.. you are just too deep for me on Monday morning

[SpiritAlight 1]

AAAHHH...me and my bad typing abilities.

In my last long post, I meant the following:

...

Manly men.

That term cracks me up and i love to use it.

Manly men have melted my socks off!

And still...

...

not many men...sigh...sorry for more confusion.

Gal.. you are just too deep for me on Monday morning

And you are so right...it is time for coffee making and a shower....not particularly in that order.

Ha.

Thanks E!

Edited September 15, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[SpiritAlight 1]

Yay this thread has been revived!

Spirit -- you speak the truth. "Conscious" men do exist. I have known some in my day... heh, maybe they all live in Vancouver?

And can you tell me more about 'power in language?' What exactly do you mean?

Good Day Brown Eyes.

There is so much.

I wish we lived close and could meet over this subject.

Allow me to find a good passage to try and transcribe here on these pages.

Please stand by...

[thetreble 19]

And so I do not mean to sound argumentative and you put that on your list for me to change (bahahaha), I hope that I can put out there that not all men are the same...as we women are definitely not all the same.

There are varying degrees of femininity and masculinity.

I absolutely agree. There are varying types of both sexes. I believe initially what I was trying to say, in response to someone's relationship, was that I never expect my husband to be this or that way. I have girlfriends who are very stern and often do not show emotion. I do not expect them either to sit down and have long, lengthy conversations with me about all things emotional.

As a poet, I have been around many men who wrote about their feelings...although when it came to SHOWING and SPEAKING of their feelings they often had trouble doing so

[SpiritAlight 1]

And so I do not mean to sound argumentative and you put that on your list for me to change (bahahaha), I hope that I can put out there that not all men are the same...as we women are definitely not all the same.

There are varying degrees of femininity and masculinity.

I absolutely agree. There are varying types of both sexes. I believe initially what I was trying to say, in response to someone's relationship, was that I never expect my husband to be this or that way. I have girlfriends who are very stern and often do not show emotion. I do not expect them either to sit down and have long, lengthy conversations with me about all things emotional.

As a poet, I have been around many men who wrote about their feelings...although when it came to SHOWING and SPEAKING of their feelings they often had trouble doing so

Big hug!

[SpiritAlight 1]

There are many sources for similar info.

I like to put it in my own words, and for now, though, I will quote from Deepak Chopra's book that I fell across on the library last week called

Twenty Spiritual Lessons for Creating the Life You Want; The Way of the Wizard

A loooong title, huh?

Hee, hee.

Here goes:

(I am pulling out some phrases and stringing them together)

The power of words lies not in their surface meaning but in qualities hidden from view.

Every word enfolds knowledge and intent.

The intention of a word can be absorbed in you after time, and all you need now is a reminder (example, sleep...Time to go to sleep now. And you do.)

Can a word cast a spell?

A spell has been cast in the form of a mental imprint.

Say the word school to anyone, and immediately the experience of going to school will be triggered. Associations of success or failure for a good or bad student.

"Mortals are trapped in words the way a spider wraps flies in gossamer," Merlin (the wizard) claimed to Arthur, "Only in this case you are both the spider and the fly, because you imprison yourself in your own web."

Identification with:

labels &

names.

All just words.

But which words allow us to break out of old habits and limited identification?

Words carry psychological meanings too. It is through words that parents make children feel good or bad, right or wrong.

The most powerful expressions anyone can use are yes and no.

The effect of these two syllables is to build boundaries or break them down.

Everything you think you can do has a yes buried somewhere inside it, usually uttered by a parent or teacher in the distant past.

And everything you think you cannot do... (see above).

"Because words tell us who we are, we are still more than they can tell. No matter how powerful the spell words cast, people can change. The power of words can create something new, not just a limit." said Merlin.

Whenever a word is back up by intention, it enters the field of awareness as a message or a request.

The universe is being put on notice that you have a certain desire.

Nothing more is required to make desires come true than this, because the computing ability of the universal awareness is infinite.

All messages are heard and acted upon.

There is no work to do. People try too hard, expend too much energy.

Less effort is needed.

Sit quietly and observe your mind.

What messages is it transmitting out?

(hee, hee, my extrapolation)

In my own words:

we have been domesticated as a species.

It started young...and continued right through school.

Imagine a wild being, a wild child playing when she/he is three.

Then look at the spirit of that same child when society has beat it down with labels and limitations.

"You are a boy."

"You are a girl."

"You can do this, and not that."

"You are black."

"You are white."

"You are strong."

"You are weak."

"You are rich/poor."

The list is long.

So when you buy the story of who people tell you you are and kill off the wildness, the spirit, the creativity to conform and comply, bah, there you have it...someone that can tow the line in a corporation and not rock the boat. Work for the man and pay your mortgage. Buy the story hook, line and sinker.

I wonder if I am getting the message across...

Please do respond and let me know what you have gotten from this verbage.

Thanks!

My intention is to inspire, not incite a riot.

Hahaha!

Edited September 15, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[brown_eyes 0]

I had to read it a few times but I think I get it now.

Sort of.

Aww, Spirit... I wish we lived closer, too. I have nothing but time on my hands for the next 3 whole weeks (before starting the new job) and need something interesting to fill my time with. Maybe I should read a good book.

