Need some advice on moving back to canada

[RositaL 0]

I"m also from Mississauga, I came to NYC for grad school and then met my (now) husband-- we live in NJ very close to Rutgers for about 4 years now.

I too fear of having someone side swipe me on the NJturnpike-- and what is up with the U- turn-- Jug Handles or whatever their called. I find the more south you go in Jersey the nicer people are-- but if you go too far south then you end up with the Beach types. If you go North you end up with all those who think they are from New York and have the most horrible accents.

Even though America is full of diverse cultures I find that the people are very ignorant of one another's backgrounds. I would love to move back to Canada, and maybe one day i will, but for now, i'm trekking along waiting for paperwork and trying to swallow Dunkin' Donuts coffee.

Maybe we should start a group of Canadian Women in NJ...any thoughts?

[neiks 19]

Move closer to the border and live in a border town, then commute to Canada to work. Then you will be paying Canadian EI and will be entitled to Canada's year long Maternity/paternity leave. You will be in Canada just as much as the US and it will never even feel like you moved. Just my suggestion. lol

[Carlawarla 1]

I'm so sorry you're still so homesick! I love Ottawa as well, and know what you mean about walking around..the city parks, gardens. I've never been to NJ! I've really come to appreciate St. Louis after being here for 17 months now. We live in the "suburbs", and it is very easy to get around with a car anyway. LOTS of parks, bike trails, and festivals! I lived in Saskatoon, and I was a little worried when I heard that St. Louis was bigger than Toronto, being really used to getting around, most places walking. I spent my early years in Toronto, and my family still lives there. I was up there in April, and I couldn't wait to get back. Now again, I'm coming from a different perspective, and an older one... We also at this time can't contemplate leaving the US because of Gene's job at present. So, I'm trying to make lemonade from lemons, but in fact....I've come to realize that it isn't lemons here now anymore...

[J&K 0]

I moved from Oshawa, ON to a tiny little town in Virginia that I lovingly call 'May'Berryville. We have like 6 cops, I walk to everything in town (and that only takes me 5 minutes to completely look at, on both sides of main street )

We live about 45minutes from the outskirts of DC where both hubby and I work. Which is probably what I would have ended up doing if I still lived in Ontario and commuted into Toronto.

I wouldn't give up this life if someone paid me. I think I definitely lucked out. It so full of history, the people here are nicer than anything. People are starting to recognize me in town, and everyone says hello to one another.

Actually, when Hubby and I go somewhere north of here and cross the Mason-Dixon line, we feel out of place. Can't wait to get back 'home'

I would probably feel like you are thetreble if I were living somewhere where I didn't feel comfortable. But I'm sure you'll make something work, whether it is moving to somewhere else in the US, or back to Canada. I wish you nothing but good luck

[Emancipation 2]

Actually, when Hubby and I go somewhere north of here and cross the Mason-Dixon line, we feel out of place. Can't wait to get back 'home'

what ever do you mean

tee hee

[SpiritAlight 1]

Some wonderfully heartfelt posts here.

Mmmmm....I enjoyed reading them all.

I have often fantasized about my partner and I moving back to BC.

Well he only visited me there twice, but for long enough each time that I took him around and he saw a lot.

I don't believe he was impressed with the natural aspect that is the wild west coast.

He and I both grew up in cities: he = Chicago and me = Montreal, and my 13 years spent in BC shook the need to be in the city full-time.

Hey, and watch it about comments like feeling over 40 because you are in the burbs.

Some of us over 40 year-olds can't stand the burbs, bleh!

Death I have called it.

Cultural death.

I would much prefer living in town as we just moved into a wonderful area of Chicago, or I could live out my days on one of the Gulf Islands, BC, chopping wood and chasing deer out of the garden. It is so quiet there you can wing the eagle and raven's wings as they fly past. It is so dark on a new moon, that you can wag your hand in front of your nose and not see it. And it is so bright on a full moon, you need sun(moon)glasses!

Yes, I am in love with the place.

Having just moved and settling into Chicago (we have been away a lot since I got here in January, so it feels like I just got here), there is much to see, discover and explore. I am extremely excited!!!

And time will tell if I will long to go elsewhere to live...probably if we have a yucky Winter again this year. Hahaha!

As for trying other places to live in the U.S., we will probably do that...and probably before we ever do go to live in BC.

Recently however, I am becoming enamoured with living in Europe.

Paris? Somewhere on a Greek island? London? Hmmmm...oh the possibilities.

Yes, I can get an EU passport, my honey can transfer to London (one of a few cool places), and we can take it from there.

More immigration stuff to study...phew.

As far as where is better/best:

there is truly no such thing....although a place that stinks/smells is no good. Bahaha.

Peace and comfort come from within.

Know what I mean jelly-bean(s)?

We all need to be comfortable in out own skin and the rest is icing.

[Sprailenes 47]

Alaska sounds nice. Anything is better than Jersey.

I feel like I am living in the "joke state" it kind of stinks...no pun intended

Its not really a garden state, its more of a concrete state.

We are looking into moving to PA, north of Philadelphia, but that could take time as well. Oh well time is all I have.

I'm sorry laura, I know you are moving here and we're probably not giving you the best impression of the place. I mean some people love New Jersey. I am sure you will.

Its all a matter of personal opinion.

I am just hard to please...I am a terrible example.

[SpiritAlight 1]

I just want to extend an invitation to all of you to move to Alaska...it's not Canada, but it's not really the US either. We'd be happy to have all of you. We can even open a Timmy Hortons so you have some creature comforts

I love Alaska!

Hiked at Denali (no, not Mt. McKinley), saw Anchorage, Homer, Fairbanks, some cool campsite (?), all beautiful and the people are so genuine.

Kind.

Well, I have never been there in the Winter though and probably could not live there.

Good luck to you!

[thetreble 19]

Hey guys! Thanks for all your stories, suggestions and experiences. New Jersey is a funny state...you can live out in the middle of nowhere and you can live right in the hood in a matter of miles. Where I live in NJ is pretty much as urban as it gets for living it a town and not even a city. The towns in my county are so jammed packed you don't even realize when you are entering or leaving one to the next. NJ is the most densely populated state in America. It has the most millionaires, but most of what I see is border line poverty where I live.

Neiks-Id love to live close to the border in michigan or something like that, but alas, with no family or no interest in places like that I guess that puts me even further out of where I feel i belong! haha

Laura-Nevada and I know you are moving to NJ so my post is not to scare you. You might very well love NJ as much as the next New Jerseyian. I guess it's just not for us and where your husband lives is definetely nothing like where I live. Half the the time I walk around feeling like I owe people something here. Either I owe them respect, time, money, etc. It's hard feeling that way all the time when you talk to people are even just come across them. Whether you are white, blank, hispanic, etc., many New Jerseyians have natural attitudes whether you are nice or not. I once was almost hit by a lady backing out in a movie theatre parking lot. She was probably about 50 and her mother was in the car, who was about 75. She rolled down the window and said, "if you don't want to get killed, you will move out of the way.." When I replied, "do you understand simple rules about pedestrians?" she called be a ######. That was it. I was so amazed I just sort of stood there.

Last week I was in stand still traffic and this guy wanted me to move up even though we weren't going anywhere any time soon. He rolled down his window and I could see from my review mirror he was calling me ###### and the four letter c word. All I was doing was sitting in traffic.

That is my every day life. It's not the kind of life I want to love, nor the kind of people I want around me or my future kids.

I talked to my husband last night and I agreed to wait the four more years until citizenship so it would all make sense. That is for the best. However, he did say he'd move to PA or where ever else I wanted to move so..Alaska here we come~ hahahaha

[Sprailenes 47]

In the mean time while we wait to get our duals, we should just meet and get drunk and merry and sing Canadian songs.

Anything involving beer...I'm so there!

So true about the urban/ghetto/farmland....you don't know where you are because theres no real borders. Are we still in Medford? No? Oh when did we get to Trenton? I didn't see any signs!

[raymaga 25]

You can apply for citizenship after being a permanent resident for 3 years, not 5 years. Spouses of US citizens only have to wait for 3 years after becoming a PR.

I would love to move back to Canada as well some day. I will be a U.S. citizen shortly (my interview is August 21st) and then I may look into what the process involves for me to take my husband to Canada.

I don't relish the idea of doing any immigration stuff AGAIN (only in reverse), but we'd love to retire to Canada if we can find somewhere cheap enough to retire to.

[thetreble 19]

Well then 2 more years for me isn't that long! Thanks for that info Raymaga. I thought I read on their website it's 5.

And Also, Rosital- A Canadian women in NJ group sounds LOVELY. How do we start such a feat?