[TheATeam 0]

Spirit, you absolutely made sense to me! I've been looking for a new book to read and I think that may be the one! I've had to be very conscious of the power of words lately. In general, I grew up in a negative household. We were always told what we couldn't do instead of what we could. In fact, my mom still does this to me. It's hard to change from being surrounded in the negativity to being positive. I find I have to check myself, and see what messages I'm sending out into the universe. My husband, on the other hand, is a positive person by nature, so it drives him crazy when I'm negative. In fact, we had an argument this weekend because I was complaining and in general being negative and didn't even realize it, it was so ingrained in my nature. The power of words is immense.

[SpiritAlight 1]

Spirit, you absolutely made sense to me! I've been looking for a new book to read and I think that may be the one! I've had to be very conscious of the power of words lately. In general, I grew up in a negative household. We were always told what we couldn't do instead of what we could. In fact, my mom still does this to me. It's hard to change from being surrounded in the negativity to being positive. I find I have to check myself, and see what messages I'm sending out into the universe. My husband, on the other hand, is a positive person by nature, so it drives him crazy when I'm negative. In fact, we had an argument this weekend because I was complaining and in general being negative and didn't even realize it, it was so ingrained in my nature. The power of words is immense.

Thank you ATeam, you help me feel normal.

Hee, hee.

Yes, I am quite the product of my surroundings, and am such a sensitive person and chameleon to keep safe in this sometimes rough and illusion-filled world.

And so I do not even realize that the poison I spew out is not coming from me, my heart, it is my ability to be so empathic and pick up ####### from whoever I'm near.

This only happens when I am not well in my world (i.e. strong, in alignment, and centred), and then I hear myself and do not like me at all.

This is the worst place to be.

I am about love and joy, damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hence the urgency to find my peops ASAP....speak the same language and keep re-mind-ing (written like this on purpose), each other of how power-full, how loving, how okay we all truly are. We lack for nothing in the joy department. It is like the sun behind the clouds sometimes...the times we feel sad, angry, discouraged, etc.

Meaning the sun (the joy) is always there...we need to keep tapping in!

[SpiritAlight 1]

I had to read it a few times but I think I get it now.

Sort of.

Aww, Spirit... I wish we lived closer, too. I have nothing but time on my hands for the next 3 whole weeks (before starting the new job) and need something interesting to fill my time with. Maybe I should read a good book.

Hee, hee.

I study this and talk it over with my spiritual-type friends often and for years, and so...it takes time to process such shtuff.

May I recommend a small and amazing book (actually,l anything this man writes is awesome and real):

The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz.

Do check out his site!

Here is a synopsis.

Clicky!

Edited September 15, 2008 by SpiritAlight

[brown_eyes 0]

I think I am going to get this book. I need something to occupy my time (other than VJ) since I am sleeping later than I should be at night.

It would probably give me the boost I need before starting the new gig.

Thanks Spirit -- I will let you know how this goes for me! I'm excited and I hope that it can help me and my wonderful man. He certainly deserves a break from his current situation with work. Poor guy is also having a harder time than we both thought adjusting to the new city. I don't know what I can do to help him. Hopefully some encouraging words from me will make a bit o' difference.

[SpiritAlight 1]

That sounds great BrownEyes...very understanding and loving.

mmmmm....

A "new" thought:

So I asked my sweetie the other day,

"What if instead of just me leaving all known things/people behind and obviously I am not adjusting well, what if we both did that?"

Him: "Uhm, what are you saying?"

Me: "What if we both moved?"

Him: "I told you, I cannot leave before end of June 2009." (work related shtuff)

Me: "What will it cost you, and us, to wait?"

Him: no answer

Me: "What about doing something so radical, so different, it defies typical social structure."

Him : eyes wide open

Me: "What if I moved first and you came later?"

Him: "Obviously I cannot say no. You do not want to go through Winter here. Where do you want to go?"

Me: "You know I need to live on the West Coast. You pick where you think you could try living."

Him: "It doesn't matter to me. It's all the same. You pick!!!"

Me: "What do you mean? All the same...I need for you to get excited about this possibility and play along with me; as my partner, as my playmate."

Him: nothing

Me: "This is why I feel you can never leave this place. You cannot even imagine anywhere but here."

and so on....

So, what upsets me...if I have to research and plan and pick and all that on my own, what is the point of being in a relationship?

I would fair better alone...no one to convince that there is more to life than...

We had discussed moving away from Chicago way before we even talked of getting married.

So I thought he was in.

You know?

That he was the one who would explore with me....etc.

I ended up telling him clearly, "My life's plan is to own a boat and live on it again. I do not want to live on land for long. I was living on a boat when we met."

We are going to (me probably) look into three places to start: Seattle, San Fran and San Diego.

Although I personally would love living on one of the Hawai'ian islands for a year or two and see how that feels.

Mmmm... sigh.

My first choice would be somewhere truly quiet (no, never the burbs); and we need to stay in a city for some time still.

There are quiet streets in cities...it's just not the same.

There is some progress.

We are not fighting about it.

I am being clear and letting him know exactly what I need, as I used to before living with him.

And he is saying that he is willing to look at my findings.

He even came home yesterday with, "I've been thinking about Seattle all day."

Wow!

[Emancipation 2]

I find boys need to slow cook about stuff.. you pop an idea in their brains.. leave it stew for a few days and they "generally" return to you in a few days and say "you know what.. i've had this GREAT idea" (totally forgetting its your idea in the first place)

[SpiritAlight 1]

I find boys need to slow cook about stuff.. you pop an idea in their brains.. leave it stew for a few days and they "generally" return to you in a few days and say "you know what.. i've had this GREAT idea" (totally forgetting its your idea in the first place)

Bahahaha....so true... you're killing me...hee hee.