[faylen 0]

I have to raise my hand for this. I am totally feeling all of you. I've been here for 5 years, and yet it still doesn't feel like "home" to me. My kids and I just came back from a nice long, very pampered, spoiled rotten (by my mom) vacation in Vancouver. We stayed for 2 months, and seriously, I didn't want to come back. My hubby and I are doing just fine. No marital problems whatsoever, but I have to be honest.. it's the "monster-in-law"!! She meddles just a little too much, especially w/ the kids. Anyway, that's the bulk of it. I just feel like I don't belong here.

Anyway, when we were there, I was so convinced that I didn't want to come back to the US anymore, inspite of everything that we had to go through with the whole immigration process. So, my hubby actually was the one who decided that maybe we should move to Vancouver. So here I go, running around the house with my 5 month baby in my tummy bouncing all around like an egg yolk... then someone had to burst my bubble and told me that since I became a PR in the US, that I can only be gone for so long, otherwise, it would mean that I've abandoned my status here! AHHHH! Had I known this in the beginning, I think I would've just stayed in Canada.

Well, to put me out of my misery... let's just say that I started doing my homework.

Well anyway, here's where were at now. Since I'm already eligible to file for US citizenship, we figured that that's probably the only way we could move to Canada without me sacrificing my status in the US.

Now here's the problem...... I'm about to send my application for US citizenship. Now, were thinking, and not to get ahead of ourselves too much, basing on how "fast" some people are getting their applications approved, we're hoping that at least by January, I'll be a citizen already. Well, since I still need to petition him in order for all of us to live in Canada, and knowing that this is also a lengthy process, we were thinking that maybe we should also start his paperwork now, while I'm applying for citizenship. I'm kind of hesitant to do it, just because I don't want them to deny my US citizenship application if they find out that I'm also petitioning my husband to live in Canada at the same time? I don't know. What should I do? Should I wait until I become a citizen, then petition him??

Sorry, I know this is very long. But thank you for those who read it.

[Autumnchik 6]

I would much prefer living in town as we just moved into a wonderful area of Chicago, or I could live out my days on one of the Gulf Islands, BC, chopping wood and chasing deer out of the garden. It is so quiet there you can wing the eagle and raven's wings as they fly past. It is so dark on a new moon, that you can wag your hand in front of your nose and not see it. And it is so bright on a full moon, you need sun(moon)glasses!

Yes, I am in love with the place.

Oh Spirit .... the Gulf Islands .... I can envision myself (the USC) enjoying life there. My husband's family live on Denman Island, and I love visiting. My husband (who is originally from Kamloops) spent his most recent years before me living in Vancouver, and I think Denman Island would actually be TOO slow paced for him. We've talked about moving to Vancouver Island at some point, but for now we are here in the States. Our recent debates actually center around which state to live in. Hubby wants to move back to Georgia whereas I would prefer to stay in the Northeast.

[SpiritAlight 1]

I would much prefer living in town as we just moved into a wonderful area of Chicago, or I could live out my days on one of the Gulf Islands, BC, chopping wood and chasing deer out of the garden. It is so quiet there you can wing the eagle and raven's wings as they fly past. It is so dark on a new moon, that you can wag your hand in front of your nose and not see it. And it is so bright on a full moon, you need sun(moon)glasses!

Yes, I am in love with the place.

Oh Spirit .... the Gulf Islands .... I can envision myself (the USC) enjoying life there. My husband's family live on Denman Island, and I love visiting. My husband (who is originally from Kamloops) spent his most recent years before me living in Vancouver, and I think Denman Island would actually be TOO slow paced for him. We've talked about moving to Vancouver Island at some point, but for now we are here in the States. Our recent debates actually center around which state to live in. Hubby wants to move back to Georgia whereas I would prefer to stay in the Northeast.

Thanks for this Autumnchik...not just for your response, but it allowed me to re-read my nonsense writing.

I meant to write:

hear the wings of those birds....

sigh.

Hee, hee.

I type faster than my abilities; which are nonexistent.

I have yet to go to Denman, and Vancouver Island is a perfect middle ground.

You can have (small) city and (fresh, wild, rural) country very very close together.

How wonderful to read all these posts, again, to see that VJers desiring to bring their spouse to Canada are more than a few.

Hmmmmm....interesting.

It feels like there is a lot of guilt here on these pages.

I believe there is no need nor room for guilt.

The need to bring your USC spouse to live in Canada is natural.

Tee, hee.

And this does not take away from the possibility/reality of loving life here in the U.S.